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Is Online Dating Ruining Dating for Average Guys?

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Is Online Dating Ruining Dating for Average Guys?

Postby spinaroonie » Sat Apr 14, 2012 1:53 pm

Been seeing more and more of this lately - guy and girl have a great first date, no lay, never hears from her again.

Wonder how much of it has to do with the "mainstreamization" of online dating in recent years?

Any girl with a POF/OKC profile she has a stready stream of suitors knocking at her door. Rest assured there are hundreds of better looking thirsty dudes with more status hitting her up. These guys won't commit but they'll hit it and quit it.

Men are as faithful as their options. Women are as choosy as their options. With online dating, an attractive woman's options are seemingly infinite. In keeping with her hypergamous instincts, she's always on the lookout for the bigger, better deal.

In the past a woman would stick with a guy after a good date because she had no other solid prospects lined up. Now she's more likely to stray.

Online dating is a boon for guys who fit the media-promulgated aesthetic ideal (tall, muscular, white). Like this guy - http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-3601- ... #pid102162

Guys who don't measure up physically have tough road to ho. No matter how tight his verbal game, a short Asian guy will always be hard-up when Mr. Tom Brady lookalike is hollering at her from the next browser.

Online dating is courtship distilled to its essence sans the filter of approach anxiety.

A 1000 rejections in the real world would cripple a man.
A 1000 rejections in the virtual world mean nothing.

Thousands of thirsty dudes without approach anxiety + hypergamous women with infinite options is a recipe for dating disaster. Unhappy girls who can't get a top guy to commit, and unhappy guys who can't get a date.

This phenomenon is unprecedented in human history.

And if online dating loses its stigma and becomes mainstream, it could put the average guy's prospects in serious jeopardy.

What % of single girls 20-29 today have online dating profiles?
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Re: Is Online Dating Ruining Dating for Average Guys?

Postby jamesbond » Sat Apr 14, 2012 2:46 pm

spinaroonie wrote:Any girl with a POF/OKC profile she has a stready stream of suitors knocking at her door. Rest assured there are hundreds of better looking thirsty dudes with more status hitting her up. These guys won't commit but they'll hit it and quit it.

Men are as faithful as their options. Women are as choosy as their options. With online dating, an attractive woman's options are seemingly infinite. In keeping with her hypergamous instincts, she's always on the lookout for the bigger, better deal.

In the past a woman would stick with a guy after a good date because she had no other solid prospects lined up. Now she's more likely to stray.

Online dating is a boon for guys who fit the media-promulgated aesthetic ideal (tall, muscular, white). Like this guy - http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-3601- ... #pid102162

Guys who don't measure up physically have tough road to ho. No matter how tight his verbal game, a short Asian guy will always be hard-up when Mr. Tom Brady lookalike is hollering at her from the next browser.

Online dating is courtship distilled to its essence sans the filter of approach anxiety.

A 1000 rejections in the real world would cripple a man.
A 1000 rejections in the virtual world mean nothing.


Thousands of thirsty dudes without approach anxiety + hypergamous women with infinite options is a recipe for dating disaster. Unhappy girls who can't get a top guy to commit, and unhappy guys who can't get a date.

This phenomenon is unprecedented in human history.

And if online dating loses its stigma and becomes mainstream, it could put the average guy's prospects in serious jeopardy.

What % of single girls 20-29 today have online dating profiles?

Yes, what internet dating has done, is given women a shit load of options namely because in the US, 80% of people who use online dating are men and only 20% are women!
So the oddds are really in a woman's favor. She will "date up" and dump a guy as soon as someone else better comes along.


Guys on the other hand, will take just about any woman they can find. Even is she is a single mother, overweight or unattractive. The competition for young, attractive women in the US is off the charts!
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Postby Banano » Sat Apr 14, 2012 7:08 pm

Online dating is on the rise and when it finally becomes mainstream guys will have it real tough. Last 2 women i met in the bar had profiles on POF, as you can imagine I didnt get far with both of them, I could sense there was no urgency or willingness to go on a date in the first place and i never got second date. Im trying to rationalize and its tough when these women get bombarded with so many guys online n I mean very good looking guys with no flaws, its fks up yr chances as hot alpha is just click away.
Online dating is much worse for average guy thn clubs and bars cause its purely looks and nothing else and ratios are worse than bars+there is no alcohol. Noone reads profiles anyway, its waste of time and they are all like template these days.....
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Postby pete98146 » Sat Apr 14, 2012 8:14 pm

The answer is YES. I remember back in the 80s and the 90s when I was actively dating. Seventy percent of the women were slender and thirty percent fat. Fast forward to 2012 and seventy percent of the women are fat and only thirty percent slender.

So the competition for the few remaining slender women is beyond FIERCE. So if you are a guy like me who doesn't find bigger women attractive, what do you do? If you limit yourself to dating American women only, you're screwed!

I remember when I got a divorce 10 years ago I joined a now defunct dating site (Udate.com). I did get a few nibbles from women here in Seattle but it was basically a waste of my time. Interestingly, Udate also had internation settings! Once I expanded my geographic limitations, the interest level from foreign women shot off the charts. This was the impuetus needed to realize my dating world was about to change for good :)

So the moral of the story is don't waste your time with US based dating sites unless you are a BMW driving neurosurgeon....
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Postby Repatriate » Sat Apr 14, 2012 8:35 pm

I don't even know why you would bother with this in the U.S. it's a losing proposition all the way.
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Postby OzGuy » Sat Apr 14, 2012 9:08 pm

Ok something I don't get here.

In most countries women make up close to 50% of the population, so why do they have such high demand? With the way things are, one would guess that women only make up about 10% of the population.

Obviously there are far more men using online dating than women, but what about in the real world? There is still a much higher demand for women. How can there be far more single men compared to women if the numbers are 50/50?

The only explanation could be that far more women choose to be single. Therefore, this number might be effectively reduced to say 30%. I think more women choose to be single because they are far more picky than men. They wait around hoping their "knight in shining armour" will "sweep them off their feet". And by the way, I have read those quotes actually written in female's profiles.

Anglo women have far too high expectations of men, and much of this is thanks to the media. They watch crap like sex in the city, desperate housewives, chick flicks etc... which portrays an unrealistic image of the "perfect man". They then think they are also entitled to this so they remain single until it comes along.
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Postby Someone » Sat Apr 14, 2012 9:36 pm

Banano wrote:Online dating is much worse for average guy thn clubs and bars cause its purely looks and nothing else and ratios are worse than bars+there is no alcohol.


I agree completely - that's been my experience too
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Postby jamesbond » Sun Apr 15, 2012 12:59 am

OzGuy wrote:Ok something I don't get here.

Obviously there are far more men using online dating than women, but what about in the real world? There is still a much higher demand for women. How can there be far more single men compared to women if the numbers are 50/50?

In the United States, between the ages of 25 to 45, 55% of the single people are men and only 45% are women. So the men out number the women in this age group by quite a bit.

Also, for online dating, 80% of the people in the US who use it are men and only 20% are women. Now you can see why the dating scene is so skewed in the woman's favor. Just another reason to visit foreign countries.

In Russia, there are 10 million more women than men. In Ukraine, there are 3.5 million more women than men. I read in Russia, for every 8 single men, there are 10 single women! So, it's basically just the opposite in Russia and Ukraine from what it is in the USA. :D


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Postby publicduende » Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:36 am

jamesbond wrote:In Russia, there are 10 million more women than men. In Ukraine, there are 3.5 million more women than men. I read in Russia, for every 8 single men, there are 10 single women! So, it's basically just the opposite in Russia and Ukraine from what it is in the USA. :D


That's quite curious: if Russia is such a dating heaven how come I have never actually met a man who managed to take home one of these Russian legends, let alone one who had a happy relationship for a number of years? I have seen lots of mixed couples wife being from China, Korea, Japan, the Philippines, yet never Russia. The only people I know with Russian wives are Russians living here, or the occasional Israeli guy who met a Russian woman expatriated to Israel some time before.
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Postby publicduende » Sun Apr 15, 2012 1:37 am

Banano wrote:Online dating is on the rise and when it finally becomes mainstream guys will have it real tough. Last 2 women i met in the bar had profiles on POF, as you can imagine I didnt get far with both of them, I could sense there was no urgency or willingness to go on a date in the first place and i never got second date. Im trying to rationalize and its tough when these women get bombarded with so many guys online n I mean very good looking guys with no flaws, its fks up yr chances as hot alpha is just click away.
Online dating is much worse for average guy thn clubs and bars cause its purely looks and nothing else and ratios are worse than bars+there is no alcohol. Noone reads profiles anyway, its waste of time and they are all like template these days.....


The why not go the old traditional way and meet women in coffee shops, art galleries and pubs & clubs?
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Postby Banano » Sun Apr 15, 2012 3:02 am

Pubs & clubs is much better choice for men than online dating even though ratio is 60%-70% men vs 40%-30% women, you have alcohol factor which is known to lower inhibitions so you could bump into some drunk loose women who mite think you are 9/10 and bingo.
With online dating if your profile pic isnt 8+ she wont even read your profile, she only reads it if she thinks you look good in your main pic.

What worries me abt online dating is the amount of good to model looking guys that are using it, i tested it on a few websites by searching for 20 to 35 yo guys and I could say that there are lots of guys who could be considered 8 or 9, no visible flaws. I mean why the f**k these guys need to use internet to get a women, sure they could pick up easily in the bar.

Think abt it, if you are 6 wht chances you have against those guys, she wouldnt give a fck abt yr personality as it counts to nothing, zero.
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Re: Is Online Dating Ruining Dating for Average Guys?

Postby emh » Sun Apr 15, 2012 5:49 am

spinaroonie wrote:Been seeing more and more of this lately - guy and girl have a great first date, no lay, never hears from her again.

Wonder how much of it has to do with the "mainstreamization" of online dating in recent years?

Any girl with a POF/OKC profile she has a stready stream of suitors knocking at her door. Rest assured there are hundreds of better looking thirsty dudes with more status hitting her up. These guys won't commit but they'll hit it and quit it.

Men are as faithful as their options. Women are as choosy as their options. With online dating, an attractive woman's options are seemingly infinite. In keeping with her hypergamous instincts, she's always on the lookout for the bigger, better deal.

In the past a woman would stick with a guy after a good date because she had no other solid prospects lined up. Now she's more likely to stray.

Online dating is a boon for guys who fit the media-promulgated aesthetic ideal (tall, muscular, white). Like this guy - http://www.rooshvforum.com/thread-3601- ... #pid102162

Guys who don't measure up physically have tough road to ho. No matter how tight his verbal game, a short Asian guy will always be hard-up when Mr. Tom Brady lookalike is hollering at her from the next browser.

Online dating is courtship distilled to its essence sans the filter of approach anxiety.

A 1000 rejections in the real world would cripple a man.
A 1000 rejections in the virtual world mean nothing.

Thousands of thirsty dudes without approach anxiety + hypergamous women with infinite options is a recipe for dating disaster. Unhappy girls who can't get a top guy to commit, and unhappy guys who can't get a date.

This phenomenon is unprecedented in human history.

And if online dating loses its stigma and becomes mainstream, it could put the average guy's prospects in serious jeopardy.

What % of single girls 20-29 today have online dating profiles?


You know, I've never thought about this before but I think you may be onto something. I was an "early adopter" of online dating and in the early days I had a fair amount of success. Not so much in terms of an actual relationship but in terms of having women write me back and actually meeting women in person. But somewhere along the way things dried up and I started striking out big time. I was still the same person, but women were no longer responding to me. So now I'm guessing this is what happened...in the early days, there wasn't that much competition on online dating so it was relatively easy for me to get a woman's attention. But as more and more men started getting into online dating, I got "crowded out".
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Postby davewe » Sun Apr 15, 2012 6:56 am

pete98146 wrote:
So the moral of the story is don't waste your time with US based dating sites unless you are a BMW driving neurosurgeon....


Or a BMW-driving engineer :)
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Postby Banano » Sun Apr 15, 2012 4:22 pm

She wont be interested in your BMW if your are 3 out of 10

Its easy to put up a few BMW pix on your profile but that will not work unless she thinks you are cute and sexy

Do an experiment create profile with fat asian who is 2 out of 10 with 100K BMW and other profile that is 9 out of 10 guy Becham/Brad Pitt look alike with average job and car.

Who do you think will get more hot young chicks, one night stands?
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Postby davewe » Sun Apr 15, 2012 8:38 pm

Banano wrote:She wont be interested in your BMW if your are 3 out of 10

Its easy to put up a few BMW pix on your profile but that will not work unless she thinks you are cute and sexy

Do an experiment create profile with fat asian who is 2 out of 10 with 100K BMW and other profile that is 9 out of 10 guy Becham/Brad Pitt look alike with average job and car.

Who do you think will get more hot young chicks, one night stands?


I think the point is most men in the first world are wasting their time in online dating - period, regardless of car, job, status or even good looks. An average looking woman online gets so much attention that she's quickly spoiled and comes to believe she "deserves" the Brad Pitt lookalike.

It's really not a hard concept. If you are fishing in a pond with few decent fish to catch you can do one of two things: spends thousands of dollars on the top equipment and guides, as well as hundreds of hours scouring the stream; or find a better fishing hole. Isn't that why we're all on HA?
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