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Need Imput on this issue.

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Need Imput on this issue.

Postby jsmith » Thu Apr 21, 2011 7:03 pm

Just now i received an angry e-mail from my father who is in his 60's. he's a semi-wealthy man. And he is a bodybuilder too and because he has found seccess with face-lifts, he looks like a guy in his 40's. i'm not a hater though. i respect him. but he is average looking like myself. we actually have the same face. same facial features.

i sent steve Hoca's video and he responded about his life philosphy. for those who don't know i somewhat described my situation in a previous thread.

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10008

to protect my identity and my father's i will sensor out names with fake ones. but i would like some input from the men here.

here is the post i sent to my father by steve.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPMtGziuYFE&NR=1[/youtube]

i essentially told my father that i felt steve was spor on correct.

and this is my father's response.
I really do not agree with what this guy is saying. To me he is off base with his analysis. Even his examples (training to run a marathon. etc) have absolutely nothing to do with the dating game. If you put Pretty Ricky's picture with his muscles on the web, dime honies from all over the world will holla back. And I could do the same if I showed my pictures from my last show. When my white friend Jimmy put the pictures from his first bodybuilding show on line, he got hundreds of hits from all types of honies that wanted to meet him. When I first met Jimmy he was a 23 year old virgin and a real nerd. He said only fat black girls would even talk to him. Jimmy had zero confidence in himself. Google Jimmy the bodybuilder to see someone that changed his life. When we went to a party after bodybuilding shows, cute girls would come over to Jimmy and he would ask me what to say to them. He was really afraid of women and danced like a chicken. I personally witnessed his change. Jimmy took the high road, and did not play the victim role. No pity party for Jimmy. He came from a stable middle class family (I met his mom, dad and brother) in New Jersey, was an outstanding high school athlete (swimming and track ) and number one in his economics class at Penn State. And in white world he is considered handsome. Yet, he still really struggled with girls because he was too immature and did not have a plan.



The guy in this video has some very deep problems, and is a very poor example to use as an indicator of the state of the dating game in America . This guy has adopted the victim role, and he will be this way for the rest of his life. I do not see you in this guy and if you see yourself in him this would concern me. Obviously, this guy has no plan to change his status. This guy is planning to fail, and you can be one of his constituents if you desire to. Being angry and mad because things have not gone your way at 60 years old may (or may not depending upon you efforts to improve your life) have validity. But to constantly seek out the negatives of life as a justification for your anger and to use that anger to rationalize your isolation from social opportunities when you are 28 years old will garner criticism in any forum.



Men mature physically and mentality at a significantly slower rate than women when they are young. Yes; the women’s lib movement has added an aggressive posture to the already early dominance women have over men. But then this dominance reverses (usually when men begin to acquire provider/protector status) and women become the aggressor and will go to any length to get a man. The vast majority of American men (and women) are not ready for the emotional aspect of having sex at a young age (teens and early 20’s). Do you think you were ready to have sex in high school? I know I was not. And the type of sex I had in college could have wrecked my life (and almost did) as it did to some of my college friends. I had something called sex in Korea with working girls. None of it made any sense to me until I was 27 years old.



You are intelligent enough to know you cannot just arrive in Germany to meet a nice girl at 32 years old with no history of social interaction with women and expect to meet a nice girl and be happy. That is a recipe for disaster. No one goes to the major leagues without sending some time in the minors. You must play the game to learn how the rules affect the player’s actions. If you are too angry or broken to play, then you will fail. There is absolutely no doubt about that. Women react in different ways to the same input depending upon the environment they were raised in. You are now in the process of acquiring the tools to make you a desirable mate (the provider/protector role), and this is universally understood by women. As women mature, looks and social status become less important than resources (a good job), stability and honesty. This is why the honies at Howard ask about your major; and you already know this. However, no woman wants a 32 year old man with high school social skills. The water can be cold and sometimes scorching hot, but you must get in the water and learn how to be mobile in it regardless of the temperature.



There are a lot of virgins (male and female) in America because we teach abstinence as a way of preventing STD’s and teen pregnancy. We do not teach our youth how to properly use contraception and demonize teen sex as morality corrupt. Do not forget the article about the wedding were the bride was proud to be a virgin. She felt her purity would be an important part of a successful marriage. The “Just Say Noâ€￾ slogan and campaign during the Regan years messed up a whole generation of white people. It was a total failure; just like the Bush abstinence program. Do not forget when most young men your age were trying to meet girls your mom and Mr. Robinson were trying get you to become a holy man; AKA no sex; just you, God and the Bible. You lost a lot of valuable street time during this phase of your life. This is when you started to become introverted.


The rest of the countries in the western world see teen sex and sex in general as a normal part of human interaction rather than a mistake or an error in judgment. In the rest of the western world men and women share in their sexual pleasure. In America a woman gives you sex in exchange for some type of commitment. The fundamental basis for sex in this country is distorted. And this creates a lot of distrust between the sexes. Women withhold sex because they do not want men to take advantage of them. Women withhold sex because they feel it is the only bargaining tool they have and it must be used to maximize an advantage in the relationship. And ultimately, the majority of American born and raised women do not really enjoy sex with men because the pleasure aspect of it becomes important only after they have use their sex to secure the tangible pieces (home, a man, kids etc) of their lives.


You need to get off the fence and start playing the game. You need some game experience before you go to Germany or anywhere else. They got unda cova ho’s in Germany too. And you need some skills to recognize them. Being a nice guy and a good person is not good enough. Bad things happen to good people all the time. And the road to hell is paved with good intentions. I know you understand these issues. So let’s move on. Sometimes you act like the freed slave after the Civil War that will stay and work on plantation for food because he is afraid to leave. Yes; you will get to eat everyday, but you will always be a slave.


You have been emancipated James, but you must chose to leave the plantation on you own. And if you chose to stay, you will have many friends people like the guy in this video. Moving to Germany only changes where the plantation is located. Your enslavement is mental (underdog mentality).
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Postby jsmith » Thu Apr 21, 2011 7:11 pm

Then i sent him this one where steve talks about Shame Tactics.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zCLjUGtgwoA&feature=related[/youtube]

and this was his response.

his is not truth. This is the by product of failure, and he wants to explain his excuse for failure. Of course you know Julia Roberts married Lyle Lovett. Julia was at the height of her “Pretty Woman “ fame and Lyle was the ugliest man in Hollywood . Go Google their names for pictures. How do explain all the women that go crazy over Adam Sadler and David Spade. No one would call them pretty boys or super good looking. Lyle Lovett, Adam Sadler and David Spade get pretty women because of their success. Ted Leonsis is the fat ugly owner of the Wizards and the Capitals hockey team. But he has a dime wife and kids because he is rich. If you are successful, you can have a pretty woman. And you do not have to be a Hollywood star or a rich man or a professional athlete. If you can buy a Ferrari, you can have pretty women. If you can buy the $1 million house, you can have pretty women. There are many more pretty women than successful men. But if you fail in life, you get nothing. No even the not so pretty women. No one wants to be with a loser, and that’s what the guy in this video is. A loser!



4. You need to get out more-Yes; you do need to get out more. And when you do got out you need to have enough courage to get back up when that dime piece turns you down. Most people like this guy are so beat up from the dating wars that they cannot take rejection any more. You want to get to know her better and she just wants to be nice to you but is not really interested. And you just got hurt again. It’s called the dating wars because these little battles go on all the time. And if you are to afraid to play, then you can date your computer and post videos. If you want to meet people you must go out! When you go to Germany you must go out to the clubs etc to meet people. The game is the same in Germany as it is in America . However, the women react differently. If you are a club nerd in America , you will be a club nerd in Germany .



5. You need to get some game- Game is nothing but mobility. That is all game means. I used to have just local game, but now I have mad international game. I can talk about a little something with anyone in the world. But if you do not travel, or go out, or read about current evens or know what your local sports teams are doing you will never have game. If you go to live in Europe and do not know anything about soccer, you will get embarrassed. This is an important part of your game in Europe . Game is not just talking smack; that’s ghetto game. Real game is based on your ability to be mobile in many different environments. Yes; I can talk smack with the best of them. But I can also talk Amazon, safari, Iceland , Prague , Greece and so on… Now that is real game. When I’m doing ghetto and I bring in my international game, the Yo boys talking smack shut the hell up and give my love. The say â€￾ Yo playa! What’s it like in…â€￾ This loser does not have a clue.



6. You need to go to the gym-Yes, you need to go to the gym and get muscles. I needed a hook to get back into the game, and it was muscles. Women all over the world love men with muscles. I got pretty women when I was young because I had game, a sports car and made myself popular (having parties and president of the sports car club). I had a lot of swag. You saw me go through the process of rejuvenation. The muscles are important part of the new me. You know this loser has this wrong. Why would you believe any part of this trash. Success means pretty women, and when you add muscles to the mix the pretty women get very aggressive.
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Postby jsmith » Thu Apr 21, 2011 7:18 pm

the on thing i forgot to mention is that my father is a average looking guy who is semi-wealthy who has muscles. He looks 40 but he is actually 66 yrs old thanks to face lifts. i mean he looks good for his age. he drives an expensive car and he wears expensive clothes too. i respect him

but yet with all his game you would think he would have a nice woman on his arm right? Wrong.

he has sex with young prostitutes when he goes on vacations. He hasn't had a real relationship with a woman, besides (one night stands) since my mother and himself divorced and that was 25 years ago. the thing that irks me is, my father talks about game but where has his game got him?


I'm 28 but i have yet to see him have a successful relationship with a woman. He just chases young sluts and goes to strip clubs when he can. He doesn't date somebody who you can introduce to your son. Just a slut that you have to "pay" . He is improving himself by trying to reach out to nicer woman as opposed to Hoars but i mean my father is clearly in denial. He does have a point but he has own perspective.

at times even he complains about the ugly dating scene and that some women even reject him because he isn't "good looking" enough. I guess this issue of looks, the dating game, marrige, opportunity is just a very sensitive issue because it impacts peoples lives in lots of different ways.

he actually has met a few nice ladies. he even met a russian girl who was my age. but he is more comfortable with a slut at the end of the day.

but i would appreciate inputs
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Postby well-informed » Thu Apr 21, 2011 9:39 pm

If im you i wouldn't waste my time debating with your father about this issue. All i hear is absolute ignorance on his part. Ask him why his game hasn't gotten him into a solid long term relationship with a decent female.

He's too prideful to admit you're right about foreign women and that AW absolutely suck. Dont fight a losing battle, that's my advice to you. Peace
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Postby Truthville » Thu Apr 21, 2011 10:43 pm

jsmith?

Thanks for the interesting post!

Your father has many valid points. HIS points of the way women view sex are especially astute.

BUT what I think is missing is the discussion of what is it YOU want out of relationships with women?

It's true that if you want to date lots of "high value" women, then your father is spot on with his observations. Getting out there, learning the rules, and speaking the language. Showing you have "value" to them, being exciting, living an exciting life, and whatnot is the KEY to the dating game. At least as I've observed in my limited time here on earth.

He also is right about his points of whining and crying TOO MUCH, while literally doing nothing about the situation. It's easy to sit and do nothing about a person's situation. It so much easier to blame others for EVERYTHING that is bad in a person's life. This way you can have your cake and eat it too, so to speak. Blaming everything on everyone, then using that as an excuse not to take action is a way of life that can be so seductive and yet ultimately limiting to a person.

IF you want to date lots of woman and such, your father is spot on with his advice.

But, once again, what is it that YOU want? If your father is saying that ALL attractive woman are only interested in a provider/meal ticket/sugar daddy, then I would tell him that that is not the case OUTSIDE the Western countries. Living a life with a woman whom will be gone as soon as the funds dry up, you stop "providing" etc... IMHO, is a prison sentence I have personally have no wish to serve. Personally, I would rather skip the drama/stress/etc.... and just enjoy my life.

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Postby S_Parc » Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:10 pm

jsmith, please leave your dad with his opinions of the world. My dad is still fighting communism, even 20 years after the fall of the USSR.

The problem is that when a person goes from 35 to 50, they tend to crystallize upon certain patterns and thus, can't see things without those filters on. And at the same time, he's probably carrying a lot from pain, from his own life, which he isn't letting go off.


Truthville wrote:It's true that if you want to date lots of "high value" women, then your father is spot on with his observations. Getting out there, learning the rules, and speaking the language. Showing you have "value" to them, being exciting, living an exciting life, and whatnot is the KEY to the dating game.


Hate to say it but if you're conscientious and a respectable guy, and you decide to learn Portuguese, you'll find yourself a nice "high value" woman in Brazil. This whole treatise of this `Game` being the NBA vs the D-League is a misfire on the cylinders because in reality, we can't live life like we're at business conference all day & night. People need to come down from the 'highs' and live in the moment. Jsmith Senior is a man who's fallen for the notion that money & a pack of half-truths makes a man. And unfortunately, all I see is a bitter man on his death bed come ~2030. Granted, money is a great thing to have but it's not a defining instance of your identity as a human being.
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Postby jsmith » Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:24 pm

thanks for the responses.

here is the thing. my realtionship with my father is very complex. He is an extroverted party arnimal type who likes to party until the sun goes down type of man. Sports events, Drinking Parties, Spin the bottle, b***y shaking contests and prostitutes are not a problem for my father because he has done it all. and prides himself that he still doing it at 66 with his muscles.

but he claims "yeah the women dissed me when i was a kid but look at me i overcame that!" "

i think his frustration is that i don't want to emulate him. What you don't know is dad has lots of enemies. He has had alot of unsafe sex, and even though he is getting laid he usually ends up by himself at the end of the day because that's all a woman is good for. some good sex.

if you link the "introduce yourself" link i provided i explained my situation.

simply put i never said Steve was 100% correct as my father thinks. i just felt he made alot of valid points. about the definition of "game" "looks" and getting out more.

because i have my father's face. People put lots of pressure on to be like him. In contrast my bother is tall and good looking not average. he has close to male model looks. And people in general both personally and professionally cater to him. Blair has game because the women come to him. He is a tall male model version of my father personality wise. whereas I have my fathers face.

for me because of my feelings about certain types, simply put i have never been in a situation where i'm around nice woman who are sweethearts. Everything that Winston talks about. His new "encounters" video really inspired me alot. he is right about Foreign Women.

Just today i was on campus and i just felt that distance and ice wall that winston talks about. i really now see just how much it has always hurt me and i have always internalized that coldness of american women around me without knowing it. Subconciously i think it has always been hurting me in the worst way. i now see why i felt hurt by the ice wall.

i don't want to have 100 girlfriends. I 'm a 1 one woman man. I think i'm guility of internalizing my old wounds and as a result i complain. But hey i'm human. I can relate to Steve and what he is saying. However Steve has clearly given up. I haven't given up. i have a plan. Dad wants me to be this "player" who has "game" who doesn't let the toughness of the dating scene affect his ability to get laid.

but beieve or not dad likes to play both sides. i have at times heard dad complain to me about similar things that Steve Hoca has said about Looks. that is 95% of the women want %5 of the men. And trust me. for me and my dad from the neck up (our faces) we are not in the 5% at all. we have muscles. My brother and the pretty ricky guy i mention is definiely in the 5% but not my father and i.

I'm just very frustrated. my father doesn't understand that its okay to be frustrated. if i was a parent and i create a environment for my child who grows up feeling frustrated because the social environment is narcisstic and looks obsessed as the one i point out, then i would be a not so good parent.

Like i said, my father should have exposed us to Europe more. He took us to germany once as kids and that was it. He hides the fact that put pressure on both of us to live the fantasy of the rap music videos.

they talk about this in this view here.

http://dimewars.com/Video/-Complexion-Obession--A-Hip-Hop-Documentary--Are-Brothers-In-The-Hip-Hop-Community-OBSESSED-With-Lightskinned-Chicks-.aspx?bcmediaid=0ca593be-8557-4720-bd80-cbf90a32dd31&activetab=1

my main issue is this.

as far as arguing this issue goes, i realize i'm outnumbered and majority rules. Mainstream culture will agree with my father and will beat people like myself down and call me a winer and a looser. I respect my father but i don't want to be like him or my brother. i just want somebody to understand that i deserve to have a sense of human connection and warmth in the form of men, women and children in my life, especially with the female side. like i said Germany is the place for me.

infact his comment "you think you can just go to germany and find a woman" . i almost want to prove him wrong about this. "you need game and experience. stop whining and get out there" applies to me who want to be pick artists and players

my father makes valid points, but as a parent he won't admit that he made more mistakes than he did as my father.

So whenever thi issue comes up, its an argument. but that's ok.
Last edited by jsmith on Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:55 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby jsmith » Thu Apr 21, 2011 11:49 pm

infact guys take a look at this MTV documentary from the 90's. its about the dating scene in America. And now that i now about International Dating. i realyl resent the advice that the men give in the interviews. they are right but only according to western culture.

my father is alot like the dog brothers. and personality wise i'm like the loner guy.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tyn8DDHTsvE&feature=related[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6YaqQG4WMhY&feature=related[/youtube]

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5cmJscFXRO8&feature=related[/youtube]

but i see that this issue is a multi layerd conversation. so many people are affected by this issue in different ways. and it can be argued in different ways too.
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Re: Need Imput on this issue.

Postby momopi » Fri Apr 22, 2011 12:36 am

jsmith wrote:Just now i received an angry e-mail from my father who is in his 60's. he's a semi-wealthy man. And he is a bodybuilder too and because he has found seccess with face-lifts, he looks like a guy in his 40's. i'm not a hater though. i respect him. but he is average looking like myself. we actually have the same face. same facial features.

i sent steve Hoca's video and he responded about his life philosophy. for those who don't know i somewhat described my situation in a previous thread.

http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=10008

to protect my identity and my father's i will sensor out names with fake ones. but i would like some input from the men here.

here is the post i sent to my father by steve.
[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wPMtGziuYFE&NR=1[/youtube]

i essentially told my father that i felt steve was spor on correct.



Before you start nodding in agreement with youtube videos, let's do a reality check. The title of his video is "1 in 10 men will not find a women", and in the video he talks about 20 year old guys not getting women.

Statistically, the human gender ratio at birth is about 107 boys to 100 girls, averaged globally. Women also tend to date/marry men who are older and more established. In the age 20-24 category, approx. 20.7% of women in the US are married, versus only 11.3% of men in same age category are married. Do the math and you'll realize that it's impossible for every 20 year old guy to succeed in the dating scene here -- it's statistically impossible, and shortage means competition for scarce, desirable commodities.
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Postby Truthville » Fri Apr 22, 2011 1:47 am

I understand what you are going through jsmith.

Some people, myself included, are really looking for that "connection."

Some people, perhaps like your father, aren't or just aren't being honest with themselves.

I never could understand WHY my guy friends always were pressuring me to be "dogs" like them?

Why couldn't they just accept that I didn't want to go that route?

BUT then I though about it and realized that some men, like a person whom (cough-cough) everyone is familar with on this site, NEED, CRAVE, DEMAND, validation for their lifestyle choices! They don't want to know about other ways of pursuing women because they don't want to even entertain the thought that they MIGHT have wasted their romantic lives on cheap, shallow women and cheap, shallow sex. There is nothing wrong with pursuing that of course. It's just not for me and never has been or never will be.

I really don't think that makes me LESS of a man BUT the culture and the attitudes have tried to tell me otherwise. I never listened! :P

jsmith, be who YOU want to be, it's your life after all, isn't it?


Stay Strong!

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Postby keius » Fri Apr 22, 2011 1:54 am

Your dads got some valid points, as does Steve.
I don't agree with either of them entirely.

"you need game and experience. stop whining and get out there"
I actually agree with this. You really need to experience what's wrong with everything before you can recognize it. Even in other countries, it does help to have some experience in the dating game. All women do have "some" things in common. He's right that having experience let's you spot certain signs...signs like when you are being played.

Then again, you can get game and experience somewhere other than the States. Healthier for you that way.
I prefer "stop whining and get out OF there"....to some other country with better women. :)

"build muscles"
That helps :) More muscles does equal to more masculinity in most parts of the world. Just don't overdo it and look like a overdosed steroid user.
This can hurt you with some groups though. Young Japanese girls tend to prefer skinny more effeminate guys nowadays...as does a subsection of Asians. Not sure if that fad is still big or not.

Your dad doesn't recognize the issues because he really sounds a bit like a "bad boy" ok? :P And we all know what's been said about "bad boys" on this forum. His history seems to reflect that, based on what you've said.

He's not looking for the same things you are. Not even close.
You can't compare yourself to him. Look at him objectively and ask yourself if you want to be like him.
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Postby jsmith » Fri Apr 22, 2011 3:42 am

keius wrote:Your dads got some valid points, as does Steve.
I don't agree with either of them entirely.

"you need game and experience. stop whining and get out there"
I actually agree with this. You really need to experience what's wrong with everything before you can recognize it. Even in other countries, it does help to have some experience in the dating game. All women do have "some" things in common. He's right that having experience let's you spot certain signs...signs like when you are being played.

Then again, you can get game and experience somewhere other than the States. Healthier for you that way.
I prefer "stop whining and get out OF there"....to some other country with better women. :)

"build muscles"
That helps :) More muscles does equal to more masculinity in most parts of the world. Just don't overdo it and look like a overdosed steroid user.
This can hurt you with some groups though. Young Japanese girls tend to prefer skinny more effeminate guys nowadays...as does a subsection of Asians. Not sure if that fad is still big or not.

Your dad doesn't recognize the issues because he really sounds a bit like a "bad boy" ok? :P And we all know what's been said about "bad boys" on this forum. His history seems to reflect that, based on what you've said.

He's not looking for the same things you are. Not even close.
You can't compare yourself to him. Look at him objectively and ask yourself if you want to be like him.


Well i guess its just that its a form of dysfunction in my relationship with him. He does have good points. But rearely does he look in the mirror. Where has his game got him? He lives and breathes in what i call Slut-ville. He is now finally starting to branch out and try to meet with women who don't go in the slut catetogory.

and yes he is an EX-bad boy actually. He is this great story teller and all the new gen bad boys look up to him that he befriends. I do look up to him but with reservations.

Like i said, my tall male model brother and my father the ex-bad boy legend like to go out and party. And i must tell you 90% of the time they come back frustrated. "man these ho's out here think they're so bad!" "these girl cliques are too much" "they all want to be video hoes and listen at too much rap!"

yes they both criticize me for staying in. but look at what i'm avoiding. and now that i see the INTERNATIONAL DATING is an option, i have no motivation to "get out more"

this is where i agree with steve. and this is my problem with my father. His advice sounds very consistent with mainstream standards but does my own father follow his own advice. Most people who meet my father see his FRONT. But they don't know that he pays local whores to go to bed with him when he gets frustrated. they don't know that he hangs out at strip clubs either.

yet he claims "you gotta go out there and have game"

i realize that this issue is a senstive issue and i'm outnumbered but i have the right to feel frustrated and to feel disgusted. I'm not gonna imitate the bad boy life style.

steve is slightly off in some places but he is mostly correct. My father doesn't want to acknowledge that yes he is an EX-bad boy. he'll say "Hey im a man and its all about growth experiences" He also refuses to admit that he raised my brother and i in a VERY competitive dating scene where super looks and personality or "game" as we call it now is the cruel

I'm glad Steve brought up looks. I'm not ugl, i'm average. I exercise alot. But yes the average guy to american women is almost in teh same category with ugly. When time and money opens up, i will work with weights. but i'm not super tall and i don't have male model looks. this creates an unfair advantage where i have to be twice as confident, twice as smart, and on on. But its not just my brother, i'm always up against the taller prettier man as far as dating.

I REFUSE TO DEAL WITH AMERICAN WOMEN and compete at the night clubs scene. I refuse to "go our there and get hurt" after all the non-sense i have been thru in my life i don't deserve this.

and i keep hearing that night clubs and so on are where all the shallow people go and that they're a waste of time and $$$

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2okEcMh9L0w[/youtube]
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Postby jsmith » Sat Apr 23, 2011 1:37 pm

first i want to thank the men here and even some of the posters agree with my father, i want to thank you

its wierd because its really an issue of spiritual warfare happening between my father and myself. its been happening since i was a kid.

i'm glad i have come to this site, because the men here have put into words what i have always FELT. Winston Wu and Steve have verbalized all my frustrations.

my complaint is always " dad you could have exposed us to Europe more as kids" and his response is "stop whining, get out there, step up your game and get the p***y!" refering to american women.


"look at your brother he has women over of him"
i'll respond

"Dad my brother looks like a male model. He is in the top 5% looks wise"

he'll reply "hey look at men and other average men like me. i'm out there on scene kicking game" and i'll respond "Dad you sleep with whores sometimes and you like exotic women who are drama queens, sure because you try to emulate the rappers you can ATTRACT the women, but look at the type of women you are getting"

he doesn't want to admit that he has been a bad parent in many ways, he has dones alot of good things. but he has done equally bad thins so he pushes the responsibility off himself. he wants me to tell him that he is always right.

its weird because sometimes dad will shift his opinion to the POLITICALLY CORRECT MAINSTREAM VIEW of what you read. To his own biased view. and back and forth. he's deceptively smart like that.

i have even heard him complain that american women are crap too. So why he is saying what he said?

he works for the federal goverment and makes a large salary, so i guess he was in politically correct mode when he typed his response to me.

he play both sides of the fence depnding on who is talking to and the setting.

when things don't work out for me sometimes, i have to go to him for money. and when i have my hand out, i have to do lots of ass kissing.

So its been hard, i hope and pray oneday that i can go to germany and live there. i have a good plan in place.

i just glad i can come here because i really feel the need to build up my arguing skills for this issue. because if i was arguing with my father out in theopen, i would look stupid.

so thanks everyone for responding. i wish i could get steve hoca to comment but he doesn't really answer his e-mail anymore.
jsmith
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Postby Contrarian Expatriate » Sat Apr 23, 2011 6:24 pm

Your father has two things against him that prevent him from being credible:

His worldview was shaped in the pre-feminist era so he cannot relate to the plight of young men like yourself.
-and-
He is a PUA at heart not interested in establishing a long term relationship with a woman like you are seeking.

I also have to question his status as one with "International" game. He certainly does not have more international experience than I, and I can attest that "game" in the American sense is not needed outside of the Anglosphere and Western Europe.

My parents have been worthless in so far as giving me advice about women and relationships. They meant well however. It is time for you to ignore your father's advice and let your personal experience be your guide. That is what I call true "manning up!"

Finally, be careful with Steve Hoca. He is affiliated with the TFL movement which is almost like a cult of male losers who revel in their loser status for support. Avoid them even if he is correct on a few points.

Chart your own course out in the world.
Feel free to visit my sites and to leave your respected words of wisdom:

http://thedeclineofmyamerica.blogspot.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/ContrarianExpatriate
Contrarian Expatriate
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Postby jsmith » Sat Apr 23, 2011 7:08 pm

well thank you for the compliments.

for me its just a matter of time. its just that i sometimes feel very frustrated at times and sometimes when somebody like steve comes along and makes sense about certain issues.

shame tactics as he says i agree with. "you have to get out more" "you gotta have game" he is right about the problem with those

he is slightly off when concerning the gym. If you build up the muscles sure you may even be an ugly guy with muscles but its better than being just ugly. muscles give a man options.

i can relate to steve's comment but Steve has given up in himself. Maybe if he was in a different career field he would be able to move around more.

but i guess you are right about Steve and TFL. Infact i'm suprised at steve becuase if steve changed up his wardrobe, worked out and moved around outside the USA he would get around the things he feels bad about. He is not an ugly guy and neither am I. But we both as men face similar issues.

my father growing up look-wise was not a handsome guy. Based on the looks standards for the 60's even, he was considered ugly. black women were very cruel to him. he talks about it today.

people told him he would amount to nothing as well. So he decided to evolve into a Bad Boy who liked to party. he has even said "yeah son, i didn't have the looks but i had game, this is how i got the hot women!"

my older brother is simply a 2011 male model version of my father was in his 30s with tatoos on each of his arms. So having a new woman every 2 months is a family standard. Commitment is not even a priority. Dad talks alot abot EXPERIENCE but where has it got him? Dad puts up a good front but he doesn't even follow his own advice.

So i'm the introverted guy with the average looks who likes to read and find meaningful relationships. I think that because i'm different people feel MOTIVATED to beat me down. its a 2 to 1 scenario. i'm outnumbered. it has always been that way. alot of my unhappiness with my peer/family group comes from that fact alone. when the money/opportunity comes along "when i graduate and start working" i'll be able to change that

But what i have learned is that majority rules. My father can say the type of things he has said and sound intelligent and gather support for his opinion very easily. What he said makes sense because its consistent with mainstream culture says. So if you were watching the two of us argue, people around would most likely look at the taller, older , better dressed, richer guy with muscles (my father) and look at the under-achiever who is 30 and still a virgin (me) and agree with my father. he would even go as far as embarss me infront of others. he would encourage people to laugh at me.

He as you can see in the e-mail he stresses the importance of partying and getting out there. But as you say, all that is not even necessary outside the USA. he even mocks me alittle by saying that i need EXPERIENCE WITH WOMEN first. And going over to germany is not the answer and that i'll fail if i try to do it that way.

But the reality is, Dad has had opportunities to have a attractive nice woman on his arm. this is a fact. But he ends up with sluts in the end. most people don't know him like this.

But yeah thanks for the advice. i will follow it.
jsmith
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Joined: Thu Apr 07, 2011 2:37 am

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