What America is good for and what it isn't

HAPPIER ABROAD Why Dating, Social Life and Mental Health are Better Beyond America

What America is good for and what it isn’t

Lately, there has been a lot of talk in the alternative press and internet about America becoming a warmongering fascist police state that is invading other countries without justification, causing massive loss of innocent life and taking away our liberties and freedoms.

There may be a some truth in that, but what isn’t commonly mentioned is that there are other big weaknesses, disadvantages, and negative aspects in America besides its fascist elite and shadow government as well, which hardly ever get discussed in public outlets outside of private conversations.

Thus, these anti-government protestors make it out to be as though without the tyranny of the government and corporate elite, America would be a perfect country that is great in every area and the freest country on Earth. That just isn’t so, for it has some strong social, psychological and spiritual weaknesses that immigrants and foreigners often observe and talk about, but which are totally ignored in the corporate media and public forums. For some reason, there is a deafening silence regarding them. Every country has its pros and cons, including America, so why are these “cons” ignored?

When problems in America are discussed publicly or in the corporate controlled media, it’s mostly always about economic problems, jobs and crimes, but hardly ever about the social life, dating scene or mental health of people, which are just as important if not more. After all, quality of life in terms of social, romantic and psychological areas, are important and affect one’s mental health, relationships, happiness, and reason for living.

So anyhow, here are the real life disadvantages, problems, and weaknesses in America that no one has the courage to publicly discuss, but exist nonetheless, and are important. Since others don’t have the guts to speak about them, I guess I will.

So, here in plain truth is what America is good for and what it’s not. Any honest well- traveled expat with vast international experience who tells it like it is, having no fear of political correctness will vouch for these as well.

What America is good for:

- Finding a job / Making money
- Religious freedom
- Privacy / Being left alone
- Quality / Efficiency / Customer service

What America is NOT good for:

- Dating women (love, romance, sex for men)
- Inclusive social scene / Connectedness
- Mental health / Psychological well being

Description of each of the above:

Advantages and Strengths:

Finding a job/ Making money – Finding work, if you’re serious and persistent, is relatively easy in America, as long as you play by the rules. It may not be your ideal position, but you can find a job that pays, if your standards aren’t too high. And the pay rate for any position, even at minimum wage, is relatively high compared to most of the world. And if you are a workaholic, you will fit into the corporate culture just fine and be rewarded for your conformity, performance and work ethic.

Religious freedom – In America, you can practice almost any religion you want, as long as you don’t harm other people or infringe upon others’ rights, or do anything illegal as part of your religious practice.

Privacy / Being left alone – If you like being alone, not bothered, and having your own space isolated in your own home, America is a good place for that, as privacy and isolation are the dominant norm in the social culture. As long as you have income and can pay your bills (or live with those who can) you can have all the privacy you want, especially in the US suburbs, which is very isolated and segregated by its nature. (yet paradoxically, if you have no friends or can’t get dates easily, then you are considered a loser by more shallow aspects of the pop culture).

Quality / Efficiency / Customer service – Compared to developing countries of the 2nd and 3rd world, American products, services and infrastructure are first rate and high quality. Generally things run efficiently in both the private and public sector. Competition and the workaholic lifestyle help make this so. There is constant pressure and strive for efficiency, and things are well defined, specific and structured logically. Communication is literal and articulate to minimize misunderstandings too. Generally, things are run and maintained with rigid quality control standards and laws.

In addition, customer service in the corporate and business sector is superb, speedy, and quality controlled (in most cases at least, compared to the rest of the world). The motto that “the customer is always right” makes America very pro-consumer.America is also one of the few countries , even among industrialized nations, where you can get a full cash refund in retail stores for something you bought within a few weeks, whereas in othercountries you are only allowed to exchange your product if it was defective.

Disadvantages and Weaknesses:

Dating women (love, romance, sex for men) – Let’s face it, America has just about one of the ALL-TIME WORST dating scenes for men, if not THE WORST. It is a nightmarish hell of epic proportions and the whole process for men is one of the most frustrating and unnatural things in the world. See my essay about it here: http://www.happierabroad.com/introduction.php

So if you are a guy who enjoys being involved with beautiful women, hanging with them, dating them and making love to them (getting laid so to speak), you may find America to be one of the most frustrated, prudish and frigid places where you cannot unleash or express your desires, especially if you are just an average nice guy.

There are just SO MANY things and factors going against you in this area that make it extremely difficult or impossible, no matter what you do or how you act and project yourself. And this is the case even if you are good looking or wealthy.

But of course, all of this is taboo and forbidden to discuss publicly, because there is an unspoken Gospel Law in America that says that men are never to complain about women, who are innocent and can do no wrong. To do so would be anathema, regardless of the facts or reality. (after all, truth is anathema to the US media) And also, in any public discussion about men vs. women’s issues, the women must always come out on top, while men are to be shamed or laughed at as fools. Thus the media is biased only toward hearing the complaints of women, not men. Anyone who violates these politically correct boundaries will be attacked and condemned.

Nevertheless, the horrible lopsided dating scene for men in America is all too real, regardless of public denial and taboo. Here are examples of factors against men in the US dating scene:

- Women have become stuck up and paranoid, living in fear of male strangers, thinking that there are many psychos out there. All this is reinforced by the culture and media.
- Women are taught not to need men, but to look down on them and be independent instead. And in fact, many women on their day off prefer to be alone, walk their dog or visit a girlfriend rather than spend time with a man on a date. Any man who complains about this is considered “weak, needy or desperate”, thus the blame is shifted onto him.
- Women are not feminine anymore and in fact are conditioned to detest femininity. They neither act feminine nor dress feminine. This is a big turn off to most men, but most are afraid to complain about it because to do so would be taboo and politically incorrect. Also, they do not blush or giggle and are not moved by flattery.
- Women are very picky and hard to get. They have a sense of entitlement off the charts, and have a way of undermining men’s confidence and pussy-fying them. Getting a girlfriend or getting laid in America is HARD, and if you manage to get one every few years, you are considered “lucky”. Plus most women prefer only white men. Some like Blacks and Hispanics, but Asian men are in the worst position as polls show that they are favored the least by American women. (while Black women are favored the least by American men)
- More or less, something like 80 percent of the women go for the top 20 percent of the men, leaving 80 percent of men to settle, lower their standards drastically, or remain single. Clearly women have the upperhand, and they have all the power and choices, for the US is a woman’s market.
- Decent looking and above women who are not overweight in America are nearly unattainable to the average guy. In fact, to many guys’ standards, any girl who is not fat (or nerdy looking) is considered “hot”, sadly enough. The rest of the women who are overweight or unattractive have hateful angry personalities and demand that men submit to them (as they do on sitcom TV shows like Home Improvement).
- Most American women are either overweight or look/act too manly, thus making them physically unattractive to a man’s basic nature and taste. If she is thin or at least decent looking though, then she is almost never single (unless she wants to be or no one fits her standards), or she has loads of guys hitting on her to choose from, so that courting her feels like trying to win the lottery.
- Most average men in the US have a chance to get a girlfriend once every few years, so that they can have regular sex again. If she dumps him, he has to wait another few years, or longer. And that’s excruciating and it damn sucks as well. (But not so in most other countries) This is because meeting women in America is both hard and unnatural. You can’t just “go out there and get a girlfriend” as the cliché goes. In reality, American women are cliquey and don’t like talking to strangers (contrary to what Hollywood portrays), so you’ve got to meet them through school, work or mutual friends. Most people’s social interactions in America are limited through the connections of their clique (if they even have a clique). And even if you do meet them, you have to then pass her highly picky standards, or else she will just blow you off. To the average guy, this is a horrible nightmare where they have almost no choices or power at all. (whereas in some other countries, guys are living a dating paradise with many attractive choices) Worse yet, if you complain about it, you will be blamed and told that if you were worthy you’d get the women you want, so you must not deserve it.

With all that going against men in America’s dating scene, it’s no wonder that so many male expats overseas unanimously agree that foreign women are far better and that they’d never go back to trying to get American women again. With many of the above factors reversed, male expats find foreign women so refreshing beyond words, so that they ask themselves “Where have I been? Why didn’t I come here sooner?”

This is the one thing male expats who are dating or married to foreign women all agree about. Expats commonly talk about this in private conversations, but for some reason, it’s rarely ever mentioned in public media outlets, even on the internet, and even on expat websites, except for sites like HappierAbroad.com.

If you wish to contest any of this, then ask yourself this: Why there is such a large pickup artist community in America for frustrated chumps, whereas in other countries there isn’t? Why are there so many pickup artist gurus (Mystery, Ross Jeffries, David DeAngelo, etc.) with speed seduction books and websites, even offering seminars and training camps, for frustrated chumps who can’t get laid and can’t get chicks who have reached the end of the line? How come it’s not like that in other countries? Think about it.

Inclusive social scene / Connectedness – The social atmosphere and vibe in America is not generally inclusive, but highly exclusive and rigid. It just does not flow well. And most people, especially women, are uncomfortable talking to strangers. That’s why there is the term “break the ice” between strangers as an “ice wall” exists between people. Americans do not tend to be good at bonding with others, but meet for convenience and then go their separate ways when business is done. They are psychologically isolated and prefer being alone. Yet ironically, in shallower aspects of the pop culture, you are deemed a “loser” if you don’t have any friends and can’t get dates easily.

There is no sense of human connectedness at all in America. People are in isolated bubbles and only talk to you if it’s business-related. “Every man is an island” as they say. Thus, there is an inherent feeling of disconnectedness in America, which immigrants often notice immediately. (I’ve elaborated on this in my essay here: http://www.happierabroad.com/ebook/Page15.htm) Rather than an inherent sense of camaraderie like there is in most countries’ social atmosphere, there is an inherent sense of separateness and isolation in America instead. And that of course, is a breeding ground for loneliness and alienation, which contributes to lower self-esteem, increased feelings of insecurity, and poorer mental health, as we will discuss next.

Mental health / Psychological well being – It’s no secret that the US has the US has the highest rates of mental illness in the industrialized world (and perhaps in the whole world itself). Many studies and news reports have concluded this. For example:

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/5111202/

In some studies, the number of mentally ill in America has been estimated at a whopping 50 PERCENT!

http://nysun.com/editorials/are-we-really-ill?fark
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=3823

And studies show that Americans have fewer close friends now than ever before, as loneliness has become a national epidemic in the USA.

http://www.livescience.com/humanbiology/060331_loneliness.html
http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2006/06/22/AR2006062201763_pf.html

Obviously America is a lonely fragmented country that is hard to make friends in, nevermind getting dates as well. Thus it’s no wonder why so many Americans have to go to therapists and psychologists to talk about their problems (whereas in other countries, almost no one needs them), since they don’t have real friends who care about them enough to listen to them.

One can only speculate as to the reasons why there is so much mental illness in America, but there’s no doubt that the above mentioned disadvantages contribute to it. Americans are psychologically fragmented and disconnected. Due to this as well as other factors, being in America tends to make one feel more “insecure” about oneself. But we are told that feeling insecure is normal and that you should be strong and independent. But alas, it is not natural. How can feeling insecure by natural? If it were, then you would feel insecure and fragmented in most other countries as well, but you don’t.

So it’s no surprise why many visitors to the US remark that Americans as a whole do not look happy at all, despite being the richest nation on Earth, but instead look very grumpy, irritable and fat. As spiritual leader Jiddu Krisnamurti said, “It is no measure of health to be well adjusted to a profoundly sick society”

In most other countries, you feel more relaxed, less stress, and more “at one” and connected with everything. There is a wholesomeness and integration on the inside that you don’t have in America. It’s as if you were finally free to “be yourself”, and free from an insecure fake culture that forces you to be either a winner or loser in it. But in America, you feel alone, isolated, and insecure, like you’ve got to do something or else you’ll be trampled upon and looked down on.

Many expats, experienced travelers and immigrants I’ve known have concurred with this.

In summary, whether the strengths or weaknesses above matter to you more depends largely on your needs, values, priorities, personality and interests of course. But as for me, the three disadvantages of America mentioned above are more important to my quality of life than the pros listed. Hence, that is why I am “Happier Abroad”.

Discuss this article in this forum thread: http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=6405

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