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The pressure to perform: American women vs Foreign women

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby Bijou » Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:26 am

lavezzi wrote:In Spain, although some desirable qualities may be lost in it's females (definitely not physically speaking), from my experience I feel the initiation phase of relationships operates to perfection there. When meeting a female, there's not such an over-consciousness of the scenario you're in, it feels more so like two human beings simply meeting together and seeing what they have in common for friendship, without the possibility of a relationship really being in sight at that stage. It's not like in Anglo cultures where the women are on top, but neither like in certain Asian cultures where the men are. It seems like there's less of a casual sex culture there and more of a real dating culture (exactly the opposite of Ireland). A high level of confidence is still essential, and the women are still quite picky about who they like in the romantic sense, but the anxiety about meeting someone that exists in the Anglosphere is not felt to anywhere near the same extent.


This is exactly what I am talking about. Thank you. Women from Europe have high expectations for their men, but if you don't meet the expectations you will not be rejected. You can't expect to meet someone and with-in 3 minutes of talking to fall inlove or to see all the flows and etc. Actually, the worst way to fall in love is love of first sight or of the first 2 hours.
I think that anybody who feels brave enough to approach you and talk to you has the confidence, and it doesn't matter how nervous he looks like.


Lavezzi, what did you find unnattractive in the Spanish girls, what was the quality they were lacking?
Last edited by Bijou on Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:48 am, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby Bijou » Thu Mar 01, 2012 2:42 am

Winston wrote:
Falcon wrote:
Bijou wrote:Don't talk about your exes,girls, keep it more misterious.


No. Just no.

If you make her jealous, she will want you more.
If you talk about how you are popular with the ladies, she will want you more.
If you show her pictures of your beautiful current/ex girlfriend, she will want you more.


This works well with both American and foreign women.

This applies to people in general. People tend to want what what they can't have. In other words, the allure of the forbidden fruit.

:P


I've tried that and it only seems to work sometimes, like on the desperate insecure girls. If you try that with Chinese girls for instance, their cold practical mentality will reject you as an unstable untrustworthy playboy whom they can't take seriously. It won't make you more desirable, but will paint you as "uncommitted and untrustworthy". Lots of girls viewed me negatively when I showed them pics of me with attractive girls. It didn't create any desire in them.


Yes Winston, agreed. I see that you have actually interacted with foreign women, not only dreamed about them! :lol:
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Postby Falcon » Thu Mar 01, 2012 5:29 am

odbo wrote:
Winston wrote:Lots of girls viewed me negatively when I showed them pics of me with attractive girls. It didn't create any desire in them.

You idiot! :lol: Winston only you could be so clueless. You're not supposed to show women a slideshow or a photo collage of all the girls you've slept with. That makes you look like a complete dirtbag. A photo of a pretty ex (or current girlfriend in some cases) might however get her interested. Although sometimes women get insecure from the beauty of other women and will get mad at you for it, they're stupid like that. But once the jealousy subsides you might be golden. Whereas if you show her your whoring portfolio she'll never get over it because that's a horrible impression to make. Also flirting with other women in the same room might inflate your worth and make the stingy one you're interested in jealous (in a good way this time).


odbo is right. In Mexico, when I showed pictures of me with my girlfriend, many girls would get more flirty and interested. Now, I also showed those pictures to some Chinese girls too, and they said, "Wow! She's so cute!" The Chinese girls would ask me lots of questions about her, and how my relationship with her is going. They'd also want to talk to me more. Unlike the Latinas, they would not get more flirty, but it's easy to sense that inside, they are definitely feeling much more interested. Why? Because they see me as a very dedicated guy who takes good care of that one special girl, and not as a scumbag playboy.

But I'm sure if I showed pictures of girls dressed less modestly, or more than one girl, most women would be repelled. For example, DO NOT use these pictures: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=4703

Use the pictures of you with ONLY one other girl who is dressed modestly, and don't overdo it (as in, keep away from the narcissism). The best ones would be the pictures of you with Dianne (whether you like her or not, haha).

http://www.happierabroad.com/Winston_Dianne_private.htm
http://www.happierabroad.com/Winston_Di ... ivate2.htm
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/viewtopic.php?t=3342

Here's a good one.

Image
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Postby Bijou » Fri Mar 02, 2012 12:49 am

Falcon, what is your goal?
Is your goal to play the "American man" games or your goal is to enjoy the nice company of a foreign woman?
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Postby OTB » Fri Mar 02, 2012 1:40 am

@NorthAmericanguy
Merhaba OTB!


Your post is one of the major reasons why I no longer court American women.

Relationships with American girls feels like a job (or a second one if you're already employed!) because the first 2-3 months is like a trial period where you have to be on your best behavior, impress all her friends, and show her a good time in a environment that is already highly competitive and unfairly rigged against the poor/average man so it's really a loose loose situation from the beginning.


You said it man. It feels like a job. That's one thing that irritates me about the courtship process. As Winston has pointed out, to which I strongly agree, interactions with foreign women are much more natural and void of any social awkwardness. I remember when I was in Spain in November of 2009, I was going from Granada to Madrid and I there was a pretty Spanish girl on my bus sitting across from me. When I got on I said hola. Then during the ride we kept making eye contact and smiled at each other. Then we stopped at a cafe on the way for about a half an hour. Then we got back on and she's cutting her eye at me. Then she finally offered me an orange to break the ice. We talked a little during the ride. But I said all that to say this that she was so friendly and just opened to talking. She wasn't trying to avoid me. AW try to avoid men when they see you're showing signs of interest. Not all but most. It's just completely unnatural.
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Postby eurobrat » Fri Mar 02, 2012 2:57 am

@OTB

What's the underlying reason for it though? Are they already in a committed relationship? I have been trying to figure this out but I can't. If you like someone why hide it?
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Postby OTB » Sat Mar 03, 2012 1:28 pm

@eurobrat

In some cases I think it's the mentality that a man is a potential threat or he may be a slime ball. Sometimes it's because they're shy or they have low self esteem.
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Postby eurobrat » Sat Mar 03, 2012 2:29 pm

...
Last edited by eurobrat on Wed May 29, 2013 11:45 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby Taco » Sat Mar 03, 2012 2:58 pm

OTB wrote:@NorthAmericanguy
Merhaba OTB!


Your post is one of the major reasons why I no longer court American women.

Relationships with American girls feels like a job (or a second one if you're already employed!) because the first 2-3 months is like a trial period where you have to be on your best behavior, impress all her friends, and show her a good time in a environment that is already highly competitive and unfairly rigged against the poor/average man so it's really a loose loose situation from the beginning.


You said it man. It feels like a job.


Yeah, its like a low paying job at a fast food restaurant flipping burgers as fast as you can, at the end of the day you have nothing to show for it. Eventually, you just lose your motivation because you can never get ahead.
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Postby Falcon » Sat Mar 03, 2012 8:11 pm

Bijou wrote:Falcon, what is your goal?
Is your goal to play the "American man" games or your goal is to enjoy the nice company of a foreign woman?


@ Bijou

See http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=12555 for:

MEXICO: Success Story from an Asian-American College Student
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=11808

My Mexican girlfriend vs. American college girls
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=11828

My Mexico Adventure (Dec. 2011) - with photos!
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=12355
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Postby Bijou » Sun Mar 04, 2012 4:58 pm

Falcon wrote:
Bijou wrote:Falcon, what is your goal?
Is your goal to play the "American man" games or your goal is to enjoy the nice company of a foreign woman?


@ Bijou

See http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=12555 for:

MEXICO: Success Story from an Asian-American College Student
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=11808

My Mexican girlfriend vs. American college girls
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=11828

My Mexico Adventure (Dec. 2011) - with photos!
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=12355


I didn't read the whole thing but from what I saw you were pretty descent boyfriend. Congrats.
I didn't see you using the "jelous techniques" and the bad boy attitude though!

However we were talking about the Bad Boy attitude and the fact you guys believe this is completely normal behaveour. You are brainwashed by your women... And women like me are suffering from that! European girls will not let you be jerk with them because the mentality is different. Nobody likes bad boys, everybody's dreaming for gentleman. Here women are active, super capable and are taking over responsibilities that are not their business and men are confused what theyr role is, so they take pasive, or ignorant role.
Last edited by Bijou on Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:31 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby OutWest » Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:19 pm

Bijou wrote:
Falcon wrote:
Bijou wrote:Falcon, what is your goal?
Is your goal to play the "American man" games or your goal is to enjoy the nice company of a foreign woman?


@ Bijou

See http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=12555 for:

MEXICO: Success Story from an Asian-American College Student
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=11808

My Mexican girlfriend vs. American college girls
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=11828

My Mexico Adventure (Dec. 2011) - with photos!
http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=12355



Show me a sucess story with an average European woman. Woman that is coming from a country with traditions, not from a place where some people still wear skirts from banana leaves.
The American Bad Boy attitude doesn't work there, buddy. No one will let you be disrespectful.


Just where does one find girls wearing skirts made out of banana leaves? I live in a relatively remote area in the
Philippines, and even here, banana leaf fashions do not seem to have caught on...my wife went back to school and has just completed her engineering degree. Even our local live-in housekeeper has more manners and class than the typical
American girl her age...success in Europe? Likely, but they are unlikely to be spending their time posting here...

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Postby Bijou » Sun Mar 04, 2012 5:55 pm

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Postby NorthAmericanguy » Sun Mar 04, 2012 6:06 pm

Taco wrote:Yeah, its like a low paying job at a fast food restaurant flipping burgers as fast as you can, at the end of the day you have nothing to show for it. Eventually, you just lose your motivation because you can never get ahead.


Exactly^

My personal spin at it is that whatever amount of effort you put into the relationship with American girls, nothing is ever good enough for them, and interestingly, this mindset mirrors the American throw away society, where as, for example, the last model of a phone that worked fine is no longer good enough, and is "old" simply because a new and "better" model is available.

My last GF had me on the treadmill and she was the one who opened my eyes to the fact that it no longer pays to court American girls (her friends were the same way). These American girls keep you on a treadmill where as you have to constantly keep their attention and win over their approval from one drudgery day right into the next. It reaches its zenith points on their birthdays, anniversaries and V day (with the later 2 holidays now being all about them).


In the end, we Western men will have the last laugh because there are no better or richer men on planet Earth, so all these Western c**ts who don't want to "settle" for a decent man who makes an average living will be single or riding the cock carousel for the rest of their lives UNLIKE Eastern women who have their choice of local men OR the more wealthy Western men.
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Postby Falcon » Mon Mar 05, 2012 4:39 am

Bijou wrote:I didn't read the whole thing but from what I saw you were pretty descent boyfriend. Congrats.
I didn't see you using the "jelous techniques" and the bad boy attitude though!

However we were talking about the Bad Boy attitude and the fact you guys believe this is completely normal behaveour. You are brainwashed by your women... And women like me are suffering from that! European girls will not let you be jerk with them because the mentality is different. Nobody likes bad boys, everybody's dreaming for gentleman. Here women are active, super capable and are taking over responsibilities that are not their business and men are confused what theyr role is, so they take pasive, or ignorant role.


Yes, I never ever used "jealous" or "bad boy" techniques with my girlfriend. That's exactly why she likes me so much, is because I am the complete polar opposite of a controlling jerk.

I do not recommend the Bad Boy attitude at all. I would not recommend the "jealous" techniques in most cases either. All I said is that the "jealous" techniques seem to work pretty well oftentimes, though not always.

And women like me are suffering from that!


Right on. It's fantastic to hear such an opinion. Good girls should like good boys. :D
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