Happier Abroad Forum Community

S_Parc wrote:

NorthAmericanguy wrote:It's mostly due to hormones bud. Not to insult your intelligence, but as you get older your body produces less hormones apposed to when you were younger. Every male is a little different, but testosterone for example, whatever amount of testosterone your body naturally produced at the age of 20, your body is producing much less of that testosterone today in your mid 30's

It happens to women as well and what's interesting is that as women get older they take on more masculine traits, and as men get older they take on more feminine traits such as becoming more passive.

Well, I do supplement DHEA w/ DIM & I haven't experienced a drop off in my regular workout recovery.

It's mainly just the interest level in the opposite gender, in terms of wasting time with them, outside of gentlemen's clubs.

From my perspective what you are going through is normal because I went through the same exact thing. For me I cannot have sex with a prostitute, in fact, I have to respect the girl at least to a certain degree, I have to get to know her a little bit, feel some intimacy with her, and have some conversation, another words, I have to really like here to have sex.

Your problem is all you see are women who secretly don't like you, or to be more specific, don't like men in general, to them you are just a dumb man, worthy of being used and manipulated, and you're picking up on that. Or maybe more specifically, you're picking up on the lack of femininity they have, the lack of conversation, the lack of respect and interest, it's all about them, and they feel you are lucky to even be talking to them in the first place.

And ironically, they actually want you to treat them like a slut, which is probably against your nature to do, and so the whole entire relationship from the beginning was doomed because of the perverse nature that the American women have.

oiltradingacademy wrote:Or maybe more specifically, you're picking up on the lack of femininity they have, the lack of conversation, the lack of respect and interest, it's all about them, and they feel you are lucky to even be talking to them in the first place.

And ironically, they actually want you to treat them like a slut, which is probably against your nature to do, and so the whole entire relationship from the beginning was doomed because of the perverse nature that the American women have.

Yes, you're spot on with American women.

I think what's happened is that I also got bored with this whole notion of a man's sense of valuation being related to some consortium of feelings with the opposite gender.

So while I was spending a lot of time abroad, I also lost interest in dating there because for the most part, I was getting bored of this split-frame view of my internalized relationship with women. In other words, if I didn't like women in the USA, why should I care for them romantically elsewhere, as some sort of makeshift compensation strategy. Thus, in consolidating my worldview, merging the 4-6 mos abroad w/ the 6-8 mos stateside, I lost interest in women across the board and now, only need to go to boinking clubs, instead of pursuing relationships.

And so while I still have female friends abroad, it becomes another platonic type of arrangement and so there are limited expectations and I can be free to go to Gentlemen's clubs w/o knocking over apple carts there.

...

eurobrat wrote:I think all of you are nuts.

That's pretty deep, that's about as deep as the typical American women gets.....

I think you need to respect the older forum members, who's been there and done that.

eurobrat wrote:I think all of you are nuts.

Me too? What did I say that makes you think that?

Folks, there's a bit of heavy psychoanalysis underlying this thread.

I can see someone getting uncomfortable with the idea that the idealized 'mother' or 'sister' figure isn't real, after one hits one's 30s.

So while Freud's Oedipal Complex may be a simplification of the human condition for males, some aspects of our higher aspirations, may in fact be tied to re-creating the sister/mother figure but in latter cycles of life.

This is all food for thought.

well-informed wrote:I think you need to respect the older forum members, who's been there and done that.

He's 26 and still horny. You guys would look nuts to someone that age.

We'll im 20 and i'm horny too, but if older folks are telling me what's up.. then i listen and respect what they have to say.

Except for you Hook, i won't listen to you lol

Hook wrote:He's 26 and still horny. You guys would look nuts to someone that age.

Well, I'm still horny but I don't care for having so-called meaningful relationships with women, outside of boinking. You see, being horny and being disrespected by mainstream society are distinct attributes.

When I first started seeing women abroad, it was some ten years ago. And while I enjoyed the first series of relationships, I started noticing that there was a *compensation type of thing going on* where being overseas was great and being in America was bad.

Well, as time went by, I changed. I realized that I was a productive member of American society but during this time, my sister turned into an alcoholic, overweight psycho, but yet, I was the one being judged by women all around me while she was getting a free ride for having a vagina. That's when the wake up call occurred and I started rejecting those, who tried to castrate me, as a productive member of society.

S_Parc wrote:Folks, there's a bit of heavy psychoanalysis underlying this thread.

I can see someone getting uncomfortable with the idea that the idealized 'mother' or 'sister' figure isn't real, after one hits one's 30s.

So while Freud's Oedipal Complex may be a simplification of the human condition for males, some aspects of our higher aspirations, may in fact be tied to re-creating the sister/mother figure but in latter cycles of life.

I'm glad you brought that up. One very important factor in this is many of you will learn as you get older that women do not want a man who needs them. I always tried to turn to girlfriends for emotional support and every time they'd split or get very turned off.

Thus you will never be able to recreate this idealized relationship with a woman. No woman wants a man for a son because she's busy chasing daddy.

What good is a woman if she leaves when I show any sign of weakness? That is when I need her. If I'm going to be that perfect rock what do I need her for? After a few times at this you just realize you need to rely on yourself and you don't need any dead weight.

S_Parc wrote:

Simoun wrote:S_Parc, where are you located right now? I'm from a nuclear family too. Except the hysterical one was my mother.

Boston area, eastern Mass.

My sister was the hysterical armchair feminist, who barely passed HS (and later flunked out of college & couldn't hold down a job). Dad was the rabid anti-communist Reaganite and mom was this sort of depressed, "couldn't deal with anything" type. Yeah, as you can guess, family gatherings were no fun.

I guess if my sister piped up and got herself a career, it would have worked out but you know AWs, accountable to no-one. She drove the family members crazy and now, her Magina husband & his relatives.

So if a nuclear family is this precarious, I couldn't imagine an extended one with numerous siblings and in-laws. At least in America, we can avoid the problematic relatives w/o it costing us, our standing in society.

Abroad, in many places, people see the extended family as one societal department and thus, family members have to work at propping up (while hiding), the rotten apples.

Hey I'm from Massachusetts/New Hampshire area and your Mother, Father, and Sister all sound like mine! Except my sister was able to do something with her life and finish University. However she is a loud mouth bitch who has a potty mouth like a sailor and always complaining why she can't find a man. She isn't fat though and could get one if she actually acted like a feminine lady instead of an angry feminazi cat lady. She moved to San Diego and bitches all the time about the people there, her attitude is much more suited for the North East though. My parents divorced in my teens. I see my mother as the one that was really messed up and f***ed me up as a boy trying to be a man. Since my father was always working I didn't have any role models so didn't figure out myself until in my early 20's while in the Navy.

Not necessarily about being horny. I personally love sex but not the relationship part.

It's much nicer pay my money and then have the rest of the day than to spend all night trying to get laid. Even when I do I'm filled with regret for time wasted and I don't enjoy the time talking to women or have anything I want to say to them.

I can inject 500mgs of testosterone and still feel the same only hornier (tested).

Mr S wrote:Hey I'm from Massachusetts/New Hampshire area and your Mother, Father, and Sister all sound like mine! Except my sister was able to do something with her life and finish University. However she is a loud mouth bitch who has a potty mouth like a sailor and always complaining why she can't find a man. She isn't fat though and could get one if she actually acted like a feminine lady instead of an angry feminazi cat lady. She moved to San Diego and bitches all the time about the people there, her attitude is much more suited for the North East though. My parents divorced in my teens. I see my mother as the one that was really messed up and f***ed me up as a boy trying to be a man. Since my father was always working I didn't have any role models so didn't figure out myself until in my early 20's while in the Navy.

Well, my sister did start off as a slim women, but then, upon marriage, circa age 28, she'd joined the Good Year blimp within 2 years. Unfortunately, she still lives along the i-95 corridor, so I do hear about her from time to time.

In some ways, I look back at a lot of things with a sense of outrage. When we were infants, Ken Olsen, founder of Digital Equipment Corp, grew a Massachusetts based company which had employed nearly ~100K in New England (MA/NH), and changed the face of minicomputers and technology. Numerous spinoffs and huge wealth creation, came out of those days.

Despite the weird conflicts at home, I was hoping to continue in the line of the greats which had preceded us but instead, I found a reality where we were in some bizarre cultural FemiNazi guerrilla war, lead by Smith College, and companies which stopped creating work but started work offshore (or in-shore to Texas/Carolina) in droves.

All and all, despite rejecting my own family's weaknesses, I couldn't reject the fact that the society around us was also crumbling at the same time. This is what changed me and made me stop looking for 'the one', in place of a type of survivalist mentality where getting through was more important than in being picked off, as another victim, like my sister's husband to the circumstances of the times.

well-informed wrote:We'll im 20 and i'm horny too, but if older folks are telling me what's up.. then i listen and respect what they have to say.

Except for you Hook, i won't listen to you lol

Yeah, join the club.