Are you manly enough?

[OTB]

What's up guys? I'm back to share my experiences abroad. Those of you who have traveled and spent some time abroad will know what I'm talking about. The first thing I want to get off my chest before I get into it is that I can't stand how women in this country are always trying to test you to see how much of a man you are? I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Their whole list of standards you have to meet up to prove how manly you are. You see this crap on okcupid. They talk about how he has to do this and how he has to do that. He has to be a funny and make them laugh. He can't put ketchup on his eggs. Yeah I've read that in a profile before on OKC. He has like watching sports because I like a manly man. I read that one on another site. I frickin sick of it. You can't just be a man anymore. You have to prove it!

Now, all of the times I've been to the Dominican Republic I've met women with such ease. They were genuinely friendly, they showed interest by making eye contact or smiling, and they were very approachable. This had nothing to do with me being American and they were trying kiss up to get something out of me. Hell, I had one that took me out to lunch and paid for it. Besides that the majority of them thought I was Dominican anyway until I told them I was American. So no slick games were being played. My point in telling you this is that I never felt like they were trying to test me to see how masculine or manly I was. I was a man and that was it. No trying to see how great a communicator I was or if I could make them bust out laughing. It was just a normal, heterosexual interaction where a woman enjoyed meeting a new guy. I met a caucasian guy over there, who was from Northern Pennsylvania, and he was having a blast with the Dominicanas. I hung out with him one night before he left back to the PA and the girls he had met were so pleasant and fun to hang out with. IT WAS ALL ABOUT HAVING A GOOD TIME. It was about flirting, teasing, and enjoying the interaction. No testing to if you could do this or that or feeling like you're being monitored. No expectations for you to be their personal entertainer. One broad I met over there, who was older, I walked into a store she was working at and she kept looking at me and smiling. So as I left I looked back and gave her the signal to write her phone number down. She instantly wrote it down and before you know it we hanging out at her house sitting back talking and kissing. She had two kids so we only did that in private. She wasn't a bimbo or whore. Again, she just enjoyed being with a man and enjoyed the interaction. She also spoke English. I met other women over there that just made interacting with women extremely pleasant and relaxing. The complete opposite of a male-female interaction here when a man and woman meet for the first time.

Have any of you guys ever experienced this with AW where you felt they were monitoring your every move to see if you measured up to their standards to see how manly you were?

[manly5000]

I know that I'M manly enough... 5000 times over.

[notfeelinusa2]

I can relate man. It all starts in high school. I am farily young so it is pretty fresh in my mind. When I was in middle school all the girls liked me, I had a lot of female friends, and everything came natural. Then in 9th grade I move and go to a high school where I dont know anybody. For some reason, even though I've been told Im a good looking guy, I remained shy and dateless for the entire four years. I never went to a school dance. Partly this was because I was scared by my high school interactions with American women. Whenever I tried to approach them, they would make comments to me or other ppl about how I was too thin, too nice, too quite, etc. etc. etc. I can't really explain it. It just never happened. They didnt see me as man enough because I didnt play football, I wasn't ripped, I didn't party, and I was generally just a shy introverted high school kid who liked basketball and just wanted to have an attractive girlfriend.

Yet for some reason, and this is weird, I have always gotten along with american black women. By american black women I am talking about suburban black middle class women, not ghetto women. They have always been kind and friendly and open to me. I have had numerous dates with them. I find their company enjoyable. However, I do not see any long term plans with these women for the simple reason that I do not see myself marrying a black woman, nor do I want black children. If I lived on an isolated island with no social constraints, maybe things would be different. For example, in the airport last week I had a drink at a bar. Sitting next to me was a gorgeous black woman. Turns out she was jamaican. I was having a very tough day and she actually listened to me like she cared. I doubt anglo women at bars would do this.

Now I am older I am seeing the same women around who have moved back home after college. These are the same women who rejected me in hs. Now they want to talk to me because they see me as "marriage material." Funny how the tables turn. I cant wait to explore central/south america and look for pure conservative catholic women who are very fine but also have the potential to be very good mothers.

So yes OTB sizing up men for their manliness starts in high school. Do you play football? Do you smoke weed? Do you party? Are you obnoxious???

[OTB]

That's goes to tell you how we live in a psychologically dysfunctional society where good qualities are looked down on and the bad qualities are praised. Now they want the good guy but it's too late because you know the game with those women. And you know what keep it like that. Never give into women like that. I'm sure you know that. When you get to Latin America you're gonna feel so good that didn't think twice about giving them a chance. They'll only be full of drama and give you heart ache in the long run man. You're young and you know what you want. You always emphasize how you're looking for a woman to be the mother of your children. That tells me a lot about you man. You got a good heart and don't let these simple, fickle, mentally dysfunctional women creep into your life and disrupt it. Save your money. Work on your Spanish. Focus on that so you can find a decent, attractive Latina who carries herself with class and has morals. You'll find it. I'm still on my hunt. In due time, like I said I want to be in Mexico.

[Taco]

AW are always testing you to see what they can get away with. In 3rd world countries this doesn't happen much because men in these countries don't care if the relationship ends, they'll have another girlfriend in a week thats even hotter and easier to please than the last one. When an American man loses his girlfriend it could be months or years before he finds another one and if she makes a false allegation of abuse then he's really screwed.

[jcris7]

The first thing I want to get off my chest before I get into it is that I can't stand how women in this country are always trying to test you to see how much of a man you are? I'm sure you know what I'm talking about. Their whole list of standards you have to meet up to prove how manly you are. You see this crap on okcupid. They talk about how he has to do this and how he has to do that. He has to be a funny and make them laugh. He can't put ketchup on his eggs. Yeah I've read that in a profile before on OKC. He has like watching sports because I like a manly man. I read that one on another site. I frickin sick of it. You can't just be a man anymore. You have to prove it!

That is the trend of AW on various dating sites. The hot and attractive ones have a list of demands as long as a MS-13 gang member's rap sheet, and if you miss the mark on even one of them, YOU ARE OUT my friend! May I remind all of you this is anecdotal, but true. A friend of mine, who is in great shape, is fitness & health conscious (doesn't drink much at all), and very laid back, set up to meet a chick on OKC. He's a decent guy, friendly and pleasant to everyone. Definitely not an alpha-douche. He showed me her pics before they met, and I said "Wow she's a knockout. Looks sweet too. I think she will like you dude!" They meet, and don't even get past first base, let alone the first date. Why? He called her a few days later for a second, not knowing there wouldn't be one. She told him "I'm not interested in you. You were a let down. You totally weren't what I expected. Besides, I like a man who can drink alcohol like me and act more masculine than you. (OUCH!) Besides, I didn't like your personality. You're too laid back and easygoing, and your laugh I found to be really annoying. You smiled too much for my liking" Jesus christ fellas! Is this woman your classic picky AW psycho or WHAT? I checked out her profile (its public), and I told him "no wonder you didn't hit it off with this chick! She has a list of demands that no man could meet unless you are Brad f***ing Pitt! Didn't you see this from the beginning?" He said "no, I just didn't think she was going to be like that" and that was the beginning of the end of his naivete about AW. Ever since, he's all the wiser and can't wait to go abroad. (He likes Asians too)

Have any of you guys ever experienced this with AW where you felt they were monitoring your every move to see if you measured up to their standards to see how manly you were?

Yes, I have. The top two in my book are:

1) A beautiful, but spoiled rotten Japanese-American artist I was dating (that means f***ing) in LA while doing my undergrad. Her parents were wealthy and successful business people. I picked her up one evening in my car as we were going to attend an upscale lawyers wine-and-cheese event which my law friend invited me to. It was the first time she had taken a ride with me, so she didn't know what I drove. I had recently found and financed a used, but immaculate 2004 Ford Crown Vic Police Interceptor (with the street appearance package) Its basically the cop car with the civilian crown vic styling and amenities (velour bench seats, no spotlights, etc). I was proud of the car - fun to drive and a great looking ride with the chrome grille/accents and arizona beige metallic paint. Here's where the bitch went postal. So I pick her up, and we're driving there, and she's like "Why do you like this car so much? This is an old people's car. Why didn't you get a Mustang? That's a guy's car. I'm embarrassed to be riding with you in this." Blah blah blah. Around this time I had been listening to Tom Leykis for about a month. So, I pulled over and said "If you don't like it, GET OUT, you ungrateful bitch." She had the nerve to say "I will. I don't want to be with you anymore." I said "Fine. We're done." Left her in the middle of the La Brea district. She was more than I was willing to put up with.

2) A pretty (but slutty & trashy) Mexican girl I went out on a date with. She was a hard liquor chick (tequila esp.) and got really annoyed with the fact I am a wine drinker and purist about it, through and through. The stupid bitch was getting on my case about it. I am by no means pretentious. I'm very cool and easy going about wine tasting. Because I'm doing sommelier training, I am like every other wine pro out there -- swirl, smell the nose for aromas, and take a sip and enjoy the flavors and personality of the wine. Then talk about it. She had the nerve to insult me and say "Are you sure you aren't gay? Because you're too sensitive for a straight guy." And I said "what is that supposed to mean?" She was like "Straight guys don't act like you." I was so annoyed I pulled a Leykis 101. Got up, went to our waiter who was at another table in the restaurant and said "Please have separate checks for us -- I'll pay my bill at the cashier" Took care of my portion, and left the bitch there. I don't ever put up with disrespect from a woman, no matter how attracted to her I am.

That just goes to show you slutty, trashy AW (esp. the Latina counterparts) lack culture, horizons and sophistication, but expect men to meet their demands and expectations. That is a rigged game I will not play.

[notfeelinusa2]

That's goes to tell you how we live in a psychologically dysfunctional society where good qualities are looked down on and the bad qualities are praised. Now they want the good guy but it's too late because you know the game with those women. And you know what keep it like that. Never give into women like that. I'm sure you know that. When you get to Latin America you're gonna feel so good that didn't think twice about giving them a chance. They'll only be full of drama and give you heart ache in the long run man. You're young and you know what you want. You always emphasize how you're looking for a woman to be the mother of your children. That tells me a lot about you man. You got a good heart and don't let these simple, fickle, mentally dysfunctional women creep into your life and disrupt it. Save your money. Work on your Spanish. Focus on that so you can find a decent, attractive Latina who carries herself with class and has morals. You'll find it. I'm still on my hunt. In due time, like I said I want to be in Mexico.

yes I am working on the spanish as we speak. I already have basic phrases and sentence structure down.

Im not trying to derail your thread, but I gotta ask you about american black middle class women. Why do you think I had the success I had with them? Why do they seem nicer than 99% of american whitle middle class women? Could they have been interested in me because I am white and it is a higher status thing for a black woman to be with a white man? Or am I just overthinking it?

[boycottamericanwomen]

American women are toxic filth- avoid them like the plague that they are. Do not try to date them, impress them, marry them, or anything. Just BOYCOTT THEM!

The only way you will get an American woman to respect you is if you TREAT HER LIKE SHIT! If you try to be a nice guy to them, they will treat you like crap. So, if you want to succeed with American women, just abuse them and treat them like the shit that they are, and they will love you for it.

Yes, foreign women are a million times better, they are REAL WOMEN.

Have you visited my Boycott American Women blog?

[NorthAmericanguy]

1) A beautiful, but spoiled rotten Japanese-American artist I was dating (that means f***ing) in LA while doing my undergrad. Her parents were wealthy and successful business people. I picked her up one evening in my car as we were going to attend an upscale lawyers wine-and-cheese event which my law friend invited me to. It was the first time she had taken a ride with me, so she didn't know what I drove. I had recently found and financed a used, but immaculate 2004 Ford Crown Vic Police Interceptor (with the street appearance package) Its basically the cop car with the civilian crown vic styling and amenities (velour bench seats, no spotlights, etc). I was proud of the car - fun to drive and a great looking ride with the chrome grille/accents and arizona beige metallic paint. Here's where the bitch went postal. So I pick her up, and we're driving there, and she's like "Why do you like this car so much? This is an old people's car. Why didn't you get a Mustang? That's a guy's car. I'm embarrassed to be riding with you in this." Blah blah blah. Around this time I had been listening to Tom Leykis for about a month. So, I pulled over and said "If you don't like it, GET OUT, you ungrateful bitch." She had the nerve to say "I will. I don't want to be with you anymore." I said "Fine. We're done." Left her in the middle of the La Brea district. She was more than I was willing to put up with.

2) A pretty (but slutty & trashy) Mexican girl I went out on a date with. She was a hard liquor chick (tequila esp.) and got really annoyed with the fact I am a wine drinker and purist about it, through and through. The stupid bitch was getting on my case about it. I am by no means pretentious. I'm very cool and easy going about wine tasting. Because I'm doing sommelier training, I am like every other wine pro out there -- swirl, smell the nose for aromas, and take a sip and enjoy the flavors and personality of the wine. Then talk about it. She had the nerve to insult me and say "Are you sure you aren't gay? Because you're too sensitive for a straight guy." And I said "what is that supposed to mean?" She was like "Straight guys don't act like you." I was so annoyed I pulled a Leykis 101. Got up, went to our waiter who was at another table in the restaurant and said "Please have separate checks for us -- I'll pay my bill at the cashier" Took care of my portion, and left the bitch there. I don't ever put up with disrespect from a woman, no matter how attracted to her I am.

I hate women like this^. Also, A+ on how you handled the situation with each of them.

[NorthAmericanguy]

American women are toxic filth- avoid them like the plague that they are. Do not try to date them, impress them, marry them, or anything. Just BOYCOTT THEM!

Quoted for truth.

[djfourmoney]

OP great post and I agree 100%. J7, man you get an A++ for dropping that bitch off, screw her.

[OTB]

@jcris7

I like a man who can drink alcohol like me

I dated an American broad back in 2006 and she said this same exact thing to me. I drink wine and a few other mild drinks but never hard liquor. She had the nerve to say to me, with no shame, "I need a guy who can drink hard liquor like me." I said to her, well, I think you need to find that guy. We were hanging out at her college (Virginia Tech). The next day I was out of there and that was the end of that.

Now, those two broads you were with I like the way you manned up and showed them you didn't need them. Get out of my life and stay out type of attitude. You know your self-worth. Good job brother![/quote]

[OTB]

@boycottamericanwomen

Have you visited my Boycott American Women blog?

Yes, I have. I love the rawness and the truthfulness of what you have to say. Do you ever talk to people about your views about AW and they say, "Well, you can't generalize a whole nation." There are good AW out there. I agree but the number is so low so why even try and find one?My best friend, who is Filipina, even said that the type of woman I'm looking for is rare in this country. People see it. I need to be in a place where the type of woman I'm looking for is in greater numbers which gives me a greater chance of meeting a woman of quality; morals, God-fearing, marriage minded, and modest. I just don't see it here. People say you never know you have to talk to them. How do you feel about that? In my opinion, drama, narcissism, and other mental issues like fear of men just radiate off them. Something I've never felt or seen abroad.

[E_Irizarry]

@jcris7,

I knew there was a reason why I didn't go hardbody postal on you when you made your first few posts on this site.

I'd had a sense that you would fit the altruistic bill of being a no-nonsense man that tells us his stories of how to become happier abroad and to school us too; now you're officially on the Yanks ballclub with us (f**k y'all that think we're garbage - Tigers got lucky LOLOLOL j/k!)

------------------------

@notfeelingusa2,

Yeap - it's more than likely because you are White that you have had the best experiences with them. Be warned, almost 3/4's of them have HSV (i.e. hurps i.e. herpes). ..Black American women that is.

[onezero4u]

haha good stories fellahs...

ive actually got a guilty pleasure ill share with yawl.

whenever im out on a 1st or 2nd date...i am half-hoping she pull some unnaceptably disrespectful behavior towards me....just so i can have a chance to leave her at some place with half the check waiting for her haha