Websites like DateInAsia are a waste of time...

manly5000 · Post by **manly5000** » June 2nd, 2011, 6:44 pm

I think I've had it with online Asian/foreign websites. Every time I show interest in a girl, even (especially) girls who send me interest/messages first, they blow me off in short order.

I try to hold conversations with them, ask them questions, take interest in their hobbies/desires/etc., but it always ends the same. They just don't keep conversations going. Ever. Never ask me questions, never want to know about me, never want me to take it to the next level by chatting on Yahoo/camming/etc etc. If I don't keep badgering them with questions, they never get back with me.

What's the point? I guess the only thing to do is save up enough to take a trip there, maybe. I only hope that Filipinas face-to-face in real life will try just a LITTLE BIT harder to socialize and keep a conversation going with me.

Maybe I'm just being unrealistic though.

Thoughts? Kinda frustrated with trying to meet foreign women online at the moment...

jamesbond · Post by **jamesbond** » June 2nd, 2011, 7:26 pm

Trying to meet women online is a complete and utter waste of time. This is especially true if your trying to meet women in another country. The best thing to do is visit women in the country your interested in.

The best way to meet people is and always will be the old fashioned way, .... face to face!

ladislav · Post by **ladislav** » June 2nd, 2011, 11:09 pm

I am in the Philippines now and I have used Date in Asia to meet quite a few girls. It helps if you are in the country and can go and meet them. The numbers game also helps. I had to email a few hundred to get some 6-7 dates. Many guys email these girls- we are talking hundreds.
As far as them not asking you questions, welcome to the Philippines where girls do not know how to carry on a conversation even in freaking Tagalog. They just sit and sulk and do not talk. Only one in some 10 has any decent communications skills and the younger they are the less comfortable they are around men, especially foreign men.
And also the new generations' English skills are lousy at best. It does help if you can speak Filipino but even then, in 7 out of 10 cases, you have a sulky mute face staring at you. Takes time to sieve through all these girls. Now, I am maintaining contact with some 3 girls who are semi normal and who talk and are somewhat curious about me. The rest are just "mute".
So, not a total waste of time but requires a big investment in time and going through hundreds of girls before you meet someone who is OK. Semi good looking and not "mute". If you are not there, you will just have to email more and establish a better communication channel with them and also set up a date when you are going to visit them. Keep in mind that it is a free site and it is full of totally frivolous men who are there just to masturbate. So, the girls are jaded by such guys and do not get too enthused about one more new guy too soon.
I tried Russian language dating sites ( not for foreigners) and I was 49 and wanted to meet younger women 18 to 23 and had to email some 300 + girls. The result was- I met 4, one turned out to be a gold digger, one disappeared and 2 made friends with me and we are still in touch.
I believe in the power of percentages. If you have the patience and the time to email 400 girls, you are going to catch some fish.

steve55 · Post by **steve55** » June 2nd, 2011, 11:13 pm

Ladislav, what part of the phils do you reside? What city?

ladislav · Post by **ladislav** » June 2nd, 2011, 11:18 pm

I am in Angeles City, Pampanga.

manly5000 · Post by **manly5000** » June 3rd, 2011, 8:08 am

Interesting. Well I'm 35, not sure if age is a factor or not. Many of the girls say they want someone over 40, not sure if that's gold-digging or not haha.

The language barrier is a HUGE issue I think... lots of misunderstanding going on. For instance I just emailed a cute young Thai girl and asked her what she was studying at university and how it was going, and she said "You are coming to me? Why?"

And the ironic thing? She was majoring in ENGLISH!!! Bahhhh! /facepalm

Post by **Winston** » June 3rd, 2011, 8:20 am

What do you mean? The girls on dateinasia are too talkative and pushy on getting to know you. What country are you writing to girls from? The Filipinas are definitely very proactive on there. Are you writing to them?

manly5000 · Post by **manly5000** » June 3rd, 2011, 10:46 am

Yeah I write to a lot of them (not tons admittedly... not 100's like Ladislav but a few every other day or so) and I get initial messages from quite a few... but when I try to engage them and start really talking about stuff they barely reply and never ask me questions. After 3 or 4 exchanges where it feels like I'm interviewing the chick I give up because it seems like she's not interested.

I'm friendly, non-sexual, use lots of humor etc etc. but I'm just not getting anywhere with them online.

Oh and 99% of the time it's Filipinas I'm writing to.

Rock · Post by **Rock** » June 3rd, 2011, 12:41 pm

ladislav wrote:I am in the Philippines now and I have used Date in Asia to meet quite a few girls. It helps if you are in the country and can go and meet them. The numbers game also helps. I had to email a few hundred to get some 6-7 dates. Many guys email these girls- we are talking hundreds.
As far as them not asking you questions, welcome to the Philippines where girls do not know how to carry on a conversation even in freaking Tagalog. They just sit and sulk and do not talk. Only one in some 10 has any decent communications skills and the younger they are the less comfortable they are around men, especially foreign men.
And also the new generations' English skills are lousy at best. It does help if you can speak Filipino but even then, in 7 out of 10 cases, you have a sulky mute face staring at you.

And you still strongly prefer Filipinas over NE Asian girls. Boggles the mind. Why not just get a dog for companionship and visit local prostitutes for sex?

DarrenFW · Post by **DarrenFW** » June 3rd, 2011, 1:11 pm

Well I am planning a trip to the Phillippines and I find the dating site I am on very helpful.
When I get over there, I have probably 20-30 contacts. Girls are eager to meet me and I am eager to meet them.

I plan to hole up in a hotel and conduct interviews.

However, internet dating, even with local girls isn't about "flirting" or "gaming" girls over the internet. Its about setting apointments.

When you say you are non-sexual, using lots of humor, etc. It sounds like you're doing what you would do in a bar over the internet. It doesn't work too well.

When I get on Filipinocupid, which is the site I use at the moment, I contact them and say "Hello".
Then we get into what I'm looking for.
They tell me what they want.
I tell them long term dating possibly leading to marriage.
They respond.
I tell them my dates of when I will be there.
And I suggest a meetup. (This is probably too early b/c I will be there in 2 months).
I put them down as a "Favorite" or a "Friend".
I write updates every so often to the ones I have contacted. (You can write these as bulk emails but add stuff to make them *semi-personal*)

So when I get to the airport I plan to be greeted by one of my favorites. And I will have dates with other ones.

I plan on keeping the girls apart and seeing them at different times beause talking to these Filipinas leads me to believe that they are territorial and prone to jealousy and they dread being shamed...in fact shame is a very bad thing in their culture.
(And this is with my limited knowledge).

You want to learn some of the language and cultural ways before dating someone like this.
Also, they have probably been screwed over by American guys before so don't be that guy. Treat them with some respect and honesty.

I tell the girls that I will be seeing other girls. It just comes down to meeting them and deciding who is right. You can't fall in love over the internet- this is a "truism" that most people can agree to.

Most of these Filipina girls are looking for a solid guy who is "serious" meaning not a player. So if you tell them about your family, how you want to have kids, how you like your job and or your studies, interests, etc. It will most likely look good to them.

They value: Family, Religion, hard working men, America (even if they have a distorted view), marriage (one of the few cultures that does), loyalty, honesty (all women value honesty).

So just be Direct, honest, talk about what you want, qualify them based on if they are willing to meet/willing to relocate.

Make sure that if you plan on NOT getting married that you have a solid contingency plan for what to say.

If the chick seems bored or uninterested, consider the quiet/bashful/timid nature of the girls in that society. They're not like the ball busting creatures that inhabit North America.

That's my take on it.

Perhaps Winston has some comments on what I posted here.

Thanks and I hope it helps. It also helps to see it as a form of "Sales".

Darren FW.

manly5000 · Post by **manly5000** » June 3rd, 2011, 1:18 pm

Thanks for your input Darren. I'm not really gaming them per se (thought I catch myself doing things every so often that would qualify), I'm really just trying to have a fun, friendly, non-pressured conversation with these girls. It will be a while before I go to the Phils, but if i met the right girl online I might make a trip sooner.

The only way I feel that I will find the right girl online is to find one that I get along really good with, chat a lot with, and that takes a lot of initiative and interest in me. If I was in the Phils I'd use it to "set up appointments" as you say, but since it will be many months or maybe more than a year before I can go, i'm trying to start a good relationship online.

Maybe it's the wrong thing to do, dunno... but it's all I've got right now.

ladislav · Post by **ladislav** » June 3rd, 2011, 10:40 pm

And you still strongly prefer Filipinas over NE Asian girls. Boggles the mind. Why not just get a dog for companionship and visit local prostitutes for sex?

Des gustibus non est disputandum There is no accounting over tastes. Plus NE Asian girls do not like me. Never did. I am not their type. Here at least I get appreciated for something. In NE Asia I just see steely-eyed ice princesses who would not give me the time of day. And their hearts are colder than dry ice. So what if they can talk and discuss things. They have no warmth, no humanity of any kind. Just steely robots with steely eyes. Yikes!

jamesbond · Post by **jamesbond** » June 3rd, 2011, 11:02 pm

ladislav wrote:In NE Asia I just see steely-eyed ice princesses who would not give me the time of day. And their hearts are colder than dry ice. So what if they can talk and discuss things. They have no warmth, no humanity of any kind. Just steely robots with steely eyes. Yikes!

They sound just like American women!

Rock · Post by **Rock** » June 4th, 2011, 7:25 am

ladislav wrote:
And you still strongly prefer Filipinas over NE Asian girls. Boggles the mind. Why not just get a dog for companionship and visit local prostitutes for sex?
Des gustibus non est disputandum There is no accounting over tastes. Plus NE Asian girls do not like me. Never did. I am not their type. Here at least I get appreciated for something. In NE Asia I just see steely-eyed ice princesses who would not give me the time of day. And their hearts are colder than dry ice. So what if they can talk and discuss things. They have no warmth, no humanity of any kind. Just steely robots with steely eyes. Yikes!

I can't really vouch for girls in Japan and Korea. But I've encountered all kinds of warmth and humanity over the years in Taiwan. Some of the younger girls may seem robotic at first glance. But if you break through the thin veneer, some have hearts of gold, very giving and generous. Too bad you didn't didn't come to Taiwan instead of Thailand when you left Japan back in 94. Perhaps if you had, your feelings about NE Asians might be a bit more balanced.

Post by **Winston** » August 31st, 2011, 6:40 pm

I've been elaborating to people about how most Filipinas do not have basic conversation skills in that they cannot ask open ended questions and build a conversation from there.

Example:
What do you do?
Oh you're a writer? What do you write about?
That's interesting. I have a friend who wrote about that too.

Etc.

I don't know why that is beyond the capability of Filipinas. I mean, sheesh, it's like anyone with average intelligence is an intellectual giant in the Philippines. Dumb is the norm and intelligence is an anomaly. Crazy.

Why put up with that? I mean, you can go to Spain or France, and any AVERAGE young woman will be able to hold a highly intelligent conversation. So why put up with the dumbness of Filipinas who can't even hold a basic conversation?