Fan Mail and Reader Comments to Happier Abroad
(Sorted in ascending order, newest at the top)
Page 1 , Page 2
I must thank you for sharing your experiences with me on your website HappierAbroad. In fact I am so grateful to you because you succinctly put into clear words the utterly incoherent disturbances of dread and loneliness that have been gnawing away at my soul for years on end.
Identifying the problem is half way to fixing it, so by putting your experiences into stories and words I find myself relating perfectly to what you have to say. Thank you for giving my soul a voice. I feel so much more relaxed—this sense of closure and the feeling that I am not alone is quite liberating.
Here in Australia I am a loner and I could just never figure out why. I don’t fit in here, nor have I ever felt any sense of belonging or allegiance to the people or culture of this place. This artificial culture of vice and fakeness is utterly foreign and repulsive to my inner essence as a human being. I find Australians to be superficial and cliquish.
So I feel like I am going psychotic because I can’t tell anyone around me what is bothering me, in fact half the time I can’t even explain it to myself! Let alone the people around me, whose knee-jerk reaction will invariably be the typical politically correct denial of reality: “there’s good and bad people in every culture, everyone is different, and people are the same wherever you go.”
You’ve heard it all before.
What really struck me about your website is the observation you make that in these more interconnected cultures one can be alone and yet not feel alone.
Amazing! Many years ago, long before reading your website, I was visiting my friends in Austria. I was in one friend’s apartment one day writing letters home and I realized that he was out and that I was all alone, yet I did not feel alone at all!
In fact I thought of my friends who were always on hand and nearby, I remembered my old grade school around the block with all those warm childhood memories, I thought about the girlfriend I had there, she lived in a village nearby, I remembered the families I knew and their warmth and hospitality, and I could never fear being alone with such reassuring people so close at hand!
How amazing, how diametrically contrasting this experience was to the experience of Western culture where relationships are superficial and fleeting, insincere and inconsequential. Yet over here in Austria I had everything I needed, alone in this apartment!
Again, I visited a few months ago, I even went to Germany to see some other friends I have over there, and it was the same experience all over again. I found another girl to date, I met many kind people, warm and receptive families who were all too eager to take me in and treat me with the warmth they would treat their own sons. Such affection was absolutely touching and totally unexpected from where I come from; no one ever treats me like that in Australia!
In Australia I am treated like a disposable object, especially by women, my value is usually ascertained within 20 seconds of meeting an Aussie girl and I never seem to measure up. Yet in Austria and Germany meeting girls was just so simple and spontaneous, as inevitable as taking a simple breath. The idea of a girl being “out of your league” doesn’t exist over there, in fact there are no “leagues”, just simple relationships the way they are supposed to be.
In Europe there were no silly games, no Machiavellian bullshit, no delusions of grandeur to compensate for a substandard personality, no need to entertain a girl like a clown entertains an ADHD child, all that was required was a simple and sincere personality.
My best friend over there is engaged to a Russian woman and she is one of the most amazing women I have ever met, I am so envious of him because she has absolutely everything a man could ever ask for in a woman. Endearingly beautiful, a bright and open expression full of vigor and joy, she speaks 4 languages and never runs out of things to talk about because she has so many interests and knowledge of the world.
Women like that take femininity to a whole new level, in comparison Western women fall far behind.
Anyway I wanted to share two things with you.
First of all I saw this quote on your website:
“The US appears to hold individuality so dear that it has produced possibly the most bland \'individuals\' of all cultures, bi-polar patients aside perhaps, which there seems to be no end of now. It would appear the true life of the person cannot be found in isolation, rather it blooms in a more collective mentality. No surprise, it\'s difficult to cultivate a complex mentality when all you\'re exposed to is the same people, friends, situations, roads, jobs, etc or worse, left in isolation. I have always found my friends from other countries to be far more informed and colorful as people, men and women both and far more altruistic and \'other oriented\' than the people I\'ve known in the US.
Strangest thing is, the people I\'ve known from politically torn and bomb ridden countrysides are far less paranoid than people from the States and far more outgoing. Then again, people from safer countries than the US, which are many, are also less paranoid and more outgoing. Go figure.”
Now compare it to this quote by Aleksandr Solzhenitsyn, and note the striking similarity!
\"A fact which cannot be disputed is the weakening of human personality in the West while in the East it has become firmer and stronger. Six decades for our people and three decades for the people of Eastern Europe; during that time we have been through a spiritual training far in advance of Western experience. The complex and deadly crush of life has produced stronger, deeper, and more interesting personalities than those generated by standardized Western well-being. Therefore, if our society were to be transformed into yours, it would mean an improvement in certain aspects, but also a change for the worse on some particularly significant points.\"
Finally, I want to share with you another resource I keep close at hand. There is this place called the Manhood Academy, it’s like the Fightclub of the internet and there you will find an important free eBook that elaborates on a lot of the same issues you cover. What I particularly like about this place is that they advocate a philosophy of confronting feminism and fighting feminist women head on. It would be nothing if they didn’t specifically map out strategies on how to deal with feminist women, and in that regard I find this resource invaluable. Its methods are very effective and I think any man can benefit from this free book. I wanted to share it with you and hear what you think.
It is a good choice for any man stuck in this prison of Western culture.
Kind Regards Winston,
Thank you so much for creating your site. I am a 35 year old white male, born and raised in the American South. Your site is on-the-money accurate. The male-female dynamic in America is in such horrible shape that I had already decided years ago that I would remain single forever, and since finding true love was #1 on my list, this was difficult for me to accept. I assumed that the broken dynamic existed everywhere, and when I found your website after searching the internet for answers, it opened my eyes, and I got excited to test out your claims on foreign women. A few months later I was on my way to the Philippines (March 2013) for a 2-week trip with my brother and co-worker. After 2 weeks they returned to America (and were already planning their return trips!), but I stayed for nearly 2 months! I loved it, and I met and fell in love with the most loving, beautiful woman I have ever met. I had talked to her through FilipinoCupid a couple times by email, and I flew to Bacolod to meet her. She was not materialistic, and had a real deep love and kindness about her, and she wasn\'t afraid to display her affection toward me. We are now engaged and she will get her visa in 1 month to come to America. At that time, I will return to the Philippines and ask her parents (in Digos City) for their blessing on our marriage. Eventually we want to move back to the Philippines, but right now I do not see a way to make enough money to survive well there, so I am still thinking on that one. I have some ideas, but they require saving up some money first. I am so happy that I found your site and the wealth of info on it! It gave me the hope that women were different in other countries, and the solution offered was true and practical. I have passed your site on to so many American men, and ALL of them have agreed with it 100% and want to go to the Philippines (and/or other countries) and check it out! Thanks again Winston. You are an inspiration to so many! Keep up the good work.
wow. I just moved to Thailand from the USA. I started thinking last night about why I didn't like America and did a google search about \"American egos\" and found this. It's absolutely spot on and the absolute truth. I was born in the USA but spent 3 of my developmental years in England...when I came back..I always felt like I just didn't quite fit in and never understood why. I never had trouble fitting in.. I was good at sports and am what girls consider \"cute\"..I even became and actor in Hollywood. But it just never felt right..and it was because I never felt comfortable with my own ego and hated competing with other egos. But sadly, you have no choice in America...you have to have a huge ego to survive, flourish and live a nice life of material success.
First off I would like the thank you for making this website. My friend
Brett found this site and told me to check it out. He and I are planning to
leave the U.S. by the end of this year and start our lives over traveling the
world. This is something we have dreamed about since we were 18 years old. Well
we both just turned 30 and we figure it\'s about time to get with it. These past
years we let jobs we hated, relationships that didn't last and us listening to
closed minded people keep us from doing it, but no longer. You and your team
has given us new hope on fulfilling our dream. It is very reassuring knowing
there are men out there like us. Men that are tried of the soul crushing
rejection, contempt, and straight up rudeness you get from American woman, and
it's not just the woman, it\'s all the other things that are going wrong with
this country. People say we are crazy for leaving everything here to go travel
the world but we think it's even crazier to stay here and work a job that we
hate, marry a spoiled ungrateful woman, that will probably end up cheating on
you and or leave you whenever she thinks she found someone better than you,
then have to move out of a house that you paid for while she moves her new
lover in. I've seen this happen to guys I've known and find myself lucky it
hasn't happened to me. But for some reason people here look at me and Brett
like we are the crazy ones but staying here and going through all that is sane.
Brett and I have had problems with our confidence and self worth for the last
few years due to all the things like what you and your team talk about here,
but by read your's and other's testimonies. It has given us new found
confidence. We had to realize that "hey, we are to both alright looking,
hard working, smart, romantic, decent guys and if no one here can see that,
well that's their problem. There are people outside this country who will."
We are not sure what we are going to do for work once the time for us to work
comes around, but I'm sure we will think
of something and hey that's part of the adventure right, but any advice or tips on finding jobs you could throw our way would be greatly appreciated. Well again I just wanted tell you a little about us and most of all thank you. This has meant a great deal to us. Good luck in your travels.
I was born in the former Soviet Union and my parents moved to the USA when I was 2. I was lucky that Russian was spoken at home when I was growing up and I now speak it fluently. I am a good hearted, intelligent, reliable and entertaining man. And believe it or not, good looking. I have had hell with American girls/women my entire life. When I was 26, in 2002 I went to Isreal for a month. I met an 18 year old Russian speaking girl who treated me like a god. She was beautiful, smart and sweet. She took 3 buses to and from my hotel every night just to be with me as she lived with her mother. It was a short but amazing romance. I sadly I was not in the best emotional shape to take it in at that time. I left back to the US and got involved with an amazing American girl. We got married, helped each other though some problems... both grew up. We got divorced but we remained friends and are still friends to this day. I have been single and trying to date for over 5 years! I am 36 now. ZERO ZERO ZERO ZERO luck! I joined www.russiancupid.com In a few months I had over 2000 women respond to me and I selected the best based not just on looks but also prsonality. I skype with them in Russian and I am now going to Belarus and Russia to meet some of them. These women are amazing. They treat me like gold. I deserve it... I treat them well in return. EVERYTHING on your website is true and i know so from personal experience. Thank you for the site!
Just wanted to say that your website echoes so much of what I went through in my youth. I was well on my way towards becoming mentally ill in my teenage years - always feeling completely isolated and meaningless. Your words and story spoke directly to me and made me feel like I was looking in the mirror and I just wanted to say THANK YOU so much for reassuring me of my sanity!
I first traveled overseas to Sweden when I was 21 and met an incredible woman that ended up coming back to the states to live with me! Now, at the age of 27 and single again, I am planning to fulfill my longtime yearning of seeing Eastern Europe (hopefully this August)!
Like you, much of my reactions to our degrading society and culture were out of contempt and utter disgust, and I was sure it was because I was the problem, not everyone or everything around me.. Traveling re-awakened me; meeting women who were polite, interesting, intellectual, and beautiful did wonders for my self confidence. But even better, it gave me that oh-so-important perspective on the society/culture from which we come from. Now my only struggle is with the knowledge that I'm one of the few normal ones swimming in the sea of insanity!
Thanks again for your awesome website and wonderful words!
I discovered your blog today - Happier abroad and every word is gold - I felt like someone had download whole sections of my mind and crystallised them on paper - I felt such a tremendous feeling of validation reading your post. Thank you for writing the truth - it is such a reflief to your stuff and feel like I can stop beating myself for not fitting in and trying to fit a square peg in a round hole - Thank you for giving me permission to feel what I feel.
I am on my way to Prague and Budapest next week.
I don't know where you are but if there is a chance to meet up for lunch or dinner somewhere that would be great.
I have seldom read laser-like honesty such as yours and the way I feel at the moment reading this is like a tube of pure oxygen has dropped out of the sky into my mouth and I am breathing it and can't get enough.
Well done and keep up the fine writing.
Just great !
Winston, first off allow me
to introduce myself, I'm 31 yrs old, single, no kids, haven't been in a
successful long-term relationship in 13 years but have dated many American
women. In that time, I have grown tired of them and their bitchiness,
wishy-washy attitude as well as their superficiality. I'm currently unemployed
but I do have money in the bank although it's not enough to travel. I've read
through a big percentage of everything on your happierabroad.com website
and I enjoyed everything I read and you are spot on about everything you said
and the points you clearly illustrated in your photo collage and powerpoints.
I've been dating american women and have gotten nothing out of it at all, after
countless failures to make a relationship work with an american woman I've
given up and that's when I turned my attention to foreign women who I have read
treat men better and love them more loyally then these american whores. I'm big
fan of your work and I want to follow in your footsteps, I've been thinking about
starting a penpal project with women from overseas and I think I will
definitely do it because american women have nothing to offer me and from what
I can tell, foreign women are old school and traditional which is a big plus
for me. I apologize if this seems sudden but I had to let you know that your
work is an inspiration to men like me everywhere, and we have someplace to go
to get quality women and get married abroad and we don't have to spend the rest
of eternity alone or worse yet lusting after women that don't even want us or
have anything to do with us. Keep up the good work.
Your new friend
I was doing some planning for my trip to the Phils tonight, and I thought about the inspiration you were for me to change my life and get out of a rut.
I'm leaving the states next month, and I'll never live there again long-term. Most of the idea originally came from your forum. I did a lot of research after that, but it all started with happierabroad and reading some of the old posts here.
I made some rude comments to you on the forum in the past, and I apologize for that. It was uncalled for and I regret it. If it wasn't for you and your site, I probably woudn't be going anywhere next month.
I do freelancing work now, and I make enough money online to live a modest life in the Phils. It took a lot of work to get the freelancing going and get things set up. I still have a ton of work to do and many long days ahead of me.
But I never would have thought about leaving the US if it wasn't for this forum.
I live in a pretty good place now: It's clean, the surrounding environment has little pollution, and it's pretty quiet. But I have no friends and no girl. I'm lonely, and I have no desire to date the local American girls.
Thanks for the help you gave me. I appreciate it Winston, and I hope things work out well for you and your business. Running a successful online business is damn hard, and you deserve a lot of credit for getting your site going. I hope you continue to grow the site and your income well into the future.
I wish you the best of luck with everything. I'm not much of a spiritual man, but sometimes I wonder if all the things that seem like coincidences are really coincidences. Why did I find your site when I most needed it? I guess I'll never know, but I'm glad it worked out the way it did.
Comments: I was in Makati for 5 days and met and talked to
many women and one in particular stuck out so I focused my attention on her and
we became romantically involved, even though the trip is long, it was well
worth the effort to see the caliber of petite pretty women compared to the
overweight women with attitude of the U.S. ....if most men would just take the
initiative and see what a difference a foreign woman would make they would be leaving
in droves, I was there on February 20th and enjoyed every minute of my visit,
believe me the women are Amazing....
Greetings form Seattle. I guess we are practically neighbors. I’m Shane and I bought your e-book bundle and am working my way through them. I’ve spend almost 26 years in the military and am getting ready to retire next year with the intention of spending at least 2 years on the road internationally and not really sure if I’m ever coming back. After growing up in Idaho as a typical conservative, I’ve developed European perspective after spending 4 years stationed in Germany in from 18-23. I’ve always felt much more comfortable and at home there than in the U.S., and a few years back when I was renting a room from a guy in Berlin, I was out with him and his friends when they told me “we know lots of Americans, even some who have lived in Berlin for several years, and you’re the first American we’ve met that we cannot detect any Americaness in”. To this day, I think I’m more proud of that comment than any other I’ve received. You wouldn’t expect someone with my background to feel that way, but in my experience of travelling to around 30 different countries, I realize how dysfunctional and off course this country has become.
Needless to say I agree with much of what you are saying in “Happier Abroad.” I don’t agree with you 100% on everything, but for the most part, you hit the nail on the head. The past couple of years I thought about the need of writing something similar, not about dating, but about dysfunctional America, and fact that our ethnocentric beliefs and inward focus will ultimately lead to our decline as a nation. I'm not sure if I'm qualified to write it, but that story need to be put out there. The current political climate in this country makes me want to puke every time I turn on our sorry excuse for news. What I say is considered unpatriotic, but has patriotism become drinking the cool-aide and living in denial while you watch your country decline? We really need to take an honest comparative look at what and how we are doing, what works and what does not both here and in other countries. God forbid a politician ever say that Europe does something better than us, and not regurgitate that we are the greatest nation in history blessed by God. If they did, their career would be over.
I studied Urban Planning in college and I really believe that we have built a lot of our dysfunction into our infrastructure. It is the most wasteful, inefficient, and isolating in the world. For example, Germany has one of the strongest economies in the world and stronger than ours at the moment, yet gas there currently costs about $10 a gallon. If gas went to that level here, we’d more than likely be plunged into a depression. It’s coming, but we keep sticking our heads in the sand. Studies have also shown that people moving from urban centers to the suburban living environment become more materialistic, suspicious of others, and self-centered. We’ve essentially privatized all of our public space, and allowed people to commute in their steel and glass cocoons with no contact with others other than the person they talk with when they go through the drive-thru. Ok, I could write volumes here, but I'll refrain for now, and climb off my soapbox, lol.
I’m about half way through Happier Abroad and I'm really looking forward to reading your other books as well. If i might add a little constructive criticism, you have a lot great material and I think if you were to do some editing, you would have an awesome book! At times it has been a little hard form me to read since some of the material is repeated and the flow of information could be more structured, but of course my ADHD does not help, lol. Regardless, I'm quite glad I decided to make the purchase.
I was happy to see that you are from the local area. Are you in the local area still or out traveling/living internationally right now? I live in downtown Seattle, and I’d love to meet up for a beer if you find yourself in town. Regardless, if you don’t mind I’d like to keep in contact and discuss the topics, both that I agree with you 100% on and some of those that I do not. I also plan in visiting your online forums as well. I think that the way you and I think is rare among Americans. Even here in liberal Seattle, if I am out to dinner with a bunch of people and I start speaking how I really feel, I get odd looks. I’ve thought about starting an “Aspiring Expats” Meetup to find like-minded individuals to share advice, resources, and inspiration. Thanks again for putting this information out there and I hope to hear from you soon!
Yes I was - thank you for asking. I also wanted to share a bit of the reaction I had after accidentally finding your site.
I read your 'happier abroad checklist', then looked at your photos and gallery of 'approachable faces' and I cried.
You see, I, myself am an immigrant - I came to america from the former soviet union when I was 9, and I never really fit in, in many of the ways you describe that you did not. I was always friendly, open, took interest in people, wanting to talk about meaningful things, etc, etc. I never got along with groups of people - people in groups always acted strange I though, very exclusive. I would always have a few friends (the weird ones) but those friends would often prefer the company and acceptance of their group to genuine interaction.
I spent a long time reminding myself that "It's not me, it's them", but I think over time I had started to forget. At some point I got into game and made some interesting and unpleasant discoveries - you can be friends with girls.. only if you seduce them. Otherwise, it's as if no one has any use or understanding what friendship means.
I've lived in NYC most of my life (though i've moved around just a bit), but it doesn't seem to be that much different regardless of the city. I'm currently in Boston, which seems to be a bit nicer.. but only because it has more college students that haven't been totally poisoned by american life.. yet.
For some reason, just as you said, I never thought things were different anywhere else. The though of leaving the country never even occurred to me - after all, everywhere but america is ruled by cannibalistic gestapo governments, right?
What's odd is that by most measures, I *should* be doing fine and living a 'full' life. I'm 30 years old, reasonable looking http://farm7.staticflickr.com/6132/5929975365_79ed6ed157_z.jpg , practice martial arts, own my own business, socially apt (this took practice) and am, more then anything else, someone who works very, very hard to be a good, descent, honorable human being.
The pickup artists say "become awesome, and people will be attracted to you".. but apparently you need to become awesome in a very specific way. I've gotten very good at making friends and connection and can get dates.. but still, it takes so much work and the people here.. they are wooden, stiff, and their eyes are empty. That is, unless they are foreigners. Then there is no effort required, things flow naturally and smoothly, just like you say, there is this feeling of real connection, like the person is present with you, and everything is great.
My best friend is French, two of my most enjoyable girlfriends have been Filipinas. Why then, has it never occurred to me to leave the country? Fear of the unknown and the subconsciously ingrained idea that this is the best of all possible places. The first one has to be fought on ones own.. but figuring out the second one, that I really have to thank you for.
So, I am planning my escape. I think I'll check out the Philippines first. Do you still live there?
Also, I'm a photographer - do you think I'd be able to put my skills to use there? If you are interested, you can check out my work at : http://www.sashavolk.com/
Winston (The LEGEND!),
Yes, you got that order exactly right. No problem for me to wait, just send me the discs when you can.
I'm in the process of reading your Russian journal and I think it's just incredible. Your great writing has made me live the whole experience vicariously. Seriously, I feel like I have now lived through the heavenly highs and hellish lows of being engaged to Katya and I need to see her now. I want to see that Yanis fuckhead who ripped me off and screwed my fiancee... I am going to kick his ass!
I consider myself a very well-read person and I have never encountered a writer who is so unflinching when it comes to putting his real self onto the page. You just put it all out there, your very best and worst traits, the crazy situations you get yourself into, without any type of "spin" whatsoever. I can't tell you how many times while reading your journal I am practically yelling out loud, "Winston, you idiot! Get out of there?", "Winston, how could you be so stupid?!" or "Good going, Winston, this one is going to work out!" This is basically the internal monologue that all of us have with ourselves, only you have the courage to put it into writing and create this amazing character named "Winston."
This really is the stuff of great writing and literature and I could see these journals condensed into a book. The subject matter will repulse all of the idiots, but those people who are willing to look beyond the political incorrectness will encounter a fascinating story full of laugh-out-loud moments.
P.S. I just moved back to my crappy hometown of Pittsburgh last December after living in Pattaya for seven years and making countless trips to Angeles City. I envy you!
Just came accross this website, i have to say you guys
are spot on, im still going through rich content and its amazing that site like
Im from easten europe livin in australia for the past 12 yrs, traveled the world Asia/south america so i agrree with everything except one thing:
“People work to LIVE! In Europe, Latin America and Australia, people live for experiences and adventure.”
I live in melbourne and i know what is dating scene like, its just another anglo country where men out number women, nobody talk to neighbours, etc...its really smaller version of america id say...its not uncomon when you go to clubs that guy or group of guys dont even make it into the venue as bouncers turn em down bc 'too many guys inside'...so you can imagine what ratio is inside...2 men to 1 on a very good nite...
women in 40s and 50s are common in night clubs and pubs and bars...
New Zeland is the same or even worse...
What you said about USA the same can be said abt australia and NZ...sydney and melbourne for sure...things r slightly better in tropical part...cairns/darwin n gold cost...but australia is not the place to date women...unless you are prepared to go for fat old n even that is not easy. Im decent lookin, so ive been told, 6.4..gym....many men go to phil+thai aand eastern europe to marry....i had couple of friends who did that....mixed results...once you bring em here thay soon realize its working society whereppl work n payin of mortgages all thei lives...on the weekend get drunk ....got no time to talk but let me just say this so u get a pic thats really happenin...in melbourne there abt 120 legal brothels and they say twice as many illegal....on fri and sat nite you literally ahve to q up to get a root in brothel..many times you just dont even get in...full house..lol...
im 30 yo..i do have a few friends that i do...but they r eiter older 40+or 30+ with kids.....
gettin average to hot chik say 6 7 8 9s is a real challange in OZ....trust me on that..ive been around the world....also not all sth america is that friendly.....i can talk abt it a lot..i will sign up n buy few books...you guys rock just take that Australia off that list as a good dating scene place.....forget abt crocodile dundee movie abt easy goin laid back, easy root(fuck).....no such a thing.....propaganda designed to deceive .....
Awesome website...Winston you rock mate, so clear and to the point... you are my hero... also guys here r into PUAs stuff… kinda tells you something...
I just want to say thanks!
I was just wondering if you had any information on how I could
actually find a decent partner in the philippines, or any non-Anglo country,
for that matter.
I also would like to let it be known what I think of you: I will put it this way- while I do not exactly worship you, I think you are doing a great thing and I have mad respect for you. If I try this out and by some cosmic fluke, it does not work for me, then I would not respect you any less than I do right now. However, if it does, you would be the man who changed my life, and I would be forever grateful to you (like owing my success with foreign women to you).
I must say that what you are doing is highly commendable. As soon as possible, I want to get the money to at least visit a foreign country, if not move there permanently. :) Personally, I am just flat-out sick of American Women; they have no morals!
Oh, and by the way, on your forum, I am known as The_Hero_of_Winds.
I rarely ever feel compelled to personally respond to articles, websites, or posts, but after spending a couple hours today reading about your life’s journey, I had to write to you. You hit home with me in an area that I’ve been praying about and dealing with for years! Your story resonates with me on every key level you discuss: your faith and spirituality, your height (I’m a shade under 5’6”), and the social and cultural differences between Americans (especially women), and other countries. The funny thing is that I never realized how prominent a man’s height is in the dating world until after my divorce in 2002. I honestly had no clue!
I grew up as an athletic guy, joined the Air Force, was a national level competitive body builder in the early-mid 90’s, and was able to date some very attractive women during this time. Although I got blown off by a ton of women, I never assumed it was due to my height. I’m in sales, so I always said its “all a numbers game,” and you have to get past the “no’s” to find the one “yes.” I persevered and still kept trying much like you did. Of course I would get blown off by 10 out of 12 women I might approach, or have an interest in. I had a very nice physique, which certainly didn’t hurt my efforts, but I was also a genuinely nice guy, well-educated (I have a Master’s Degree in Public Administration and Nonprofit Management), and have a great sense of humor (I’m usually the guy who keeps everyone laughing!) It’s interesting now that when I look back about 20 years ago, that even when I did manage to date some very attractive women, the relationships often did not last very long. Keep in mind I’m a big believer in first looking at yourself to analyze what you may be doing wrong, or how you might improve as a person. I know many negative minded people that always seek to blame others for their failures and shortcomings, when in reality there really is much they can do to improve upon themselves first.
I was married once, and when my wife decided to leave me after 3 ½ years back in 2002, I was older, and at a different place in my life. I’ve also worked from home for the past 10 years or, so, which makes dating and having a social life that much more difficult! I first learned that my height was really a key culprit in limiting my dating and social life once I ventured into the world of online dating in late 2002, after my divorce. Once I signed up and saw that the vast majority of women were only seeking to date guys who were 5’8 or 5’ 9, and taller, I finally realized how much a guy’s height really does limit his dating options! I mean don’t get me wrong; I’m a very humble guy. I don’t profess to be the best looking guy in the world, but I have blue eyes, a nice smile, and even at 43 years of age today, look much younger and have maintained a physique that is probably better than 90% of most guys walking around. I’m educated, have a strong faith, I’m pretty open-minded, can relate to and get along with most anyone, make a decent living, but yet despite all of this, the past few years have been some of the most difficult in my life. This is due in large part because I’ve invested so much time, energy and money in meeting a nice gal. You hit the nail on the head when you write about how nowadays guys have to have a strategy, game plan, and say and do exactly the right things just to have a shot at meeting a decent gal, let alone any chance of taking a relationship to the next level. I mean should it really be this difficult? Be yourself, be cordial, genuine and sincere....What the heck’s wrong with that? Of course as you know first hand, the pickings are already very slim for shorter guys, because we’re immediately eliminated from 75-80% of all available single women. I also cannot and will not date an overweight woman, because it’s the complete opposite of who I am as a person, my lifestyle, and the type of woman I’m attracted to physically. Over the years, I have found that the dating odds for shorter guys are improved some if you’re willing to date Hispanic, or African- American women, both of which I have done. That being said, I’m pretty open-minded about dating because there are beautiful women in every country and every culture.
The past couple of years I have given more thought to dating women outside of the U.S. In fact, despite my time in the Air Force, I had never done much international travel up until a few years ago, but still have only been to Canada , Mexico , the Dominican and Costa Rica . Costa Rican women are beautiful, but when I traveled there I only had a week, or so to spend on vacation. Europe and the Philippines both sound very appealing, but I was wondering if you had any advice on which countries might be best for me to visit with the following in mind: 1) English language is spoken (I believe that it is a primary language in the Philippines), 2) employment opportunities might be the greatest for an American, in case I want to extend my visit, and 3) the country is relatively safe for Americans to visit?
Any input, or feedback you have is greatly appreciated. Thank you so much for sharing your story, and I hope and pray you continue to experience a healthy, happy, positive and fulfilling life!
HELLO WINSTON! I watched your clips on youtube Three Taboo Truths in America and the Overseas Solution: Dating, Social, Mental Health and all I can say is you said everything that I have felt and thought. The things you said just made me shout with joy. FINALLY, someone else feels the same way. You know what Winston I'm a traveler and from experience women are more approachable and friendlier. For example, the Dominican Republic and Mexico to name a couple. So moving on. I just have to say you hit it on the nail with everything you said. You thoughts and feelings mirror mine my friend. We're in the same boat. If possible, I would like to talk some time if that's possible. Just to discuss some things. If you have Skype my screen name is ********. Hope we can chat soon.
Hope that you are keeping well. I was led to your website via HenryMakow.com, as I'm a regular subscriber of his. I just want to say that I'm an attractive mixed raced Englishwoman, who is in agreement with what you write about. I am very much in my innate feminine energy, and I coach women to reclaim their innate feminine energies.
I agree that American women have lost touch with their femininity, and that some have realised that Women's Lib did a great disservice, not just to them, but to men as well. Some British women have lost their way. HOwever, there is good news on the horizon Winston. There is a growing anti-womens lib backlash by feminine women like me. I myself love the way Frenchwomen are so in touch with their feminine energies, and American women have a lot to learn from them! My Australian friend, Renee has a wonderful blog called www.thefemininewoman.com, which shows women how to be at one with their feminine, sensual natures. I have a wonderful man who loves and appreciates my femininity. So, all is not lost Winston. By the way, have you checked out French, Italian, Spanish as they are also very feminine women, and those countries have great architecture, culture and excellent cuisine? Those women are also slim, elegant and stylish. Just to let you know, that there are Western women on your side, and you know what Winston? I would like to see half of the single male dating population 20% of the 45% single men, go abroad and return to the USA with gorgeous, foreign brides. That would make American women sit up, and come to terms with themselves and their bad behaviours. Take care and carry on with your good work. Sharon
Hello Winston, I wanted to thank
you for posting your story. It was quite heart warming & bittersweet. Some
ten years, I'd come to a similar conclusion, regarding American women.
I'd watched my own sister grow from an ordinary loud mouth adolescent to someone with full blown histrionic personality disorder. It's sad to have lost her, as a friend, growing up. She's married today and her husband is the most p*sswhipped, docile slave I'd ever seen. She also doubled in physical weight. Before, she looked almost like a budding model but now, she's barely recognizable. I'd hate to see her after menopause.
Anyways, as for me, my life changed when I'd stopped seeking women, who were sociopathic and looking for someone to boss around. And yes, I'd been through the tall tales about "Yankee" women being *spiritual*, into Buddhistic or Shamanistic practices, socially enlightened ala Gertrude Stein or Marie Curie, and all kinds of northeast USA cultural claptrap phoniness of the pseudo-elite private colleges. In retrospect, it's nauseating. And believe me, none of 'em published a book worth reading. BTW, this is what's passed off as the creme de la creme of modern American culture esp between cities like NYC, Boston, & DC.
I then traveled to Brazil, Singapore, Australia, Thailand, Korea, & Japan, mostly for business, but also for vacations and exploration. I haven't looked back. Many fellows thought I was paranoid about American women but today, none of those fellows are saying it anymore since half of them are divorced and constantly be threatened by lawsuits from their ex-wives or ex-girlfriends. This is now an out-in-the-open but hushed secret among American guys who have overseas projects.
When David Levy wrote that humans and robots will be dating in the future, little did he realize that that America would be the love robot's greatest market.
Okay so i have read all the way
through the book happier abroad. and i have to say that was one good D*** read.
it was very very hard to find any flaws on the information on american society and american women in general
it is just super duper accurate i would have to say 98 % accurate. probably 100 %.
he hit the nail on the head about the women in america being unapproachable, anti-social, unfriendly male hating bitches. for real.
How the american culture is a giant farm designed to hurd animals ( sheep people ) and we are all just here to consume, go to work
have sex go to sleep and repeat the cycle.
he is like my mentor right now. foreign women it is just sooo much better to meet them, they are easy-going, date them and have
i love seeing that rump roast jiggle while i ride that d*** thing.
the clubs are more livilier too over there in other countries too. just like he said. if you go to youtube and watch
italians dancing in nightclubs you will see what i mean. compare foreign nightclubs to america's.....
for instance...i only went twice to american nightclubs. The women there are very mean and cold and take you for
your money to give them drinks. they leave you on the dance floor right there in the middle of the song. and tell
you " i am done". they never socialize with me. they are all there to tease guys with their body and say no to you when you approach
them just for pleasure. you will see groups of girls talking to each other and rejecting every guy that comes up to them.
half the room is not dancing or socializing with the opposite sex. its really sad. the guys can't do anything. so i completely stopped
going. it is just a horrible experience there.
foreign nightclubs you will always see people dancing and EVERYONE IS socializing or dancing with an opposite sex. its sooo much
more livilier. People actually go to meet new people. its easy to get new friends and even dates there in these other countries
so all in all winston WAS RIGHT WITH EVERYTHING. THANK YOU SO MUCH WINSTON. truly inspirational stuff.
Dear Winston Wu,
You sir are great, I came across your website and it hit the nail on the forehead for me. I was in the Army for four years, and after I got out I thought "Hey, maybe now my date life will improve". Yes, I have grown up and grown alot-unfortunately where I grew up is still exactly the same as how I left it (orange county, ca). Yes, there are some good people here, and some of the girls are kind of nice. Yet, my date life is zero to non existant. The funny thing is that I feel that I am a really social person, that I am naturally charming and natural with most people. However, as you have written dating in
my previous message, wasn't sufficient enough to describe
what I felt. Thanks for this book man, I will guard it with my life.
Thanks for your book man, I've read it and I'm already just... so at awed, you speak of relationships, and the true failures of American Society. Which has made me come to the conclusion that we need to fight FOR America, I mean,
I'm definitely going to take your essays, and books with me, I'm going to read it 5x so I have it memorized, you speak the truth. You aren't afraid to tell it, I'm not, but I didn't know what the truth was. You've shown me that truth, with that one article I read a month ago. It's opened my eyes, sure The Zeitgeist Movement and The Venus Project describe how people become themselves. Well, your article hits the next level, what is wrong with society, and well you've provided many many solutions. Some you probably haven't even thought of.
Well, I've come to the conclusion, that I need to help "save"
I came across your site today and I have to agree with all that you say.
I am a 26 yr old White South African woman married to an American man. I have been in
I will give you my perspective as a non-western woman.
The first thing I found was the jealousy and competition among everybody. Every time I go out I get dirty, mean looks from other women/girls - and my husband has noticed that.
Women are so jealous of each other - and the jealousy is even among the men!
American women are very feminist. They are very masculine and loud, and refer to me as a "girly-girl" instead of seeing that a they should also be "girly-girls"
I get tired of being told that I need to gain weight, when it is they who need to lose weight, but of course it is not "ok" to say so - yet it is "ok" for them to critisize me for being thin.
They are very anti-men and don't understand that men and women have different roles.
I am amazed to find that women go out in their pajamas! I won't even check my mail-box in my pajamas let alone go shopping in them!
Americans constantly ask me silly questions such as "So, if you are from
And "So do you have lions roaming around?"
"So - you have computers over there?"
They also seem to find it difficult to understand any accent other than their own.
Before coming to
They have no concept of what goes on in the rest of the world and nor do they have any interest.
They are very insecure people who think that if they own enough it will somehow make them a success.
I did not expect
Thank you Winston, I am glad that you have discovered how much better foreign women are, and I wish you all the happiness in the world.
thank you for your prompt reply; I don't know where do you find time to do the site maintenance and the correspondence:-) Yes, if you think it is best to put my observation/opinion on your Forum and on the Website, that is OK. I wrote basically on an impulse, I never write to a public space as am very private. But what got me in your site that it is very deep; it looks at a problem of insanity (again, stated by those who are from abroad, or Americans who tasted life/cultures abroad; Americans themselves are in a delirious oblivion about themselves and their "culture") of Americans, their life style and "culture" at every angle, in depth, diagnosing the insanity, looking at the possible causes of it, and offering suggestions to cure. It was by far the most comprehensive and cumulative work I've ever encountered on the subject. Big thanks to you for that, for devoting your life to this cancerous world's problem. At first I thought that emphasis on dating is a bit shallow and might repel some thinking, deep people, but the more I looked at it, I came to think that it might just do the opposite...tell the guy/person who is love/sex/normalcy starved in this country, dying inside and craving for life and love that he should go read some philosophy he'd send you on a familiar route...however, if the same love/sex/normalcy starved individual is told he should look at this site to find love, he'd go, but later, he'll maybe look at philosophical, spiritual pages, and, hopefully, will be on the road to enlightenment. So, it might actually work to attract more readers who otherwise wouldn't bother to look. )
But the site on the whole is very profound. I believe you should collage all the material and publish it, public just needs to know all that.
I could write volumes on the subject of
II. About your adviser and just HOW (in his opinion - is he a male?) Russian women (and rest of Slavic for that matter) are HAPPY here...ooofff, what a British Encyclopedia we could just write. You know, your site for for guys (as primary, level 1st target audience), and you speak form guys' experiences...well, we could just say the same of American men, just the same...we cannot find happiness with them...they are too shallow, ignorant, controlling, empty, materialistic, and all within the lines. Slavic women suffer in their relationship with American guys. I have Serbian, Polish, Bulgarian (girl)friends, and it is like we all say just the same things, and have same emotions in our American circumstances. To put it short, it is like having this creature (in a female form), that is so alive, and spirited, and lovely, and smart, and with common sense, and with good taste, culture, education, etc., and here is her American guy...did you read J. Fowles novel, the "Collector"? Well, if you did, that's the picture, nothing more to add to this. It's a murder, slow, painful, and torturous murder, a crucifixion of a creature in a Slavic human form. There were times when I almost died from depression (I read thru
...attraction...all Slavic women are beautiful...but...what to say...? you know, from my experience, the men who looked at me, or payed attn to me here (in a "normal", European way), are Europeans themselves!!!! American guys just don't see it! ( I have access to European community here, and so, that is where I find normal men!)..they are not Americans!! I maybe got attn 2 or 3 - not more, times from American guys..agn, what do you define attention..? a glassy look? Or an intelligent interest? well, glassy looks I got, and maybe desire to sleep, but those 2 or 3 American guys were again studying languages and so a bit more animated than "normal" American guys. I am not really sure yet...it looks like American guys/ppl are so dead inside they are incapable of discerning beauty, because only spirit can do that. I stopped dressing well here, make-up, etc....it takes so much effort and imagination, and they are not even able to discern the beautiful things in front of their eyes...
I have few friends here, Russian, other Slavic. We gather together sometime, for tea, pies, etc...every time inevitable the conversation turns to "imbeciles" (our term for Americans)...we give resolutions to stop it, to try to be happy, and it doesn;t work, because every time you go out, to a job, to a grocery store, simply driving in traffic here you here stressed and have to deal with imbeciles in every corner. So, depression, depression, depression for Rus women. So, in terms of attention - they are not capable to give real, intelligent, with good sense of humor and sensitivity, attention. I stopped having anything to do with American guys, period. I am going thru a divorce now, and my soon to be ex-husband is a cult member also (Christian, conservative), and I suffered unimaginable shallow mindedness, control, imbecility, and total, killing lack of spirit. The more religious a person is, the less spiritual he is, that is it.
Let me see where I found a link for your site...let me check my bookmarks...I believe it was this one: http://www.culturechange.org/cms/index.php no..?
I have to go now from work, and will write more later on, thanks for reply, and again, for tremendous work on enlightening crowds on the "American" issues. Tatiana
I by chance (looking actually at a completely different forum) encountered your site, and decided I simply HAVE to add my story/point of view...have to say it is all within the lines of what I've read (how immigrants view America/Americans...
I moved here 13 years ago, never planned, but that man met me in my home city, and couldn't leave alone for 2 years, which eventually ended up in marriage (me being very young, unaware of life, without life's wisdom)...we first lived in Texas...boondocks. I ma from Russia, country of soul, of mystics, of rich inner world, of great culture, literature, etc....What striked me to the point of not possible to put in words there: IGNORANCE (enough was said in your page there. same things, ppl not knowing the map of the world, geography, their own culture not talking about other cultures...back in Russia I did not even KNOW such things, this level of ignorance, is possible in the world...
2. Fakeness...again, ppl are not real, all wear masks, all pretend, a huge fake hypocritical, cold, indifferent, spiritless world. I felt I was communicating with lunatics or imbeciles. In
Anyway, then arn 9 years ago we moved to
Coldness, indifference, hypocrisy, lack of refinement, of culture, of common sense, of spirituality, of compassion are the most horrible characteristics of this country and its ppl. I would agree also to call it "insane asylum". This inner emptiness drives them to horde malls on the weekends, to look for their "bargains" and "specials", and to pass by others of their own kind that are in need.
I feel it is a Devil's place, a Devil's Kingdom on Earth par excellence. This world sucks on the whole, but in other places of this dark planet there is some soul lives on, some Spirit dwells in people's hearts still, and that soothes the trials of our every day existence. Here, in the
Thank you for creating and bringing to the world your site, for the honesty and sincerity. Blessings
I have looked at your YouTube videos of your trips to
Let me add to your list of things that I feel of what ails Americans, and why so many of them are in this sad, depressed state they are in.
I feel that
The list could go on and on
infintum. However, what I realize now is this: if people are sold bullshit
bills of goods, and things don't turn out like they're supposed to, then people
go into a sort of neurosis where they either shut down, get anxiety, or a
combination of the two. It's for this reason that there are all sorts of drugs
out there (expensive, legal ones by prescription of course) that are designed
to totally numb us and make us continue going along with this matrix. I have,
however, noticed that marijuana and other natural psychedelic drugs do
quite the opposite. It's for this reason that the governments of the world --
Most prescription drugs keep those
people fed on high expectations from ever rebelling and hitting the
streets. These drugs anesthesize their pain enough to make them still want
to work, however, and continue life through this rigged matrix. However, if you
ask a person who is on, say, Prozac what they feel about corporate America, the dating scene, the social scene,
etc., they'll just say the same parroted crap that "life is what you make
it and you need to go the extra mile to earn a living in this world."
They'll also convince you that
Anyway, I now understand why it's so so inportant that I go overseas and get out of this rigged matrix. I am going to do everything in my power to make it happen this summer, or by early fall.
Talk to you soon Winston, and keep up the great work on your site.
I looked on your Topics page at AsianFanatics and alot or all of the things you said are rather true about society in general. I've seen so many people say those things all the time about "how to improve yourself" and "become more well liked". It's true that alot of people are superficial and act fake. Heck, it's all over AF, or at least by many of them. A few comments:
3) I don't believe in lowering my standards either. I try to be realistic and going any lower isn't good enough. I just
wouldn't be happy enough. If someone was way out of my standards ... how could I ever settle to marry the person or even
stay with them for long??? Even short term ... I don't want to waste my time. If I'm gonna date someone ... I want to
enjoy it. Some people are sort of unrealistic and expect to find someone "perfect" and if you're lucky enough ... great,
but until then, they shouldn't think about it so much. When you find someone easy to like ... just go with the flow
Reality is, not everyone is rich, looks hot or has it all. I don't even have an iPod, blackberry, a car or an active cell phone right now
4) You're right. No one should have to wait years just to find decent people. If so ... something must seriously be wrong
with society, and whereever you've been
5) Again I agree. If a person completely stops trying ... it's possible to get no results. I'm not a flirty person but if I
like a girl ... I at least notice her (not that it means every girl I look at ... I'm attracted to. I could look at anyone.
It depends ...). I don't think it's that people have to stop looking. It all depends where you are, when and around who.
6) That's a good point. No one is needy or desperate to begin with, or at least shouldn't be. Most people didn't start as
an ace. Some people naturally had what attracted their friends / gf from an early start while others learned more by
experience. There's no shame in learning from experience. I think it's normal for everyone to feel frustrated and go
through a negative phase if things haven't worked out well after a while. The key is to learn from it, become and remain
confident and positive again
7) yeah, money alone isn't always the only thing they want in a man
I'll be skeptical before I ever listen to any PUA advice. "PUA elites" ... yawn.
Too many player wannabes around ... and pick up lines are a joke. Seriously. Never tried 'em. Don't think I ever will
The only way pick up lines could ever work is if she's already attracted. Then she'll act on them even if she doesn't think
they're that good. Fact is ... if she likes you, the pick up line doesn't really matter
yeah too many guys don't want to get in the friend zone. There are those it's okay ... and those you want to stay out of
For a while now ... I've had some interest in learning about other cultures and also want to travel sometime. Since I
want to travel in the future I think it's important to learn more about other cultures and languages, and also more about
women and dating overseas.
So a big thank you for making your website and best of luck on promoting the movement
This site confirms what I realized about 20 years ago!
Well after reading
may posts here, I thought it was high time I joined and became a privileged
member of happier abroad!
I discovered this absolutely brilliant website by doing a predictive search google search about "american women vs european women".
I have a similar story to Winston's with a few differences. Instead of moving abroad to get girls, I started targeting the ever increasing foreign student population here, with great success. I gave up on white women almost 14 years ago when I had my last white girlfriend.
Winston I know exactly what you are talking about here. White Western girls are simply awful! They are spoiled little brats with almost no sense of culture, intelligence or kindness. My Dad was an Ambassador, so I was lucky enough to live both In Canada and in
I've had two Japanese GF's and 1 Indian one in the last 4 years, and they were all so much better than all my previous white western GF's put together! I started out doing online dating here about 4 years ago but after about 3 months of head games, idiots, losers, deadbeats and time wasters, I put a notice on a local language exchange site for Japanese ESL students here and had a response within 30 minutes. 2 dates later I had a cute little Japanese GF. All I did was talk to her in English for about 2 hours and bought here a hot chocolate and a donut! No comparison to the local girls!
Now I only date non-anglo-bitches! No exceptions!
I've got lots more to tell but had a suggestion first. How about an official Happier Abroad theme song? I nominate:
"Local Girls" by Graham Parker...listen to the chorus, very wise words sung by an American Male giving great advice on what to do with American Females
"don't bother with the local girls..."
Winston, you rock man! Ive always had trouble
expressing to my family and friends exactly the right words as to why I just
cant meet woman in the
I want to share the gospel with as many guys as I can, as there are so many here who suffer. Dude, most american woman suck ass. Like you said though, its not their fault. .
I fell in love with filipinas also. I knew filipinas were what I was looking for on first trip. I too was like "WOW" , Ive been to angeles city 6 times now. Ive had 3 filipina fiances, but I had really unbelievable bad luck, the first two backed out on me, but I think its cause they were only 19 yrs old, they got scared at the last second.
Yea man, every guy freind I know good looking and not so good looking have the same complaints as you and I about the way woman are here in the states. And I agree, americans are a arrogant bunch, and what makes many of them especially bad is that they are arrogant and ignorant at the same time.
Seriously, it could have been me who wrote your website, LOL. I see myself in your writings. Even though most woman in the states find me attractive, I still get rude responses just trying to be sociable.
Anyways, you're writings are gospel and so many
guys in the
Hi Winston. I really enjoyed reading your ebook. For years and years I would
beat myself up inside over the fact that trying to talk to women was a total
nightmare. I have had a series of relationships. However It can be very hard to
communicate with women out in there public places. And if you are not part
of the right clique or circle of friends you are in a bad way. Even if
your a reasonably attractive and highly intelligent male. After
reading your ebook. It gave me a very detailed account of why things are the
way they are. If things at the time is not going right connecting with women
it,s not my fault. It,s not that I,m doing anything incorrect or I don,t have a
certain look. #1 it is very taboo to talk to women you don,t know.
It totally goes against the social mores in US society even in places
where it,s suppose to be appropriate to flirt with women. I also watched videos
on true forced loneliness. That guy Bill122460 is a f__king joke. Allot
of what Bill talks about in his videos. Sounds very paranoid psychotic
among other things. Plus I don,t think that feminism is totally at
fault. The reason it,s very difficult to talk to women. Is because
Hi! New member here, located in the
To make a long story longer, I was laid off
from my 6-figure IT job last fall and can't find a job to save my life. My wife
is pregnant with our first and we're seriously considering selling off the
house, cars, life and possessions we have here and heading backto
Wow. Winston. Is it really you? Lol....if so WELCOME TO THE FORUM MAN.
I've got to say this right out: everything you wrote is absolutely dead on, and furthermore, your site, happier abroad, which was linked up to nomarriage.com was INSTRUMENTAL in my choice to not give up on women entirely, but look overseas for women of quality. I've been on both sides of the fence that you talk about here; having gone through long periods of rejection by american women, followed by projecting the alpha bad boy image (unintentionally) they seem to eat up and got 'picked' left and right. But I can say this definitively: success and failure was all shit. People would constantly tell me "oh you just haven't found the right girl!!" Ha. Bullshit. Why is it every dumb bitch would take the alpha happy bachelor version of me, transform me to the beta, then resent their creation like a fucked up dr. frankenstein and then hop from one cock to the next? Over and over again. Nearly every relationship I've had with these animals has ended in infidelity on their part. After a 7 year meltdown in which the girl cheated on me with a 20 year old drunk (she and I are 32 LOL) I knew I was done. I'd long been a mysogynist and those dormant views came right back to the surface. This helped when my best friend recommended me to nomarriage.com, MGTOW, and HAPPIER ABROAD.
I was at a crossroads. I've been so damn happy as a bachelor I wasn't sure I wanted to get involved with any women at all....but then my best friend joined International Cupid when we were out of contact, met a brazillian hottie...and is now getting married this summer. I thought fuck it. What have I got to lose? Let's TRY. I'd always found asian women the most attractive in the world, so I thought let's zero in on them and see what happens. I read your site. I read your forum. I read testimonials of dudes who hooked up with hot asian (and other) types of women, and had seen the light. I did more and more research. Saw that AM to FW divorce rates are much lower. On and on.
After doing my homework I did Cupid too. And I'm happy as shit I did. I
met a fillipino english teacher living in
But I can attest Winston....everything you say above, and on your site is damn true. Damn true. In 7 days I have never been so happy with a woman in my entire life? Why? Because she is night and day unlike the shit here.
I've been telling my friends in real life that going foreign is UPGRADING. UPGRADING. See, if you get picked by a bitch here...chances are on the attractiveness scale, unless you are a serious alpha or moneybags....expect a 4-7 at best. Further, they PICK, the stupid man just settles...because when he is offered pussy, he just can't refuse...having no clue that he has better options, that he can UPGRADE. Getting laid here by these animals is drinking a slow acting poison. It's only a matter of time before your hormones will lead to emotional and financial devastation.
Overseas women are radically different than the shit here. I can tell this already. Hmm. See my forthcoming post on "The Trip".
But Winston, I cannot recomend your site enough. And the ebook. The ebook was great. I even owe you a thank you, I'd say. What I read on there helped me to decide: JUST GO. JUST DO IT. I'm 10,000 times happier because I did. Thank you for your wisdom. Feel free to use anything I write on here or my thread as a testimony.
I was about to give up on women entirely and just be a confirmed bachelor like one of my heroes CS Lewis. But WHY? God, there are women of quality out there. Quality. I HAVE one now. And I saw A LOT MORE. Go abroad, gentlemen, you will indeed be happier...I know I am.
I wrote a post some months ago to your forums that you appreciated. http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?p=17842
I would love to meet you in person. You are a big inspiration and I'd love to find our first hand how you interact socially in a foreign nation and maybe learn a thing or two from you. Are you still in the
As of today, I have still not been outside the
A few questions:
My first counties to check out are
1) Can you share your thoughts on these countries?
I read good things about your "second tier" list.
Brazil, Argentina, Peru, Ukraine, Poland, Russia...
are there any other nations
you would add to this list? What about
There are two other questions:
2) I do not party and do not care for clubs, bars or alcohol at all and this is in fact one of the leading reasons it is hard for me to connect with women in the US, where social lubricant is practically a necessity. Do I need to do that to meet women and friends easily in these so called second tier nations? Can you tell me in which nations is this least necessary? I want to be able to meet women easily right out in public, not have to go to bars and drink.
3) I speak only
English and beginner Spanish, but I think I want to relocate to
Thanks and you are the man,
P.S.: I have just recently had yet another incredibly dysfunctional encounter with an American woman. She is very attractive and we have hooked up sexually many times, but when I try to deepen the relationship and tell her I like her and present the idea of being exclusive, she responds as if I had just attacked her or as if I have presented some sort of absurd or foreign idea that is incomprehensible to her. She said "Everybody sees things through a different universe" (!?!?!?!)
It is completely insane, and I agree entirely with your assessment of American relationships and American women - totally backwards and dysfunctional... it is like they do not need or want men, they do not want sincerity or commitment, do not nurture or care for their man or in any other way embrace a feminine role; a man is expected to cater to and meet her every expectation and held to account for every little way in which he fails at it, while she does not need to do any of the same and he is never allowed to expect likewise of her; and they seem to act like they want to be single forever - even when they meet a nice guy.
I would like to ask you a question regarding the behavior of (certain) Americans. I have found something peculiar about them which I cannot adequately explain.
When I was shopping for a road bike at a bicycle shop here in my city, an older gentleman assisted me in looking for the right size and brand of bike. He had helped me before when I had a mountain bike that constantly broke down due to wear and tear. For starters, he had that repressive, constipated look that a lot of American males over the age of thirty develop.
Well, to make a long story short and to the point, I spent quite some time with this older man, asking him questions about the specifications and so forth. I then found the right bike that I had been looking for, and purchased it that day.
When I had walked into the same shop a few days later, he acted like he had never seen me before, and he had that same cold, stone-faced look. Maybe he was a veteran of a previous
I've experienced this with many other Americans before, who are superficially kind and nice when meeting them, but a few days later they act like they have never seen or met the individual before. They mutate from kind and decent to cold and arrogant in a heartbeat.
What is your best explanation for this strange phenomenon? Or am I just being too sensitive? Yet, I hear complaints like this from other immigrants, usually those who have just moved to the country. I've become so self-conscious regarding this problem, hence I'm afraid to form any friendships with them, because as you know, they are not the kind of people who cherish close friendships either.
P.S. I am a Russian immigrant myself.
first of all, I agree with you in all what you said and published on the internet
about American girls.
I am international student in the
at least say hi to a girl in this country!
Man, American women suck!!!
and they are not that beautiful! russian and european girls are wayyy hotter and more beautiful!
my question is what do you recommend for me? should I travel abroad to date a gril or should I just sign in one of these Russian dating website? even most of these websites are reliable!
thank you again for what you accomplished so far and keep up please.
Hello and Thank You Winston!
stumbled across your website while doing some research for my upcoming trip to
On to lighter matters...I have quit my job, saved money for travel, cut my ties, and I'm getting the fuck out, at least for awhile Right now I'm just going to
Winston, You are the type of person that sees/feels something wrong and does something about it. Respect!
I just read your story in "about me". I really enjoyed it! I'm a young woman from
What you wrote is mostly what I thought American guys must feel... As soon as I acclimated and learned the language (when I moved i went to middle school), I started seeing the tremendous differences between
At first, the only people nice to me were black girls. And in
Anyway, i don't wanna get into the details too much, I'm not sure if you will get this email.
My point i that i felt that most people here were "under a fog" with a few heads sticking out. Those that stuck out were really different, more intelligent, open minded... it's hard to describe, but they seemed more "russian" or whatever. More present.
So i definitely felt what you are describing, but the other way around (i came from a country of openness and connections to this country). so anyway, thank you for describing your experiences in such intimate details, not everyone could've done that.
In russia/ukraine, men and women are treated by their actions, thoughts, how interesting they are, if they are good at parties, etc... not just looks and stigma. Women want guys like you, guys who really want a relationship and treat their girlfriends/wives with love and attention (unlike many russian men, spoiled by attractive women all around, many are cold and distant as husbands, and expect their wives to slave away in the kitchen). You appreciate beauty and what you've got. that's what men are supposed to be like. always wanting their wife, happy to walk around with her.. etc.
although i have some feminist tendencies (probably a rebellion to how I was brought up, my beautiful mom working at work , with children and in the kitchen, and my dad only working and expecting mom to take care of everything).
but I do agree with your view of "that's how women should be". Even by nature, they are supposed to need men, be vulnerable... it's great to be strong in many fields of life.. but in the man-woman relationship the man should be the strong one.
Anyway, write me back if you want to chat, I have to go back to work.
thanks again, your website was very informative, open and true to life.
How are you? My name is (Anoymous) and
I'm 26 years old. And I can COMPLETELY understand
what you at one point in your life went through, as I was
reading you general Loneliness through the years overly long
essay (which, by the way, takes a talented writer to
elaborate on, as well as balls to admit to). I've also
seen your YouTube page, and as someone who has been
interested in International Dating in the years to come with
an agency because I honestly don't like my land that
much anymore, I was very moved by your story.
There is so much that I want to agree with and to
elaborate on as I sit here on my new laptop (a fine acer
with a 17.5" screen) that I got as a pre-27th birthday
gift a few days before my January the 28th b-day. I'm
also incredibly lonely, but I am doing things to remedy
this and I promise you within the next year and a half I
shall turn it all around; just you watch planet Earth. ;-)
I must agree that from the look of the overrated
models, actresses and adult film stars in the English
language, Anglophonic world (such as here in the U.S., most
of Canada and Australia & New Zealand), I feel we are
often trapped because of the predominant bloodline of most
of our women, and mostly being of Scottish descent (which
Celtic is a lot
like Anglo despite what anyone says) and
traveling to my ancestors homeland of the
of '07, I can see why we're so messed up as a
collective whole here in
don't hope that offends anyone.
My parents have always been in the motel
management business, and as a result, I've moved all
honestly never liked where I came from. And indeed, the
women are absolute shit. Only people who've never
traveled like it here, for the most part. I've been
depressed on & off with some self-esteem issues most of
my life. And it's fine, and nothin' at all I can't
fix as of now, and thankfully have been fixing. Recently as
of two months ago, as a life long French culture lover (as
well as Russian culture), I was in
didn't like all the foods to be quite honest (ha, I am
afraid I am
somewhat more attracted to more North American
store bought foods and of course, our cultural
imperialism--but what are ya gonna do?), but I also
didn't wanna leave. For a little over 80% of the time,
mainland European women were SO gorgeous, and if you as an
English speaker actually made an
attempt to speak the language, then there is no telling
how many women you can meet.
That plus, I'm also in agreeance: Sadly, the
here IS a rather bland and dullard & boring place to
live. I've been a big movie lover my whole life, and I
LOVE collecting films, and playing some video games about
twice a month as well. But our North
American "culture" (yeah, I know...) is in
such of people spending hours on pointless "social
networking sites" (which is increasingly odd--after
hour, your not REALLY socially interacting with anyone in
the same room, now are you?) and with technology
running-away with itself and with others overall acting even
more anti-social then me, that over all, I feel we've
already failed as a country. And I'm extremely sorry if
it sounds mean, but I agree: I gave up being happy to live in
this country of shitheads and morons an incredibly LONG time
Frankly, it's so overall boring and lifeless here,
that I'm surprised there are any return visitors at all.
And might this Caucasian also add that I'm sorry that
you've had social persuasion during your life. It's
odd that since your family settled in the West Coast that
you would have had to encountered that in my eyes; really.
Because I grew up in a fine for what it is southern
suburbanite city of west
and racially it wasn't that bad. And I've honestly
pretty much always thought of
ghetto parts--as pretty much being of a whole other country.
So on behave of those ignorant assholes, I am personally
deeply sorry for the troubles of your youth. However, that
was quite some time ago, and I hope you have learned to let
go a bit of the past so it doesn't swallow you whole.
But you are a fine & highly intelligent and sensitive
gentleman from your writing, and can obviously see that you
are not like that at all.
But indeed, I'm glad to read from the highlighted
reader responses from those you've met over the years,
like me on the IMDB boards or YouTube, that others have
woke-up. Quite honestly, it's hard to live over here in
our economy and in these boring times. Must say that
I've don't care for it either as well, but in the
coming years, this faithful reader shall most DEFINATELY be
International Dating. ;) There's no two ways about
it. I'm not sure where our country went wrong,
of those who run it over the last four decades TRUELY should
be fucking ashamed of themselves. As someone who has decided
to become a multi-linguist, as I am currently learning
the Spanish & French languages, and hopefully with my
travels, I can meet a nice NON-American woman. Your
website gives me hope, as did recently going abroad again
one more time. And I pretty much agree 100% with everything
you put on YouTube and that you've wrote. I'm sorry
to some of my fellow Americans, but for the most part, we're
assholes over here in this country, and our women are
absolute shit. I've seen the overrated models,
actresses & adult film stars from other English speaking
countries, and I'm afraid if that's the best that
got, then it's also complete shit in other Anglo-Celtic
And might I add that I also agree with the poor people
who ex-pated here and were bored. Indeed, living here is
just way too expensive these days, and we have no culture,
just like all the other dullard colonies of new-Europe
(such as Aussie & Kiwi land, English speaking Canada
although parts of it are so lovely and breath-taking there,
etc). We are a society of suburbanite Bowlers, miniature
& pro-Golfers, and a sea of cheap-o motels,
laundrymats' and depressing adult book stores and
Casinos. And of course, an entire fuck-load of gas station
convenience stores. George Carlin (may he RIP) on his
next-to-last HBO stand-up special was right: It's pretty
much just one big trans-continental cesspool now. Years ago
he was so right about our future.
So you have my sympathies, as I'm mostly attracted
to French accents and others that aren't found really
all that well in the America's (and I've afraid our
closest allies of the Commonwealth nations don't really
do much for me, or I would have moved to Orlando or Vegas where
the all mostly go on their holidays here in the U.S. and would have
married one) and as a result, I've been depressed
off & on, and have mostly only talked to women online
and been on a few dates here. To tell ya the truth, and
I've never told anyone this, most American women,
including many in my own family, make my head spin.
They just do. And I don't want therapy over it
or anything, but I'm just sick of them. I'm
sorry but it's the truth.
racial differences or geographical ones some might think me and you would have,
I can tell that if we had grown up down the block from one
another, we would have been fast friends for life. And here is an imaginary toast to all of the American-ized shit that we have to put up with here. Take care, Winston,
Admittedly, I am not a big fan of everything that Winston Wu says and does, but I do believe there is a lot of truth in his ideas. My story is similar to his. I grew up being told that I was a freak, a weirdo, a homosexual, and a moron. I couldn't understand what I was doing wrong - I was smart, caring, insightful, hardworking, ambitious, and prosocial. I couldn't understand why some people believed in all the drama that came from living an antisocial life.
I was punched, pushed into urinals, and worse. I became convinced there was something wrong with me...I even seriously considered suicide when I was in grade 11. That was in 1999, when the Columbine School Shootings happened, and I identified with Eric Harris and Dylon Klebolt.
It wasn't until high school was done and that I got into the real world that I realized that really, there isn't anything wrong with me. In fact, some people looked up to me.
More importantly, I discovered Filipinas. Well, Filipinas discovered me. What a change it was being told that I was hunk. After years of being humiliated in school, I finally found myself being adored by Filipinas !!! Not just loved - lusted after. I could be sweet, and would get love back. Gone were the days of being punched for being a prosocial person. Western high schools reward mentally ill idiots who while ignoring prosocial go-getters who will actually make a difference in this world.
My unhappiness became a distant memory...now I am loved, cared for, listened to.....Filipina girls respect my character. They respect the fact that I am not just lusting and gambling my life away. I got Filipina girls telling me I am so handsome. In fact, my Filipina girlfriend's friends all send her messags telling her that she is so lucky to have me, and one even asked whether it would be possible to marry my dad (she assumed my dad must be similar to me).
More than anything, I feel vindicated. I know that really, it isn't me. I am normal; it was the people around me who were mentally ill.
One could write an essay over one hundred pages long about the benefits of having a Filipina girlfriend. Most men appeciate the care, the devotion to family, as well as general sexiness of Filipinas as the main reasons for choosing one. Also, many of them have been severely hurt from a previous relationship with a Westernized lady, and are determined to find someone who will never hurt them again.
For me, the best thing about having a Filipina girlfriend is that I am able to show love, care, and affection and be accepted and loved in return. Growing up, I was constantly told that I need to "man up" and "be more aggressive." In Western culture, men are taught to get what they want by fighting for it. You need to stomp on someone else's head so they won't stomp on your head. I was told that I was not aggressive enough, and that I needed to be a jerk to women. Men told me that I needed to treat my girlfriend like she was a dog and make her beg for a treat. I needed to be the prize.
For a while I actually (regretably) believed that crap. But I quickly realized the nonsense for what it was. My heart changed, and then I met Mahal. I know I can be sweet and caring, and not have to worry about her treating me like a doormat. Westernized women often think that being nice means being weak. In Filipina culture, being nice is returned with kindness, and perhaps a bit of sex too.
When I am with Mahal, I feel like I can be
myself. I don't have to walk around all "macho" (whatever that is
supposed to mean). I can share my weaknesses, and we can laugh at each other in
a supporting way. I have finally realized that it really isn't me that is
wrong; for so long I had been with mentally ill people who viewed prosocial
people as a weakness. You can't blame a Palm Tree for not growing in
For the first time in my life, I have felt unconditional love and acceptance being with Mahal.
To be with someone who values me so much brings out the best in me. I want to be the best lover, the best husband, the best father, and the best servant in her church. I don't have to fear that my efforts will be replied with insult. I can serve her, cuddle her, listen to her, and support her, and not fear rejection. She is the best lady, so I want to be the best lover I possibly can be for her.
I wish all men still looking for their Filipina love lots of good luck !!!!
Subject: Wu...Winston Wu.. Stirred, but never shaken!
I first heard about you when talking on the phone with John Benneth about homeopathy, skeptics, and he mentioned your slugging it out with them. Googled you and found some of your enemies on-line, too. Went to your HappierAbroad site and you make me laugh, man. You're just trying to live the Cassanova life we all would if we could, I think! :-) The Devil's in you as a strayed Christian, indeed!! Then again, who am I to point out a man's sins?
I write to ask you a question which I already know the answer for, but to get you thinking some about it. As time goes by and all that kissing of strange women leaves you feeling empty inside -- wasted and depressed, but just masking it over in an actor's gig of enjoyment and marketing -- what if you somehow channeled all that interest into service of country?
You know what I'm getting at.
Who like to mingle, party, and have a sexy babe in each arm.
People like you who can take international businessmen on wife-seeking / wife-swapping tours.
Who can corrupt the souls of key politicians with those babes you keep.
A dangerous profession, indeed.
But, then someday you could write books, websites, and market yourself as
Winston Wu, the man who truly lived; A great patriot who knew how to
party just like Ben Franklin in France; As an old man regretful of his sins and intrigue, a repentant
Winston who returns to Christ again in shame....but a colorful life of a
great sinner gone great saint all the same. Some American arms delivered
abroad. Drugs imported. Russian babes in every port. Powerful
friends and mobsters in dark corners. Mixing and mingling with the
underworld and doing arms deals with Achmed while rendering key information
from the inside that
Wu....Winston Wu. Superagent
Extraordinaire. The King of Putang. Slayer of Arabian
Knights. Keeper of the Harems. International Man of
Mystery helping save the world from Dr. Evils and rabid sheiks! Gambling
with the hottest of chicks in
Just a thought from General Quack.
I hate to see a brilliant, once Christian life wasted on debauchery when, if adjusted a bit for God & Country, why you could be a legend. Why not be all that you can be, man?
Remember the saying? "Never entrust a sword to a man who won't dance." And you, my friend, where once a wallflower staring at his shoes, you dance with all the lovely ladies today! This is a great warrior in the making, I smell. A great novel not even yet written. Your parents and grandchildren would be proud. Your critics would be held at bay as mere chickenshits who never dared live the life you dared.
Just thinking maybe you might want to think
about adjusting your travels some and chasing putang in places like Mindinao
Warm regards and Happy New Year,
Hey Winston, my name is Mark and i live in northern nj. I love and appreciate your site. I agree with the vast majority of what you say on ALL topics. I'm 46 years old and a decent guy in all areas. I can't move out of the country as much as i would like to since it is not practical for me for several reasons. I won't bother with american women for the reasons we all know.
But i wanted to asked you about foreign born women living here and what you
think about them. Specifically several brick and mortor dating/matchmaking
services in the
Most of these services have good reputations. 2 of them are russian and eastern european women. 1 is for latin women from south and central american and the caribean. And several are asian women but only 2 are considered very good. Just wondering what you think and any advice you may have. I would greatly appreciate an email reply if you would please. Thank you Winston and Happy any Healthy New Year to you and your family.
I stumbled upon your website and learned a lot. You inspired me to get
am moving to
What are you up to now-a-days? It will be great to meet up or at least
chat on phone sometime to share experiences. I currently live in San
Hi Winston! First of all I want to thank you for your website, it is very refreshing and motivating and encouraging to me as an American who's dating life is virtually non-existant since my divorce in '06. I have a renewed vigor and focus thanks to you and your site.
I did want to bring to your attention, though, that a marriage agency sponsor you have on your home page, anastasiaweb.com, is a scam site that you can read about more here through this gentlemens site: www.agencyscams.com. Apparantly this is one of the more insidious sites in this business and I just wanted to bring it to your attention.
Secondly, if you have the time, what advice would you have for a guy like me who has two children (ages 7 and 5) who I am a dedicated father to, but who also wants to explore the greener pastures of the world's dating scene? As I see it, I really can only be away from my kids for a few weeks at a time at best, any ideas or do you perhaps know anybody in this same situation who made the best of it? I don't think I can be the only guy with these responsibilites who is looking for love abroad.
Thanks again for you hard work in putting up such good news for us American men to enjoy. I too was made very mentally ill for a long time from my devotion to evangelical Christianity so we are kindred spirits in this regard too. Even with that, I do wish all the richest blessings be upon you.
Thank you for answering my questions.
Yes, you may use my letter below on your website. No problem.
Also, another question -- why are
so many Americans scared of each other? I live here in the
Or maybe I'm just intimidating, for some reason?
The total lack of genuine human interest amongst them is what really irks me. Being completely enveloped in a shell, like you write in your many observations, and always in a hurry to get rid of me. They have developed a whole array of phrases to get people out of their lives. The easiest way for them to perform this maneuver is just to tell you, "Alright, have a nice day" or "Oh, ok!" or "It was nice meeting you." The killer is "I have to let you go." The person cannot respond in any way but to just nod his head and just leave, otherwise, he is perceived as a stalker or harasser. Almost never have they ever asked me about my origins or the meaning or root of my name, Dimitri, which is quite uncommon in the West.
On the subject of freedom, which Russians regard in a completely different dimension, dissident author and speaker Ward Churchill perfectly conveys my emotions when he writes:
"As things stand, persons
residing in the
Russians have the concept of volya,
which translates literally as "will". In essence, it is the
absence of the "overarching authority" of political correctness which
has developed to an advanced level in the
Also, one other question which I
desperately seek an answer -- why did I 'de-Americanize' so to speak? In
1999, I felt rather at home. Yet since, year after year, up through today
in 2009, I feel less and less American. Have you ever encountered this
phenomenon where immigrants suddenly have an urge to return to their native
lands after so many years here in the
Thank you for replying to my email.
It is sometimes difficult for me to articulate my thoughts into words regarding the way I feel about my situation. Usually, it's easier to explain it orally -- but here I'll try my best.
been living in the
The other problem I have is my projection of
also have some questions for you. Have you encountered the following in
the American character?
1. Cowardice -- from experience I have not noticed that Americans, especially the men, tend to only act "tough" or "macho" when in groups or in a "gang" -- they seem to gang up on others and overflow with confidence when in a group, acting alone they rarely utter a word. Could this also be related to the fact that they attack ONLY countries which have absolutely no means of defending themselves?
Also, on the subject of cowardice, I have noticed that if an American, also especially an American male, who holds pretenses about being someone's "friend" - almost never stands up or speaks up for his fellow "friend" - he just has this blank, empty look on his face. Often, they will try to act innocent and ignorant, and always claim they don't know. In theRussian culture, most men will stand up or speak up for their friends, even if the friend happens to be just an acquaintance. I truly admire that in the Russian character -- the manliness and courage of the Russian.
2. Denial -- also from experience I have noticed that if someone points out the obvious in another person, that person will instantly deny or repress this fact, usually for fear of losing his or her job. Also, an exchange between an American and myself:
What gives the
American: We're not occupying
This denial is very common, I think, in the American character. They will act inappropriately or in a juvenile, infantile manner and the very next day act like absolutely nothing occurred.
3. Political correctness to the point of benign totalitarianism. This one really takes the cake. From experience, working with Americans is sometimes like trying to swallow a dead rat. They are so politically correct about everything that it becomes tedious and painful to the soul. The society is so totalitarian in my opinion, that it probably borders on the insane. I have been reprimanded so many times on the job for saying things slightly one centimeter to the left or to the right (not in the political sense) of conventionality that I just have to bite my tongue and not say a damn word for fear of upsetting or angering them.
One example I can give you is from my job at a Marriott hotel.
I approached the manager at the front desk as I was ready to go on my lunch break and I asked her,
"I'm going to lunch now, do you need any help?" She replied, "No, I'm fine."
About twenty minutes later she approached me in total hysteria and scolded me for saying the word "lunch" at the front desk, because there was a customer in front of us!!! This is something that you might find only in an insane asylum.
I apologize for the length and breadth of this letter, but I think that if fully encapsulates my position regarding these freaks.
Love your website. Very informative and a breath of fresh air. I am Russian myself and your assessment of Americans and the American way of life is very accurate. Also, your understanding of the many negative aspects of the Russian character are also correct.
to the most recent statistics, the
I would appreciate your response.
3 years ago I discovered this site and thought 2 things...... Please read on and don't get hung up on number 2 below :)
1) It has a whole lot of content that I had already thought myself, even though I was very relationally inexperienced and had never been (still have never) outside of the US.
2) While it does indeed speak to true and real problems in the US society, I thought (and in some of these aspects, still think) it is also extremely and fundamentally biased, cynical, self-limiting, immature, negative, poorly presented and backed up with fallacies in logic, and does not at all focus on anything productive to addressing these problems in this society (abandoning it for greener pastures is making the social problem worse, not improving it). At that time, 3 years ago, I forgot all about it and moved on in pursuit of the American woman.
With fierce confidence, determination, and faith in myself, I set out to get into the experience of the American woman. This lead into a relationship, followed by cold-hearted rejection, followed by a repetition of this, and a number of other interactions with ladies which went nowhere fast... sort of like skipping the relationship and going right to rejection mode.
As a man in my
30's, with an athletic, muscular build, decent looks, many achievements,
focused on health, spiritually inclined, intuitive and in touch with my
feelings and inclined to treat women with respect and kindness, I can not at
all relate to the rather pitiful description of the self that I see described
here in some of the posts and articles.
In fact, one might imagine I should do well in the relationship world in
However, after 3 years in this cycle, I begin to see that I was wrong and you are right. If I am to be absolutely honest, I have to admit that relationships here have gone absolutely nowhere for me. I have spent 3/4 of the last 3 years single, companion-less, and sexless, and have been rejected more times than I care to count. I have given beyond what was probably reasonable and it was not enough. I have even challenged myself to respond with love and understanding as women suddenly did a 180 degree switch and coldly rejected me, looking at me like an alien when just a week before, I was the most "wonderful, perfect guy" for them. I have come to see that, with American women, it seems as if it is not worth the effort that it takes to get past the so called "number-close". I have had too admit that I am confused and clueless as to how to function with women in this social atmosphere.
I have come to the crude and difficult position of having to accept that the social scene, and especially the relationship scene, is extremely BLEAK at best here, in what seems like a VERY LONELY nation (saying that with no direct experience at all of other nations). An endless cycle of meaningless, non-committal dating experiments and breakups seems commonplace, and even that is not really an easy thing to get into - it takes a heck of a lot of pursuit and effort for a man to even get into that experience.
I find myself, a person who places a profound reverence on health and life, flirting with, or even what feels like pandering and fawning over women who are very attractive, but who abuse themselves with alcohol, tobacco, or use men like toilet paper, seem to want men who use them like toilet paper, or who seem totally disinterested in even talking with me, or who need alcohol to break their own social barriers... women who I should not even be wasting my time talking with at all, but should instead have compassion for as I let them down and tell them that I am not interested in them, and yet I can not even get a date with these women, much less a relationship! Not even with drunks and smokers!
It often feels like I simply lack the social technology to break down the barriers, inhibitions, and fears - it is like one needs some sort of advanced social skills and pick up skills... and needs to have that rock solid every day they are under the woman's scrutiny. However, I am just a human like anyone else - I have regular human issues and insecurities and in a relationship, I try to just figure it out as I go along and be authentic about my inner struggles and such... but this seems to not fly at all in this society, where the women seem to want a perfect man who has it all figured out and has the perfect social skills and perfect answer at all times. Being accepted for who you are is a virtually ridiculous fantasy from my experience.
So, I am coming to see that I would indeed like to try to see if my fantasy notion of a better life actually exists somewhere on the Earth. A place where the women are women, the men are men, and people actually want committed relationships, the women actually need men, the men actually need women, and no one is afraid to admit it, and no one needs to run master game or have the perfect personality, or the perfect looks for that matter.
Hence, I am writing to ask for recommendations of places to go...
A little about what I am interested in:
***1) Locations: A place where it is easy to stay for an extended time and the American dollar has a much greater buying power than their money (so France or Italy would be out, for example, but S. America, some Euro countries and SE Asia would be good). A place where I can live comfortably with no automobile on 1,000 USD per month.
especially interested in
I have read the
info I could find here about locations, but all I see is a lot of
recommendations in favor of the
2) Language: at least intermediate Eng
3) Looks: a voluptuous figure - it's all in the hips
4) Chemistry and compatibility are crucial: I have learned through experience that this can not be revealed through a computer screen, so I have no interest whatsoever in online communication with a woman for months before going to visit her only to find that she is beautiful but there is no chemistry. My way will be to travel there and meet women on the spot, so fire away with your suggestions for where to do this.
5) Outdoors activity - I want a woman who either goes on outdoors excursions with me or at least allows me to go mountaineering and such myself.
6) Health - no interest whatsoever in party girls, alcohol, drug scene, or fat, lazy, fast foodies. I want to be able to meet her in a healthy setting like a store or work or church or volunteer project and make an easy natural connection without alcohol, clubs, or parties. I can not stand these environments.
And what about
As for me, I am white, 30's, athletic build and have to many gifts to offer going to waste on unavailable American women.
Thrilled to get any feedback I can and sorry it took me so long to get my head out of my ass! Feel free to PM me, or post here.
if this is the wrong thread for these kind of questions, please refer me to the right one.
Subject: Excellent Observations
I came across your website while searching online for people who had made observations similar to mine.
I am a former American expat who has had to return to
Your description of sex life is especially accurate. In the states, I have sexual interactions at a much slower pace, and sometimes go long periods with no success at all. Furthermore, when I do "score," as Americans call it, it tends to be with much less attractive women than I had grown used to in
You are also exactly right in describing how attractive women in
One mystery I have been trying to understand, though, is why there are Europeans who willingly move to the states. Since I have been back, I have reached out to European expat communities here, so as to find more easy-going sociable people. However, Europeans that come to the states tend to be more conservative-minded, and often quickly fall into the plain, boring and unintelligent American norm. In
In describing these sentiments to a friend recently, he interjected: "This country was founded by religious fanatics and goat-fucking peasants from
The United States essentially plays the role of the giant shitting ground for all of the world's undesirables: rather than the poor, tired masses, it is the religious, greedy, rich, superficial, narrow-minded, prudish freaks that we most welcome in the Land of the (buy one, get one) Free.
Keep up the good work!
dude your website rocks!
I'm a Chinese guy also, and living in the
I discovered what you now know about the reality of courting and dating American women some many years ago.
As a middle
aged guy, never married, I’m now in a serious relationship with a Hispanic
woman, very beautiful, in
Here in Arkansas, in the lower Midwest (midsouth), where I grew up, still today, (and I’m 45), rarely ever, do I ever get any beautiful women approaching me, either at a bar, in public, or anywhere that wishes to get to know me for simply being a guy. Unless I have a charade or dog and pony show, or act or mask to put on, to this very date, I’ve never had a woman approach me just to be nice and hint to me that she’s interested in getting to know me personally. I’ve never been aggressive or lowered myself to the level of lying to entrap and deceptively lure the opposite sex, simply because of loneliness and desperation. (Hence, I’m still single and don’t regret it.)
culture sends mixed messages, and has for years regarding our roles, both male
and female, and the social ritualistic nature, which has become tarnished and
clouded with apprehensiveness and indecisiveness regarding the haphazard
introductory social skills when meeting someone of the opposite sex.
The break down of masculine roles and norms has eroded the male into feminized males without spines. Women know they have power, and they show it when competing and playing the dating and courting realm. It’s all about power and control when playing the market and participating in the game. Ever notice the onslaught of popular top forty music lyrics? Hmmmm, guess how many continuous songs are sang about females having domination and power over their male counterparts, even in the introductory level in the poetry of the music.
No doubt WU, I eventually overcame the obstacle of datelessness a long time ago, simply by leaving our nations borders.
To this date, I, by myself, while often setting at a social bar drinking will explain this phenomenon to my fellow male patrons besides me, and still today, they don’t believe me, or think that it’s possible to be happy and meet a woman from another culture who actually likes you, simply because you’re an American guy. They’re so brainwashed and pessimistic, all because they’ve given up hope and settled; settled for taking no for answer and being turned down, like most modern day males.
other cultures have always told me this, “American act like and present
themselves with a confidence all because they have a since of entitlement and
are spoiled with the men who cave in and become submissive. American men are in
demand everywhere else in the world, except
Peace Wu- You Rock!
believe that banking institutions are more dangerous to our liberties than
standing armies. If the American people ever allow private banks to control the
issue of their currency, first by inflation, then by deflation, the banks and corporations
that will grow up around the banks will deprive the people of all property
until their children wake-up homeless on the continent their fathers
Thomas Jefferson 1802
And 206 years later, look where we are.
“Winston's blogs and photojournals are epic! I have a new internet hobby now: reading Winston's stories.
I'm moving to
I'm a 32-year old Canadian guy and I am actually fairly attractive (so
much for modesty) and educated and so on. I spent 2 years teaching English in
I'm a "nice guy". I don't let people walk all over me but I'm
not about to go out and hurt others, either. I've been back in
So, I'm giving up my well-paying job here and going back overseas and I
don't know if I'm ever coming back. If I can find someone to marry and raise a
family with, all the better. At the very least I'll be somewhere where people
aren't such a-holes. If
Winston is absolutely right from my experiences. I had to go somewhere and then come back to see the light, but I definitely see it.”
I left Europe when i was 14 to go to Texas and spend 5 years in america i also went to Georgia and New Jersey...the first time i arrived in america since i was 14 the first thing on my mind was to go chat up some beautiful american girls in the hopes of meeting some for the first time in my life...as some friends introduced me to some girls they knew , we started hanging ot a bit and talking etc...then when it was time to say goodbye and go our separate ways i kiss the girl on the chick since this is how we culturally say goodbye or greet each other in Europe...my friends rushed back to me and asked me "Why did you kiss he on the chick!!??? now she thinks you are in love with her !!! " i was surprised that we were not able to have such body contacts...but from that day i knew i wasn’t going to have as much fun...another thing that struck me the most is the social behaviors that hot white american girls have acting like they are better than guys buy trying to achieve ultimate independence driving cars at 16 yers old etc... what i also hated was when they ignore you when you wlk in the hallway even know they see you but act like you are not there...girls in america dont seem to be ok with letting you go out with them and always put you in what they call the "friend zone" which basically everybody in america is in or at least the majority of them...and america also has so many virgins , not to forget the 40 years old virgin movie they made in trying to give hope to american citizens...and what about that show called the pick up artist with that guru guy called Mystery....his clients look depressed...its just scary to live like that and it sure is not healthy ...humans need one another in america not only is it hard to have sex...but to americans romantic behaviors are considered either weak or weird or needy...you name it...and what baffles me the most is no one talks about it and when you bring it up you sound crazy or something...they are just hypocrites...i couldnt bare the nasty food they give at lunch compared to the food in Europe...and we have no room to breath at school for example not enough time to socially feel one another... back in Europe we have 2 breaks one of 15 or 60 minutes at 10.30 and lunch break of almost 2 hours so we can do activities etc...in america you have to stay stuck inside and just have one lunch then keep ignoring each other if you ever run into each other in the hallways....everything you say id true Winston i could go on....anyway, what pains me the most is that even tough i am back in europe i still find it hard to go up to a hot girl because of how the hot girls treated me in america ...but i recently found the courage back and it worked i am slowly getting better like i used to be before i went to america....keep up the good work Winston because its a disgrace what is happening in America right now...lol they even have this to catch a predator show because women are too hard to be with apparently....its such a sick country....we are definitely happier abroad....thanks alot Bro....CIAO....
I am reading your revised, updated book as of August 2009, and I must say that so far it's are real eye-opener.
I especially liked the topic about hippies, and how even hippies chicks are judgmental about looks.
Not too long ago, I was at an all-outdoor event where hippies and political progressives were championing the whole "legalize marijuana" issue. I had the chance to meet several hippie chicks, and you're right when you say that they too are discriminatory, as if guys like us don't have any sexual desires. I talked to plenty of these women and the only guys they seemed to be hooked up with or interested in were fellow low-life, tatooed hippies like themselves. Now don't get me wrong, I am not against the peaceful side of hippies. I too think that we need to be non-violent. But nevertheless, your points were greatly made about why men have to leave this country for love, romance, and sex rather than join some cult.
Also, what men who are suffereing this loneliness lifestyle fail to realize is that even hippies and church-going people still live in the brutal matrix that everyone else lives in. They are no more escaping it then every non-hippy and every non-religious person. And being that hippies and church people are living in this matrix, they too judge their fellow human beings by how much money they make, how popular they are, and how good-looking they are. There's no escaping it. Hippies are hippies because they need a pseudo cause to explain why they want to be poor, dumpy, and lay around smoking weed all the time. In all reality, hippies are actually mooches, and very rarely are they the types that will open their homes or shantys to someone and say "Come in, we'll feed you and give you a place to stay!" They are very narcissistic. The whole 1960s social experiment proves what idiots and phonies these people really are. They all morphed into the same characters in the 1983 movie The Big Chill, followed up by the late 80s series Thirtysomething. That's what hippies became; self-centered, selfish yuppies.
Anyways Winston, I don't want to get into a three page discussion on this subject. But I do want to say good job on your ebook. You are a brilliant orator and you are very good at articulating in succinct detail the plight of men today. Keep up the good work.
You are 100% right about european women and american women
It is so easy
to meet women in
If you are well traveled, well spoken and educated you will meet the nicest girls
I traveled all
I married a
beautiful girl from the
I wasted years
on carribean cruises, and should have gone to
I support your comparison 100%.
American women don't get it.
In my travels I
would say in
Russians, Latvian, Ukrainian are the nicests and sweetest.
My name is Kostas and I am from
That's all for now! Thanks for your time and don't give up. There are 200 countries out there, America IS NOT the whole world, unlike many of your countrymen believe. I think if more americans had the opportunity to travel more and see different countries and different lifestyles it would be a very pleasant cultural shock to them and they would start realizing that they should change a lot of things about their lives. That way
Yes, I was able
to view the photojournals. And I think you did a good job on the videos,
too. The two women were down-to-earth and approachable (which you were
aiming for), and I think you successfully conveyed these qualities. I also
viewed your other videos and I think you have good presentation skills. A
video I found particularly funny was the one in which you attempted
to greet strangers in
I did read some of the comments for some of the videos, and saw a lot of vitriol to go along with some praise. I interpreted the venom in these comments as jealosy and envy. Instead of these men appreciating the initiative you've taken to open doors for other men, they'd rather sit on their couches and attack. And the women are angry that they can no longer derive pleasure in rejecting people like you and me anymore as more men discover they can now have a great social/dating life overseas. Don't allow the bashing to stop you from continuing to spread a life-changing message for legions of men.
As for the quote, yes you can use it. In fact, you can use my real name - Jelani. I'm from NY.
I'm really impressed with the cultural knowledge of the posters on your forum. I was reading my thread last night that you linked, and I'm going to comment in it this morning about how I might have a hard time deciding which country to go to first!
Some countries that I was interested in were a discovery, and that's a good thing. I've always been fascinated, for example, with Romanian gymnasts and their grace and elegance. So to hear the country is receptive towards black men excites me.
When I travel, I really hope to gather additional informational and maybe be another cultural consultant for you from an African American's perspective!
I was looking at the pictures in your photojournal and book, and you're very right: you can literally see the difference between American/non-American in terms of openness and curiosity women in just their eyes. When I was looking at the non-American female pictures, I thought to myself that I could easily ask them out with confidence, whereas when I saw pictures of the American females, I felt just the opposite. It's not surprising that you can get bad vibes from American women just by seeing their picture!
Your book has exposed me to a paradigm shift with regard to dating. My collection of dating/seduction books is now merely a repository of rubbish.
Jelani from NY
really inspired by your website. I hope you can give me a word or two of
advice. I'm a white (Irish American) male,
21 years old, studying
computer science. I'm hoping to go tograd school abroad. The obvious choice for me would be
I wonder if
what I'm asking is, does your advice about traveling and making friends abroad apply to all countries besides the
Thanks for your time and your advice. I hope I get to go abroad like I plan and break out of this cargo cult I feel I'm trapped in.
Hello Im Jo`mell
All of that information on your site was literally stealing the words out of my mouth..I agree I agree with everything..Im actually planning a trip to russia and I know there are alot of beautiful girls and stuff, but i dont want to end up getting a scammer or even having a run in with skinheads over there...Tell me alittle where I should go for that and places to avoid theneo nazi skinheads and such! Thanks very much
Winston, you're absolutely right about foreign women vs American "women". Foreign women are far more cultured, intelligent, sociable and sophisticated than American women. I can honestly say that once you meet a foreign woman, you will never go back to an American woman again. You've mentioned this in your forum, but this trip abroad confirmed everything you said. You're absolutely right. Keep up the good work.
I am conner,, i have made several posts on your forums already.... go
ahead and read them and tell me what you think. My posts are very accurate..
Alcohol and ego are the two main problems here in the
I agree with everything you say. It made me realize just further how bad american women suck! I am british and german. im 6'2 220lbs,, all muscle..Im a fitness model. And even i am having a very tough time with the attitude of american women.....
There is something about the english language that turns women into
pigs and makes them have a bad ego...... And it also has to do with the fact
that they are basically living their whole lives in fear of everythign in
also with foregin language there is less ego.. there is something that the foreign language does to their brain patterns that makes them more wholesome looking and more feminine.... you can see it in their eyes , their face and their souls ....YOU WERE RIGHT ABOUT THAT! wow...
I am completely done with american women... I am now searching online for euro women.... mainly russian or hungarian or czech... thats what i like... IF you can offer me any support on where to find the women that i want.. let me know... im going to continue to read your site... ,let me know what you think about the feedback i gave you here
Awesome website buddy. Reading your experience abroad vs. in the
states with the white ladies, I felt like I was reading about myself.
It's unfortunate that as Asian American men, you and I face a severe
uphill battle in the dating scene in the States. Whether we like it
or not, due to negative media portrayals of Asian men in the states
and negative perceptions, we are at the bottom of the dating pool
here, and it's frustrating as hell. I can remember stretches where I
would study in coffee shops, talk to attractive white women, add them
on Facebook, then get rejected constantly when asking them out for
dinner or drinks, it certainly wasn't for a lack of effort that my
dating life wasn't going anywhere in the States. I'm into Asian gals,
but let's face it, it's a numbers game, and when 90% of the available
chicks around you are white, the odds are stacked against you as an
Asian man here. I might just have to take a trip to
I'm a huge fan of Eastern European women, and from my interactions
with them in the states, they are one of the few white women who are
genuinely into Asian guys.
Winston, you truly are an inspiration. I am 26, going on 27,
and the only difference between my life in the
"I thank you Winston from the bottom of my heart for showing me
and other lonely men THE WAY to
"Thank you Winston for all of your help. Your knowledge and experiences are inspirational and GOLDEN and you are well liked and honored by MANY. Do not let the HATERS get you down. Because these types of people will not do for themselves, than to bash you all day in B.S. topics and post. Why don't they step outside the matrix and go abroad to be happy also? Keep up the good work my friend. You're doing EXCELLENT !!!"
"It's such a wonderful time in my life and YOU are the person I thank for this guidance and for making HappierAbroad.com and giving lonely guys everywhere a chance at solutions and cures to datelessness and hope to having a life that is fullfilled overseas. I'm so excited and so happy now Winston."
- Dwayne from
I just came across your article on the net about the Twelve Reasons Why Russian Women Are NOT Desperate To Leave Their Country ....
I was blown away and amazed at your insight i wanted to thank you for the info, I totally agree with you, it was very enlightening to me and and have found that your insight into Russian women is dead on from my own experience in getting to know a few. They are so beautiful inside and out that @ first your taken aback thinking this can't be real, they gotta be putting me on. You put it so aptly....
" They are simply sweeter, more modest, unspoiled, friendly, unparanoid, etc. and they do not have the self-righteous and arrogant tone that many American women have. " In otherwords real women.
I ran into your website because I was researching Christianity and I have to say thank you! What you say about American women and esp. the list of 10 reason why you're forced to look abroad are so true. This is coming from me, a white Irish-German male who's in the computer field, been told he is good looking, 5' 11" and broad shoulders, yet I'm not rich, always had a belly and the key thing, and I'm guessing the same is true of you, above average intelligence. Women in the
All I know is, I am frustrated as hell and I'm no longer interested in them.
One question: Are there some more voluptuous women out there in
P. S. I skimmed over some of what you wrote about Christianity and all I have to say is that the vast majority of content of Paul's letters are contradictory to Jesus' teachings (this is what I was specifically looking for and I heard that authors like Leo Tolstoy believe it as well) and that a group of men canonized scripture, basically out of political pressure and mutual interest and benefit. So, I am just as fascinated if not more so in what was LEFT OUT of the Bible as much as what should not have been included.
name is John, and I am currently living in
Asian men in
I admire you Winston. Great Job. I do not know how you did it, but you are a inspiration to me. The woman love you, thats so awesome. Write back to me if you have time. I will keep reading your website.
I just found your website online, and just wanted to drop you a line, and let you know a little about me and my new business venture. I like you was fed up with all of the difficulties with American women, though unlike you I ended up in the
I wanted to let you know (at minimum) about my new website www.personalmatchmaker.net, that I have recently launched.
I like your site.. Or at least what I could see of it. You know it’s amazing how many guys I’ve been meeting that all feel the same way. I myself have been to back and forth to Ukriane several times. I know that if I ever get married, it will be to a beautiful Ukrainian lady.
I like your youtube videos too. Keep up the great job and happy travels.
Yes, I was able
to view the photojournals. And I think you did a good job on the videos,
too. The two women were down-to-earth and approachable (which you were
aiming for), and I think you successfully conveyed these qualities. I also
viewed your other videos and I think you have good presentation skills. A
video I found particularly funny was the one in which you attempted
to greet strangers in
I did read some of the comments for some of the videos, and saw a lot of vitriol to go along with some praise. I interpreted the venom in these comments as jealousy and envy. Instead of these men appreciating the initiative you've taken to open doors for other men, they'd rather sit on their couches and attack. And the women are angry that they can no longer derive pleasure in rejecting people like you and me anymore as more men discover they can now have a great social/dating life overseas. Don't allow the bashing to stop you from continuing to spread a life-changing message for legions of men.
As for the quote, yes you can use it. In fact, you can use my real name - Jelani. I'm from NY.
true! I went to
I read your accounts on your happier abroad site and have been inspired and motivated to travel overseas. I have a very similar story to yours, but with one difference: I'm currently married and African-American. However, my wife and I are about to divorce, and I have always struggled in the dating scenes despite looking reasonably attractive. This is why I have remained with my wife even though she is selfish and treats me like a pile of trash. I have had a lot of bad experiences with American women and feel my dating chances are slim to none after I lose her.
Just looking at the inequality between the sexes on dating sites let alone in real life dismays me. I don't want to be forced to just accept whatever female "chooses" me. I want to be on a level-playing field and I think traveling will help. Your own narrative has convinced me.
question is: do you think my being an African-American will be
an impediment from experiencing the success you've had if I travel to
I'm eager to hear back from you!
WW your website is fantastic! I could feel for you when I was in my 20s. All of your bio sounded like something I would write and I'm not even a man (I guess I'm one of those .00000001% of American women that actually have class and culture!Anyway congrats to you Dianne and Angelo that was a very inspiring story, see the nice guys finish last, but BEST! Best wishes to you.
Request to be
on mailing list and your fiancee Dianne and your pics, congratulations, I have
I also aspire
to write an Ebook about my experiences but focusing on East vs West,
It seems like you have also been with hot girls with very nice legs. do you have some nice pics of you making out with a girl with very nice legs? again, I can never get anyone like that and haven't been able to make out with a girl for over 10 years at least. I am interested in hearing or seeing some of the hottest girls you've done. It would make me very jealous, and you can have fun making me jealous talking or sharing pics of girls you know I probably would never get myself. I know you have the collage, but the pictures are small and not as clear. thank you. –grant
Hi winston, I'm a big fan of yours. Do you have any nice big/clear pics of you with some hot white girls? I never have any success with white girls as I'm asian myself. I am so jealous how you are able to get some hot white girls.... and even get to kiss them somehow. If you would like to show me how you are much better than me at finding hot girls to make out with, please send me a pic so I can be envious and look up to you more. thankyou..
To Mr Winston Wu,
Hi Im Joe I have just stumbled on your website Happier Abroad and I think its great what you did and achieved abroad in
I have even tried many russian websites and the women on these photos nearly all look like models, and I think russian women are the most beautiful women in the world and are very elegant and tall and like you would love to experience the russian women.
I purchased your Ebook yesterday through paypal and still not received it and I hope your Ebook will help me accomplish my fantasies I have longed for. I was wondering do you send me it by email or what as I have never seen a Ebook before!
I hope to hear from you soon and am fast becoming a fan of yours:))))
Best regard Joe:)
Hey whatsup, im Ishmell. Im 24 years old and I currently
Youtube comments on Kairosan’s video reviews of Happier Abroad:
“Seeing Wu's website makes me realize that
there really are better girls out there to meet and I wish one day I can visit
all these places to meet real girls worth talking too. Here in
"Thanks a milion. my concept of America's culture has changed from a 180 degree angle just from reading that book( shouts in joy) Finally, I now know why people act the way they act here in the states!!!"
"I love this ebook, it's fulfilled with many answers that I was dire to learn. like you, I was once wondering why it was so difficult to make any friends in high school, and now, I know exactly why. I 'm gonna recommend this book to my gf, she claims that none of her friends seem to care much about her anymore or doesn't have time to hang out with her even when they're off, I kept telling her that American s and western societies un-writing rule is to be "selfness's" and to only pay attention to those that they value. she thought that perhaps there was something wrong with her when in fact there isn't. Thanks a million and if it's okay with you, how about I do a video on why people should buy your e-book, you can posted up on your site. Gotta run and I'll just read this book ALL day..."
man - you are the man - i have looked through very briefly on your site - but i want to walk in your footsteps man - i'm depress here in the U.S - no action - absolutly no satisfaction - i see some of your fotos - all fo the girls look hot to me.
i don't even have any chances with the ugly girls here in the U.S - sucks.
Hi all, I'm Jon. I've lurked around here for a while and finally signed up. I'm a youthful 40, in great shape ,and own a few web businesses. I lived for about 10 years in
Perhaps it's because I stayed gone so long, but when I returned to the
I appreciate Winston doing this site because frankly, I know he's right. Before I moved abroad my social life in the
I've been back a couple of years and I've really tried to make things happen here. But now I have finally had enough. This year (2009) I'm planning to leave the country. I haven't decided exactly where I'll go yet (I'm considering a few places), but I do know that I'm definitly leaving, and "sooner rather than later."
I have seen the quality of my social and dating life go down significantly here in the
If anyone wants to chat and/or share info about moving abroad, please be in touch. I'm social and cooperative by nature (as opposed to paranoid and competitive). Perhaps that's WHY I don't fit in the
My name is Tony Chan working in silicon valley. I stumbled upon your website and think you hit it dead on the head. Are you in the SF bay area? I will buy you a cup of coffee.
SWEET website. WOW! Inspiring, useful, fun. Fascinating to see the reactions of your readers!
As one pointed out, you really are a leader. Unusually truthful and courageous.
Other dating sites seem to focus either on getting laid, or on scoring with working girls.
acknowledge that side of masculinity, which we all have, but you also admit the
need for love, warmth, affection. This is what is hardest to get here in
Like you I was an outcast growing up, but I eventually learned to play the game well enough to get laid. Ironically, it's still extremely hard to find love!
OK, like so many I am going to ask your advice.
My boys, my brother and I are planning to emigrate - to get out of "the Matrix." We are tall, athletic, talented, white-looking, All-American types, but with stubborn Armenian temperament, and old-fashioned red-blooded values, good manners, and lots of education.
We are all single. We are all looking for young, virtuous women to give us children. (Sounds kind of politically incorrect, doesn't it?) We want to settle permanently in a place with strong family values and no American-style rat race.
And when it comes to women, we want what many of your readers want. Slender women. Warm, loving, feminine natures. Sexual reponsiveness. Intelligence and depth, but not necessarily a lot of formal education.
Personally, I would also prefer an environment where women were tolerant of a man having multiple, above-board, committed longterm relationships.
We all speak
some Spanish, have dated Asians or Filipinas as well as Latinas, and learn
languages easily. We have family friends in countries ranging from
I'm hoping that you might be able to help me narrow the choice a bit.
I understand that the Philippines is better for settling permanently than Thailand, because of the more open society and easier acceptance of white foreigners into the family.
But I'm also
curious how you see the
I'd be honored to hear your thoughts.
Hike (aka Jester)
I came across this page looking for other sites of immigrants from other places that were thinking of leaving the divided states of
A little bit about myself. I am from
This country, no offense, is dead, cultureless, lifeless, prude in many ways, and completely uncivilized. I now work for a german firm and spent the last six months working in
Now of course I cannot say that any country is perfect. All places have their pros and cons, but I simply cannot live with the fact of living in a country that thinks its the greatest piece of land on the planet, has the biggest ego about it, and has the mass propaganda on the media to make every american believe that they are god's gift to the world, while not knowing anything about the remaining countries on the planet. Most americans dont even know what the capital is of their neighbors,
A friend told me once that the american ego stems from from this country scoring an A, and all the others scoring a C or less the last few decades. I would have to say this country scores a big fat F in my book. 5% of the worlds population using 25% of the worlds energy and creating 40% of the worlds trash doesnt score high on my list.
And lets not forget that this country has had George W Bush as president for eight years... what madness... and then this place was dumb enough to not just vote him in the first time, but then to vote him in again... and lets not forget that John McCain and Palin made a serious run at the white house... again that is only possible here, where the population is kept ignorant to anything else in the world, and lead the lives that they do because they do not know anything different or better.
Being German I find it especially frustrating because this country has an obsession with everything WW2 and Adolf Hitler. One turns on the history channel (or as I call it the war channel) to view history that happened a very long time ago... not that is a bad thing to learn a little history, and we all know most americans are not very educated about anything that happens outside of this place, but I have had enough of nazi jokes, beer jokes, or the comments that we actually wear Lederhosen every day, drink 20 beers a day, and eat nothing but pretzels and sausages, and that all of us have a Porsche (would be nice though).
I am not saying that everyone should be a world expert, but the average american could not point out my country or the continent it is located in on a map. Sure, most people overseas are not expert either, but everyone can at least point on a map and knows the basic geography of the world.
A lady in her forties recently asked me how big
Another acquaintance of mine was actually firmly decided that he wanted to learn swiss. Anybody that knows anything about
Ohh, and here is a new concept, I am typing this email in my second language, and I speak and write better english than most americans do. Or as I heard once, here is a joke:
When one speaks three languages: they are trilingual
Wehn one speaks two languages: they are bilingual
When one speaks only one language: they are american
Do not get me wrong, I have met some great people here and have made some good friends, but these are usually individuals that feel the same way that I do, have traveled a little bit, and are certainly not representative of the average person here.
My biggest problem besides the ego, is the distinct lack of culture. If country music, loaded six shooters, and cowboy hats are culture, then so be it. I am proud of my country, have an over D sticker on the back of my Audi, and a flag on my aviator jacket along with a european union one, but I would never do that in germany. Is it really necessary here to fly the american flag in front of every apartment complex, house, mcdonalds, shopping mall, business, etc...? Is it really right to instill the american ego from day one in children, making them at a young age recite the pledge of allegiance in classrooms, and breed ignorance and egos.
And lets not forget the silly sports that are played... baseball and especially football are so bloody boring.... ohh yea... there a have to be different sports, so this way an american team can be world champion every year.
And lets not forget the blatant stupidity of the american units of measurements.... its 2009, and everybody else is on the metric system which actually makes sense.
The distinct lack of identity is rather strange as well. A now ex friend told me that he was Irish. I asked if he was either born in
Not to go on too long, but lets not forget that people here have no health insurance, no way to help them in times of need, no infrastructure with constant dependence on automobiles, but this place can justify a nice large military and bases around the world to protect the american interests of consumption... give me a break
And last but not least, there is no freedom here. There are laws and regulations about everything. There are certain financial freedoms here, but what good is it if you can not enjoy it. One can have guns, which by the way causes extreme crime and violence here compared to the rest of he west, but once can be arrested from drinking a beer in public, of showing as much as a buttcheek.... nice freedom!!
If you know of any other germans in the
Been here too long and is counting the days until the big move back across the pond
I think this maybe a beginning of a beautiful friendship. :)
I've stumbled upon your website while I was searching for articles on foreign women. Though, this may NOT have been an accident. My name is Jerry Orphe and I live in
I've read many of your available articles so far, plus your personal intro . I must say, I can relate what you have been through in this country. I haven't dated any girl in my life. And everywhere I move from state to state, it was the same. At least you had on several occassions, even though it didn't last too long.
My email is quite lenghty, I must warn you, but I think it's a reflection as to where I've been through, and where I'm coming from. Feel free to take some time to read through, if you like.
Ever since I was born, I went through tough love in society. Sure there were some exceptions but overall it has been pure mediocrity. To this day, it's tough love with me for the most part, though I've managed to eat some crow and get used to it. And with American women, it's no exception. I've learned in recent months (hard to believe) that you can't trust them nor have any intestinal fortitude for true relations with them; they are either twofaced, or cunning.
I've never had any "luck" with them, there would love to hide their true feelings about me. And then I tried online dating in the
her a visit. (This come months after I met this woman while I was in
might pay her a visit. But when I came back, she was gone. I couldn't get a straight answer from her for weeks. She said she was in
I'm always been taking care of myself, I know what I was doing; you ain't my daddy! You f'n asshole. You can kiss my ass goodbye, you &%#!!!!" And I go, "ookey....dah' I took that back....sorry!!!" like a b*tch. I was patrified, to say the least. Obviously, I had to eat some crow and play PC with her because she was on the verge of breaking up, even though she was screwing around with a fella while she was seeking a "serious" relationship. It was less than a year later that we didn't speak to each other ever again. Then on the same American dating site, there was this scammer from
She was around my age, fine looking girl. She show me pictures of herself. She then told me how handsome I was and how she loved me so. We certainly hit it off immediately. We both correspond with emails for days on end, talk on the phone. Then one day she wanted to see me in
Discouraged yet undeterrent, I went to this international dating site that was based in
So I subscribe to this site, put my honest profile up along with a few, up-to-date pics. And shortly I had a few winks from ladies of eastern Europe but no offers. So I decided to let them come to me. There was one time this dame from
infamous annoucment that she was pregnant from her premarital sex with a man she slept with. Interesting, at the time she gave me her take on the matter; that the Russian girl in question could not give me the straight face, and how Russian women couldn't be trusted.
Hypocritical, isn't it?
So I finally cancel my subscription from that American dating site I was with before and continue on with this international one I've mentioned. Just months after that experience with the dame from Khaborovsk, I was approached by a Russian chick from
Then there was my faith, at the time I was in spiritual confusion I've been to a few Christian denominations while I stayed in
emai so I can adjust the brightness of the photo via a editing software they have. One of them saw what I was doing. She wanted to know who she is. I told her that's my girlfriend from
male partners on the side who I don't know about (which bear some truth to that.) And that a girl and a boy who has similar problems cannot produce positive chemistry in a relationship that way; In other words, I should stay the hell away from her. She would also like it if I should stay away from online dating in general and instead focus on participating in religious, local, youth get-togethers at the Catholic church, bible meetings and all that. And find someone who spiritually relate to yours, one who is Catholic that is. She went on to tell me that maybe God doesn't mean for me to have a wife; in other words, He wanted me to become a celibate priest like all other Catholic preists or even a monk (even though I have some sinful, sexual urges I couldn't control, it's just human nature.) And if I were to find a spouse I need to show her the positives in her. I need to have my cup overflow with positives, enough positives in me to "spill over" to a
negative person like her. (with analogies and the whole nine yards in order for me to figure it out.) I took a back with all of that. Even though there was SOME truth to what she said to me, I thought she was paranoid in branding charactures, and stereotypes towards Russian women, let alone the people in general.
Anyway, this comes just weeks before my girlfriend didn't bother to speak to me online. After I was confirmed into the Papal church, I decided to move back to
I was a bit heartbroken but I was undererrent once again, so I stay on to that East-West dating site. Two other females from two former Soviet republics approach me but they both were in the
Then, there was a girl from Khaborovsk; a different girl this time. And this time I decided to start off as friends the next time I'm encounted, because I was having misfortunes otherwise. But she did approach me on the same site I just mentioned. Apperately, she was thinking the same thing. She send me her email message, told me who she was and how she wants to make new friends. She told me her occupation and her age. Hum, I could have sworn that her profile and the uploaded pics were not hers; I thought this could be another scammer. She then add her cellphone number and I like "Wow! She really must be a scrammer!" LOL But I took time to reply to her, acknowledge that the profile and the pics don't match. It turns out the profile and photographs were her mother's, and did that because she was having trouble getting her own profile/pics uploaded, and wanted me to send her my email address so she can reply with pics of her own. Okay, I figured, so she
past the first smell test. Now let me see if she acturally sent those pics, which she eventurally did. And she looked pretty indeed, I like it. We then start correspond with each other through all forms of communication. It continues to this day and it has been nearly two years since, the longest I ever have with any woman online.
At the time of our encounters though, I still have some feelings toward American woman. I though well maybe I should give them another chance. But I wouldn't go join an ordinary dating site; I figured maybe it has to be religious. So I went to Catholicmatch.com and subscribe. For once I took my sponsors' advice (well half of it anyway, I still attached to online dating sites.) I thought were if these Catholic ladies are as nice on there then they should be nice anywhere in the country. After all, one out of a few Catholic articles on the Internet suggest that religious men should stop wasting time and money finding foreign women abroad and conscetrate on local "religious" women in the States because they don't describe to the femenist, secular cultural mindset and besides it's much "cheeper". Foriegn women are "desperate" to do anything to come here and live a better life for themselves. It should be "Love not Lust!"
I later realized though how naive and pressumptious that turned out to be. And it turns out IT was the final straw that broke the camel's back.
On the first day of subscription, no winks, a few nods here and there but no offers. Then one chick from
joining the New Age movement until 9/11 came about and she had a ephinany, that religion does play a huge part of one's life. So she went back to "
Whew! What a mouthfull! Now I can see what you mean about high expectations of a typical American woman.
At first glace, we seemed like a ideal "power couple". Okay, so I barely made it out of undergradute school but at least I'm highly intelligent. And I'm in to the Jamaican culture (well 3/4 of it anyway.) And I don't have a musical instrument to play, I did had a portable organ but it was broken and have to throw it away. And I'm not into animal rights, cause I think animals don't have rights; they can't sue their masters or take their human masters to court. But I haven't kill a single pet in the house. :))
But after a while, things started to go downhill. I told her I was moving to
She was mad at them because they treated her and her mother
like rubbish by giving them a hard time.
She later told me about her brother who left the Catholic faith and become an "born-again Evangelical". And how he would not submit to the pontiff and why he wouldn't have their children baptised in the Church. She sounded quite attimate about it everytime she mentions it, she wouldn't dare marry a guy who felt the same way about her Church (Though, I happend to agree with some of what he's saying.) Then she ask where I'm located, I told her
We later met in person, and had dinner at a Middle-Eastern restaurant after days of postpoments. Just small talk, etc nothing exciting.
Then weeks later, I tried to get a
awhile. Then we patch things up and start talking again.
Then my money was running out. I've spent most of what I have left on a bartending class in The Loop for a few weeks. When I've failed to get a job working behind the bar, the landlord demand that I pay the next months rent or else. He tried to help me out anyway he could but I've failed to meet his standards. I only had a couple of hundred bucks left, so I decided to give up and take a bus back to
It was a huge mistake. I came back here in late February of last year with no job to go back to and viturally no money. I told my Russian friend in Khaborovsk what happend and she tried to cheer me up a bit. I thought that was kind of her.
A few months and three failed jobs later, I begin to correspond to Gina and debate her about her religion and some of its controversal teachings, like the papist's version of the Assumption of the Mother of God, and how a person who did not have a stain of Original Sin didn't die and was assumed bodily into heaven. Remember, their fundemental teaching of Original Sin is that we inherit "guilt" from Adam's sin against God upon our birth, thus bringing death upon ourselves. Which was a total mistranslation of scriptures, and when in fact should be the other way around; that we are born "mortal" but do not inherit Adam's guilt. So I brought this to her attention just to get the ball rolling. At first it was quite civil, but then as it progresses turned victious. She, and her modern Church dismiss the fact that we inherit "guilt" through Original Sin, at least that's its core teaching from Augustine himself. Then it progressed to other scwabbles over other
questionable teachings such as the Immaculate Conception, The Latin version of the Assumption of Mary, etc. She was really defensive, as most Roman Catholics are. She then accuse me of "dissing" her faith and starts throwing red herrings at me with some 'Ad hominems', and some strawman arguments. I thought that was a bit childish. That is how one responds to constructive criticisms, I thought. That did it, she then decided she would cut off communications with me because what I've said was "repulsive", and "offensive" to Catholics like her. Nobody should ever criticize their beloved religion. Remember, I had mixed feelings towards Catholicism prior to conformation. I even taken a oath that I believe every single doctrine/dogma the Church teach and if I were to openly criticize even one teaching, I would be blackballed and ostracized by much of the faithful and prehaps by the clerics too. I didn't call her bluff because I knew how Catholics would react
to criticism; they would slander you, lash out at you and cut you out of their lives. Which is what Gina did. It was religious fanaticism at its worst. And this is not the first time that ever happend to me, on the same Catholicmatch website a single mother by the name Colleen from
with it just decades ago. I tried to give her biblical explanations as to why, and how the "santuary" where the iconastas is located is God's holy ground, ties also with God and Moses. But she was not satisfied with my answer. So she suggest that I should get explanations from my priest and then get back with her. I did, and when I told her what he told me, she still was not convinced. Obviously, she don't want to believe it because she thinks it's unfair, she was used to everyone desicrate the altar with thier sacreligious shenanigans. I tried to reason with her but then came the arguments. She starts throwing red herrings at me, the ad hominems' and the like. And then she cuts me out of her life. It's some sort of a "pattern". I could see why her man left her.
You just can't reason with them, even if you try to be nice to them they would always find something to whine about.
And so I told Gina right before she cut me off, "To hell with Catholicism and to hell with your pope!" And for that matter, to hell with American Women. When she cut me off I cut myself off from the Catholic dating site as well as American women.
Now I'm quite wary to be around them, Winston because of the bitter experience I had with them over the years. And these so-called religious women in
I continue to talk to my female friend from
I thank God I've found a person who I can relate to and has experience in the international dating scene like you do. You can give me your take on my "horror" story, if you like. (though, I think it turned out to be a positive one in the end. I think you would agree too!)
Take care and talk to you soon!
Dear Mr. Wu,
This is James Kwok living in
You are an infinite inspiration to me and I feel tremendous admiration to the fact that you actually put
your dream into reality!!!
I did not seem to be able to use pay pal to pay for the e-book I am interested in.
Please tell me where can I use my credit card number directly to pay for the following books!
1) Expatriate Lessons and Insights Ebook – By Ladislav, my Expat Advisor who is “The Socrates of Expatriate Life”. Contains hundreds of pages of multi-national insights, comparisons, knowledge, lessons, wisdom and advice on World Living, Dating and Cultural Understanding. It is unrivaled in scope and depth. Click here to sample Ladislav’s writings in his Blog.
My Travel and Dating Guide To
Mr Winston Wu,
Your story is an inspiration to many. But, how I ask may I buy your eBook? When I click on the link it takes me to PayPal, but how do I know that you have the email address to send me the eBook? Where is the shopping cart?
Basically, I agree with you on your perceptions on
Your eBook, how do I get it?
I stumbled across
your site and really enjoyed what I’ve read so far. Having moved from
And the women are friendlier, though I haven’t really enjoyed them fully yet ;)…you find just talking – no techniques, or “speed seduction” stuff – works good? I think maybe I’ve got it in my head that I have to always have a technique or something…maybe this applies more for American women?
Anyhow, again cool site and I’ll check back later…
Thank you for allowing us to see the rest of your photojournals. They are really inspiring, as in the amazing women, places, and courage you showed in the Russian territory. If I had been mugged as you were, I really couldn't say that I would have stayed there or even made future trips back. I probably would have been on the first plane out of the country, running home to mom lol. I looked up your friend's book, Kinga Freespirit. It was shocking to learn that she passed away almost a few years ago. It's a real wake up call to how short a persons life may be, and really kicks the "travel and see the world" motivation in gear- before you never get the chance.
I had a Russian girlfriend for two years. I didn't have to go to
I could talk about this for hours but I know you're a busy guy and I don't want to ramble too much. In the future I plan to definetely purchase some of your travel DVDs. For the eye candy and also practical advice in how to travel. I've never left the country before and I have no clue how to travel wisely or practically. If there are any books that you can recommend, that would be greatly appreciated.
Also if it's alright for me to ask, I found Alina from Yoshkar Ola really appealing. She greatly reminds me of my ex. As my ex was from a small town too and held many talents as well. Would you happen to still be in touch with her? Maybe still have her email address? With my luck she is probably married to some lucky guy and has children by now, but it never hurts to ask.
I want to wish you good luck with Diane, you always seem to have your hands full. Not only with her, but also her family- which is ten times worse in my opinion. But if you look at the bright side you're gaining valuable experience with eluding major hassles and creatively solving problems. ;)
Hey man, I just want to say I like your site. Only one
problem. All of the pop ups are annoying!! See if you can move them.
I have also lived outside of the
And I really don't think that the election of Obama will change this fact. The country is too divided. Do you think that
I was just sitting here lonely and despressed out of my mind and stumbled upon your essay... you are exactly right about living abroad (in most cases) and I feel like my childhood was similarly awful.. you have a very nice way of writing and it was so easy to relate to your feelings.
Anyhow I just came to the
Anyhow I'm here alone in my house (ok I have bought a
couple parrots to keep me company, but thats just to keep me from jumping off
the roof, it is no substitute for companionship)... and I found your
article, it made me happy to "meet" someone similarly
vexed. At any rate I've lived in many countries too with similar
experiences to yours. I really applaud your website and your effort to
get good men to leave the states ... actually I have no idea why more people
arn't emigrating these days anyway, the
I;d like to offer my guiding services for central aisa (
So if you're interested in extending your tour offerings I
can be a cultural guide. The only thing I'd ask is to be able to help put
the trip together and require std tests for the clients before they go, to be
fair to the women (and easier for the male clients). I can put
together some pretty kick-ass itineraries in those places as I know all the
good hotels/tour companies and safari guides. Anyhow let me know what you
think... I'll be finished with this project in April and head back to
Hi there Winston Wu. I wanted to say. I love your article about the guardedness
of north American Anglo women. It seems like one of the biggest oxy
morons. In order to meet woman you have to go out and make an initiative. Like
being opened and friendly saying hi. However by doing so it makes you look like
the biggest freak, weirdo, asshole, creep, ect. And can even cause all king of
problems even serious problems. You don,t even have to say anything
Inappropriate. Come on to stong say anything weird or do anything
agressive It dosn,t even matter how good you look or how intelligent
and articulate you are. Yet the weirdest thing of all is if your some
totally stupid unintelligent, unarticulate untalented not
even visually unattractive and a total piece of shit. You have
no problems with the Lady's. I was wandering what has caused this phenomenon in
Good Morning, Winston Wu!
I hope you are having a great week! I spent time overnight surfing the internet because I was trying to figure out how to escape this materialist country in which I live. I'm tired of working myself to an early grave here in the U.S. of A trying to keep up with the Joneses! I don't want to keep up with the Joneses anymore! A simpler life with a lower cost of living and a better social life are what I am looking for! As I was trying to decide which country to go to, I stumbled across your www.happierabroad.com website and thought it was excellent! I even went on to read the other parts of your site, including your childhood, your transformation,etc. Your childhood sounds a lot like mine, lol.
I'll give you a little background information. Brace yourself, this is kind of long...
I'm the firstborn daughter, and I have four younger
siblings, two brothers and two sisters. I was born in the U.S. of A. but
at the age of five my family moved to
Things went down the drain from there. I liked
school and I liked studying, so that wasn't the problem. In fact, I
studied because I wanted to, and during my elementary years I did well in
school without even trying. What put a damper on things was that my
father wasn't making the money that he was making in
If my math scores were good enough, I might have gotten a scholarship, but that didn't happen. I wanted to go to college, but my parents kept drilling in my head over and over, "It's too expensive! You can't afford college!" So, I continued working from the age of 18 onward. (I landed my first job when I was 15 years old and in high school). I didn't sign up for post-secondary education until I was 20 years old, but during that "gap year" I continued to study things that interested me. What did I study? Well...
When I was eight years old, I became highly interested in
Asian culture because of a social studies unit that we did when I was a
second grader. I was already in
I eventually signed up for classes at a career college and
entertained plans of becoming a multilingual secretary. I spoke English
(and wrote it with near-perfect grammar), was near-fluent in Spanish, and
was studying Japanese on the side (on my own) when I wasn't
studying for my classes. However, people kept knocking me
down. "What are you studying Japanese for? Nobody speaks
Japanese here in the
Ironically, I landed a job at a local day care center where I taught foreign languages to children. I was still in school then, and after I graduated with my business degree in 2005, I moved out of my parents' house and got my own apartment. (That shocked the heck out of my family!) Things got expensive, so I had to take on a second job. In 2006, I moved again to a different apartment in a better neighborhood. Four months after settling into my new apartment, I began hanging out with a young man that I had a crush on at my second job. I thought he was cute and I admired his work ethic, so I invited him over for pizza and a movie. Less than a month later, that young man became my boyfriend. There I was, 26 years old, with my first boyfriend ever! We dated for a year before he broke up with me. We're still friends, and now that I can see things clearly, the timing was probably off. If it's meant to be, we'll be together again, but if not, all I can do is hope for the best for him and get on with my life.
I turned 29 in September. All of a sudden I feel old! I know that I'm not old, that's not until I'm 30, lol! The problem that I'm having is that I'd like to do some things with my life before I get too old. I've been working since I was 15 years old and I have nothing to show for it but a bunch of debt! (Darn student loans!) I don't want to accumulate more material items any more! I want to get out and experience life! I treasure memories now more than I do material things. I've applied for some English-teaching jobs and thanks to my experience working with kids, recruiters want to hire me. I find it ironic that I'm "unwanted" by American employers, yet I'm in demand overseas. Weird.
As you mentioned in your website, we're told by the
media that there's nothing good outside of the
I feel that I am a white/latina/black/asian person rolled into one because of my huge interest in different countries and cultures, and also because of the languages that I speak. I don't fit into a neat, clear-cut mold. I'll give you a breakdown of my upbringing according to certain cutural stereotypes:
1. My mother instilled in us the importance of education, but I got more of that message because of my firstborn status, even though I was a female. I had to speak proper English, "ghetto English" wasn't allowed under her roof. I had to make straight A's on my report card, which was easy before I turned 13 years old. When I entered middle school, it became harder to get straight A's because didn't do so well in math. (I moved to a different state at the age of 13 where they taught math differently, so that didn't help!) If I got one B, that was ok, but if I got two or more, or worse, a C, D, or an F, things got ugly! Things got even worse because my grandparents expected me to get good grades too! My city had this "horrible" habit of posting the names of all the kids from the local schools who made the honor roll, and if my name wasn't in the newspaper...
2. No boys! My parents and grandparents (and
aunts and uncles) didn't want me around boys! As a teenager I was dragged
to my grandparents church a lot, and even the church members were telling me,
"Stay away from boys!" Geez! The reason was that I was to
remain a virgin until marriage. As I mentioned earlier, I didn't have a
boyfriend until I was 26 years old, and that was after I moved out and got my
own place! Ironically, that boyfriend was an Asian-American man who was
born in an Asian country, but raised in the
3. My mother was (and still is) overly critical. Nothing I did was ever good enough. That could explained why I worked like an animal during my early twenties, holding down a job and attending classes so that I could graduate and move the heck out!
1. I guess I could have put this under,
"Asian-like upbringing", but I put it here because of a
different twist. Based on what I've heard from some of my
Oh, it gets worse! I continued to work as a teenager, but I had to hide my money throughout my bedroom. I had a bank card, but after I woke up one morning at the age of 17 and saw that my purse was wide open with my bank card missing, I had to step up things and find better hiding places. I hid my money in books, because, as they say, "black people don't read," but my family members soon found out where I hid my money.
Wait, there's more! There I was, at work where I taught kids foreign languages, and my mother showed up at my workplace and asked if I had a copy of the tax booklet so that my brothers could finish their tax returns. Why couldn't they just walk to the library like I did and get their own book? So lazy!
Now, here's the killer, and I'm kicking myself for it! My brother wanted a car, and since he didn't make enough, he had to get a cosigner. Guess which overly-reponsible financially stable person they found? Now that he's defaulted on his car payments, guess who has to kill herself working two jobs to pick up the slack without any help from the rest of the family? To add insult to injury, he went and got himself another car!
1. Because I'm a female, I'm expected to be able to dance and sing well. Singing I could do, but dancing? Well...I didn't develop that talent too well, so I focused on singing. I was in the church chorus, school chorus, and I walked around the house singing.
2. Black kids were mean to me because I came to school to learn, not to play around! I took my education seriously and they didn't like that. I was the subject of endless ridicule and cruelty.
3. When I was six years old, I wanted to get married and have kids, however, something in me snapped when I was in middle school. I guess it was the way that I was treated by black boys? Since high school, my mother drilled into my head that I am to be a "strong, independent woman". I went to school, graduated with a business degree, moved into my own apartment, gained financial stability, etc. Sometimes I just want to take off the "strong, independent woman" mask and just be a girly girl, but showing weakness isn't allowed. The year with my boyfriend was great at the beginning. Unfortunately, I became unemployed months later. Finding work took first place and my relationship was put on the back burner. Even though my (then) boyfriend offered to help me out financially, it didn't feel right for me to accept his hard-earned money because I felt it was my problem and I had to deal with it myself. I guess my independent streak put a strain on things, so he thought that I didn't need him. I'd rather have him back, but I guess I ruined things and it's too late now.
4. I have a deeply-rooted general mistrust of people, unfortunately. It takes a lot to crack through my shell, and the only man who was able to get as far as he did with me was my ex-boyfriend. I was treated like crap by black kids as a teenager because of my nerdy status and my socio-economic status, so that's one reason for my lack of trust. The other reason is the financial crap that I had to deal with from the age of nine and upward. At that age, I completely lost faith in my father's ability to provide for the family. My mother had to go out and get a job when I was 13 years old, and she hated the job that she had at the time, so that further added to the household tension. Two years later I entered the workforce, and even then I (reluctantly) used my money to contribute to the family income. It was either that or get evicted and live on the streets, and that was a huge fear of mine at the time. I didn't want to be poor and homeless with my classmates riding by and laughing at me, so I gave in and gave my parents my hard-earned money.
1. I had to speak proper English, none of that "ghetto English."
2. Rap music was banned from the household. If we wanted to listen to it, we had to sneak around and listen to it, but I didn't like rap anyway, so that wasn't much of a problem for me.
3. I felt comfortable around white people as a
kid, and for the most part I still do as an adult. Remember, I lived
4. I was told to stay out of trouble as a kid. As a result, I'm a 29-year old woman with no criminal history.
Even though your happierabroad.com site was mainly geared toward men, in many ways I agree with what you wrote. American women tend to be stuck-up, cold and standoffish. When I was a girl, I was quite friendly, but as I got older I became more cold and distant. I think the main reason for that was because of the mental, emotional, and financial crap that I had to deal with as a tween and as a teenager. As I mentioned earlier, at a young age I lost faith in my father's ability to provide for the family. (My mother told me that he wouldn't be in the situation that he's in if he had completed his education, but with today's economy going the way that is is, I'm not so sure now.) At the age of 15, I began working and thought, "I can earn my own money! If I save enough, I can have a better life!" Needless to say, I'm very reluctant to give up my financial independence because I've seen how my father and my brothers made unwise choices with their money that affected the female members of the family negatively. The message that I received was, "Men can't provide, so I have to provide for myself!"
In my case, I am the way that I am because I'm still in survival mode. I'm not looking for a rich man with megabucks. If a man is willing to meet me halfway financially, I'd be happy with that. During the happy times that I had with my (then) boyfriend, we didn't spend a lot of money, just time with each other. I valued time with him more than how much he spent on me.
What I'd like to do is get off this American treadmill and go to another country that has a lower cost of living and a better social atmosphere. There, I won't have to worry about working myself into an early grave just to keep my job and survive! I can loosen up and not be as stressed-out, and actually dress and act like a female! If I meet a man, that's a bonus!
Thank you for taking time out to read this long e-mail! Thank you for creating such a great site! I'll definitely come back again!
Have a great week!
p.s. In case you're curious, I'm not white,
Thank you for sending me the e-book. I downloaded it with no problems. Your story and mine, based on what I have read about you, are extremely similar as far as the social and bullying aspects are concerned. The difference is that while you seem to have dated at least once or twice in the
When I got to the part where you talk about the shield put up by American women, I thought about the time when I wanted to buy the seduction materials out there. It is really funny how this industry has spawned and really grown in this country started by the same guy who started the fast(speed) seduction site. It is only in this country, where the women are abnormal that such cockamamie techniques are needed and bought by the barrel-full. And you are right, they just don't work anyway.
Thanks for sending me the ebook once again. I really enjoy reading the articles in your site.
Just want to say that you're amazing being able to make
"friends" with so many good looking Eastern European girls. But
as for myself I am single, as I have always been, never kissed a girl before,
never had a girlfriend, and even went to my senior prom by myself. I
am a typical 30 year old Taiwanese-American who, due to intense Parental
pressure, spent my entire life "studying" and learning violin, piano,
and martial arts to get into a good college and now medical school. I had
virtually no social life as I spent most of my time in the University library,
public library, or my room of my house reading and studying biology, MCAT, DAT,
GRE, and now medicine "crap." After seeing your site, I decided
to come to
The 30 year old Virgin going to be the 40 year old Virgin and maybe 80 year old Virgin if I continue to be unsucessful. So please help!
Hi Wumaster. I loved reading about your adventures on the web.
I've already done quite a bit of traveling, mostly
I am thinking about taking on a new project and documenting it on the web. Similar to what you've done, but from a different perspective. I was wondering if there is any way I could talk to you about your experience. Take care,