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Without children, my alternate future ...

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Without children, my alternate future ...

Postby S_Parc » Mon May 30, 2011 4:53 pm

I see an alternate reality. This is one, living abroad, but w/o wife and kids.

1) Financially Independent

2) Exercise & run my own Martial Arts dojo

3) Do my own scientific research, occasionally publishing papers

4) Periodically have 5 star escorts, gfe experience

Now, can anyone see a problem with the above 8) ?
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Re: Without children, my alternate future ...

Postby Rock » Mon May 30, 2011 5:08 pm

S_Parc wrote:I see an alternate reality. This is one, living abroad, but w/o wife and kids.

1) Financially Independent

2) Exercise & run my own Martial Arts dojo

3) Do my own scientific research, occasionally publishing papers

4) Periodically have 5 star escorts, gfe experience

Now, can anyone see a problem with the above 8) ?


Not as long as you have the required financial resources to satisfy 1 and 4, skill to satisfy 2, and intellectual capability to satisfy 3.
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Re: Without children, my alternate future ...

Postby Sexter » Mon May 30, 2011 5:23 pm

S_Parc wrote:I see an alternate reality. This is one, living abroad, but w/o wife and kids.

1) Financially Independent

2) Exercise & run my own Martial Arts dojo

3) Do my own scientific research, occasionally publishing papers

4) Periodically have 5 star escorts, gfe experience

Now, can anyone see a problem with the above 8) ?


a lot of what you posted are superficial goals. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but sometimes having a long term female companion and a kid or 2 won't hurt. Yes money is important, yes Having escorts is FUN, but don't you think having a family or a long term female companion wouldn't hurt either?

I'm 25 and i sure hell don't want to settle anytime soon; however, when I'm old enough it wouldn't hurt to have a long term female companion and kids. I honostly don't want to grow old and lonely. I know my uncle is like this, he's 51 years old and goes overseas and games escorts and plays a lot of poker. However, i can sense that he is lonely and miserable, he has no friends and his wife divorced him years ago.
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Postby ladislav » Mon May 30, 2011 5:36 pm

All very nice, add a spiritual part- say become a member of some temple and do some profound studies and meditations, then also, be ready to adjust your plans as you go along.
A brain is a terrible thing to wash!
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Re: Without children, my alternate future ...

Postby Rock » Mon May 30, 2011 5:54 pm

Sexter wrote:
S_Parc wrote:I see an alternate reality. This is one, living abroad, but w/o wife and kids.

1) Financially Independent

2) Exercise & run my own Martial Arts dojo

3) Do my own scientific research, occasionally publishing papers

4) Periodically have 5 star escorts, gfe experience

Now, can anyone see a problem with the above 8) ?


a lot of what you posted are superficial goals. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but sometimes having a long term female companion and a kid or 2 won't hurt. Yes money is important, yes Having escorts is FUN, but don't you think having a family or a long term female companion wouldn't hurt either?

I'm 25 and i sure hell don't want to settle anytime soon; however, when I'm old enough it wouldn't hurt to have a long term female companion and kids. I honostly don't want to grow old and lonely. I know my uncle is like this, he's 51 years old and goes overseas and games escorts and plays a lot of poker. However, i can sense that he is lonely and miserable, he has no friends and his wife divorced him years ago.


Yea, well be very careful with that one size fits all type of advice. There are countless guys who regret having a kid or 2 (perhaps someone on this forum even?) and/or getting married. Many of them are lonely, miserable, and broke to boot. LT female companion makes sense as long as you can avoid marrying her or she's on an equal or better asset and wage level as yourself. Everyone has their own unique passions deep in their heart and some are genuinely happy to be free and largely alone. BTW, you say your uncle is friendless. Doesn't he even have a few poker buddies?
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Re: Without children, my alternate future ...

Postby S_Parc » Mon May 30, 2011 5:57 pm

ladislav wrote:All very nice, add a spiritual part- say become a member of some temple and do some profound studies and meditations, then also, be ready to adjust your plans as you go along


I concur, this is a very important dimension in having a complete life. And true, I've incorporated some this into my program but have also struggled to stay clear of cults.

Sexter wrote:I'm 25 and i sure hell don't want to settle anytime soon; however, when I'm old enough it wouldn't hurt to have a long term female companion and kids.


I was more interested in settling down from ages 18 to 28, then today (mid-30s).

Sexter wrote:I honostly don't want to grow old and lonely. I know my uncle is like this, he's 51 years old and goes overseas and games escorts and plays a lot of poker. However, i can sense that he is lonely and miserable, he has no friends and his wife divorced him years ago.


Yeah, but what you're also implying is that a person's happiness is dictated by others' approval and some need to belong. I'd say that going from my 100 friends/acquaintance in college to today's shorter list was as much a growing experience, in finding my own core strengths, than in relying on others for it.

All and all, your uncle can have few friends, no wife, and still be content if he so chooses to be. I've actually used tools like hypnosis to look at things like core loneliness/isolation, depression, etc, and little of it affects me today.

Some people choose to be with me because to some extent, I help 'em out and there's a type of positive reinforcing effect in their lives. On the other hand, if/when they disapprove of me, it washes right over. All and all, even though I'm sociable, I don't really *need* people but I do appreciate their company.
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Postby onezero4u » Mon May 30, 2011 7:35 pm

sounds like a plan.

SEXTER: dont think that by getting married you wont end up lonely and miserable. haha in fact its probly guaranteed during this generation.
marriage is a 3 ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and then suffering.
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Re: Without children, my alternate future ...

Postby Contrarian Expatriate » Mon May 30, 2011 9:21 pm

Sexter wrote:A lot of what you posted are superficial goals. Not that there's anything wrong with that, but sometimes having a long term female companion and a kid or 2 won't hurt...., but don't you think having a family or a long term female companion wouldn't hurt either?

...When I'm old enough it wouldn't hurt to have a long term female companion and kids. I honostly don't want to grow old and lonely.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where do you get your advice from, women? You sound completely brainwashed by the Sex And The City crowd that uses this argument to shame or scare men into marrying away their own best interests.

I say you have a lot of reading to do on this forum or you will be on your way to hell in a handbasket!
Feel free to visit my sites and to leave your respected words of wisdom:

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http://www.youtube.com/user/ContrarianExpatriate
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Re: Without children, my alternate future ...

Postby S_Parc » Mon May 30, 2011 10:18 pm

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:
Sexter wrote:I honostly don't want to grow old and lonely.

Whoa, whoa, whoa! Where do you get your advice from, women? You sound completely brainwashed by the Sex And The City crowd that uses this argument to shame or scare men into marrying away their own best interests.

I say you have a lot of reading to do on this forum or you will be on your way to hell in a handbasket!


Well in all honesty, it isn't just the Sex In The City/Ally McBeal thought police who're responsible for this line of thinking.

I'd say that the progenitors are our grandparents' generations, where everyone married their high school sweetheart. They didn't want to face the Dust Bowls or the Hoovervilles alone. I guess it sort of worked out for them because everyone was on the same team but today, it's a whole new world.

The 'Desperate Housewives' goose steppers, however , are cliche flypapers where they hold on to any meaningless phrase, if it suits their purpose. For instance, 'money doesn't lead to happiness'... for an AW, that means that the guy turns over his money to her, since he's happier w/o it. And just like that, 'not being lonely when old', is a cue for tying the knot 'young' and then, forking over 1/2 his savings in court.
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Postby dreamer82 » Tue May 31, 2011 3:44 am

Surprisingly to me, all of my friends got married and had children. I never had the desire nor cared about my legacy. For a lot of people, having kids is second nature. I see a lot of problems with having kids, especially the cost. Two incomes are needed to run houses now and the stress just looks to be too much. Another thing to think about is resources. My sister bought each of her children cars and they constantly ask for gas money and there are insurance costs but also just the amount of natural resources that are used per capita.

By not having kids, you're doing a great favor to the environment, especially in a broken, wasteful society such as ours.

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Postby S_Parc » Tue May 31, 2011 1:40 pm

dreamer82 wrote:Surprisingly to me, all of my friends got married and had children. I never had the desire nor cared about my legacy. For a lot of people, having kids is second nature. I see a lot of problems with having kids, especially the cost. Two incomes are needed to run houses now and the stress just looks to be too much.


I've also seen this. A lot of people have kids w/o putting much thought into it, kind like a pre-conditioned state.

It goes like this ... 1) Date of Marriage 2) Years 1 to 3 -- partying/vacations 3) Have kids 4) Do only chores and errands 5) Become morbidly obese 6) ok, let's skip this part :wink:

dreamer82 wrote: Another thing to think about is resources. My sister bought each of her children cars and they constantly ask for gas money and there are insurance costs but also just the amount of natural resources that are used per capita.

By not having kids, you're doing a great favor to the environment, especially in a broken, wasteful society such as ours.


I think if people plan correctly for it, then it might work out. For instance, I knew a couple who had both sets of grandparents spend at least 1 or 2 weekdays with the kids. Thus, the kids have both the extended family, plus a resource for latter homeschooling. The idea was that the parents were going to yank the kids from the K-12 system, after the 4th grade, once they realized what clique formations were about on the baseball diamond. Then, the kids could emerge as independent self-starters by early adulthood. These were intelligent parents.
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Postby Master » Tue May 31, 2011 2:59 pm

I see a problem.

Vanity.

No Foundation, no kids. All of this without this evolves to nothing. You can be just successful and happy without money if you find a good woman. That way you can be a successful proud man.
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Postby S_Parc » Tue May 31, 2011 4:31 pm

Master wrote:No Foundation, no kids. All of this without this evolves to nothing. You can be just successful and happy without money if you find a good woman. That way you can be a successful proud man.


Ok, good thought here, however, I envision a sense of a need to belong and a need for someone else's approval.

Here's a conjecture... add to this scenario, your child and your wife passing away (or walking out on you) one day ... do you then become that alcoholic, like Nicholas Cage's character, in 'Leaving Las Vegas'? Does your foundation collapse because you were looking towards others for your intrinsic happiness?
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Re: Without children, my alternate future ...

Postby walrusface » Tue May 31, 2011 5:11 pm

S_Parc wrote:
3) Do my own scientific research, occasionally publishing papers



I couldn't help but find this a bit funny considering your display pic. :)

I don't want kids either, and I'm not that bothered about getting married. As long as you have the money to live the life you want I can't see a problem with it. If you find yourself not happy with it, for whatever reason, you could always change it..
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Re: Without children, my alternate future ...

Postby S_Parc » Tue May 31, 2011 5:24 pm

walrusface wrote:
S_Parc wrote:
3) Do my own scientific research, occasionally publishing papers



I couldn't help but find this a bit funny considering your display pic. :)


Yeah, I'd much rather have a patent portfolio around that Flux Capacitor than having its internals in some public science journal :wink:

walrusface wrote:I don't want kids either, and I'm not that bothered about getting married. As long as you have the money to live the life you want I can't see a problem with it. If you find yourself not happy with it, for whatever reason, you could always change it..


Well, part of this whole thread is in bringing up everyone's thoughts on the matter and seeing what's the primary driving mechanism behind them. All and all, we make decisions one way or the other but it's rare to actually see a group of folks mull over the internals of those decisions because much of this won't be at a dinner conversation among co-workers or friends.
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