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HAPPIER
ABROAD Why
Dating, Social Life and Mental Health are Better Beyond
Why America
is bad for Social Life, Dating and Mental Health
Note: This is an
expansion of my one page Pamphlet
and home page intro, which I am writing
as a script for a YouTube video I'm working on.
Video script: Three Taboo Truths in
Hello, my name is
Winston Wu, founder of HappierAbroad.com, the most truthful and unique expat
dating site on the web.
Today I'm going to be
talking about 3 taboo truths in
But since they affect
many people, I feel that they should be addressed, rather than ignored or
denied.
So let's begin.
1) There is no sense of
human connection in
- Every man is an
island. There's no feeling of connection with others. Instead, there is a
psychological wall around people that you can sense and feel. There's a
definite “ice barrier” between strangers, hence we have the term "breaking
the ice". This is something that's very obvious. You can see it everywhere
out in public. Yet no one dares call attention to it for some reason.
And it's not about who
you are either. Even if you're attractive and have a lot of friends, as a third
person you can still see that this is the way things are between people out in
public.
- People are socially
engineered to be anti-social, segregated and paranoid of each other. Most don't
even know their neighbors. Thus they are difficult to truly connect with. One
feels alone even in crowded places. People are generally uptight and feel
awkward and uncomfortable about meeting others.
- Groups are generally
non-inclusive. You can see this when you go out in public. People generally
only socialize within the group they're with. You see, in America, you can't
just "go out and meet people". It doesn't work that way, despite what
you see on TV and in the movies. So if you go out alone, you usually stay
alone.
- Greetings are polite
and superficial. People will ask "How are you" when they don't really
care how you are, yet they will always expect you to say that you're
"great" or "fine".
2) The dating scene is
a total nightmare for men.
Now this is a very
taboo area in particular because there is an unspoken rule in
However, I am not here
to be politically correct, so let’s cut the bull and just go to the truth:
- In
- Females are not
feminine or sweet. You can see this in their looks, personality, demeanor and
dress style. They don't even giggle or blush. And they're not even sweet, but
tough and unfeeling.
- Worst of all, they
seem to have this strong psychological resistance to intimate relationships
with males. You can sense this in their attitudes and interactions with males. Often
when they start getting close or intimate, they suddenly back off and drop
things cold.
- They also blow off
men who are interested in them as though it were a routine and expected maneuver.
This is indicative that male/female relationships and dating are not natural in
- The women are often
unapproachable, defensive and paranoid, so they are not even easy to meet. Men
do not feel comfortable or natural trying to meet them. Hence few guys have the
guts to approach attractive females, not cause they lack courage, but because
the females carry a vibe that they don’t want to be approached.
- They also have an
off-chart sense of entitlement, and seem to think that they deserve the best of
the best in everything, as if they were some kind of royalty. No man likes
that. It's unfeminine and unsweet. And it puts unrealistic demands and
expectations on the men.
Yet these
"entitlement queens" do not think that they need to treat men good in
return. It's a complete one way double standard. But you aren't allowed to
complain about it lest you be called a sexist or chauvinist.
- In fact the whole
male/female dynamic is totally out of whack, in more ways than I can describe. Male/Female
energies and behaviors do not complement each other at all, but are
dysfunctional, conflicting and totally out of balance and harmony. This is
obvious to any honest observant person.
- Men do not feel
wanted or needed, and that's a bad thing which affects their self-esteem. Who
wants to feel unwanted and unneeded?
Also, a man's niceness
is not rewarded, but spat upon. You might have heard the term "Nice guys
finish last"? Well nowhere is that more true than in
Now if you ask me, any
society that looks down upon niceness is one Fucked up dysfunctional mess. No
question about it.
- There are more lonely
frustrated dateless guys in
3) The artificial
culture erodes your self-worth and sanity.
- You are conditioned
to feel insecure and unworthy, to keep you weak and easy to control, through a
series of subtle subliminal messages. You are definitely are not conditioned to
feel whole and complete in
Of course, if you were
whole and complete, you couldn't be controlled or manipulated. So they try to
manufacture an emptiness inside of you.
- You are taught to
fill this emptiness by living to work and consuming endless junk you don’t
need. That's why the model citizen in
They perpetuate this
myth that making money and buying endless junk will make you happy, which is
false. As Wayne Dyer said, "There is no way to happiness. Happiness is the
way."
But in truth, the key
to happiness is not in your productivity and wealth. It's in your outlook and
attitude, quality of relationships, and having healthy balances, just enough,
in the areas of life that are most important to you.
- The social culture is
like a mask of fakeness that you can never really “be yourself” in. You're
expected to always act happy like everything is great. That's why when you go
to work, people ask "How are you?" and you always have to answer
"Fine" or "Not bad", even if you're feeling like shit. It's
very unnatural and fake.
In such an environment,
how can you ever be your true self, or even know your true self?
- Many develop phony or
unnatural personalities to compensate for their inferiority complexes. You can
see this in a lot of people in
This is especially true
with minorities. If you look at black people in
Such a difference is
very noticeable, one of many in fact, but of course you will NEVER hear about
it in the media or any large scale magazine. It's way too TABOO to mention.
- These aspects of the
artificial American culture is very undermining to one’s psychological balance
and wholeness. In other words, it's detrimental to your mental health.
Implications and
Solutions:
These three
dysfunctional conditions culminate to make America one of the WORST, if not the
worst, countries for Social Life, Dating and Mental Health, and explain why it
has the HIGHEST rates of mental illness and loneliness in the industrialized
world (look it up or see the stats on my site).
Yet
But the truth is that the problem does not lie in the
victims, but in the dysfunctional society itself, evidenced by the fact that for
many sufferers, these problems alleviate once they are in different
cultures, which I demonstrate on my website.
You see, many mainstream
people do not see the truth the way it actually is. They filter everything
through what I call "politically correct lenses" which are designed
to focus only on nice and simple practical things. That's why they can't
mentally recognize anything negative about other people, cultures or society,
even the most obvious things. It's not that such negative aspects don't exist.
Of course they do. But people are conditioned to not generalize or stereotype
negative attributes to others, even if they're true. This applies to many in
the world, not just in
That's why many in the
mainstream are not able to mentally recognize the obvious truths above. Their
"politically correct lenses", which only focus on positive and
practical things, filter them out.
Now there is nothing
wrong with being polite and not wanting to offend others. That's part of our
social conditioning and is usually a good thing. But if it ends up filtering
out the truth from your world view, especially when it comes to acknowledging
serious problems, then it may not be such a good thing after all.
Plus most people are
not that perceptive when it comes to other people, relationships, culture and
psychology. They are not accustomed to analyzing such things, and lack the depth
and insight to make assessments in those areas. Instead they are trained by
society to focus and deal with practical issues, like food, money, physical
objects and structures. So their common sense is primarily in pragmatic areas.
Another factor is that
those who do recognize these obvious truths are afraid to mention them openly
because it makes them look like maladjusted losers, and plus they know that the
politically correct mainstream will mentally resist these truths too. They know
this instinctually.
Nevertheless, you can
take solace at least, in that NONE of it is your fault. As the great Indian
sage Jiddu Krishnamurti stated, "It is no measure of health to be well
adjusted to a profoundly sick society."
So the next question
is: What can we do about all this?
Well we can expose it
publicly, like I'm doing now. But what else can we do about it? Can I just go
out and change the whole fabric of American society? Of course not.
BUT I can tell people
that there's a SOLUTION to all this!
And that solution is:
You can simply go abroad to other cultures and environments where these conditions
are better or reversed.
However, such an idea
strongly goes against our conventional wisdom and paradigm.
You see, when you have
a problem, you are taught to stay put and try to solve it, cope with it, or
improve on it. Running away is seen as escapist and cowardly. So we all first
ask ourselves, "How can I fix my situation so that it will be better? What
improvements can I make?" When you go to a therapist for instance, they're
gonna suggest you to learn coping skills rather than tell you to go somewhere
else where things are better. That's our "mental prism" so to speak,
and few can think outside the box.
And that's fine. But
you gotta look at the scope of what you're up against. For example, if you were
standing on a sinking ship or in the path of an oncoming freight train, would
you stay put and tough it out, or would it be more sensible to escape from it?
In this case, the
individual can't change the dysfunctional
Plus there is no real
solution, not even from the PUA or self-help movements, that any average person
can simply take and consistently and reliably turn around his Dating, Social
Life and Mental Health with guaranteed results. None.
You see, in order to
validly claim that something WORKS, it has to WORK for any average person
reliably and consistently, not just for a few or a minority. Otherwise, it
doesn't work. Simple as that. I mean, if a computer program only worked 10
percent of the time, would you say that it "works"? Would you sell it
or promote it?
Yet NONE of the
remedies and techniques of any of the PUA or self-help movements out there
fulfills this criteria.
But the overseas
solution DOES!
You see, every male
expat living overseas who has dated there is of the unanimous opinion that his
relationships, social life and mental health are far better than they were in
Obviously, this means
that ANY average Joe (with no a-hole personality or mental problems) can turn
their life around using this path as their solution. Thus it REALLY WORKS.
But you don't usually
hear about it cause it's taboo and goes against the grain. Well now you have.
So, why does the
overseas solution work? Because in most foreign countries, the taboo truths
above are the exact OPPOSITE:
1) There is a natural
sense of social connectedness.
- The social
environment is more open and inclusive. It is easy and natural to meet and
connect with others. There is an instant familiarity between strangers rather
than an ice barrier. People do not have a "keep out" wall or vibe
around them.
So even when you go out
alone, you can meet others. It feels natural and part of the flow. You don't
need any artificial "social skills or techniques". You can just be
your pro-social open self and it happens.
- With a feeling of
natural connectedness, you do not feel alone even when you are physically
alone.
- Friendships and bonds
are truer. A spirit of camaraderie exists between people that you don’t find in
2) Relationships are
wholesome and dating happens naturally.
- Women are generally
feminine, sweet and modest. They dress, look and act feminine. Girls giggle and
blush, like real girls do.
-bThey are more
approachable and easier to meet. Compliments flatter them and do not creep them
out. They are enthusiastic about dating.
- Females do not have
any psychological block or resistance toward relationships with males, but seek
it and dream of it. Deep down, they respect and need men, providing love,
companionship and support.
- The men feel wanted
and needed. Their niceness is rewarded and it wins actual points too.
3) You feel accepted,
whole and good about yourself.
- The "real
you" is allowed to flourish with a natural sense of wholeness and oneness,
both inner and outer, which leads to a healthy psychological balance.
- People like you just
for you and accept you that way. You do not need to act “fake” or develop
inferiority complexes. People are far less artificial.
- When you have
problems, friends will listen and care. You do not need to go to a therapist.
Implications and
Conclusions:
Now isn't that the way
it should be?
So the obvious question
now is: Which of the two social environments described above -
Enough said.
Yet most Americans
never hear about these comparisons, for it goes against their indoctrination
that
So these comparisons
are never acknowledged publicly.
And that's what we are
here for, to disseminate this life-changing information to those in need (since
no one else will).
You see, I know that
once you go abroad and experience all this, your life will be changed forever!
The voluminous material
at my website demonstrate and prove all this conclusively, with an abundance of
testimonials, photos, videos, articles, ebooks, guidance and an online
community.
The Happier Abroad
movement has changed lives and inspired others, providing hope, validation and
a Proven Solution that has led people like you to Love, Social Connectedness
and Personal Fulfillment overseas, thus becoming “Happier Abroad".
So visit www.HappierAbroad.com today! And if
you have any questions, post them on my Forum.
Thanks for watching.
Discuss this article in this forum thread: http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=7052
Update! My video lecture based
on this script is now available to watch at:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5qAJhuocKeg
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