The pressure to perform: American women vs Foreign women

[Bijou]

This is what makes dating and meeting women in this country so difficult. The feeling that you have to perform, make them laugh incessantly, or SHOW how confident you are just creates unnecessary pressure on us men.

FYI. Guys here expect women to laugh at their jokes all the time. Like if I don't laugh I will be considered boring or without sense of humor or that I don't love/enjoy them any more.... Which is not true. Nobody needs to behave like a clawon to be adored, nobody needs to laugh if it is not funny or if they don't get the joke.

Here are some tips how to look confident (not cold and indifferent), just sexy confident.

You have to me calm and warm with a little boish smile on your face. Just be you.

Never say:
1. "You maybe have a ton of men around you". She'll boost her self esteemand you are done with your flirting because you elevated her too early...
2. Don't give compliments, but don't be critical too. Just give one good compliment in the middle of the evening. she is sucking for that compliment and the more she is not hearing it the more she doesn't know what's going on.

Giving to much adoration from a guy in the begining is like giving sex on first date from a women.

3. "What men do you like" - you shouldn't care, you know she needs you so no need of asking. You don't care about other men, they don't exist and even she is trying to talk about her men just ignore. Don't talk about your exes,girls, keep it more misterious.

4. If she turns you down immediately say calmly and manly. "Ok, I respect that, have a good day." then find a woman at the bar that will talk to you and make the first one regret for turning you down. It doesn't matter if the second woman is more beautiful or uglier, the first one will ask herself - Do I look like her or am I better/worse. lol She is replaced - done.

When dating never ask "Are you going to leave me for younger man?", it sounds very cute but it makes the woman feel stronger, replace that with: "Honey, I have a line of girls knocking on my door, but I chose to be with you."

If she trys to make you jelous, just say that you'll knock out this clown on the minute.
She will fall in love with you.

[FREEDOM1]

hey Bijou

no one wants to pick up american /western women here
dont you get it, all your points are bullshit that you read
in pua articles and womens magazines
the advice you give is the exact reason why we
dont want anything to do with them anymore
just a bunch of stupid games and crap that men have to do
to get dates/ interest from women
the point is , its all garbage and pandering to western female entitlemnt
obviously you are new to this forum
i dont want to be rude - but you can take your advice
and shove it up your ass

[OutWest]

hi fellas

it is all about power and control POWER AND CONTROL
they think if u approach that they have the upper hand and that u have to
prove yourself to them

EXACTLY! And I must say that a woman has the upper hand if she is approached because she has the power to "hold out" and not give into the desires of whatever man is trying to court her.

The problem is that Western women have lost all sense of civility, and common courtesy, when they chose to decline the offers of a man who would like to get to know her. I mean really, I'm NOT going to get hurt if a woman does not want to go out with me, but I WILL take offense by the way a woman declines my offer so as long as I was being a gentleman.

It depends on social class, but in general, I find that most American girls either ignore you completely and start walking away as soon as you start taking to them, while other more aggressive girls will verbally attack you by making fun of your car, clothes, job, where you live, or whatever it is that they feel about you is not up to par.

This is what gave birth to PUA. You have to be witty, cocky or funny to be able to capture a girls attention in a way that makes it hard for her to walk away or verbally attack her first which lowers her defense and prevents her from attacking you. (i.e., Is that hair real?) It's nothing more then close combat gender warfare.

im done with these bitches - give them the husband they deserve - none
i

I owe you a drink!! That was so funny to read.^^

One of my clients would socialize with his friends- sometimes in a public venue in Scottsdale AZ. He is a humble man, without flash and pretense.
Like any man with purpose and destiny in life, very few women can even comprehend him.
I remember him telling two rather pretty girls that he did not have a car- he had to rent one. The look on their faces was like he told them he had the clap.
I recall having the pleasure of telling these girls that we had to go- that he had a plane to catch. They asked me what time the flight was- it's anytime he wants ladies...its a G-5 waiting for him...Google it...LOL.

I don't know if they ever looked up what a G5 is- a Gulfstream 5, one of the most deluxe and expensive private jets in the skies...I hope they did, just for the good bitch-slapping it would have given them, but at any rate, he is now married to a really great girl from Romania.

Outwest

[Winston]

OTB, yeah you see islam was your cockblock. But when you would have taken the hurdle things would still be not easy. Turkish girls know how to grab your money

Yeah ok I exaggerat it, but truth is that things were never really easy. "Normal" is a matter of definition. I don´t think that in the past things were really easier. Maybe different.

Maybe I don´t know anything about AW but I don´t think foreign women are so easy. Sometimes one only wants to see the positives.

Though you can make a good deal for real

Dude, come to America and see how UNNATURAL it is to talk to girls, and you'll see what everyone is complaining about. Ask Lavezzi. He didn't believe what we were talking about until he came to the states. Until you do, you have no frame of reference to compare it to. Sure all women have pros and cons about them, but they are natural pros and cons, not unnatural ones.

In general, yes, foreign women are a lot EASIER to interact with. It's a lot more smooth and natural. Me and Steve Neese noticed this too when we were in the Philippines and sitting with two girls. We have a frame of reference to compare it to. You don't.

One can say that LA is polluted with smog. But if one lives in New Delhi, India or Manila, Philippines, then one will see the air in LA as clean and crisp. It's all relative to what you're comparing it to.

[aozora13]

Winston, I think that Billy has some truth to his explanation. There are some foreign women (in Europe for example) who are difficult to meet and with language issues it is difficult. Plus you have ethnic/racial issues with meeting some women because they might not like a certain group.

However, there are places for many men in the west to meet foreign women. I think that best option is to avoid American women and date foreign women. You have to search for the best women you like but it is better than getting a huge headache from American women.

[Voice of Reason]

This is what makes dating and meeting women in this country so difficult. The feeling that you have to perform, make them laugh incessantly, or SHOW how confident you are just creates unnecessary pressure on us men.

FYI. Guys here expect women to laugh at their jokes all the time. Like if I don't laugh I will be considered boring or without sense of humor or that I don't love/enjoy them any more.... Which is not true. Nobody needs to behave like a clawon to be adored, nobody needs to laugh if it is not funny or if they don't get the joke.

Here are some tips how to look confident (not cold and indifferent), just sexy confident.

You have to me calm and warm with a little boish smile on your face. Just be you.

Never say:
1. "You maybe have a ton of men around you". She'll boost her self esteemand you are done with your flirting because you elevated her too early...
2. Don't give compliments, but don't be critical too. Just give one good compliment in the middle of the evening. she is sucking for that compliment and the more she is not hearing it the more she doesn't know what's going on.

Giving to much adoration from a guy in the begining is like giving sex on first date from a women.

3. "What men do you like" - you shouldn't care, you know she needs you so no need of asking. You don't care about other men, they don't exist and even she is trying to talk about her men just ignore. Don't talk about your exes,girls, keep it more misterious.

4. If she turns you down immediately say calmly and manly. "Ok, I respect that, have a good day." then find a woman at the bar that will talk to you and make the first one regret for turning you down. It doesn't matter if the second woman is more beautiful or uglier, the first one will ask herself - Do I look like her or am I better/worse. lol She is replaced - done.

When dating never ask "Are you going to leave me for younger man?", it sounds very cute but it makes the woman feel stronger, replace that with: "Honey, I have a line of girls knocking on my door, but I chose to be with you."

If she trys to make you jelous, just say that you'll knock out this clown on the minute.
She will fall in love with you.

I have no interest in playing your games.

[Guyver]

OTB, I'm with you all the way man. AW are impossible to talk to. I'm sick of their immature mind games and power play bullshit they feel that have to do in order to put a man down. I stopped wasting my time with them many years ago. What is the sense in treading through an endless swamp when there is no dry land in sight? That used to be how I felt when I tried talking to American women. f**k that, too much pressure that shouldn't be there to begin with on us men.

[Guyver]

This is what makes dating and meeting women in this country so difficult. The feeling that you have to perform, make them laugh incessantly, or SHOW how confident you are just creates unnecessary pressure on us men.

FYI. Guys here expect women to laugh at their jokes all the time. Like if I don't laugh I will be considered boring or without sense of humor or that I don't love/enjoy them any more.... Which is not true. Nobody needs to behave like a clawon to be adored, nobody needs to laugh if it is not funny or if they don't get the joke.

Here are some tips how to look confident (not cold and indifferent), just sexy confident.

You have to me calm and warm with a little boish smile on your face. Just be you.

Never say:
1. "You maybe have a ton of men around you". She'll boost her self esteemand you are done with your flirting because you elevated her too early...
2. Don't give compliments, but don't be critical too. Just give one good compliment in the middle of the evening. she is sucking for that compliment and the more she is not hearing it the more she doesn't know what's going on.

Giving to much adoration from a guy in the begining is like giving sex on first date from a women.

3. "What men do you like" - you shouldn't care, you know she needs you so no need of asking. You don't care about other men, they don't exist and even she is trying to talk about her men just ignore. Don't talk about your exes,girls, keep it more misterious.

4. If she turns you down immediately say calmly and manly. "Ok, I respect that, have a good day." then find a woman at the bar that will talk to you and make the first one regret for turning you down. It doesn't matter if the second woman is more beautiful or uglier, the first one will ask herself - Do I look like her or am I better/worse. lol She is replaced - done.

When dating never ask "Are you going to leave me for younger man?", it sounds very cute but it makes the woman feel stronger, replace that with: "Honey, I have a line of girls knocking on my door, but I chose to be with you."

If she trys to make you jelous, just say that you'll knock out this clown on the minute.
She will fall in love with you.

Bijou, when are you going to learn that us men here have no desire to even try with American women? Why should we when we could simply approach, meet, and date a foreign woman who will treat us like a human being, and know how to treat a man? That is something that American girls lack. No AW DO NOT want to be approached because I can see it with the permascowls on their faces when I go out to public places such as the grocery store. It doesn't take a genius to figure that out when you feel those negative vibes that basically say to stay away if you are male. I am not interested in your "tips" that you got from your girlfriends/magazines/PUA or society in general. I've got news for you dear, those rules don't work in the real world out there. Simply "being yourself" never worked for any of us men in Western society. We are expected to ramp it up to PUA level attraction with a Western woman (I guess I'll call it that), and what are we getting in return for so much work exactly?

[Falcon]

Bijou, thanks for the well-meaning advice. But this is what will actually happen.

Here are some tips how to look confident (not cold and indifferent), just sexy confident. - Rejected as creep / Friend-zoned as non-creep

You have to me calm and warm with a little boish smile on your face. Just be you. - Rejected as creep / Friend-zoned as non-creep

Never say:
1. "You maybe have a ton of men around you". She'll boost her self esteemand you are done with your flirting because you elevated her too early... - Why should any decent guy even play along with her games.
2. Don't give compliments, but don't be critical too. Just give one good compliment in the middle of the evening. she is sucking for that compliment and the more she is not hearing it the more she doesn't know what's going on. - Why should any decent guy even play along with her games.

Giving to much adoration from a guy in the begining is like giving sex on first date from a women. - Why should any decent guy even play along with her games.

3. "What men do you like" - you shouldn't care, you know she needs you so no need of asking. You don't care about other men, they don't exist and even she is trying to talk about her men just ignore. Don't talk about your exes,girls, keep it more misterious. - Why should any decent guy even play along with her games.

4. If she turns you down immediately say calmly and manly. "Ok, I respect that, have a good day." then find a woman at the bar that will talk to you and make the first one regret for turning you down. It doesn't matter if the second woman is more beautiful or uglier, the first one will ask herself - Do I look like her or am I better/worse. lol She is replaced - done. - Why should any decent guy even play along with her games.

When dating never ask "Are you going to leave me for younger man?", it sounds very cute but it makes the woman feel stronger, replace that with: "Honey, I have a line of girls knocking on my door, but I chose to be with you." - Rejected as creep / Friend-zoned as non-creep

If she trys to make you jelous, just say that you'll knock out this clown on the minute. - Why should any decent guy even play along with her games.
She will fall in love with you. - Rejected as creep / Friend-zoned as non-creep

[Falcon]

Don't talk about your exes,girls, keep it more misterious.

No. Just no.

If you make her jealous, she will want you more.
If you talk about how you are popular with the ladies, she will want you more.
If you show her pictures of your beautiful current/ex girlfriend, she will want you more.

This works well with both American and foreign women.

This applies to people in general. People tend to want what what they can't have. In other words, the allure of the forbidden fruit.

[lavezzi]

That's how it is in the whole of the Anglosphere, where women are valued so much higher than men. It creates severe approach and initiation anxiety in men, which is partly the reason why men in Anglo cultures only initiate proceedings with their opposite sex while under heavy influence of alcohol.

I've never been outside the Western world, but I have a lot to say about Spain where I've been many times. In Spain, although some desirable qualities may be lost in it's females (definitely not physically speaking), from my experience I feel the initiation phase of relationships operates to perfection there. When meeting a female, there's not such an over-consciousness of the scenario you're in, it feels more so like two human beings simply meeting together and seeing what they have in common for friendship, without the possibility of a relationship really being in sight at that stage. It's not like in Anglo cultures where the women are on top, but neither like in certain Asian cultures where the men are. It seems like there's less of a casual sex culture there and more of a real dating culture (exactly the opposite of Ireland). A high level of confidence is still essential, and the women are still quite picky about who they like in the romantic sense, but the anxiety about meeting someone that exists in the Anglosphere is not felt to anywhere near the same extent.

[davewe]

Don't talk about your exes,girls, keep it more misterious.

No. Just no.

If you make her jealous, she will want you more.
If you talk about how you are popular with the ladies, she will want you more.
If you show her pictures of your beautiful current/ex girlfriend, she will want you more.

This works well with both American and foreign women.

This applies to people in general. People tend to want what what they can't have. In other words, the allure of the forbidden fruit.

It isn't only that people want what they can't have. They want what everyone else has. If you're dating 5 girls she thinks, "God he must have something. Why should those other 4 have him; he should be mine!"

Even in the world of foreign online dating it is amazing cause every girl knows that you are chatting with tons of other girls. She wants you cause she knows that 10 other girls want you. She loves the competition and will do anything to win it!

[Winston]

Winston, I think that Billy has some truth to his explanation. There are some foreign women (in Europe for example) who are difficult to meet and with language issues it is difficult. Plus you have ethnic/racial issues with meeting some women because they might not like a certain group.

However, there are places for many men in the west to meet foreign women. I think that best option is to avoid American women and date foreign women. You have to search for the best women you like but it is better than getting a huge headache from American women.

It's only true in the sense that foreign women have challenges and negative qualities too. But we already know that. That's not the point though. The key point is that in COMPARISON with American women, interactions with foreign women is MUCH MORE SMOOTH AND NATURAL. The difference is huge and noticeable and very obvious.

American women have been socially engineered to be beasts with unrealistic narcissistic qualities and expectations. Go to LA or NY and try chatting them up, and you will come back and tell us that we were right. Just like Lavezzi did. Guaranteed.

The bottom line here is that interaction with AW is very UNNATURAL. In fact, there is something UNNATURAL about them that words can't completely describe. It's not about good qualities vs. bad qualities. It's about natural vs. unnatural.

[Winston]

Don't talk about your exes,girls, keep it more misterious.

No. Just no.

If you make her jealous, she will want you more.
If you talk about how you are popular with the ladies, she will want you more.
If you show her pictures of your beautiful current/ex girlfriend, she will want you more.

This works well with both American and foreign women.

This applies to people in general. People tend to want what what they can't have. In other words, the allure of the forbidden fruit.

I've tried that and it only seems to work sometimes, like on the desperate insecure girls. If you try that with Chinese girls for instance, their cold practical mentality will reject you as an unstable untrustworthy playboy whom they can't take seriously. It won't make you more desirable, but will paint you as "uncommitted and untrustworthy". Lots of girls viewed me negatively when I showed them pics of me with attractive girls. It didn't create any desire in them.

[odbo]

Lots of girls viewed me negatively when I showed them pics of me with attractive girls. It didn't create any desire in them.

You idiot! Winston only you could be so clueless. You're not supposed to show women a slideshow or a photo collage of all the girls you've slept with. That makes you look like a complete dirtbag. A photo of a pretty ex (or current girlfriend in some cases) might however get her interested. Although sometimes women get insecure from the beauty of other women and will get mad at you for it, they're stupid like that. But once the jealousy subsides you might be golden. Whereas if you show her your whoring portfolio she'll never get over it because that's a horrible impression to make. Also flirting with other women in the same room might inflate your worth and make the stingy one you're interested in jealous (in a good way this time).