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HAPPIER ABROAD  Why You Will Have A Better Love and Life Beyond America


 

Introduction

 

"If the society in the US says that the problem is *you*, then try changing societies. You may be in for a big surprise."

- Ladislav, The "Socrates of Expatriate Living"

 

“You are a champ. Most of us, even if we did find the holy grail would either be too selfish or more likely shy and embarrassed to ever come out publicly the way you have. Your generosity of spirit is truly amazing.”

John, New Zealand

 

 

About me

Dear Reader,
 
Greetings. Welcome to the Happier Abroad Grand Ebook. My name is Winston Wu. Thank you for your interest and for allowing me to share with you the incredible life-changing discoveries I've made overseas.
 
First, a little about me. I am an Asian American male of Taiwanese descent, but unique in that I think for myself and am a nonconformist. I am a traveler, writer, online entrepreneur, freethinker, truth seeker, intellectual and romantic.  My passions are traveling, writing, culture, art, acting, metaphysics, philosophy, spirituality, and beautiful women. I have many interests and curiosities that make me an explorer at heart.
 
I am sort of an eclectic in that I have a blend of traits more common among the Spanish, Italian, or French - though I am passionate, free-spirited, sensual, romantic, expressive and artistic, I am also intellectual, educated, cultured, refined, insightful, organized, and practical as well.  Such a blend makes me more of a European or Latin than American or Asian, as I tend to have far more common with the former than with the latter.  I am an Existentialist type of person who delights in reflection, introspection, truth-seeking and the search for meaning.  That’s what makes me tick.  Thus, I don’t have the typical American or Asian view that life is all about making money and being committed to a career and routine.  Instead, I share the European/Australian attitude that life is about having new experiences and adventures, exploring the world and meeting interesting people.  I judge my life and self-worth by the richness of my experiences, rather than by career status.  That’s who I am. More about me can be read in my Biography.
 
I immigrated from Taiwan to America when I was 3 years old. Growing up in California, I was always sort of a misfit. This affected me more the more I grew up, especially in my social life and dating. Deep down I always wanted to fit in and belong, but the more I tried, the worse it got. Something was not quite right but I couldn't put a finger on it. Being the least attractive race for a male in the US (Asian) and being short at only 5ft 7, was a huge impediment for me in the dating arena. Plus when the 90's came, feminism and anti-male attitudes in women began to worsen, making things doubly difficult for men. I could never get a decent date no matter what I did. Yet I was not allowed to complain about it cause we are taught to blame ourselves and not others. None of the cliched advice or seduction books worked for me. I was too far out of the type range of most women, who were already super picky to begin with. I either had to lower my standards to rock bottom, or depend on luck. Neither option was viable. Frustration and loneliness grew and plagued my years. (see my story here) I deserved better and I knew I did. The following quote eventually applied:
 
“When one realizes that his life is worthless he either commits suicide or travels.”
- Edward Dahlberg
 
So, not wishing to end my life, I decided to travel, and that’s when everything turned around for me.
 
When I first went to Russia in 2002, I was mesmerized at how approachable, open and relaxed people were, especially the young women. It was surreal and unimaginable. Coming from America, I was used to only old people and little children being open and relaxed, not young attractive women, which in my cultures are the LEAST open and approachable. In Russia, I kept pinching myself to see if I was dreaming, but I wasn't. It was real! I had discovered the "holy grail" of dating and social life.
 
See these links for total proof:
http://www.happierabroad.com/slideshows.php
http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Collage.htm
http://www.happierabroad.com/film.php
 
But the problem was this "holy grail" was a huge social taboo, so taboo in fact that you will not find it mentioned in any book or publication. You see, in any culture, you are NOT allowed to say that people are anti-social, uptight and closed. You are only allowed to either say that everyone/most people are friendly and wonderful, or blame yourself for your own self-deficiencies. But you are NEVER allowed to blame the social culture or environment, no matter how justified it may be to do so.
 
In fact, if you go to the largest public library, you will not find any book or publication stating that people in any particular culture are uptight, anti-social, closed and unapproachable, or that some cultures are more open and sociable than others. Neither will you find any book in your library that mentions the reality of this "holy grail", for to do so would violate the social taboo mentioned above. The closest thing to it would be sociology/cultural studies textbooks which mention that some cultures are more individualistic while others are more collectivist.
 
The truth is that in America people live a highly materialistic and segregated lifestyle devoid of human connection. The purpose of their life is business and productivity, and life itself is reduced to a business resource. The society and media evaluates its citizens in terms of economic functions (e.g. workers, tax payers, consumers, etc.) rather than as human beings with spirit, feelings and passion. As a result, people become machines, stiff and repressed, devoid of romance and passion.
 
Whatever the case, it does seem that the more materialistic people's lifestyles become, the less social they are and the less human connection there is. With wealth and "economic growth" comes loneliness and social disconnectedness. But of course, the media NEVER mentions this, cause it's a total taboo. Instead, the media always sees economic growth as a win-win situation for everybody without trade-offs. It's as if you are supposed to deny and suppress your need for human connection or companionship. That's really sick.
 
Even in First World European nations there is still a lot of romantic passion and soul in their culture and people. But somehow, this seems to be lacking in the USA and the cultures of workaholic East Asia (Japan, Taiwan, Hong Kong, Korea, etc.), which are more robotic and stiff. The regimented socializing that does take place in such workaholic cultures is usually fake, artificial, uptight, pretentious and a cliche rather than a truly flowing interactive experience.
 
The men in these countries have slimmer pickings, because the women tend to be less approachable and more uptight, closed and anti-social. They can afford to be that way because with money, they don't need men, and without passion, they have no need for connection either. Thus they can become jaded, egotistic and feminists who harbor a disdain for men (as they do in the USA). Plus, there are usually too many men and not enough women because many male immigrant workers come there to make money.
 
But in lesser developed countries that are more economically challenged, the women have fewer choices. There aren’t enough eligible men for all the women, so the females have to be sweeter and more feminine and develop better qualities. This makes such cultures a "dating paradise" for men from First World cultures, who are treated far better, more appreciated, and have far more choices among attractive females.
 
A growing number of men in First World nations are beginning to realize this and capitalize on this "big secret" and "holy grail", but the media still considers it a taboo subject and would never cast it in a positive light. That's what makes the media sick. They want us to be dumbed down repressed robotic work slaves who live in fear and obey whatever they are told on TV, rather than become enlightened with the truth. Anything outside of the media's narrow box is ridiculed or marginalized by them with trashy non-intellectual soundbytes of a herd mentality.
 
During my travels, I have made impressions on others.  I’ve been on national news in three countries.  I have written travel guides that have been viewed by many.  And I’ve received hundreds of insightful fan letters from those who share my views and observations, which few have the courage to express publicly.  Fan sites and critic sites about me have been created as well, since I have become sort of an online public figure.  Businessmen have even offered to fly me abroad with them as their guide/translator.

 

Objectives

 
In this Happier Abroad Grand Ebook, I will reveal the life-changing romantic, social, psychological, cultural, and economic benefits beyond America that most Americans are unaware of, to help change lives and counter the media’s highly negative coverage of anything abroad.  I hope to inspire others who are dissatisfied in America to find love, happiness, and a better life abroad, giving them options that they otherwise wouldn't know about. I will accomplish this by presenting a mass assortment of experiences, observations, reasons, lessons, comparisons, photos, testimonials, quotes and comments from myself and many others, including other expats, foreigners, immigrants, and perpetual travelers. All of these sources are REAL life experiences by REAL life people.
 
I will also bring exposure to the dysfunctional anti-social culture in America that has left many lonely, isolated, alienated, insecure, depressed, empty, miserable, dateless, sexless, and suffering in silence, making the USA one of the worst places for social life, dating and mental health.  My solution is an overseas path and lifestyle that has proven to work for many, myself included, which has led many to dating, social and personal fulfillment abroad.
 
I hope that this information will inspire you and enlighten your perspective, providing hope and validation as it reveals forbidden silent truths that many have felt but few have dared to discuss.
 
Keep in mind though, that the observations and experiences that I describe in here are general rules, not absolutes.  I acknowledge that there are always exceptions to any general rule.
 
If you haven't yet, see this Checklist to see if this ebook is for you. And if you found the benefits in this Comparison Chart appealing, then this ebook is for you.
 
It is my contention that many in America are silently thinking, “Why do people around me seem so anti-social and dislike the company of others? Why does it often feel like there is nothing to do in America except make money and suffer stress? There’s something not right about all this” but that they are afraid to express these thoughts out of fear or ridicule, wondering instead, “Is there something wrong with me?” But deep down, many are subconsciously or instinctively dissatisfied or disappointed with these norms in modern US society.
 
In fact, my innermost thoughts in America have always been, “Gosh, my life here is so isolating, lonely, depressing, uneventful, sexless, loveless, dateless, and  funless as hell. But if complain about it, people will blame me, because they prefer to deny the reality of the segregation here. So I can’t even talk about it! Yet I KNOW for a fact  it is NOT my fault, but no one will listen! Instead, they wanna pretend that everything is great and everyone is friendly, and expect me to as well, regardless of the reality. How can I keep pretending that everything is great and that I’m happy, when reality is the opposite? I’m sick of wearing a fake mask for everyone, but what can I do?  What is the problem? Nothing seems to work! I feel powerless but at the same time I don’t wish to endure this either! What can I do?!”
 
Those were my constant thoughts during my 20 years of loneliness, datelessness and ostracization in America.
 
There are many out there who feel the same way we do, more than you might think. I know this because of all the hundreds of Fan Letters I receive (some of which are quoted in this ebook), people I talk to in person, and the folks who talk about it in my Online Community. 
 
Often, those who feel this way don’t know how to put these feelings into words. They say they can’t put a finger on what’s wrong, or are afraid to express them due to fear of condemnation, since our culture has a “victim-blaming mentality” where anyone who complains or doesn’t fit in is seen as “the problem”.  People have been socially programmed by society that the way things are is how it is supposed to be, and that everything outside the US can only be worse. But the good news is that nothing could be further from the truth and there are alternatives. There are many areas around the world where those these factors are reversed. Our media and society never talk about it. But we should cause it is important. So many men could be benefit if we did.
  
As far as I know, this is the ONLY ebook that provides an encyclopedia of serious and substantive reasons and comparisons WHY one will be happier psychologically, socially and romantically beyond America, and why many are going overseas. Other expatriate sites are merely resources that provide practical information for expats already living abroad (such as the ones here). They cover mostly economic concerns, jobs and politically correct topics. They do nothing to CONVINCE or INSPIRE those who aren’t informed about the benefits of living abroad, while HappierAbroad does exactly that.  In short, they only deal with the HOW, while we deal with the WHY. As any sensible person knows, the WHY should be dealt with before the HOW. The reason they don’t deal with the WHY is because they have to do with taboo and politically incorrect areas you aren’t supposed to talk about.
 
But we at HappierAbroad hold TRUTH and HAPPINESS as our highest ideals, not political correctness. We cover truths that other expat and travel sites are afraid to touch.  That’s what makes this ebook unique and special. 
 
Unlike the typical clicheish media propaganda story of an immigrant who fled oppression and poverty in a foreign country to find freedom, opportunity, and a better life in America, which you’ve probably heard too many times already, this ebook is quite the opposite. It basically contains the following: 
 
  1. A compilation of observations and comparisons of life in the US vs. abroad with regards to culture, social life, dating/love life, and mental health, which I reveal are far better, more wholesome and natural overseas.
  2. Why and how an Asian American misfit like me fled social oppression, alienation, cultural persecution, loneliness, boredom and a sexless sterile existence in a hype-driven fake consumer culture to find freedom, self-expression, wholeness, connectedness, cultural enrichment, a richer social/dating/love life, a higher social status, fulfillment, stimulation, adventure, etc. in foreign countries.
  3. A collection of essays against the hype, consumerism, and rat race workaholic nature of American life and culture, which poisons and empties the soul as well as health.
  4. A compilation of comments and opinions from immigrants, foreigners, travelers, and expatriates that are discussed privately, but which you will NEVER hear in the conventional public media.  
 
The observations and comparisons I make in this ebook Happier Abroad are based on my experiences abroad in the regions of America, Europe, Russia, Mexico, and Asia, the hundreds of people I’ve met on my travels, the experiences of perpetual travelers, and others who have written me over the years.
 
The objective is to INFORM people who are dissatisfied in America, that there IS an alternative BEYOND America where they don’t have to put up with an anti-social, isolating, workaholic, consumerist, fake artificial and sexless lifestyle. 
 
One of my readers summed up America perfectly with this sentence:
 
“America is a country that is built for doing business, not for living life.”
 
Amen to that. And in fact, I and many others could write volumes on that sentence (which I already have here of course) and give so many examples to support it.
 
The most important discovery I’ve made during my travels is this:
 
Beyond North America, the social atmosphere is much more natural and free flowing (in most places)
 
For a breathtaking quick visual glimpse of what I’m talking about, see this Photo Collage.
 
I guess a secondary objective is to warn impending immigrants planning to come to America that what they will face is different from the rosy picture that Hollywood and America’s propagandists paint.  In reality, most immigrants who come to the US do not see it as a win-win situation where everything is better. Instead, they either have mixed feelings about it, or regret it.  Common complaints they have are feelings of isolation and stress.  For examples, see these interviews reported in Little India magazine. There you will see that even those who work with immigrants on a daily basis through organizations report that most of them are unhappy with coming here or have mixed feelings about it.  For many more quotes and comments from immigrants, see this page.
 
Now, I acknowledge that in America, we enjoy certain freedoms, such as freedom of speech and religion.  However, it is a mental and psychological prison where the mass populace are dumbed down and mind controlled.  It is a culture where there is little to do but work to death while living in stress and isolation.  Entertainment in America is often a fake commercialized type of “fun” (e.g. Disneyland).  And as mentioned above, the terrible social scene and mental health just don’t make it worth it for soulful people like me, regardless of how much money you make, when there are better alternatives out there.
 
If my objectives resonate with you, then please help share this movement by forwarding the link to HappierAbroad.com to others you know who could benefit from it.  Or print out and distribute these Pamphlets.  There are millions of American males living in frustration, loneliness, and quiet desperation that you could help by doing so.
 

How I was “saved abroad” once before:  Foreshadowing in my life

 

Just as in literature when “foreshadowing” is used to predict an oncoming significant event in the story or character’s life, real life itself often contains clues that foreshadow our adult destinies, if we are keen enough to see them.  I have noticed some in my life too.  For instance, at 17, to escape a nightmarish dysfunctional hellish environment in high school, where I could no longer function or study, I went overseas at to my native country of Taiwan for a whole year, where I felt accepted and whole within a supportive environment.  This served to rejuvenate me and accelerate my mental, emotional and spiritual growth, allowing the “real me” to emerge from its shell which for years could not emerge due to the socially persecutory and psychologically oppressive environment of high school in America.  After that, I suddenly became more communicative and expressive than ever before.  A “new me” emerged, literally, as though my soul was “replaced”.  (You can read more about it here)

 

In spite of this though, I was brainwashed at the time by US culture to believe that it was the greatest and coolest in the world, so I wanted to return to the US again.  Nevertheless, the rejuvenation allowed me to complete high school and then years of college after that.  Upon graduation and into adulthood, as I slowly began to see the dysfunction, madness and artificial nature of US culture and society, even without the persecution of high school, I became more and more alienated and psychologically fragmented.  So again, I began looking for meaning and alternatives.  Eventually that led me abroad once again, where I made wonderful discoveries that years later led to the creation of HappierAbroad and its messages.

 

So you see, the year in Taiwan when I was 17 was a sort of “foreshadowing” of my life and destiny to come.

 

All my life growing up in California I had unnatural and weird social problems that made no sense.  There was no logical way to solve them, and my peers could only give highly subjective and ambiguous advice such as “Act more cool.  Look more cool.  Get a makeover.  Walk with confidence.” Etc. which never really worked cause they were unnatural, subjective, artificial and tried to get you to be something you’re not.  My parents even took me to professional psychiatrists, therapists and counselors.  But despite all their years of academic training, all they would do is listen to me and offer some medication to help. They offered no solutions or remedies.  They were not intellectuals who could think outside the box.  I was told the “party line” that the problem was within me, that I had to “fix” something in myself.  I was the problem, not society or the culture.  That was the illusion. You can read the story of my 20 years of loneliness and datelessness in America, in which I tried everything to no avail, here.

 

Some even suggested that the solution to my hopeless dating and ostracization problems in America was to become GAY! (So to these ignorant Americans, even changing your sexual orientation was a solution preferable to going abroad?! Not that I could have anyway, as I have not the slightest attraction to guys).  Thank God they were wrong.  It seems that most Americans are so entrenched in their belief that America is where it all happens that going beyond the USA Matrix never occurs to them.

 

NONE of them ever told me that my weird social problems could be solved by GOING ABROAD!  Such solutions were outside their universe and paradigm. 

 

In the final analysis, GOING ABROAD was what saved me, transformed me, and changed my life, not the BS advice I received from peers and psychiatrists in the States.  Bottom line is that overseas, I FEEL GOOD about myself, and that’s the most important thing.

 

I never felt accepted by American culture, never fit in, and never felt comfortable in its social or dating environment at all.  Hence I was always seeking an alternative, which I found at first in New Age groups; they satisfied me intellectually and spiritually, but not socially, culturally, romantically or sexually of course.  I had an insatiable appetite for adventure, freedom and romance that a spiritual life or even therapy in America could not fulfill.  Thus, I needed a bigger change, and that answer finally came about from going ABROAD.  It was only then that I found the fulfillment and joy that I’ve always wanted but couldn’t get in America.  It was only then that my dreams and fantasies, which weren’t possible in America, came true. This ebook explains why and how, as well as the observations, insights and comparisons I gradually discovered.

 

Why we can’t look to the US media for truth about a better life abroad

 

Throughout the years I’ve been working on this site and ebook, people often write to me, “Wow I agree with everything you wrote.  The thing is, I thought I was the only one who felt that way.  I didn’t know anyone else did too!” (examples here) as if their feelings are suddenly validated by the revelations in my writings.  Now that’s great, but we might wonder how so many could feel this way but not know that anyone else did too.  The reasons are, I think: 

 

1)      Most people who feel dissatisfied or out of place in America tend to blame themselves, for our culture teaches that the misfit or complainer is “the problem”, and not the culture or country. (but upon reading this ebook many say they realize they were not the problem after all, American culture was)

2)      The US media NEVER covers or reports on any of the things I write on this site/ebook for it’s not in their interest to, for their job, according to insiders and media critics, is to dumb down the population and make them live in fear and paranoia, so they will overwork and overconsume..

3)      Most people who feel this way are too afraid to express it out of fear of condemnation, of being seen as a freak or told that there’s something wrong with them.  After all, people don’t like exposing their weaknesses, being seen as misfits or weird outcasts.

4)      Many who feel this way simply lack the ability to express it or can’t find the words to do so, since after all, we are not socially conditioned in American society to think or say such things, even if we feel them.

 

In reality, there are many real life stories and experiences such as mine, but our corporate-controlled, feminist media isn’t interested in them.  They only see within the parameters of its rat race/workaholic mentality and hype-driven consumer culture.  The US media doesn’t teach us to think at all, but tells us what to think.  From its tone and opinions that come at you, the US media assumes that everyone in its audience is a narrow conformist like themselves are.  

 

In addition, our media tries to indoctrinate you into believing that our nation is the center of the world where everyone wishes to come, and the most ideal, containing ALL the parameters of your life choices. (And that’s funny since the US is only 5 percent of the world; What a narrow minded media)  America is portrayed as the “universe” where all can come to have freedom, opportunity, and a better life.  There is no other alternative in our media’s eyes.  Everything outside of America is portrayed as inferior, miserable, poor, oppressed, and dangerous.  There’s also the assumption that anything not possible in America is not possible anywhere. 

 

This book will show point-by-point that the US media’s stereotype is wrong and inaccurate.  In fact, the US media doesn’t teach you anything about the outside world beyond America.  It only shows you disasters and dumb things about celebrity lives, telling you nothing of the positive benefits overseas.  Therefore they are a bad source of information for those wishing to go abroad or seeking happiness overseas.  After all, the media is not in the business of selling tourism. 

 

Every year over 300,000 Americans leave the country to move overseas, and more than a million go for lengthy stays, according to a new book Getting Out: Your Guide to Leaving America  But the US government and media never look into it to find out WHY expatriates relocate abroad.  Instead, they act as though this increasing phenomenon doesn’t exist.  They prefer to portray going abroad in a negative light, covering sad stories of people going abroad to meet tragic fates.  So I’ve decided to take it into my hands to be the one to explain the reasons to the country and to the world, using my own transformed life as an example.

 

Since the life-changing TRUTHS and SECRETS unknown to most Americans presented here will NEVER be covered by the US news media, nor even acknowledged to exist by them, it is up to ALL OF US to share these life-changing secrets with others.

 
Preliminary notes

 
Keep in mind that this ebook is not for the politically correct, as they may be offended or repulsed by these observations and comparisons, but for truth-seekers and those who are willing to think “outside the box” and seek a better life.
 
Please keep in mind that the dissertations and observations expressed here are only general rules, not absolutes.  I acknowledge that exceptions exist for every general rule, and that readers can always cite exceptions to any general rule with examples of their own.  Thus, absolutes are not claimed here, only patterns and tendencies.
 
I should also clarify that though this ebook may sound “anti-American”, it is not intended to be. It is simply about the truth, which is that for me and many others, America has one of the worst cultures for social life, dating, mental health, family harmony, etc. and that there are better alternatives in other cultures. In fact, the overseas solution has proven to be the BEST one that has proven consistently to work for the average decent guy.
 
This book began when I started writing it as an article for a local newspaper back in 2003 which promised to publish it but then changed its mind (no surprise). Back then, it was only 20 pages long. Since then, I've revised and expanded it many times over the years, adding new observations, insights, comparisons and quotes from readers and forum posts, to the point where its size has now reached book-length. Therefore, you may notice that the many chapters in it are repetitive or seem out of order. This is because the chapters were not written in order, but added in different places as they were written. I apologize if any of that becomes annoying.
 
This is not a guidebook telling you what to do.  In fact, no one can rightly tell you what to do with your life.  There is no magic formula or single path that is right for everyone. Everyone has their own path, destiny and karma that is gradually discovered through progressive revelation. One only needs the courage, vision and inspiration to “go for it” and find their true path and calling. Thus no one person, no matter how brilliant or experienced, really knows what is “right” for another. To presume that they do would be foolish. However, there is nothing wrong with simply sharing one’s observations, experiences and discoveries for others to consider and reflect on.
 
One thing I’ve learned is that as you travel abroad, you begin to realize that your view of your country from outside of it is very different than from inside of it. In a country, you tend to think within its insular environment and vibe. But outside of it, you are able to view it from a more detached viewpoint. As with anything, you tend to view something much more clearly when you're out of it than when you are in it. In fact, many Americans have reported that after spending extensive time abroad, that they find American culture to be a lot more fake and superficial in comparison now than before. Therefore, keep in mind that your perspective will change from now as you travel internationally more.
 
So thank you for your time and interest. I hope this ebook will help expand your mind, culture and life.
 
Should you wish to discuss any of the contents of this ebook with others, you may do so in my Online Community at http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/index.php
 
Sincerely,
Winston Wu

 

·        Open to contributions:  If you have an idea, observation or chapter that you feel would make a good contribution to this ebook, you can send it to me at WWu777us@yahoo.com.

 

Note:  If you feel inspired or enriched by this ebook, you can help support us by joining one of our Dating Sites or ordering my Russia Trilogy Videos.

  

  

  

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Get the Package Deal - Best Value! Only $24.99. Comes with the additional 3 Ebooks below:

 

1)  The Happier Abroad Guide to International and Global Dating – A step-by-step guide that covers planning, preparation, decision-making, factors to consider, choosing the right country, cultural compatibility, meeting and dating foreign women, making a living overseas, adapting to different cultures, etc. 

2)  Winston's Guide to Traveling and Dating in Russia For Men – Everything I know about traveling and dating in Russia from my 3 years of firsthand experience is contained here in this informative how-to guide, including how to get around, communication, basic necessities, dealing with obstacles, short cuts, tips and tricks, important contact info, and other great advice.

3)  Expatriate Insights – By my Expat Advisor Ladislav, aka “The Socrates of Expatriate Life”. Truthful insights on Expatriate Living, Cross-Cultural Relations and Deep Comparative Culture Analyses that will take your understanding to the advanced level. It is unrivaled in scope and depth. Click here to sample Ladislav’s writings in his Blog.

 

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