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My Trip to California (Inspired by Member Lavezzi)

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My Trip to California (Inspired by Member Lavezzi)

Postby Fenix » Tue Oct 11, 2011 10:57 pm

Your trip report was so compelling, lavezzi, that I had to write my own version. It was too outrageous of a story for me not to find inspiration. No offense to you! I hope you and others enjoy this. This is a flash fiction story I wrote a few minutes ago. I wanted to write my version for months now and it finally popped in my head. I am pissed today, so that helps

My inspiration came from this: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=11019

My Trip to California

I heard American women were easy to land in bed. I am a Welsh guy and I heard American women would drop their panties, get wet and then f**k my brains out when I told them I was from Wales. I am unemployed, but I stole some money from my pops, so I am going to California for about 5 days. I want to f**k some Hollywood chicks! I wish all Welsh girls could be California girls! God, I love David Lee Roth! The plane flight was hell! I wanted to hit on one of the flight attendants and she told me to f**k off. I haven't had sex in about 5 months, so I unzipped my pants and began to jack off in my seat. Everything was cool until one of the attendant's asked me if I wanted something to drink. I jizzed on her uniform. That was too bad.

Moments later, I am walking down Sunset Boulevard. Damn, there are lots of fags down here! I am strolling down right and I see this fine ass blonde and this obese Asian chick. The blonde came up to me and she said, "Hey good looking! Wanna f**k me on the streets?" I replied, "I don't want people to see us!" She said, "Come on! I am so horny!" I told the skank, "All right, let's go." Little did I know, she pulled out a badge and she said, "Freeze! You f***ing scumbag!" The obese Asian chick saved me! She karate chopped that pig and she threw her like 40 feet down the street like she was a bowling ball. It made my dick hard. I walked up to the Asian chick and I began talking to her. "Hey, thanks for saving my life. I don't have $1,000 to f**k her." I said. "Well, how about f***ing me for free?" Asian chick said. Me being the nasty ass dude I am, I said yes. We walked for about an hour in some alley. I had little money. Remember, I am unemployed.

This Asian chick weighed about 500 lbs and she smelled like sushi and peanut butter. I asked her her age and she said "I am 72, but look 65." It was a warm and gloomy night tonight in California. I had little money and I had nowhere else to go. I crashed in this cardboard box with this Asian chick. I met tons of bums that were 40-60 years of age. The most down to Earth people I ever met. I don't know why this Asian chick is turning me on since I am usually timid and I hate approaching women. I spent three days with her on the streets and I wanted some p***y, so why not ask my friend? I f***ed her 72-year old p***y without a condom and then after the fantastic sex, we took some PCP. Hey, she offered, so why not? One of the bums whispered in my ear and said, "Dude, you know that Asian chick has AIDS right?" I was flabbergasted. "You bullshitting!" I replied. "No, I am not kidding. She has full blown AIDS. She has f***ed everything in sight."

She even f***ed a dead chicken that she got from TGI Lick My Pussies." The bum said. Wow! I just f***ed a homeless, 72-year old Asian chick with AIDS and she was a dopehead. Perfect combination huh? I didn't f***ing care. I was in America! Home of the free! Land of the brave! I could f**k an AIDS infested c**t off the streets of Los Angeles and no one cared because this is the land of opportunity! Speaking of opportunity, I wanted some cocaine. This is the only money I have, so why not spend it on something useful? I wanted some cocaine and some crystal meth. I want to go all out! One of my dreams was to f**k a tranny and there are plenty of them around. I have AIDS now, so why not? I am about to have this tranny orgy with my Asian girlfriend that keeps screaming when I put in my dick that she wants to "love me long time" and she says, "me so horny!"

My last night in California had to be special. I had a few bucks, so I hit up this club called the Blue Icicle. Dude, when you walk into this club, you saw nothing but Playboy bunnies! Wow! I went up to about 20 of these women. I had the confidence of Don Juan. I would say about two out of the twenty women rejected me. I had this perception that all American women would get wet as the saliva shot to my tongue. American women dig accents right? I wanted to f**k this chick named Reagan so much, but I blew all of my money on PCP and cocaine and the club fee. The club fee was $100. I am not kidding. Reagan was cute and she even told me she would pay for the hotel room, but I politely declined.

She kissed me on my cheek and told me "good night." The moment she drove off in her BMW was the moment I said to myself, "What the hell did I just decline?" When I finally wanted an American blonde, I declined, but I f***ed this Asian chick that looks like Margaret Cho. All of my arrogance went out of the window. America wasn't so glamourous like I thought it was while watching it on the telly. My whole opinion has changed drastically. I went to this free clinic around the way and I have to admit that I do have AIDS.

In addition, I have genital herpes, hepatitis A, B and C, lupus and the common cold. I am a walking morgue. One thing I can take from my trip to California, besides my imminent death are a couple of things: 1. Homeless people are really friendly. 2. The PCP I had was the best I ever had. I feel like Superman! 3. I should have f***ed the Asian chick in her anus. That is about it with my regrets. I will leave America and go back to Wales as a rock star! Don't be jelly! :P
Fenix
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Postby odbo » Tue Oct 11, 2011 11:55 pm

That would never happen. Oh wait.. http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=11019

I know where Lavezzi is coming from. The other members viewed him as crazy because of the age gap. When I was 18-20 years old I had a different mentality and did similar things, though I never f***ed a senior citizen. I believe at that age the part of the brain responsible for recognizing risk isn't fully developed yet, so you're not really an adult until you hit 20.

Also keep in mind even as recently as the 1980s there was real freedom in the west and people had rich experiences. Now everything is bland, safe and predictable. Traveling to a another country is not the life changing experience it used to be. Something to think about. And you're probably all just jealous of Lavezzi's trip. :)
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Postby Dogboy86 » Tue Dec 20, 2011 6:34 pm

Great story Phoenix! I like it better than the original post...
"Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity"!!!
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Postby E_Irizarry » Tue Dec 20, 2011 6:59 pm

P-Sosa just clowned that dude. Jajajajajajajaja "Cool story, bro". Jajajajaja!
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)

"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)

"MGTOW resilience is the key to foreign residence. You better muthafuckin' ask somebody!!"
- E. Irizarry (2012)

"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)

TanBoy by DNA | Despedido, Hugo Chavez...Descansa en paz!
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Postby Grunt » Tue Dec 20, 2011 11:46 pm

Theres a LOT of Cool Story Bro on this forum lately.
How to deal with newbies that talk much but do little.

Pics or it didn't happen.

YES/NO

Cool story, bro.

Problem solved.
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Postby E_Irizarry » Wed Dec 21, 2011 6:59 pm

Grunt wrote:Theres a LOT of Cool Story Bro on this forum lately.


There's a reason why quotation marks are utilized in the English language, man. Just simmer down, and don't direct your fit at me, sir.
I am one of your biggest fans - love it or hate it.
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)

"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)

"MGTOW resilience is the key to foreign residence. You better muthafuckin' ask somebody!!"
- E. Irizarry (2012)

"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)

TanBoy by DNA | Despedido, Hugo Chavez...Descansa en paz!
E_Irizarry
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Posts: 2352
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2008 8:07 am
Location: The Corporation ( the U.S. of Gay )

Postby green1976 » Mon Dec 26, 2011 8:47 pm

You can find lavezzi on Pattaya Addict..

http://www.pattaya-addicts.com/forum/to ... -jan-2012/

For those who want to see his pics..you need to open an account in Pattaya addict.

I have an account there with the same id as here and i have nothing to hide on my Pattaya and Thai addiction.:D

This guy lavezzi clearly know what he is doing,he could have gone to the wrong places before just for a testing,or talking about half of the world where to find good ladies, but on the ground he is in Pattaya right now,f***ing and banging chicks like an animal :lol:


Good for him and only less that 4 weeks for me before going back to Thailand!!
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Postby E_Irizarry » Mon Dec 26, 2011 8:56 pm

green1976 wrote:You can find lavezzi on Pattaya Addict..

http://www.pattaya-addicts.com/forum/to ... -jan-2012/

For those who want to see his pics..you need to open an account in Pattaya addict.

I have an account there with the same id as here and i have nothing to hide on my Pattaya and Thai addiction.:D

This guy lavezzi clearly know what he is doing,he could have gone to the wrong places before just for a testing,or talking about half of the world where to find good ladies, but on the ground he is in Pattaya right now,f***ing and banging chicks like an animal :lol:


Good for him and only less that 4 weeks for me before going back to Thailand!!


YUP banging those Thai women with his HIV-positive-ass dick that he had contracted from the Black crackwhore GILF he met in the Village.
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)

"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)

"MGTOW resilience is the key to foreign residence. You better muthafuckin' ask somebody!!"
- E. Irizarry (2012)

"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)

TanBoy by DNA | Despedido, Hugo Chavez...Descansa en paz!
E_Irizarry
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Posts: 2352
Joined: Sat Jul 05, 2008 8:07 am
Location: The Corporation ( the U.S. of Gay )


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