Discuss and talk about any general topic.
So first off I just want to define what I mean by a good man. The kind of man I am referring to is the guy of average looks who works hard, takes care of himself, doesn't do anything too reckless, and basically just lives a balanced life. He's the kind of guy who would probably be labeled a "nice guy" by most AW and would probably spend the majority of his life lonely and depressed in the USA.
This begs the question though: Why do so many good men in the USA just get totally ignored by AW? I have heard a few different explanations for this however the most generally accepted one seems to be the idea that in wealthy countries women don't need men for providers so they go around with bad guys because they find them more entertaining.
While I can see this as clearly being true in the USA, I don't think this applies to all wealthy industrialized countries. I have met several girls from France, Germany, Japan, and even Scandinavia who, despite being raised in wealthy societies, actually appreciated a good man. To be honest, I consider this whole notion that the socioeconomic conditions of the country where a woman was born determine whether she pursues bad boys or good men to be just plain wrong. If it was true then I would not have met so many good girls from other wealthy industrialized countries. I think the reason is actually something more cultural, like there is something inherently wrong with American (and possibly all Anglo culture) that produces such spoiled, immature, low-quality girls.
I'm pretty sure that this same good man, had he grown up in Continental Europe, would have a loving girlfriend or wife and would be recognized for what he is; a good man.
What do you think? Any thoughts?
It's a simple answer. American society has produced individuals with low attention spans who view boredom as a living hell. The result is that American women want to constantly be entertained and a good man is not as entertaining as the bad boy. In other industrialized countries that you mentioned, people are not constantly excessively stimulated and so do not find good men boring the way American women do.
I think tv plays a big role in this. Americans watch more tv than anybody else in the world. There are so many reality tv shows and other crazy stuff that tells women that they can pout, stamp their feet and demand whatever they want in a man.
Also, tv shows and movies in America show men as incompetent losers and shows women as being smart and independent. Even commericals on tv show this. Check out this great blog called, "Anglobitch" it will explain to you all you need to know regarding women in anglo counntries.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
I would have to say that's an accurate point of view. I agree!
In the U.S., countless guys have been chronically ignored and friend-zoned - i.e., not considered to be potential romantic partners - for being average nice/good guys. This should not happen unless there are gross gender ratio disparities such as in China. This certainly does not happen among working-class Latin Americans.
As I've posted in http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=12355 :
Many times, I've been told by women in Mexico that they admire me for being a "persona muy buena" ("very good person") - especially women who know what poverty and abuse are all about. You're basically good enough if you're a "guy of average looks who works hard, takes care of himself, doesn't do anything too reckless, and basically just lives a balanced life" (quoting the OP).
While traveling in southern Mexico, I've been admired by indigenous Amerindian girls from a town in western Oaxaca called San Juan Copala. They're from an Indian tribe called the Triqui, which is surrounded by the more populous Mixtecs. They joked that they'll get me married to a Triqui girl, and even asked me if I have any nephews or cousins available for them, haha. Now do a Google search on "San Juan Copala violence" and you'll see why. The town has had food shortages, blockades, shootings, rapes, and tortures for many years due to power struggles and anarchy in general. Traditional martial customs don't make the situation any better. Since Triqui men have to pay dowries of tens of thousands of pesos in order to get a wife, they will often feel they own the wife and can do anything they want to her. Of course, this can sometimes result in some horrible domestic violence. The Triqui women also told me that many of the men in their town are known for excessive drunkenness and violence (though there are many good local men too, but they get taken quickly). Later, I found that this claim is further confirmed by an academic source in http://www.sil.org/mexico/mixteca/triqu ... ch-trc.htm :
So then I understood why they would like me. If you were a women growing up under these conditions, you would definitely want a nice guy unless you were an absolute nutcase.
On the other hand, arrogant First World women need to wake up and become aware of the world around them.
Last edited by Falcon on Fri Jan 20, 2012 7:49 am, edited 1 time in total.
Now here is what life is like for indigenous Triqui women in San Juan Copala, Oaxaca. These are folks who know how to appreciate nice people, because they've been through so much.
Now here's some legit feminism: Indigenous women protesting and campaigning for basic rights.
Thanks for the responses, you guys. There is no denying that a certain amount of why American women act the way they do is because they are so spoiled, and it makes sense that women growing in more hostile conditions would be more appreciative of a good man. However, that still doesn't explain why women from other industrialized countries outside of the Anglosphere, who have not had to go through such traumatic experiences, are still more appreciative of good men. Like I said, I have met women from Western Europe (excluding the UK) who grew up in normal middle-class homes who are still far less bitchy than American women and much more appreciative of good men.
Early colonists in the U.S. had a gender shortage which was exacerbated by religious fundamentalism (which was the norm back then), war, and resources. Women adapt these norms whether they be racial or national. in the case of the U.S. race is a blinding source of differences and various individuals work to profit or squelch most of it.
So over time America evolved the more puritantical roots which have self contained highly hypocritical viewpoints. The reason why religious sects split apart is because of political/social concerns.
It's a variety of factors, the most severe being, in my view, a rotten culture that promotes female superiority and privilege. But being a wealthy society helps spoil women too, although I think that is largely from mangina influence. It isn't that way because it has to be, just because of the wealth. Laws help reinforce bad culture, such as divorce laws, child support and alimony laws, etc. Those are not causes but products of feminism. Ultimately, it's the cultural reasons that spoil American women.
That's part of it, yes. But it goes deeper than the short attention span. Mass media tends to influence society in greater measure than we realize. If you look at Hollywood productions, who are the men that are portrayed as most desirable and always get the girls? It is certainly not the nice guys, but the bad boys who have a certain edge.
Nice guys, in contrast, are often portrayed as inept, bumbling, awkward or flawed in some way. American women pick up on that. Poised and together nice guys tend to be gay ones in mass media which implies that to be a nice guy is to be less masculine.
The other big factor is that women are programmed by feminism to be hedonistic at all costs. "Have it all" is still the mantra and a nice guy just does not lend itself to satiating the hedonistic desires of American women who want a six figure income, a Harley, tattoos, hard drinking, and "fun" married life with a man. Anything less would be a failure and justification to dump the man (or the marriage) and find another.
Understand that American women are damaged goods via conditioning. You can change what it took 21 years to screw-up!
"I appreciate the opportunities I have in America. Opportunities that allow me to live abroad." **Smiles** - Have2Fly@H.A. (2013)
"The only way to overcome that is to go abroad to get a broad."
- E. Irizarry (2009)
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"I rather be ostracized by 157.0 million (27.3% of the US of Gay pop), then to appease 1 feminist." - E. Irizarry (2013)
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Very good post Contrarian, I have lived first hand what your saying. I have dated women here that look and act great at first, then as they get to know me the tests begain. Do I live up to my hard look? Will I put hands on them if they act out? Given the chance to get with an equal or better girl will I take it? Will I spend with no concern for tomorrow? These are day to day things being with one of these type women. I'm no longer playing the game by the rules and have in my own way fliped the scrip on them. No more of that nonsense...
They want to be treated poorly to feed their desire to be the victim and have others feel sorry for them. They need to have this pity to continue to play their games.
"Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity"!!!
Nobody is forcing anybody to do anything, though having said that pressure from others to conform is very powerful.
Good Women in America? Sure but they are in much less supply than other women available. I don't agree that legitimate complaints about the state of relationships in America is not like Two year olds (who can barely talk) bashing AW. I agree that many men make mistakes they logistically shouldn't make but they do.
Good women in Starbucks, Wendy's, Subway and Outlet Malls??? Are you serious? The majority of women in those locations are teenagers and young adults... I'm fairly sure the majority of posters here are in their 30's or older. You know how AW feel about large age differences, they don't like them! 2-5-7 years is normal. Only women with children from other relationships are willing to go 10-12 years in age difference.
Are you saying these are the only "Good" women left????? Those and BBW's?
I've met women various ways and its just not as simple as looking for nice women in some area or place of business. What horrifying simple logic!
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