Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


When does positive thinking turn into mere denial?

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

When does positive thinking turn into mere denial?

Postby DaRick » Mon May 09, 2011 2:28 pm

You know, I had a long conversation with this Lithuanian girl today. I admitted that I leaned towards pessimism. She implied that I needed to be more positive and not tear myself up about little things. I then admitted she had a point, but that positive thinking could easily lead to denial, which is why I preferred caution.

So...when does positive thinking blur into denial? When you try to see the good in an inherently negative situation (male dating choices here; Anglo women) etc? Just a question.

Moreover, what is the difference between complaining about a legitimate problem and "feeling sorry for yourself"?
DaRick
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 296
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 3:59 am
Location: Brisbane, Queensland, AUS







Postby Winston » Mon May 09, 2011 3:59 pm

I guess when your positive thinking does not fit the facts, then you're in denial. Positive thinking is great, but it's not a magic pill and you should be realistic too. But there's nothing wrong with trying to see the glass as half full. Just don't believe bogus things that aren't true, lest they lead to disappointment.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.

Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!

"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
User avatar
Winston
Site Admin
 
Posts: 23568
Joined: Sat Aug 18, 2007 1:16 pm

Re: When does positive thinking turn into mere denial?

Postby djfourmoney » Mon May 09, 2011 5:10 pm

DaRick wrote:You know, I had a long conversation with this Lithuanian girl today. I admitted that I leaned towards pessimism. She implied that I needed to be more positive and not tear myself up about little things. I then admitted she had a point, but that positive thinking could easily lead to denial, which is why I preferred caution.

So...when does positive thinking blur into denial? When you try to see the good in an inherently negative situation (male dating choices here; Anglo women) etc? Just a question.

Moreover, what is the difference between complaining about a legitimate problem and "feeling sorry for yourself"?


What is so negative in your life that you lean towards pessimism?

I have doubt creep in every now and then. On other forums I see minor attacks on my self-worth and they have an impact. Because I start to doubt what I'm doing. Older Americans, especially those from middle class background or lower always say "I would trade shoes with you anytime", yet those with so-called job (not careers) and other elements of status tend to look down at my situations. Only a few have offered jobs, encouragement, etc. I know who my friends are, you get it?

As long as you have a plan of action, there's no reason to be doubtful or pessimistic, IMHO.
djfourmoney
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3129
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2010 11:09 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Postby S_Parc » Mon May 09, 2011 5:27 pm

I think I'd re-frame this whole thing into proactive thinking vs positive thinking.

A positive thinker is a type of Dale Carnegie, Cultish happy-go-lucky fool, who takes every statement as something inspiring or *good*. Here's an example... I'd mentioned to Mr A that a client company had 4 development centers and the challenge of team USA was to coordinate the efforts so that things would work in the end. The result of course was a ton of overtime (OT) by everyone involved. Mr A's response was that team USA was doing a great job and that's how things are. He, of course, missed the point. The point was that high OT leads to turnover and eventually, a dissolving and dis-coordinated team down the road. A different person would have looked at the scene, appreciated what was done earlier, but then looks for ways to reduce the hours and to make the top contributors remain on the team.

I'd say, be proactive and then, being positive becomes meaningful.

And it can be something very simple. Let's say you normally use the treadmill, 4 times per week. Well, every 2nd or 4th time, think of a way of making that routine harder, perhaps ankle weights or some dumbbell curls, after a brief warm up. Or, when you're feeling beat and don't want to exercise, do one single Pilates routine for 10 reps & write that down in your journal. And then, you can have the satisfaction of knowing that you never skip your routine.
S_Parc
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2414
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 7:01 pm

Re: When does positive thinking turn into mere denial?

Postby S_Parc » Mon May 09, 2011 6:23 pm

DaRick wrote:When you try to see the good in an inherently negative situation (male dating choices here; Anglo women) etc? Just a question.


This situation doesn't apply. A proactive person wouldn't waste his precious free time, away from work, for one of these Lesbo femi-nazis.

Here's the key to a happy life in the west ... earn money (& advance this area in terms of extra study a/o business development), exercise (& eat right), have activities w/ male friends (like martial arts, music, sporting venues, etc), and then go to gentlemen's clubs in Canada for R&R or the Nevada ranches.
S_Parc
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2414
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 7:01 pm

Re: When does positive thinking turn into mere denial?

Postby DaRick » Wed May 11, 2011 3:41 am

djfourmoney wrote:
DaRick wrote:You know, I had a long conversation with this Lithuanian girl today. I admitted that I leaned towards pessimism. She implied that I needed to be more positive and not tear myself up about little things. I then admitted she had a point, but that positive thinking could easily lead to denial, which is why I preferred caution.

So...when does positive thinking blur into denial? When you try to see the good in an inherently negative situation (male dating choices here; Anglo women) etc? Just a question.

Moreover, what is the difference between complaining about a legitimate problem and "feeling sorry for yourself"?


What is so negative in your life that you lean towards pessimism?

I have doubt creep in every now and then. On other forums I see minor attacks on my self-worth and they have an impact. Because I start to doubt what I'm doing. Older Americans, especially those from middle class background or lower always say "I would trade shoes with you anytime", yet those with so-called job (not careers) and other elements of status tend to look down at my situations. Only a few have offered jobs, encouragement, etc. I know who my friends are, you get it?

As long as you have a plan of action, there's no reason to be doubtful or pessimistic, IMHO.


Well, remember that we live in the Anglosphere: a place where your life could theoretically be ruined by some vindictive bitch who decides to select your name out of a phone book and plant a false rape accusation on you out of general spite towards men. That thought alone tempers my enthusiasm.

That being said, I know where I'm going and I have at least a vague idea of what I want to do.
DaRick
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 296
Joined: Tue Aug 03, 2010 3:59 am
Location: Brisbane, Queensland, AUS

Postby sushiman » Mon May 23, 2011 10:53 pm

It is a great question.

I feel like there are a lot of guys in the US trying to positive-think their way out of things and it's kinda sad.
sushiman
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 324
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 5:56 pm
Location: Seoul

Postby djfourmoney » Tue May 24, 2011 5:39 am

sushiman wrote:It is a great question.

I feel like there are a lot of guys in the US trying to positive-think their way out of things and it's kinda sad.


There's being positive and then there's being delusional. I think you're talking about the latter...
djfourmoney
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 3129
Joined: Sat Oct 16, 2010 11:09 pm
Location: Los Angeles

Postby MrPeabody » Tue May 24, 2011 7:31 am

I think negative thinking can be even more delusional than positive thinking. For example, if we are negative thinkers, and one thing goes wrong, we will see the universe as not working. But, this is a distortion in thinking because at any one moment, literally millions of things had to go right for you to still be here. Negative thinking can also seem to be more intelligent to some, even though it really isn't. If you are a negative thinker, going to a foreign country will be hard on you, because so many things go wrong while you are trying to figure out the culture and how to survive. Developing a balanced objective approach to viewing reality really isn't an intellectual exercise. It's more of a matter of developing and maturing the emotions.
MrPeabody
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1246
Joined: Sun Apr 13, 2008 6:53 pm

Postby sushiman » Tue May 24, 2011 2:50 pm

For example "if I just work out harder, run faster, make more money, take positive thinking classes, become a pua" are things guys here are doing to address the root problem they sense (lack of respect, sex, dinner), but the root problem is in the environment. Even though things aren't working "try harder" is their plan.
sushiman
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 324
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 5:56 pm
Location: Seoul

Re: When does positive thinking turn into mere denial?

Postby sushiman » Tue May 24, 2011 3:04 pm

DaRick wrote:Moreover, what is the difference between complaining about a legitimate problem and "feeling sorry for yourself"?


It is a legitimate problem and so I wouldn't call it complaining, there are more positive words! :) Guys here need to "complain" more. Organize, lobby for male rights, put Kraft and they discriminatory commercial out of business, call out the problem and educate other men. The same thing women did.

But doing so is just exhausting and part of the problem and so I'm leaving. But for those staying good luck, you'll have to fight, in numbers, and don't rule out guns. A lot of effort and money has been spent making you slaves, they aren't gonna just hand you back your rights.
sushiman
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 324
Joined: Mon Mar 21, 2011 5:56 pm
Location: Seoul


Return to General Discussions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 2 guests