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HAPPIER
ABROAD Why You Can Have A Better Life and Love Beyond
UPDATE, March
2007: Why I like Filipinas the best - as lovers, playmates, and best friends
There
is good news now. As I'm writing this
from the
Well it's simple, but it wasn't by changing "myself" (for I wasn't the problem). And it wasn't by changing my attitude, thoughts or going through some self-help/pop psychology/New Age program or seminar. In fact, I didn't even have to change myself or who I was. I just remained the same person. Instead, it was simply by changing my geographic LOCATION, environment and culture, entering another world so to speak. Let me explain.
In the US, no one talks to me except old people, I can't
get any dates at all, women are completely anti-social to me, strangers act
like I don't exist, and I am totally ignored and feel like I don't exist. Unfortunately, women in
So, with everything that I am suppressed, strangled, and invalidated, how could I possibly be happy or positive, when I can't be who I truly am or act out my nature of being an outgoing fun vibrant social butterfly? It's simply not possible, nor is it natural.
But
on the other hand, here in the
Best of all, these sweet cuties and angels in turn see me as attractive, handsome, cute, interesting, charming, significant to them, etc. etc. and that completely VALIDATES who I am! I completely exist and matter to the women that I'm ATTRACTED to here! And that's HUGE! It means more than words can say. Everyday here, I feel like Brad Pitt or Tom Cruise! Literally. No exaggerating here.
Thus, I am finally allowed to be the social butterfly that I am, as well as positive, confident, optimistic and happy. How can I not be, when all my fantasies and desires and wants/needs are being fulfilled here, naturally and with the flow too!? Simply put, who I am is ACCENTUATED here, rather than invalidated or suppressed.
Some people here even say that I'm the most positive and
confident person they've ever met. (If only
they knew where I was coming from!) The
difference is astounding. It's like a
completely different universe where I'm a completely different person. The magnitude of my dating life here is
literally "out of this world" (out of the world of
Critics and prejudiced Americans will commonly charge that the women here, as well as in most foreign countries, like me for money and a green card to the US. However, they are wrong because: (please read these ten bulleted points carefully)
1) Many girls here don't care about my money
and STILL like/love me even after I tell them that I’m on a budget and very
frugal. They like and enjoy my funny, sweet, sappy, positive,
enthusiastic personality.
2) This is probably the biggest
reason, and my cultural consultant, a long time visitor to the
3) I’ve slept with both bar
girls and normal girls for FREE, simply cause they liked me and found me sweet,
romantic, tender and charming! They never asked me for any money!
Imagine that. That could never happen to me in the States. That
proves right there that they aren’t after me only for money, but that I am very
sweet, likable and charming to them. And I’ve gotten free kisses
here from many girls too, including French kisses (and NO, they don’t do
that to every guy!).
4) A few girls here (but not most) have
told me that I’m not their type, for they like white guys or bigger masculine
guys. And conversely, I’ve seen some
reject white guys in favor of me, because I’m more of the type they like and go
for. Now, if it were all about “money
and a green card”, then “type” wouldn’t matter now would it? But it does, because taste, romantic
chemistry, and attraction matter as well.
5) Filipinas have shown favoritism toward
me over other older richer guys or customers. (I can't get into
details about how since it wouldn't be appropriate to describe here :))
This also proves that they don't like me just for money, since I am
treated better, given favoritism and preferentail treatment over other guys who
have more money than me, due to my higher likeability. I have a fun
loving free-spirited personality that a lot of Filipinas resonate with, as well
as a sweet romantic side, and a face they find young and handsome
(gwapo).
6) I've been able to get acquainted and
befriend middle class girls here who have enough money themselves not to need a
guy (which I can't do in the states). Sure, the middle or upper class
girls aren't easy to "pick up" in public, but they find me
interesting and likable too, once they get to know me. And they are willing
to spend personal time with me, unlike girls in the
7) There are some guys here with looks and
money who don’t do well at all with Filipinas.
I know one good looking American guy here with a good income from an
international job, and my cultural consultant knows a good looking young French
guy here with a successful art business.
Yet believe it or not, both of them can’t get a real girlfriend in the
8) Now, think about this. If it were all about money or a green card,
then why aren’t poor foreign men seeking out American women the way that poor foreign
women are? And why aren’t there websites or matchmaking agencies out there for
foreign men seeking American women? It’s because there isn’t a market for it.
Very few foreign men would want an American woman, even to get into the
9) From my experience with gold diggers and
users in Russia and the Philippines, I’ve come to recognize their common
patterns, such as the way they manipulate and tell lies, the way they tell you
what you want to hear yet their actions contradict their words, and their
tendency to ask for money within the first day or week of knowing you. And what I can tell you is that MOST of the
girls who like me here do NOT exhibit these traits.
10) A high percentage of
Filipinas I get involved with tend to like to bite me and pinch me. I was told that they only do that to you if
they LIKE you. Certainly if they only
wanted to use me, they wouldn’t be biting and pinching me. They only do that to those they like or find
adorable, cute, or cuddly.
What you’ve gotta understand is that it’s not a simple
case of “these women are friendlier to you cause they are poor and need your
money.” I mean, yes money is a factor
here. But what’s being overlooked here
is that the poor are unspoiled and dependent, so they often have to cultivate
good inner qualities in their personalities and behaviors to get what they
need, and to compensate for their lack of material assets, especially since
they have interdependent relations with others.
In other words, they have learned to treat others nicely to get ahead,
whereas someone who already has it all doesn’t need to be nice and can afford
to be spoiled, stuck up and treat others badly.
So that’s another reason why poor people are nicer. It’s not cause they only want your money,
though money is an indirect cause of this, but it has more to do with their
character being developed differently than ours.
Some guys see everything in terms of money and
economics. Well I’m not one of those guys of course, for I consider many
other deeper factors. Not every guy with money can duplicate everything
I’ve done. Looks, personality, attitude, and chemistry are strong factors
too, and in this culture, I rank high in those areas to them, even in the looks
department since I am far closer to the ideal male image here than I am to the one
in the states. That’s why I often get
preferential treatment from girls here over richer guys not as personable or
likable. In reality, human beings are very complex, and don’t fit into
overly simplistic pet theories like “She just wants you for money”. So
these one shot labels put together by shallow know-it-all people to try to
explain other people just don’t hold. Perhaps these guys are “all about
money” themselves, so they can’t help but assume that everyone else is
too. But they can only speak for themselves, not for others.
Oddly enough, there are some women (and men) who
genuinely believe that giving money is a demonstration and sign of true
love. These folks see no shame in
“buying love” and are proud to utter the phrase “no money, no honey”. Such women will even ask for money from a man
she truly loves, seeing nothing wrong with it.
But of course, I do not share their values. An effective way I’ve found, to weed these
types out is to simply tell them that you are poor and on a tight budget, and
act like it. If they disappear after
that, then you know what they were probably after. If not, then you’ve got a more genuine girl. Needless to say, if you want to impress
somebody, you don’t have to take them to a fancy restaurant everyday; rather,
mix it up with several days of going to fast food or cooking at home. A nice sweet Filipina will appreciate that.
If you think though, that all my experiences here are
with money grubbing whores, think again. Make no mistake, I can and have
gotten NON-WORKING girls to sleep with me on a regular basis. So, please
don’t assume all my experiences are with whores. Unlike in
Sure, there are old fat white drunkards with money
here who are also sleeping with “hot girls” too. However, there are two
primary differences between them and me – 1) They usually have to pay girls to
be with them and/or send financial support to their families, 2) Their dating
field is usually limited to the bar girls or whores, and they cannot get dates
with normal Filipinas or pick up girls in normal public settings, whereas I can
easily get dates in non-bar settings.
Anyway, some of the relationships I have here even
eclipse the romances portrayed in Hollywood films, to the point where when I watch
them, I say to myself, "I have a lot better than that in real
life!" And that's something I could
NEVER EVER have said in the
Believe it or not, some girls here have even said that
I’m TOO HANDSOME for them! And that
because of that, they don’t trust me! In
their view, they explain, handsome men have many girls and don’t stick to one,
and thus can’t be trusted. Thus, they
prefer average looking men who are more likely to be anonymous, as they don’t
like the drama of being in love with a guy who has many girls. Imagine that!
No one in the
The most significant
difference for me is this: When I am
sociable and outgoing to girls in the
Likewise, the biggest
difference between my life in the
In short, here I LIVE the kind of love life I’ve
always DREAMED of!
In my opinion, Filipinas
make the best girlfriends, lovers, and friends.
Compared to females in the other Asian countries, they aren't as strict,
serious, prudish or hung up. Instead,
they are more relaxed, carefree, happy-go-lucky, easygoing, playful, passionate
and sensual. They are also very nonjudgmental
and nonracist. And they have a great
sense of humor, enjoying the silliest things which easily amuse them. Thus, you can always have fun and joke around
or play with them, even if you have nothing else to talk about. That's so nice and refreshing, especially
when you are so accustomed to antisociality and hostility from women in the
Best of all, they LOVE to
flirt. When I flirt with girls in the
Filipinas are also a great
blend of outer and inner traits.
Ethnically, they are Asian, Malay and Spanish, resulting in a very
exotic and beautiful mix that is very pleasing and sensual to the eyes. Their exotic sexy sensual olive complexion
ranges from light to dark shades, all of which are sexy to me and many other
foreigners here. And their attractive
highly feminine appearance is combined with a tender romantic loving/caring
inner side to them – a fantastic blend to say the least.
The way they treat you and touch you is
just so sensual and fulfilling. They
have this warm tender touch that white women definitely don’t have (not to
sound racist). I’ve experienced it and
can understand now why so many foreign men are addicted to the
Thus, I’d say that even if you didn’t have a taste for
Filipinas or Asian women before, if you come to the
Not only are most Filipinas
either hot or cute, and passionate and tender in bed, but their personality is
so soothing, gentle, easy-going and accommodating that they are like my best
friends too. They are just so
comfortable to be around, in a way that you could never imagine possible in the
West.
They are also a great blend of White and Asian
traits. Their Spanish blood makes them
much more wild, relaxed, passionate and expressive than Orientals such as the
Chinese, Japanese, or Koreans, who are non-expressive, robotic and overly
serious and strict in comparison. And
they have big round eyes that are considered attractive in Western Culture
(although to my surprise, my slanted Asian eyes are considered more attractive
in Filipino culture than their big round eyes are). They have all the physical beauty of thin
feminine Asian women in light and dark colors (“vanilla and chocolate” so to
speak), as well as their humble, modest, sweet, pleasing, soothing romantic
nature. The only drawbacks to them are
that they don’t like to think much, don’t like to answer questions or provide
explanations when asked to do so, and are sometimes moody and quiet for unexplainable
reasons that they refuse to discuss. It
seems in their nature to be that way.
Thus you don’t get much intellectual stimulation with them. But the good news is that it’s much easier to
train and educate them than it is to teach a Westernized woman to be sweeter
and more loving.
Although Filipinas aren't
as intellectual, educated, or deep-thinking as the European women are, they
make up for it in their other qualities.
They have this essence about them, warm sensual tenderness and a way of
treating you that makes you feel needed and loved, like a real man, in a way
that you had always wished and dreamed deep down but never dared hoped
for. It's beyond words - something you
have to feel and experience as a man to understand. And when you do, you realize it's what you
had always wanted.and even friends. They
are tender, sweet, passionate and fun.
In a way, it's like they
give new birth to your heart, for if your heart had lost faith in love,
they awaken it and renew it with their child-like hope and belief in love,
making it a reality for you, and making you a believer again as well.
The bottom line for me is that here in the
Philippines, I feel APPRECIATED, ACCEPTED, VALUED, DESIRED, WANTED, LIKED,
LOVED, NEEDED, etc. whereas in
Basically, it’s like this: Here, there is ALWAYS ACTION to be had, so I
am never bored. I can always go out,
have fun, get hot girls, and any type of action I want or need, ANYTIME! Contrast that to back in the states, where I
was forced to stay home all the time, as no one wanted to meet me if I went
out, so there was no point. There was
nothing to do, no action to be had, no one to meet, no fun to be had, etc. It was complete boredom and suffocation, as
well as loneliness and isolation. (Yuck!)
But now that I can get action anytime I want here, or have fun whenever
I want, there’s a reason for me to go out everyday! Wow. I
NEVER have to stay home and be bored if I don’t want to here! In fact, there’s always something going on
here that is fun and wild that I can PARTICIPATE in interactively (I won’t give
you specifics, but leave it up to your imagination), not just sit back and
watch passively, more than there is time for!
Best of all, there are ALWAYS tons of hot/sexy/cute/gorgeous girls who
constantly want to meet me, be with me, have fun with me, get wild with me, and
whatever escalates between us, MORE than I can handle! It’s literally a “sex babe
Here, I get the best of
both worlds. On the one hand, it’s one
of the easiest places in the world to get sex, if not the easiest. And on the other, there are many
commitment-oriented romantic old-fashioned goody Catholic girls as well to
choose from. So I can get easy sex, or
romance/steady relationship, for the sappy sentimental side of me, as
well! I can choose from either, the best
of both worlds! Thus, a person can
satisfy both his lust for casual sex and need for steady relationship/romance!
(though society considers both desires to be mutually exclusive, I don’t)
Anyhow, I gotta
tell you though, when you can go out and get hot girls, dates and action
ANYTIME you want, and you have hot cuties gunning for you daily, it’s an
INCREDIBLE FEELING. Nothing beats
it! It feels as though you’ve
transcended the barriers and physical laws of the universe! And it makes any sacrifices you make to be
here definitely WORTH IT.
Here in the
Anyone who saw my life here
and my life in
To see visual proof of what
I’m talking about, see my new photo collage from the
So, contrary to what New
Agers and attitude fanatics (the "you create your own reality" crowd)
think, I didn't become a happy optimist by changing my attitude, thoughts or
beliefs, but by exercising my power of choice and braving it out against the
fear of the unknown, by going to another location on the other side of the
globe. After all, in truth dating is
like real estate, as long as you are a decent guy, it’s all about location,
location, location!
And that folks, is the
bottom line I want to share with you.
Thank you.
For another awe inspiring story of Salvation in the
Here are some videos on YouTube that show you the
wonderful world of Filipinas here!
This video that shows you the variety of
women in Philippines!
As you can see, they come in so many colors and types
to choose from!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls4zODEbE6A
Here is an incredible pictorial
presentation of Filipina beach babes. They are proof of a man's paradise! (If this doesn't make
you jump on a plane to the
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rfEhvdcOeUo
And get this. All those girls are realistically attainable types, as
long as you are nice and sweet and no an a**hole.
Next, these Filipina media stars guaranteed to make you drool! Warning! Once you look,
there may be no going back! hehehe
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u0CaOWGt6o4
And imagine this, these girls have this warm inclusive touch and vibe that
just fulfill you so much that you want to forget all other women!
Here are video stills of typical expats and their Filipina
wives/gf's. They
are representative of what I see of typical expats and their Filipina
wives/girlfriends. They all look like nice people and the
Filipinas on them are very cute and attractive, to me at least.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u5X0JQobPPY
More
videos of beautiful Filipinas can be found from here:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=filipina+girls&search_type=&aq=f
And
videos of beautiful Thai girls can be found from here:
http://www.youtube.com/results?search_query=thai+girls&search_type=&aq=f
Addendum 2009: Check out this heartfelt touching story posted in my
forum about how one man’s life and self-worth were completely changed by a
Filipina!
http://www.happierabroad.com/phpBB2/viewtopic.php?t=6931
“Admittedly, I am not a big fan of everything
that Winston Wu says and does, but I do believe there is a lot of truth in his
ideas. My story is similar to his. I grew up being told that I was a freak, a
weirdo, a homosexual, and a moron. I couldn't
understand what I was doing wrong - I was smart, caring, insightful,
hardworking, ambitious, and prosocial. I
couldn't understand why some people believed in all the drama that came from
living an antisocial life.
I was punched, pushed into urinals, and
worse. I became convinced there was
something wrong with me...I even seriously considered suicide when I was in
grade 11. That was in 1999, when the
Columbine School Shootings happened, and I identified with Eric Harris and
Dylon Klebolt.
It wasn't until high school was done and that I
got into the real world that I realized that really, there isn't anything wrong
with me. In fact, some people looked up
to me.
More importantly, I discovered Filipinas. Well, Filipinas discovered me. What a change it was being told that I was
hunk. After years of being humiliated in
school, I finally found myself being
adored by Filipinas !!! Not just loved -
lusted after. I could be sweet, and
would get love back. Gone were the days
of being punched for being a prosocial person.
Western high schools reward mentally ill idiots who while ignoring
prosocial go-getters who will actually
make a difference in this world.
My unhappiness became a distant memory...now I
am loved, cared for, listened to.....Filipina girls respect my character. They respect the fact that I am not just
lusting and gambling my life away. I got Filipina girls telling me I am so
handsome. In fact, my Filipina
girlfriend's friends all send her messags telling her that she is so lucky to
have me, and one even asked whether it would be possible to marry my dad (she
assumed my dad must be similar to me).
More than anything, I feel vindicated. I know that really, it isn't me. I am normal; it was the people around me who
were mentally ill.
One could write an essay over one hundred pages
long about the benefits of having a Filipina girlfriend. Most men appeciate the
care, the devotion to family, as well as general sexiness of Filipinas as the
main reasons for choosing one. Also, many of them have been severely hurt from
a previous relationship with a Westernized lady, and are determined to find someone
who will never hurt them again.
For me, the best thing about having a Filipina
girlfriend is that I am able to show love, care, and affection and be accepted
and loved in return. Growing up, I was constantly told that I need to "man
up" and "be more aggressive." In Western culture, men are taught
to get what they want by fighting for it. You need to stomp on someone else's
head so they won't stomp on your head. I was told that I was not aggressive
enough, and that I needed to be a jerk to women. Men told me that I needed to
treat my girlfriend like she was a dog and make her beg for a treat. I needed
to be the prize.
For a while I actually (regretably) believed
that crap. But I quickly realized the nonsense for what it was. My heart
changed, and then I met Mahal. I know I can be sweet and caring, and not have
to worry about her treating me like a doormat. Westernized women often think
that being nice means being weak. In Filipina culture, being nice is returned
with kindness, and perhaps a bit of sex too.
When I am with Mahal, I feel like I can be
myself. I don't have to walk around all "macho" (whatever that is
supposed to mean). I can share my weaknesses, and we can laugh at each other in
a supporting way. I have finally realized that it really isn't me that is
wrong; for so long I had been with mentally ill people who viewed prosocial
people as a weakness. You can't blame a Palm Tree for not growing in
For the first time in my life, I have felt
unconditional love and acceptance being with Mahal.
To be with someone who values me so much brings
out the best in me. I want to be the best lover, the best husband, the best
father, and the best servant in her church. I don't have to fear that my
efforts will be replied with insult. I can serve her, cuddle her, listen to
her, and support her, and not fear rejection. She is the best lady, so I want
to be the best lover I possibly can be for her.
I wish all men still looking for their Filipina
love lots of good luck !!!!”
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