Winston, How is your son?

[Billy]

Because, obviously some of us have no life. I won´t give names.lol

[jamesbond]

[Ned Zeppelin]

Hey Winston -- you got a Filipina sister brah?

http://www.dateinasia.com/sophie_1008.html

Wow. That honestly does look like Winston.

[Rock]

Hey Winston -- you got a Filipina sister brah?

http://www.dateinasia.com/sophie_1008.html

Wow. That honestly does look like Winston.

Winston, you really need to contact this girl. She might be your souldmate. If she ended up bearing you a son, he would surely be your Mini-me, lol.

[Winston]

*Didn't want to post this in the questions to Winston thread. Other members may want to comment*

How is your son doing?


I have been thinking about this for the last few days. When Angelo gets older like around 10-14, what is your opinion on how he will feel about you? Are you going to be in his life more by then? What do you think about your son? You always say the word "freedom," but you don't really have freedom. When you do things in your life, does your son even come up in your thoughts? Do you think Angelo is going to be as intellectual as you are or like take on Dianne's genes? You never really talk about your son. I just wanted to know some of this stuff. Not trying to invade your personal space, but I just wanted to know your view on all of this. You can't have freedom if you have a son. Yes, you are a nomad, but he is always going to be in your life, so you can't just avoid him. He does exist.

Why would I talk about him? Nothing special is going on with him. It's not like he's doing something extraordinary that is newsworthy. You didn't need to create a new thread for this. You could have just asked this question in the pre-existing threads about him.

My focus now is on travel, freedom and going somewhere more exciting.

I don't have opinions to most of your questions. No one can predict such things. All you can do is plan for today and do something constructive today. Live in the moment. Very few things in life go according to plan.

Sure he comes up in my thoughts. But we can control our thoughts.

Your claim that I don't have freedom is fallacious. I've explained it to you before, but here it is again one more time. Please don't waste my time again by rehashing out debunked arguments. FYI, we can choose our thoughts. I don't have to think about something or someone if I don't want to. I simply stop thinking about it.

By your logic, I could say that you don't have freedom because you have to eat everyday and think about food, that you have to think about money everyday, that you have to worry about your friends and family everyday, etc. But these are all moot points.

You are not free from health, food, laws, money, time, your desires, etc. You get it? If so, then why are you trying to pick on me for this?

Freedom is having the ability, time and resources to do what you want. No one is 100 percent free of everything. But I have a lot more freedom than most people who are tied down by a regular job and marriage. That's the point.

It doesn't mean I don't have attachments and burdens. We all do. But you CAN make choices in life that give you more freedom, not less. Freedom is not a "yes or no" thing. It's about the DEGREES of freedom that you have.

Most importantly, I am FREE from caring about other people's opinions, including yours. I don't need your approval or anyone else's approval in my life. So I am FREE of that. To be truly free, you have to begin by freeing your mind from caring about what other people think. For the umpteenth time, I would rather be happy and free with disapproval from everyone, than be miserable and enslaved just to gain everyone's approval. It's a no brainer. There's simply no contest.

My son is a burden, yeah, but so what? Life has many burdens, as mentioned above. He doesn't need that much money to survive in the Philippines, so I'm fortunate about that.

But that doesn't mean that I have no freedom at all, as you insinuate.

You don't care about my son. If you did, you would email me privately, like my other friends did, and ask how my son was or say happy birthday to him on his birthday a few weeks ago. Or you would have sent him some toys like my wealthy friend in France did. But you don't even like kids. So why would you post this strange question?

I think you are trying to troll bait me and shame me into a flame war. Why didn't you ask Mr S or Think Different, or others here about how their children are? Why only me? Why pick on me?

[Billy]

+1

[Winston]

Heh. Nice pics as always Odbo. I never saw those old ones with him playing with his kid. That's great stuff.

It's hard to say how Winston's kid will handle this when he grows up. If Winston still treats him like this when he's capable of internalizing all the neglect at around age 5+ then he's going to end up real f***ed up. He's too young right now so Winston can get away with it for now. Besides the mom seems to be picking up the slack.

I don't think Angelo sees Winston as anything more than a rival for Diane's attention. When he's there, he's more like someone in the background, not a father figure. I don't know if doing a U-turn when he the child reaches 5 or so will cut it. Angelo's feelings towards his father will probably always be confused at the very least.

Let's face it. A lot of kids are raised by single mothers in so many countries. Perhaps one of the endearing factors of areas like NE Asia is that the incidence is much lower. Ironic that Winston himself is of NE Asian ancestry.

This is sort of true. If it's just me and my son alone, we get along ok. It's when Dianne is around that he starts to see me as a rival and becomes jealous and possessive. If I'm not around though, he asks about me. He doesn't understand why he can't just get on a plane and go to Taiwan. He doesn't understand the concept of government, laws and money yet. So it's hard to explain to him.

He is not obedient at all though. There is no way to have sex with Dianne around him (not that we have any sex anyway). He can't stand her not being around for even one minute. He follows her everywhere like a magnet. I've never seen such a codependent toddler before. And totally self-centered too. It must be terrible being a mother. I can't understand why women want to be a mother so badly. If I were to stay home with Dianne and my son, my life would be totally boring. Everything would be based around him. There would be no time for me or Dianne's needs. He is like a total tyrant who doesn't give you your own space or privacy. It's terrible. What do I get out of it? What's the point of such a "family life" when you have no freedom and are treated like a servant? You can't do anything or enjoy anything around him, cause he dominates every little thing. That's what I hate. A selfish father and a selfish child are a bad combo. He and I would get into shouting/crying matches as I fight for my freedom and he fights to take it away and we both fight for the center of attention. We are not a good match. I won't give in to his demands and he won't give in to mine either.

I would much rather have had a girl. They are much cuter, prettier and easier to get along with. I vibe better and get along with girls better. Their personality complements mine better.

For a parent to give up all his freedom and become a slave to a child seems pointless. What do we get out of it? If nothing, then why should I put up with all the hindrance to my freedom and privacy? Nature forgot to give parents any reward for this to make putting up with it worth it. It's not worth it, bottom line. It defies logic.

Having children in reality is one of the worst things that can happen to you. I just wrote my ultimate essay on children. Wait til you guys see it. It will blow your socks off and put everything in perspective.

But on the other hand, if you don't have them, you will feel empty and incomplete. Nature hardwires you to want them. That's why I had one. So I guess this is a case of "damned if you do, damned if you don't". I would regret it either way.

Oh well, I guess the challenge now is to find a balance which saves me from both miseries - of not having a child vs. having one. I guess I'm fortunate that he lives in a third world country where costs of living can be cheap.

[Winston]

As to the future of my son, well what would you do considering the following?

1. I can't stay in PI long term cause I hate it there and the environment inflicts damage to my health.
2. I can't bring my son to live in Taiwan because he can't tolerate one day, or even one hour, without his mom. But on the other hand, Dianne can't stay in Taiwan long term unless we get married. And we all know my stance on marriage here.
3. But even if I could bring him to Taiwan and find a way to let him stay long term here, with or without Dianne, there's another problem. I don't fit in Taiwan or thrive here. It's not a culture that fits me long term. So if I went somewhere else, I'd have to leave him with my parents and burden them with him. Even if they agree to that, I would still feel guilty about it.
4. What if I go to China, or another country, and find my soulmate there and stay there or decide to get married there? Then what? It may not be in my best interest to tell my Chinese/Foreign girlfriend or wife that I have a son already. Most women don't want a man with children. So it would not be my first choice to bring my son to live with me in another country (besides Taiwan) nor bring my foreign girlfriend/wife to Taiwan where she would see him either.

You see how complicated all this is? What's the solution? Where is the win-win solution to the above? What would you do? Every decision is a series of trade-offs. I don't see a win-win situation here.

[Winston]

What kind of friends are you? I am the only one who defends Winston?

Comparing Bruce to Winston is a no brainer. Bruce Lee had no surviving capabilities. So it was no surprise his son was also a failure and died young.

Winston on the other hand is truly free. People thought: Now, he did the mistake. He is trapped. No, you can´t stop Winston.

Bruce is a failure. Training 10 hours a day. Stupid guy. Did you know that he had german blood?

That's an interesting way to put it. Thanks for defending me Billy. But that's a bit unfair to Bruce Lee. He was a victim of bad luck, mysterious circumstances, a curse, a fragile body, etc. And so was his son, who was in fact, possibly murdered, as the official explanation for the way he was killed was scientifically impossible according to ballistics experts. A projectile lodged in the barrel of a gun shooting blanks cannot possible have the same force as that of a real bullet. No one has been able to replicate that or demonstrate it. All attempts to do so have not even come close. A gun firing blanks with a projectile jammed in the barrel will only propel the projectile out with very little force and distance. There was no real investigation into it, only a hackneyed police report, which was likely a cover up.

But anyway, the Lee family appears to have some kind of bad karma working against them. We can never understand the workings of such things. But mysterious things do happen. Look at the Kennedy family. Way too many tragic deaths that are beyond coincidence, more than most people remember.

Bruce Lee was unique, but kind of overrated. He was not invincible. He didn't even fight in any real tournaments. He only got into street fights. He became legendized though due to his untimely death, kind of like how JFK was.

His wife was not attractive at all though, and she was kind of weird too. So I guess I beat him in one category.

But my point long ago is still true. Even if Bruce Lee had been a bad father, it would not have changed his reputation or legend. No one is remembered in the history books for being a good father. It's nothing that makes the history books. The only people who appreciate it are family.

[Falcon]

What happened to all the good old times? *sniff sniff*

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Dianne looks so healthy and beautiful. She is glowing. I think you will make a great dad. You are a good person, and have a good heart. And you have been a real man and stayed with your girl when you two found out you were having a baby. I am not a feminist by any means, but I have major trust issues with men and do not like them. But when I see someone like you, that takes care of their family as you do, then some of my negative thinking starts to fade. You are a goodperson. And your lady is beautiful, and looks like a kind person as well. I think she will be a very nurturing mom. I am happy for you Winston. Four years I have seen you all over the internet. I always thought of you as a good guy-a bit rambunctious but good. But now with you settling down a bit, it brings out the best in you. I do not know why I followed you around and have all of these opinions. lol Maybe you were my brother in a past life. I wish you were. lol But you take care of you and your cute little family.

But then it all went downhills.

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Wifey ain't too happy about this.

http://www.happierabroad.com/Jobelle_Mary.htm
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Childrearing isn't going too well either.

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Q:


A:

[keius]

I don't know why we are rehashing this topic again. It's been beaten to death.
Winston doesn't deny his stance and has stated why he's made the choices he did.
I don't agree that what he's done is the right thing to do but at least he's being honest (mostly) with himself.

He's made his choices and he (and Angelo unfortunately) will have to live with them. 'nuf said.

[Fenix]

*Didn't want to post this in the questions to Winston thread. Other members may want to comment*

How is your son doing?


I have been thinking about this for the last few days. When Angelo gets older like around 10-14, what is your opinion on how he will feel about you? Are you going to be in his life more by then? What do you think about your son? You always say the word "freedom," but you don't really have freedom. When you do things in your life, does your son even come up in your thoughts? Do you think Angelo is going to be as intellectual as you are or like take on Dianne's genes? You never really talk about your son. I just wanted to know some of this stuff. Not trying to invade your personal space, but I just wanted to know your view on all of this. You can't have freedom if you have a son. Yes, you are a nomad, but he is always going to be in your life, so you can't just avoid him. He does exist.

Why would I talk about him? Nothing special is going on with him. It's not like he's doing something extraordinary that is newsworthy. You didn't need to create a new thread for this. You could have just asked this question in the pre-existing threads about him.

My focus now is on travel, freedom and going somewhere more exciting.

I don't have opinions to most of your questions. No one can predict such things. All you can do is plan for today and do something constructive today. Live in the moment. Very few things in life go according to plan.

Sure he comes up in my thoughts. But we can control our thoughts.

Your claim that I don't have freedom is fallacious. I've explained it to you before, but here it is again one more time. Please don't waste my time again by rehashing out debunked arguments. FYI, we can choose our thoughts. I don't have to think about something or someone if I don't want to. I simply stop thinking about it.

By your logic, I could say that you don't have freedom because you have to eat everyday and think about food, that you have to think about money everyday, that you have to worry about your friends and family everyday, etc. But these are all moot points.

You are not free from health, food, laws, money, time, your desires, etc. You get it? If so, then why are you trying to pick on me for this?

Freedom is having the ability, time and resources to do what you want. No one is 100 percent free of everything. But I have a lot more freedom than most people who are tied down by a regular job and marriage. That's the point.

It doesn't mean I don't have attachments and burdens. We all do. But you CAN make choices in life that give you more freedom, not less. Freedom is not a "yes or no" thing. It's about the DEGREES of freedom that you have.

Most importantly, I am FREE from caring about other people's opinions, including yours. I don't need your approval or anyone else's approval in my life. So I am FREE of that. To be truly free, you have to begin by freeing your mind from caring about what other people think. For the umpteenth time, I would rather be happy and free with disapproval from everyone, than be miserable and enslaved just to gain everyone's approval. It's a no brainer. There's simply no contest.

My son is a burden, yeah, but so what? Life has many burdens, as mentioned above. He doesn't need that much money to survive in the Philippines, so I'm fortunate about that.

But that doesn't mean that I have no freedom at all, as you insinuate.

You don't care about my son. If you did, you would email me privately, like my other friends did, and ask how my son was or say happy birthday to him on his birthday a few weeks ago. Or you would have sent him some toys like my wealthy friend in France did. But you don't even like kids. So why would you post this strange question?

I think you are trying to troll bait me and shame me into a flame war. Why didn't you ask Mr S or Think Different, or others here about how their children are? Why only me? Why pick on me?

I know we are beating a dead horse here, but I was genuinely concerned. This is a forum right? You are not afraid to talk about other matters, so why not leave this for open discussion?

Why would you talk about your son? Because he is your son?? Wow. I am not the type of poster to go searching for archived threads. Why not make a new thread about it? You are just angry that I am talking about this subject. Took you light years to respond back to me.

You know you are not a spring chicken anymore right? How long are you going to be a globe trekker? Do you ever think about settling down? You can't be the playboy forever. I hope you do go to China. I want nothing but the best for you, even though it doesn't sound like I do

Your point about not having freedom is the dumbest thing I have ever heard in my life. We need food in order to survive. Of course I am going to think about food and money because you need money to buy the damn food! You have the worst analogies of all-time. I am serious. Dumbest thing I have read this week.

Oh, I am wasting my time rehashing debunked arguments? Look who's talking. You are the main rehash king. You rehash worse than the WWE. You have to be kidding me, man. You generally have no concern over your son and that is crazy to me. I tend to care about things and people too damn much, so sorry for being concerned. My method of asking you is not of your liking, I don't care. You can suck it.

Winston, Winston, Winston, I have been healthy my entire life. I have never been to the hospital for nothing. I have never been injured. Never been ill except for the flu and food poisoning. I don't have a criminal record and I don't break any laws. We all need money to live. Time is going to pass, so no one has control over that. Hmm, picking on you...Isn't this thread called "Winston, how is your son?" Not, "Members, how are your kids doing?" I am sure the members on this forum have kids and they are in their lives like ErikHeaven is in his daughter's life. If ErikHeaven posted something as ridiculous has him calling his 4-year old son "selfish" or "monster' then I would get on his ass too. No one is picking on you.

You are not free from opinions and you certainly do care about the approval of your life, so don't even lie about that shit. That bolded paragraph is more ridiculousless and more crap. Hmm, there's a thread call "Danielle is Proof that Winston is attractive to some women" and this was you posting to me about some ex of yours saying you were attractive. You cared about what I thought and other members thought about what women think of your looks, so you cared about our opinions. You are a piece of work. You amaze me each time. Oh, remember that thread about you asking us how you look in those winter clothes, but you don't care about other opinions, gotcha. Oh yeah, remember those threads about how to approach Taiwanese girls and asking advice about other things, but you don't care about approval of others on your choices in life or what not. You never care.

You can't claim you have a history of not lying because you have lied a lot on this site, but whatever.

Your son is a burden and why is that? Is he getting more breastfeeding on Dianne's breasts than you are? Falcon made a great post about how you went from happy having a baby boy and a year or so later you went in a downward spiral. That is crazy to me. If you have a son, he will always be in your life. You are going to be supporting him some type of way. You supporting him by giving him money is not enough. You are just like the rest of the deadbeat fathers out here, but you think that's okay.

I don't care about your son? Huh? You don't even care about your son. I made this thread to see what was up with him. I didn't think this thread would become a bashing brigade, and that's not my fault. Another lie! Who said I didn't like kids? Anyone that knows me knows I love kids. Loving kids is different than having kids. I don't want to be a father and there's nothing wrong with that. You? You are a father and you pretend your son doesn't exist. Big difference.

Dude, I ask people how their kids are all of the time and how their parents are and etc. I didn't know it as your son's birthday and that is ridiculous for you to even mention that comment. You didn't even acknowledge your son's birthday on the forum, so what the blue hell? You are so cute. You say I am trolling you and baiting you, but it looks like you are doing that to me. Again, this thread is about you and not no one else. Members have made threads about me too and I don't see you posting in those threads. "Why did you post this about PhxSosa and not the other members?" Did you post that when ssjparris made a thread about me? Nope...Great job with this post, man. You are really delusional on this post.

[Falcon]

Winston, please take a moment to listen to this beautiful, and sad, Bikolano song from southern Luzon. Let me know what you think.



http://en.wikipilipinas.org/index.php?t ... folk_songs
http://vagabonddrifter.wordpress.com/ta ... -si-tatay/

Si Nanay Si Tatay
Dear Mother, Dear Father


Si Nanay, si Tatay di ko babayaan.
Balakid na boot an sakuyang utang -
Si pagdara sako nin siyam na bulan
Gatas kong dinodo di ko mabayadan.

Mother dear, Father dear, ne'er shall I go away,
for I owe you a debt I can never repay -
The nine months I had lived as an unborn baby,
The milk from Mother's milk that for months nourished me.
(Now think about We've been wasting $20 a week on formula milk since Jan!!!!!)

Ay Nanay, ay Tatay, kun ako maghale,
Hihidawon nindo sa gabos na aki;
Maski makakua nin makakasangle,
Dai makaarog kan sakong ugale.

Mother dear, Father dear, if I should go away,
I'm afraid that you might miss me some fateful day
For even if you find someone to take my place,
He will not care for you as I have all these days.

Ay Nanay, ay Tatay, kun ako maraot,
Pugotan nin payo, ibontog sa lawod,
Kun mahiling nindo na nag-anodanod
Ay Nanay, ay Tatay, sapoda man tolos.

Mother dear, Father dear, if you think ill of me,
Cut off my head and on the lake cast it away;
But if you should see it as it floats sadly by,
Retrieve it please at once with a forgiving sigh.
(Now think about My son is like a monster from hell, what to do?)

[Winston]

Phoenix, who the hell do you think you are? What do you mean I can't be a playboy forever? I can be if I want to be. Who are you to tell me what I can and can't do? Some fathers disappear and never see their kids again. Anyone can do that. So it is illogical for you to say that "fathers can't disappear forever". They can and they have. Not saying that I plan to disappear forever, just that your statement is illogical and nonsensical and not even true.

Are you so miserable that you have to try to bring me down to relieve your misery temporarily? If so, it won't work.

You ought to learn from my other black friend here. Unlike you, he is happy, successful, positive, spiritual, helps empower people, and does not pick on me or try to take advantage of my victim vibe. He does not have insecurity issues like you do, and does not try to take them out on me by telling me what I can or can't do. He is a good role model for you too. You should aspire to be what he's become.

http://www.waltgoodridge.com

He is also very smart. He helps me figure our problems with my HTML codes, and other computer problems. And he is smart enough not to get into any flame wars with people online, unlike you. Compared to you, he is a refreshing example of a person far closer to self-actualization. He is free and successful. He runs 6 websites and earns residual income from them, and has written 20 books that he earns residual income from too. And he travels the world freely. Last year he went to China for 6 months. Unlike you, he does it without making excuses and getting into petty online flame wars. He is far wiser, more evolved and more spiritual than you. You ought to learn from him.

Listen to his free audio CD at the link above, and download his free ebook, and you will see how empowering and inspiring he is (unlike you). You see, people like him ADD ENERGY to those around him. After you are around him, you feel GOOD about yourself. But others, such as you, DRAIN energy from others. After being around you for a while, I feel tired and depleted of energy. The trick in personal relationships is to hang around those who add energy to your aura, and avoid those who take away from it.

Sorry that you have to serve as a bad example Phoenix. But hey, at least you're good for something. lol

[Winston]

For those who think having a child is a blessing, let me give you a dose of reality. I'm sorry but it IS IMPRISONMENT! LITERALLY! When you have a toddler, he COMPLETELY DOMINATES every moment. You have NO privacy at all, no free time, you can't even make love to your partner, because he DOMINATES every minute of your life like a total TYRANT! My son does not even leave his mother alone for even 10 seconds! Even when she goes to the toilet or tries to take a shower, he has to follow her there! He does not even give her even 10 seconds of freedom! How are we supposed to make love? With him watching?!

What do you call that?!

What do you call a total tyrant and narcissist who pulls your attention to him 24/7?!

What else could it be but enslavement and imprisonment?!