Winston, How is your son?

[Winston]

I don't know why we are rehashing this topic again. It's been beaten to death.
Winston doesn't deny his stance and has stated why he's made the choices he did.
I don't agree that what he's done is the right thing to do but at least he's being honest (mostly) with himself.

He's made his choices and he (and Angelo unfortunately) will have to live with them. 'nuf said.

You are right. Dragging this topic out again will do nothing but provoke an unnecessary fight again. Even Phoenix knows that, but I suspect that he is miserable and looking for a way to bait me into a flame war and try to shame me again, so he can temporarily relieve his misery. I can't believe the rest of you don't see that. It's so obvious. He is nitpicking things other people don't care about.

So what if it's my son's birthday. Everyone here has a birthday too, but they don't announce it to others here. There is no need for me to announce it. What for? It's not like anyone is going to send gifts or anything. Especially not Phoenix. He's just looking for a way to try to shame me so he can try to bring me down. It's the same thing that motivates a bully.

[Falcon]

Let me take a different perspective.

Winston displays the all-too-familiar symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I know because I have a family member who has BPD, and it is something that can really traumatize family and friends. (Now, I am not a licensed psychiatrist, so don't take this as professional advice. Just a disclaimer.) Many sufferers of BPD have been highly successful people and highly functional in public. Oftentimes, the BPD symptoms will manifest themselves only among family members and close friends (and in this case, the forum).

BPD usually also comes along with other personality disorders and destructive behaviors, so many people only focus on those and don't see the BPD underneath it. Additionally, BPD is not very well-known among the general public.

I'll list some symptoms from http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/b ... r-symptoms , http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/sympto ... -disorder/ . Note that everyone has some of these traits to some extent or another, just that they are far more severe in people with BPD.

Have a pattern of difficult relationships caused by alternating between extremes of intense admiration and hatred of others.

(A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.)

This is also known as "splitting." BPD people see the world only in extremes of black and white, good and evil. At first, they might think of someone as a complete angel with absolutely no flaws, and then suddenly "split" and see the person as completely flawed. This is simply how they perceive the world. We see that in threads like Why I'm tired of living in Angeles City, where to move to?.

Have temporary episodes of feeling suspicious of others without reason (paranoia) or losing a sense of reality.

For instant, we see that in the thread Outwest's death threats on Winston - What to do?.

Have inappropriate, fierce anger or problems controlling anger. The person may often display temper tantrums or get into physical fights.

See above. Rational argument is practically impossible in people with BPD, since they will get extremely defensive. Arguing with them feels like walking on eggshells.
No matter what others say or do, the person with BPD will twist it and use it against them. However, the person with BPD will feel like that is what the other person is doing to him/her (i.e., projection).

Act impulsively in ways that are self-damaging, such as extravagant spending, frequent and unprotected sex with many partners, substance abuse, binge eating, or reckless driving.

A key characteristic of BPD is the severe lack of impulse control.

Underneath all these symptoms, are a poorly formed self-identity, skewed perception of reality, and intense fear of abandonment. BPD is not something to make fun of. Keep in mind that it causes great misery for the sufferers as well, not only for those around them.

Many more women than men are diagnosed with BPD. One theory for this is that men with BPD end up in jail, while women with BPD end up at the clinic.

This is nothing to be ashamed of. This is something to be confronted with and dealt with in a serious manner. What you see as personal attacks are in fact others' concerns for you, even though their criticisms may sound brutally harsh. Winston, we all love you and care about you, and your family. We all sincerely appreciate the wonderful work you do here on HappierAbroad.

[Dogboy86]

I don't know why we are rehashing this topic again. It's been beaten to death.
Winston doesn't deny his stance and has stated why he's made the choices he did.
I don't agree that what he's done is the right thing to do but at least he's being honest (mostly) with himself.

He's made his choices and he (and Angelo unfortunately) will have to live with them. 'nuf said.

You are right. Dragging this topic out again will do nothing but provoke an unnecessary fight again. Even Phoenix knows that, but I suspect that he is miserable and looking for a way to bait me into a flame war and try to shame me again, so he can temporarily relieve his misery. I can't believe the rest of you don't see that. It's so obvious. He is nitpicking things other people don't care about.

So what if it's my son's birthday. Everyone here has a birthday too, but they don't announce it to others here. There is no need for me to announce it. What for? It's not like anyone is going to send gifts or anything. Especially not Phoenix. He's just looking for a way to try to shame me so he can try to bring me down. It's the same thing that motivates a bully.

You shame yourself Winston, through your own actions and no one needs do this for you. Running from your responsibilities is reprehensible. When you chose to create a life you gave up a your right to be selfish and irresponsible. You took on the responsibility of helping raise your son by choosing to procreate. You can rationalize, debunk and do your best to explain this truth away in your mind but it dose not change it from being true...

[Repatriate]

Let me take a different perspective.

Winston displays the all-too-familiar symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I know because I have a family member who has BPD, and it is something that can really traumatize family and friends. (Now, I am not a licensed psychiatrist, so don't take this as professional advice. Just a disclaimer.) Many sufferers of BPD have been highly successful people and highly functional in public. Oftentimes, the BPD symptoms will manifest themselves only among family members and close friends (and in this case, the forum).

BPD usually also comes along with other personality disorders and destructive behaviors, so many people only focus on those and don't see the BPD underneath it. Additionally, BPD is not very well-known among the general public.

I'll list some symptoms from http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/b ... r-symptoms , http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/sympto ... -disorder/ . Note that everyone has some of these traits to some extent or another, just that they are far more severe in people with BPD.

Have a pattern of difficult relationships caused by alternating between extremes of intense admiration and hatred of others.

(A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.)

This is also known as "splitting." BPD people see the world only in extremes of black and white, good and evil. At first, they might think of someone as a complete angel with absolutely no flaws, and then suddenly "split" and see the person as completely flawed. This is simply how they perceive the world. We see that in threads like Why I'm tired of living in Angeles City, where to move to?.

Have temporary episodes of feeling suspicious of others without reason (paranoia) or losing a sense of reality.

For instant, we see that in the thread Outwest's death threats on Winston - What to do?.

Have inappropriate, fierce anger or problems controlling anger. The person may often display temper tantrums or get into physical fights.

See above. Rational argument is practically impossible in people with BPD, since they will get extremely defensive. Arguing with them feels like walking on eggshells.
No matter what others say or do, the person with BPD will twist it and use it against them. However, the person with BPD will feel like that is what the other person is doing to him/her (i.e., projection).

Act impulsively in ways that are self-damaging, such as extravagant spending, frequent and unprotected sex with many partners, substance abuse, binge eating, or reckless driving.

A key characteristic of BPD is the severe lack of impulse control.

Underneath all these symptoms, are a poorly formed self-identity, skewed perception of reality, and intense fear of abandonment. BPD is not something to make fun of. Keep in mind that it causes great misery for the sufferers as well, not only for those around them.

Many more women than men are diagnosed with BPD. One theory for this is that men with BPD end up in jail, while women with BPD end up at the clinic.

This is nothing to be ashamed of. This is something to be confronted with and dealt with in a serious manner. What you see as personal attacks are in fact others' concerns for you, even though their criticisms may sound brutally harsh. Winston, we all love you and care about you, and your family. We all sincerely appreciate the wonderful work you do here on HappierAbroad.

It's interesting that you mention this Falcon because quite awhile back I mentioned that Winston probably has Narcissistic personality disorder. I really do think Winston has some real mental issues. I can understand some people don't want to be open with their medical history and that's fine. I'm not bashing him because of it. Which personality disorder he actually possesses is up for debate. They are probably mild in comparison to the more extreme BPD behavior you mentioned though. It seems he can manage it but it's obvious from his behavior and pattern posting that he has some deeper issues. He does seem to have deep antipathy for others at times and becomes really suspicious/antagonistic even if you agree with most of what he says or insist on not arguing about anything then he'll act humble for awhile but lash out if you say anything that criticizes this exalted mental image he has of himself.

That's a picture perfect profile of what people with NPD do.

[mercurymarch]

Let me take a different perspective.

Winston displays the all-too-familiar symptoms of Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD). I know because I have a family member who has BPD, and it is something that can really traumatize family and friends. (Now, I am not a licensed psychiatrist, so don't take this as professional advice. Just a disclaimer.) Many sufferers of BPD have been highly successful people and highly functional in public. Oftentimes, the BPD symptoms will manifest themselves only among family members and close friends (and in this case, the forum).

BPD usually also comes along with other personality disorders and destructive behaviors, so many people only focus on those and don't see the BPD underneath it. Additionally, BPD is not very well-known among the general public.

I'll list some symptoms from http://www.webmd.com/mental-health/tc/b ... r-symptoms , http://psychcentral.com/lib/2007/sympto ... -disorder/ . Note that everyone has some of these traits to some extent or another, just that they are far more severe in people with BPD.

Have a pattern of difficult relationships caused by alternating between extremes of intense admiration and hatred of others.

(A pattern of unstable and intense interpersonal relationships characterized by alternating between extremes of idealization and devaluation.)

This is also known as "splitting." BPD people see the world only in extremes of black and white, good and evil. At first, they might think of someone as a complete angel with absolutely no flaws, and then suddenly "split" and see the person as completely flawed. This is simply how they perceive the world. We see that in threads like Why I'm tired of living in Angeles City, where to move to?.

Have temporary episodes of feeling suspicious of others without reason (paranoia) or losing a sense of reality.

For instant, we see that in the thread Outwest's death threats on Winston - What to do?.

Have inappropriate, fierce anger or problems controlling anger. The person may often display temper tantrums or get into physical fights.

See above. Rational argument is practically impossible in people with BPD, since they will get extremely defensive. Arguing with them feels like walking on eggshells.
No matter what others say or do, the person with BPD will twist it and use it against them. However, the person with BPD will feel like that is what the other person is doing to him/her (i.e., projection).

Act impulsively in ways that are self-damaging, such as extravagant spending, frequent and unprotected sex with many partners, substance abuse, binge eating, or reckless driving.

A key characteristic of BPD is the severe lack of impulse control.

Underneath all these symptoms, are a poorly formed self-identity, skewed perception of reality, and intense fear of abandonment. BPD is not something to make fun of. Keep in mind that it causes great misery for the sufferers as well, not only for those around them.

Many more women than men are diagnosed with BPD. One theory for this is that men with BPD end up in jail, while women with BPD end up at the clinic.

This is nothing to be ashamed of. This is something to be confronted with and dealt with in a serious manner. What you see as personal attacks are in fact others' concerns for you, even though their criticisms may sound brutally harsh. Winston, we all love you and care about you, and your family. We all sincerely appreciate the wonderful work you do here on HappierAbroad.

It's interesting that you mention this Falcon because quite awhile back I mentioned that Winston probably has Narcissistic personality disorder. I really do think Winston has some real mental issues. I can understand some people don't want to be open with their medical history and that's fine. I'm not bashing him because of it. Which personality disorder he actually possesses is up for debate. They are probably mild in comparison to the more extreme BPD behavior you mentioned though. It seems he can manage it but it's obvious from his behavior and pattern posting that he has some deeper issues. He does seem to have deep antipathy for others at times and becomes really suspicious/antagonistic even if you agree with most of what he says or insist on not arguing about anything then he'll act humble for awhile but lash out if you say anything that criticizes this exalted mental image he has of himself.

That's a picture perfect profile of what people with NPD do.

I disagree with Falcon and Repatriate.

All the so called "mental disorders" in the DSM-IV are political creations; they are not real diseases.

They are not discovered by pathologists during autopsies; they are created out of nothing when a group of officially sanctioned psychologists gets together.

BPD and NPD are as medically valid as Drapetomania: A "mental illness" that was thought to afflict runaway slaves in the old South.

Asserting that someone has a mental disorder is usually an underhanded way of stigmatizing or discrediting them.

After all, how can a "mentally ill" person be taken seriously? If we claim that someone is "mentally ill," we can discard their opinions and excuse their behavior without bothering to listen to them or attempt to infer the reasons why they do things from their actions.

And since "mental illness" is never diagnosed based on medical signs (because it doesn't exist), the "mentally ill" person can never prove they aren't mentally ill. They are caught up in a linguistic trap, and must remain there until some authority figure declares (if they bother) them "mentally healthy" again.

[Falcon]

Yes, a lot of mental illnesses are indeed misused by societies to stigmatize people, resulting in reckless diagnoses and various non-scientific designations. For instance, see "Imperial Bedlam: Institutions of Madness in Colonial Southwest Nigeria."

However, oftentimes mental illness diagnoses are real ones. For instance, just because schizophrenia diagnoses have been chronically abused doesn't mean that schizophrenia doesn't exist.

What society should stop doing is stigmatizing those who are labeled with having one. The point should be to improve the patient's personal well-being, and in many cases, of those around him. It's not something to be completely cured of as though it's an evil, abnormal curse. Instead, we should deal with mental illnesses in ways that impact lives positively.

Another thing is that BPD often occurs simultaneously with other personality disorders, since as Histronic or Narcissitic Personality Disorders. Winston could have both. Anyways, labels can often be misleading. The diagnoses should be used as tools to know what steps to take next, not as irremovable labels.

Be sure to read Carl Jung if you'd like to learn more about psychiatry. I've always admired Jung for truly understanding why mental problems happen to people. (Many have called him a "mystic," though he doesn't like to be called that.)

[chileanueva]

Hey guys, leave Winston alone. I am neutral in all this bashing Winston's parenting style. It's his child, leave him be.

1.) His son Angelo is his business, not yours.

2.) Winston is the one supporting his child, NOT YOU SOME RANDOM FORUM PERSON WITH OPINION.

3.) Winston is entitled to raise his flesh and blood as he sees fit.

4.) At least he cares about kid, you can't say that about a lot of deadbeat fathers out there who are absent completely.

5.) Mind your own business and don't let your emotions cloud your reasonable judgment.


Children are a huge responsibility and burden that I don't want. So that is why I won't have kids any time soon.

[Fenix]

My last reply to you, Winston. You are stuck in your ways. Strawmen and ad-hominems, pass it on...

Dude, I am not miserable. You always try to bait people with ad-hominems like you are so perfect and you know everything. You will never learn. I don't give two shits about Walt Woodridge. I am making excuses? Don't even go there, dude. Someone invited you to Thailand and you had 101 excuses not to go like you are so busy and you don't do shit. I would have gone to Thailand and had a good time. Amnesia much? Haven't I told you I lost my job and I have to start from scratch or is that too hard of a concept for you to understand? I don't make 1,000 dollars a month doing nothing like you do.

I don't give a f**k what you do in your life. This is a forum, the last time I checked. You are doing more damage than you really think to your son. Your son is going to be misguided and he is going to have a terrible life. You had a good life in America. Two parents. Lived in a nice neighborhood and traveled the world. You have no reason to give your son a bad life. You can't just take your son back to the store for a receipt like he is some type of item. You don't want to be a father and that's your poor decision.

You are the last person on Earth to tell someone to become spiritual and enlightened, like you are some type of guru or some shit. You are pathetic. At least Walt Goodridge is successful in life and you are nowhere close. I am happy, positive, don't care about spirituality, and my job on Earth is not to empower people. Take advantage of your victim vibe? Everyone gets picked on. You are not a victim. You want to be a victim. You want everyone to feel sorry for you and give you a hug and a kiss and tell you everything will be okay. Sorry, that's not how things work and you are too damn old to be playing victim. How about you act your age once in your life.

Don't sit here and act like you are some type of father. You won't be winning "father of the year" any time soon. You should take your own God damn advice and try to be like Walt. You will never achieve any of that. Online flame wars...Yeah, you have been in many flame wars on this forum. Don't sit here and act like you are innocent or not flaming people. You attack members like Billy and dogboy86 by calling them stupid and bullies and they were polite when they responded to your posts.

Don't compare me to Walt Goodridge. You always like to make comparisons with people in your arguments. I don't want to be like Walt Goodridge. I want to be like myself. I want to be a writer and own my own business. I don't want to do what Walt does. I have my own path. It takes time, money and other things to go to another country and live there. Unlike you, I am learning another language. I actually want to plan things out and save up.

I just wanted to know how your son was and you got all p***y hurt when I asked. All you had to do was answer my questions with some common sense and move on. Since I like to play flame wars, you sure as hell like to participate in them.

You have never been around me and I don't drain people's energy. You should always feel good about yourself regardless. You make me sick with your little snide attacks like you are so holier than thou. I am done with you, Winston. Trust me, you should be way ahead of a lot of people online as far as success. Your site only makes less than 1,000 dollars and it has been almost 6 years. You have ebooks and they don't make you much money and you know why? There are 2345432 books about the same subject and your ebooks are overpriced. No one is going to pay $14 for your ebooks.

God, I wish you knew me in real life. Everything you ever said about me negatively has been 100 percent wrong. You will never learn. Never going to take criticism or anyone's advice. "Here's how you make your site better. Add this." You say, "No. It's fine!" Anyway, you are a fool and I will let you continue your idiocy. Thinking what you are doing with your son is okay...



Winston this is your wisdom:

For those who think having a child is a blessing, let me give you a dose of reality. I'm sorry but it IS IMPRISONMENT! LITERALLY! When you have a toddler, he COMPLETELY DOMINATES every moment. You have NO privacy at all, no free time, you can't even make love to your partner, because he DOMINATES every minute of your life like a total TYRANT! My son does not even leave his mother alone for even 10 seconds! Even when she goes to the toilet or tries to take a shower, he has to follow her there! He does not even give her even 10 seconds of freedom! How are we supposed to make love? With him watching?!

What do you call that?!

What do you call a total tyrant and narcissist who pulls your attention to him 24/7?!

What else could it be but enslavement and imprisonment?!

You had a child and no one forced you to have a child. You chose not to wear a condom or to pull out. You are the dumb ass and now you see the consequences. You don't see the consequences now, but you will in time. You wet the bed, so you need to clean it up. Your kid is almost 5 years old. Duh! Of course he needs his parents attention. He is not an adult. How are you supposed to make love? When he is f***ing asleep. You have no clue on how to be a father. You thought it would change your life to have a son, but you thought about all of the responsibility that comes with it and you wanted to be a manwhore more than being a father. All the people defending you have no sense.

About this playboy until you die nonsense: You are not attractive. You are fat, out of shape, have the qualities of a female aka no real woman would want to deal with because a woman wants a man and not another woman. I find it funny how having a child is enslavement and imprisonment, but you wouldn't be on Earth if your parents didn' t f**k. I am sure your parents had so much fun raising you. Never mind, they are still raising you now. If your son becomes a better man than you, then I would be very surprised. I highly doubt that because I am sure he is being raised by females.

Winston, I am done. Don't even reply back to me and I won't reply back to you. I am done with this bullshit. Continue your fantasy of being a playboy. I hope China treats you well. It's funny how you don't have time for "flame wars" like you are so busy. You don't do shit and you know it. What if your forum starts to lose money or something bad happens? What are you going to do? Do you have something to fall back on? You need to stop taking the people that built your site for granted. You wouldn't have a forum if it wasn't for the active members posting.

[Falcon]

A blind guitarist from Legazpi City, Luzon, Philippines.

His name is Angelo.

[kingjoe60]

winston lets see some pictures of this child and philippine mother . i think everyone would like to see some evidence for the story. I dont believe this story you have a child. In my view i dont think its your child.my evidence have you had dna test, all women will sleep around she just wants your money to support the child and the facts show that 1 in 10 off spring are brought up by there not biological father I think maybe this your case winston

[Winston]

Wanna hear something freaky that seems like an incredible coincidence? The other day, my son Angelo told me that he wants to change his name. When i asked what name he wanted, a chill ran up my spine when he told me "Terrence", which he told Dianne before as well. You see, when i was in my 20s, i wanted to change my name as well. And the name that came to my mind for some reason was "Terrence". I dont know why. It felt right. I swear i NEVER told this to dianne or angelo. So its an incredible coincidence. Very inexplicable. What do you make of it? Could something in my genes have passed on to my son that made him want the same name? Weird. Very odd yet fascinating.

My son also has some strange habits similar to me. For example he likes to chew ice cubes like i do. I dont know anyone else who likes to do that except myself.

[Winston]

winston lets see some pictures of this child and philippine mother . i think everyone would like to see some evidence for the story. I dont believe this story you have a child. In my view i dont think its your child.my evidence have you had dna test, all women will sleep around she just wants your money to support the child and the facts show that 1 in 10 off spring are brought up by there not biological father I think maybe this your case winston

You should not say such things without valid evidence or cause. Everyone here who has met them are not suspicious. Here are links to photos of my son and his mother.

http://www.happierabroad.com/Angelo_Winston.htm
viewtopic.php?t=3342
viewtopic.php?t=20051

[Winston]

Uhhh falcon, geez. You should not claim that i have a mental disorder like BPD without valid evidence. Just because i get fed up and have a breaking point, like everyone else, or get mad when people lie about me, and am a perfectionist when it comes to accuracy, does not mean i have borderline personality disorder. Come on falcon. Youre smarter than that. What you thinking? I dont even fit the characteristics of BPD.

Sure i may have mental issues. Who doesnt? Maybe mental disorders too. But i dont think BPD matches me. My ex girlfriend Lisa is a far better match for that, as someone mentioned in another thread.

You should not make random online diagnoses like that falcon. Its unwise. Especially without proper evidence.

[Winston]

Btw you guys are too stupid to see that this was a bait thread by phoenix sosa aka fenix. He doesnt care about my son. Duh. Why would he? He was just trying to start a flame war and make me look bad by trying to get me to say something selfish. Also so he himself could flame me. Didnt you guys see the obvious?

Anyway, hes an asshole. Im gonna remove the censor on his name here so that his original name will return here to be indexed in search engines.

Did you guys know that fenix is probably a liar too? He claimed to have gone to europe several years ago. Yet he has zero photos to show for it. He wont even show any to his forum friends here by private email. When asked he claims he never took any photos during his trip. Yeah right. Always excuses. So this guy probably isnt even honest. You guys should not have even dignified this bait thread with a response.

[MarcosZeitola]

Wanna hear something freaky that seems like an incredible coincidence? The other day, my son Angelo told me that he wants to change his name. When i asked what name he wanted, a chill ran up my spine when he told me "Terrence", which he told Dianne before as well. You see, when i was in my 20s, i wanted to change my name as well. And the name that came to my mind for some reason was "Terrence". I dont know why. It felt right. I swear i NEVER told this to dianne or angelo. So its an incredible coincidence. Very inexplicable. What do you make of it? Could something in my genes have passed on to my son that made him want the same name? Weird. Very odd yet fascinating.

Since the Wu genes are so strong in him, you should try to raise your boy to be a critical freethinker such as yourself. The world needs more Winston Wu's, especially in generations to come. Perhaps in the future, Angelo "Terrence" Wu will run your forum and head the HA movement. He is, after all, the direct product of your Happier Abroad exploits. The physical manifestation of your happiness abroad.