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What Would Jesus Do?

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What Would Jesus Do?

Postby Professor Jesus » February 24th, 2012, 2:35 am

Boys,

I had a student ask me if Jesus had ever existed in the first place, don't my teachings contradict his? Would he tell men to keep it zipped up before marriage? Given the majority of women give it up before marriage, and there are so many silly sluts and stupid bitches out there, would he tell men to look to marry a virgin? Would he even advise getting married at all?

I say if Jesus ever did exist (which is highly debatable), he would have been a man of the times. Perhaps not banging out every sleazy slut he could, but definitely being a man, standing up for himself, and helping p***y men to get a pair of big brass balls.
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Re: What Would Jesus Do?

Postby odbo » February 24th, 2012, 8:07 am

Image

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Professor Jesus wrote:I say if Jesus ever did exist (which is highly debatable), he would have been a man of the times.

That is almost certainly the most paradoxical, ignominious, unintelligent thing I have ever read in my whole life.
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Postby Professor Jesus » February 24th, 2012, 3:36 pm

If he wasn't a man of the times, then why did people follow him obdo? I'm listening.
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Re: What Would Jesus Do?

Postby zboy1 » February 24th, 2012, 8:46 pm

Professor Jesus wrote:Boys,

I had a student ask me if Jesus had ever existed in the first place, don't my teachings contradict his? Would he tell men to keep it zipped up before marriage? Given the majority of women give it up before marriage, and there are so many silly sluts and stupid bitches out there, would he tell men to look to marry a virgin? Would he even advise getting married at all?

I say if Jesus ever did exist (which is highly debatable), he would have been a man of the times. Perhaps not banging out every sleazy slut he could, but definitely being a man, standing up for himself, and helping p***y men to get a pair of big brass balls.


Jesus was a celibate man who did not have sexual relations with females. Christianity teaches that men should only get married with females and vice versa, forbids gay marriage, and considers sex before marriage a sin. Of course, nowadays, only the most devout Christians still follow these rules.

If Jesus were alive today, he would find most females to be absolutely abhorrent today because he believed females were subservient to men and would be horrified at the thought of feminism and women's rights that places men below women. Feminism is contrary to many religions btw, that's why so many feminists are avowed atheists and godless commies.
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Postby AA » February 26th, 2012, 10:07 am

Jesus was a closet homosexual, who else hangs out with 12 dudes?
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Postby S_Parc » February 26th, 2012, 10:12 am

One question for the Professor ... are you the infamous Oil Trading Academy (OTA), now re-constituted as a more academic version of his prior self?

The reason why I ask is that you're starting with a soft shoe approach and that's usually a primer to some fireworks down the road.

FYI, James Caan, the actor, used that in most of his movies.
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Postby Billy » February 26th, 2012, 2:42 pm

S_Parc, I bet on Konrad ;-). I thought Jesus loved sluts. He would feel comfortable in the USA ;-)
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Postby zboy1 » February 26th, 2012, 7:56 pm

S_Parc wrote:One question for the Professor ... are you the infamous Oil Trading Academy (OTA), now re-constituted as a more academic version of his prior self?

The reason why I ask is that you're starting with a soft shoe approach and that's usually a primer to some fireworks down the road.

FYI, James Caan, the actor, used that in most of his movies.


I don't think he is. For one thing, OTA was a religious zealot and he would never blaspheme Jesus and use his image the way Professor Jesus does. And another, OTA would go psycho on anyone that questioned God or religion. I don't think this guy is Konrad either, thankfully.
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Postby Professor Jesus » February 27th, 2012, 1:16 am

Billy wrote:S_Parc, I bet on Konrad ;-). I thought Jesus loved sluts. He would feel comfortable in the USA ;-)


I completely agree!
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Postby Professor Jesus » February 27th, 2012, 1:29 am

S_Parc wrote:One question for the Professor ... are you the infamous Oil Trading Academy (OTA), now re-constituted as a more academic version of his prior self?

The reason why I ask is that you're starting with a soft shoe approach and that's usually a primer to some fireworks down the road.

FYI, James Caan, the actor, used that in most of his movies.


I could come in here and kick the crap out of the religious, but atheists are already doing that for everyone all over the place. And might I add, they do quite a fine job! What I am particularly interested in is the question, "What Would Jesus Do?" Pertaining to gold diggers, stupid bitches, party sluts, dirty whores, and women that are just generally trying to use a man as a sperm donor and a human wallet in the name of the hilarious institution of marriage.
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Re: What Would Jesus Do?

Postby fschmidt » February 27th, 2012, 1:54 am

odbo wrote:
Professor Jesus wrote:I say if Jesus ever did exist (which is highly debatable), he would have been a man of the times.

That is almost certainly the most paradoxical, ignominious, unintelligent thing I have ever read in my whole life.

I agree. It's a waste of time to even converse with someone who would make such a statement. (And I'm not Christian.)
Following the Old Testament, not evil modern culture
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Re: What Would Jesus Do?

Postby Professor Jesus » February 27th, 2012, 2:47 am

fschmidt wrote:
odbo wrote:
Professor Jesus wrote:I say if Jesus ever did exist (which is highly debatable), he would have been a man of the times.

That is almost certainly the most paradoxical, ignominious, unintelligent thing I have ever read in my whole life.

I agree. It's a waste of time to even converse with someone who would make such a statement. (And I'm not Christian.)


Oooooo. Oh those words! Jesus! -There is nothing ignominious about debating the existence of Jesus. There are so many books written about Santa Clause, does that mean there is proof he existed? I read a book about Alien Abductions. Does that mean I can prove there are aliens because it said so in a book? They even found video footage, more proof! We should accept Scientology as a factual account right?

Were Jesus' teachings relevant to the times in which he lived? I'm still waiting obdo, you Rembrandt you.
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