Discuss and talk about any general topic.
Today, I was blocked by a female friend on Facebook. I was wondering whether you think she was justified or not.
I will outline the steps that led to it:
- While we were having a conversation at work yesterday, my nerves were playing up, and I was stuttering a little bit. She directly addressed this. She asked if I was okay and I said yes. She said that this was awkward. She also asked if I was stoned, and I said no. I told her everything was okay, and not to worry about it.
- That night on Facebook I messaged her and said the following things in my message:
* I said that I was sorry for making her feel awkward. I said that my nerves play up sometimes, and I get adrenalin, so I can't help it. I again told her she doesn't need to worry about it.
* I told her that the reason I'm telling her this is because of the way she addressed this to me.
* I also told her that I had resigned from work that day (affective in two weeks time) and I was excited, which was further adding to my adrenalin.
Now, she has not only un-friended me, she has blocked me. Do you think think she had a valid reason for blocking me? Or do you think it was harsh? Why would she block me for this? Even if it did make her uncomfortable, she could just ignore it. To me, blocking me seems a bit drastic.
It is going to be very uncomfortable next time I see her at work.
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she asked if you were stoned and instead of telling her , u explained it on facebook....
but don't worry its NOT your fault this happened to u and people start ignoring or trying to avoid u.
its a good thing this situation happened because it shows people wether they understand and care or the opposite way and need nothing to do with u .
so the next day just pretend nothing happened when u go to work, just do ur job at work then enjoy ur socializing with others including the french lady and do not be in a depressed mood just enjoy ur day.
since u explained once u don't need to explain again feeling unheard and misunderstood because its better ur in that situation than being in others people shoes such as being mute or deaf or any other problems that could be worse .
I posted this thread because I was interested in peoples opinions of whether you think it was justified or not that she blocked me. Whatever her POV is, is a different issue altogether.
What - do you think - is so bad that I explained to her on Facebook? I thought Facebook was for communication. I only work weekends, and hardly ever see her, and I just wanted to explain to her after I had a think about it. No one has ever directly said that talking to me is "awkward", and it effected me. I had to address it (and it wasn't really that awkward anyway).
If someone messaged you like that, would you block them? Wouldn't a better practice - if you thought it was wierd- be to ignore it?
But anyway, thank you for your thoughts!
no no its ok
facebook is ok to talk but in some people think " why won't u say it to me straight away but instead u use FB ? " ( or any social net )
the things is to "her" the way how ur nerves starting and made u stutter ( which is ok i stuttered before and people tried to understand me wich made me feel embarressed )
i use to stutter when nervous lol and gets frustrating in explaining things which some avoid and walk away. had made her feel uncomfortable ( well since she's french i guess saying awkward is making her feel different uneasy ) but lets say that maybe not right and a misunderstanding
although she did ask if u were stoned , and thats a sign which got made her feel that way like insecure ( like when some stranger walks up to u and acts like a drunk and stoned which u get scared and walk away from that person quick )
so u explained which ofcourse she understood
i think what made her block lol is when u used the word ............. resigned !
resigned means :
1.Voluntarily leave a job or other position.
2.Give up (an office, power, privilege, etc.).
what do u use to work as and did u find a new career maybe ?
well lol im thinking there maybe posibalities for this reason
its good thing u said she's asian since ( srry for the stereotypes ) that they be in partner with the ones with good careers because of family pressure, i think u uprised her for leaving ur job without telling her early though
and she maybe hurt that ur leaving because i think the reason why she did'nt tell u could be she has this poker face like hides her emotions that she likes u and ur travelling by leaving her and she's now searching for someone new
but my advice if u would like take it if u want to, is what i think, u should let go and get on with ur life....
because if u were in her place ? would u block and unfriend ?
this maybe hard on some people because they want to know why but if they do it themselves they feel " oh if i block this person he or she maybe shocked , confused and upset and won't talk to me and i will be at peace and free not seeing this person "
if u choose to let go and forget and start new ( like do whatever u want , in meeting u friends or maybe females too but dont be too hard on urself if rejected , like lol i know western guys they always aim for meeting girls but u need to be steady such as if u were in a hotel , go to the gym , tourists places or anywhere where u enjoy and theeeeen u see someone and say hi in a chatting friendly and if likey then datey lol , no pressure just let go )
and ofcourse some people who block will start to miss the ones the blocked and try to renew it , and its ur choice wether to start new and see whats wrong or ignore
I believe she overreacted but possibly Storm11_girl could be correct in that she felt "hurt" you were leaving for another job and she wanted to distance herself from you even though you explained your 'shyness' (stuttering) on Facebook. I think that basically you have to realize that people have their own ways of ending friendships/relationships.
I believe the best solution is to finish your time at work and find another relationship possibly.
There has been a misunderstanding...or most probably I didn't explain it properly. I was not in a relationship with her Just a friend.
I know she didn't block me because of my resignation. It's because of the other things I said.
It's hard to say without knowing you better. But I think that she could have thought that you'd keep annoying her with messages on facebook if she didn't block you: "Hey, I'm normal." "Really, I'm normal--I'm serious!" "Hey! Why won't you talk to me?" "Hey, is everything alright?" Maybe she was trying to avoid that kind of thing.
Perhaps it would be more important for you to find some long-term solution for your anxiety, such as regularly doing yoga, tai chi, or meditation or perhaps even playing a musical instrument--whatever works for you. Once you get a bit more control of yourself emotionally, you will have less of these problems in the future.
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