Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discuss and talk about any general topic.
I know that some of you are married. If you love being married all the power to you.
However, I have noticed that almost every single guy I went to college with is engaged or married.
It's crazy. Do they not know the marriage and divorce laws in America?
Are they just conformists who don't question society?
Or are they just glad that finally a pretty women is paying attention to them and they feel that they won't be able to get any other women?
Little do they know how miserable they will be.
some smart dude wrote" The mass of men live lives of quiet desperation"
they think society is more important than their own vision for themselves...f**k that
i would never voluntarily put myself thru that financial ruin and nightmare headache known as US marriage and divorce industry.
marriage is a 3 ring circus: engagement ring, wedding ring and then suffering.
Yeah, I've seen it happen a million times.
American men have such low self esteem they'll marry the first fat slut that goes out with them. The real issue is that American men are just completely psyched out and demoralized by the constant negative messages they get from the media and western culture as a whole. Unable to think for themselves anymore, American men are nothing but a beast of burden with a yoke(marriage) around their neck and untimately end up in the glue factory(divorce court).
However, I would never discourage anyone from getting married. I think being married is a wonderful thing if you find the right woman and you live in the right country. Its hard for me to believe sometimes how badly most Filipinas want to be married to an American man. Most of them have sincere intentions and will do ANYTHING to please you.
Last edited by Taco on April 16th, 2012, 9:12 pm, edited 1 time in total.
Dude, American men are desperately afraid of being lonely and ostracized. Thus, once they hit that magical age, ~30, they'll do anything to make themselves believe that they've found 'the one', and take the plunge.
If you remember those so-called teenage rebels, circa ages 15 to 20? Well today, I'm the last rebel (meaning an adult rebel, cause any idiot can be a teenager and rebellious) of my high school graduating class. Tomorrow is Patriots' Day, the annual celebration of the start of the American revolution in greater Boston; & I almost can't believe that there was a generation of Bostonians, centuries ago, who put their life and limb on the line for independence. It's the diametric opposite today.
Any man who is dumb enough to get married in America deserves what he gets. I mean, I have seen that only hte most pathetic manginas and Christian men will still get married. Most of the guys I know, are single.
So the manginas and Christian men deserve it. Why? Because they are the same ones who ridicule anti-feminism, so fine. Let them taste the bitter fruits of marriage and divorce to a western woman first-hand, and see if they are still manginas and white knights afterwards.
Manginas will get exactly what they deserve in the end, instant karma. When the mangina gets his house, kids, and salary stolen by his ex-wife, then if he has any honor at all, he will admit the anti-feminists were right.
To all of you who are remaining unmarried and single, GOOD FOR YOU. You are the real heroes of this movement. Now try to htink of ways to spread anti-feminism. Create your own anti-feminist propaganda campaigns the way I have done. If we all do this, we will defeat the feminazis very quickly.
What about all those guys out there who are actually not just happy to be married, but who are actually happy?
Couples who have been together for the long haul and are still making it.
Even the newly married ones...I mean it depends on the people in these marriages and how much growth they have separately and together.
I mean America may not have it's shit together as a whole and we're still going through tough times, but American women aren't non-marriage material. I mean that fact that people here still marry should attest to that.
Now whatever happens down the line is a different story, but the fact that you can still find someone to love should lighten the hatred of U.S women a bit.
I've seen marriages of friends and family some didn't work out and others do.
Shouldn't that just be taken as fact in a society where a million different things can make or break a relationship.
I mean western women aren't any different from western men. We were all raised in a society with the same or similar rules, ideas, and guidelines.
So that means western men exhibit similar traits that aren't that much different from their counterparts.
There are women out there who work really hard on their relationships, who cater to their men/husband, who stay at home and raise children, or who works while the husband stays home, and etc...
There are so many different situations out there.
I mean you guys make it seems as if all American women are banshees who should never see the light of day...
And men who marry them are pathetic, pushovers, "manginas", boys, have low self esteem, and etc...
There are some very strong men emotionally and mentally out there married to American women who enjoy them and are not afraid to let the world know it. Men who are cool and are great fathers.
None of them are perfect and they have their own issues from time to time, but they don't blame it on their women unnecessarily.
They know that's life and that no where is perfect. They know the society they live in and how it operates unless their living in a bubble, but that doesn't make them different from the majority.
Most just want to live happy decent lives and enjoy themselves.
All this hatred for American women really isn't helping to change anything and if the women are such a problem; then they perfectly represent the society they are raised in. As are all of you. Society gets out what it puts into it's people.
American women marrying foreigners isn't exactly rare either and some aren't happy with the situation here.
So where does that leave them?
I know you guys see feminism as the root of all your woes and you have the complete right to that view.
But I think while feminism is a pretty big factor there's a bigger picture.
I know this is probably going to be flamed to hell, but that is my opinion.
Pricking up her golden head:
We must not look at goblin men,
We must not buy their fruits:
Who knows upon what soil they fed
Their hungry thirsty roots?"
+1000. Thank you very much for this very insightful post.
American men have also been extremely nasty: many of the worst war criminals of the 20th and 21st centuries have been American men.
Quite a few American women are also incredibly kind, virtuous, and generous people. I have seen plenty of wonderful American women volunteering at charities, helping the less fortunate, and making the world a better place to live. I also have met a middle-aged American woman who met her Mexican husband in Chiapas, Mexico, and they have been happily married for several years. She enjoys learning Spanish and Tzeltal (an indigenous language of Chiapas) and is an absolute joy to be around with. She is not the "typical American woman" being bashed around the Web. This couple is certainly much happier than many couples involving foreign (non-Anglo) wives.
Yes, I do agree that many American women are unpleasant to be around with. That's a trend, but not the rule.
Have I been frustrated and angry about my experiences with Asian-American women? Yes.
Am I upset about the fact that I am surrounded by materialistic, cliquish Americans? Yes.
But do I hate them? No. They are fellow human beings who are suffering too, and unfortunately make others suffer too as a result. Oftentimes I enjoy making them feel better by giving them positive thoughts and advice.
Feminism is only a small part of it, even though it's been a favorite punching bag for many jaded American men out there. As Steve Nesse's research section shows, mass consumerism, the decline of moral values, lax parenting, and ignorance in general are the biggest culprits.
Last edited by Falcon on April 16th, 2012, 7:44 am, edited 1 time in total.
So VERY true. Some of my best friends and even my own brother are victim to this. I'd love to educate them on how bad marriage is for men, but honestly when these guys think that they've found their "soul mate", and they believe her lie of "I'm saving myself for marriage", and they move in with her, and they take care of her 2lbs. dog, and they are paying her bills, by then all the men's rights education in the world wouldn't do any good.
"Manginas grovel. Men travel." - me (04/17/2012)
"I used to be one of those men who believed that men are better than women at everything. Then I stood corrected!
Women are better than men at... getting fat." - me (02/24/2013)
Black women suck at life.
Unfortunately, you will have men although disgusted with society will marry the first women who gives them the time of day. I was part of a Fraternity in university (contrary to stereotypes, it was a good social club at least during university). Most guys after graduation the last few years are 'married' or 'engaged'. Some of the guys who get married meet their 'sweetheart' during university.
Most of the women are the not the best wife material. However, I do not hate the women. I think everyone should have a chance at happiness. I give everyone respect regardless if they are American or otherwise. I think many American men are weak and most are not the best marriage material either.
However, I still believe that marriage to a foreign woman will be much better and I understand that most of the women who understood me were not American (or Canadian) but from Europe.
In a nutshell, perhaps up to ~15% of the population.
BTW, some folks also get married and stay married but live a miserable life. My sister and her husband are one such couple where she's an armchair feminist and he's the browbeaten 'Catholic' thinking type who's against being seen as 'Divorced' in public. Thus, his health is steadily deteriorating but there's little chance of them ever getting a divorce.
So here's the breakdown ...
50% divorce, this is documented
50% stay together
the breakdown of the 50% "stay together":
30% are unhappy but content w/ routine... the manginas, brother-in-law, etc fit into this category. These are the men most despised on this forum.
5% have extramarital affairs & as a result, are content w/ the marriage for the kids' sake, but then, extramartials for sex/companionship (see Prince Charles for a high profile case or even Bill Clinton [ albeit his idea of 'affair' is pathetic ] ). Some couples find this to be an acceptable way to be.
< 15% OK ... this is the sweet spot and yes, it does exists, however, here's one major detraction. The < 15% happy crowd tend to come from similar backgrounds. I know of two such couples, very well for a really long time... the first is orthodox Jewish and the duo have everything in common from individual goals to what they want w/ kids. The other is Cambodian-American and they're also very well matched.
And finally, I know a few more from Armenian 2nd/3rd American generation diasporas, born-again *semi-rustic* WASP-y Christians, Boston Brahmins [ a fantasy world of sorts ], etc. Thus, for the most part, getting into this Cum Laude/Honor society is kinda difficult, given the fact that modern American society is splintered in so many ways. My belief is that if you didn't meet this *person* prior to the age of let's say 24-25, the chances are that you've missed the boat.
I'm sorry if I've removed the optimism vis-a-vis romanticism from your response but the real-life results imply that the odds are stacked against the average Joe/Jane. Is it worth it for a person, to throw everything at a dart board with a 10-15% of achieving some level of contentment? I say no.
While people still get married and there is an overall decline in married couples (Ying/Yang); James correct stated that the REAL problems are at the margins of society.
80% of divorce is caused by economic issues and 70% of women initiate divorce proceedings. I'm sure it can be confirmed that these two issues are related.
So if your median wage has declined, it looks to me alot of women jump ship for bigger and better things. This works in parallel with marginalizing decent over being a Single Mother or Divorcee.
What this really means is often SEEN in Dating Profiles and among the first questions asked on a first date. Women are often gauging your economic position and potential, often without even asking (The car you drive, the shoes you wear, the watch on your arm...). Now this is perfectly reasonable if your a single mother. You have children you don't want to drag further into poverty. That makes, but these ambitious career women often times are not just seeking to have intelligent dialog which is the cover used for pursuing men with college degrees, its to maximize wage output, often times increasing wealth by 50-60-70%!
While a woman earns her own money, which is perfectly okay, why is it of concern of what I do? If I make MINES and do okay for MYSELF that is largely NONE OF YOUR BUSINESS what I do. Many women knowingly date CRIMINALS and don't ask what they do, this is a DOUBLE STANDARD.
If I tell a woman I am rebooting my life and continuing my education, I am thanked and my replies are not returned. While if positions were reversed, 98% of men would still date that woman.
Why do I pursue Foreign Women? Because this JUDGEMENT is NEVER MADE. As I have told friends, earning money is NOT A CONCERN. I can and will earn money and even earn money now without working and without unemployment insurance.
But because I lack a car in a city that is car dependent, there is no reason to pursue American Women. Also I know working and having a car are not the only minimal requirements.
Towards the end I had two cars: 2002 Mazda 5 (rare 5 speed) and 2003 Dodge Neon SRT-4
Did I have women beating down my door and blowing up my cell? NO!
If I lived on the west side (of Los Angeles) in a $1,500 a month 1 bedroom apartment, ALONE and has a recent 3-series downstairs, I can almost assure you my dating prospects would improve 10 fold.
From ambitious women looking at wealth accumulation to single mothers desperate to escape working class life or poverty.
At least ambitious women in other countries are easily avoided, they are the minority...
At the end of the day, ALIMONY and COMMUNITY PROPERTY ain't no joke.
Some of the guys that I went to college with who are now married were actually ignored by women in college!
Then once the first pretty woman showed them attention, they got married to them!
To one of the above posters about there being marriages that are happy, many people who appear happy in marriages are miserable who are generally the men who have it the worst.
In short, marriage offers little to no benefit for men but women and children benefit from marriage.
Once again for the small minority who have found happiness in marriage, all the power to you but the odds are heavily in favor for women not men.
You're where you're at in life because of your thoughts.
What you think about the most is what you will eventually manifest in your life.
no marriage offers more for the men obviously they are the ones who canÂ´t deal with loneliness. i see it with my brother. his first wife was a fat chech girl who stole money. his now fat girl friend ist not too much better. at least he doesnÂ´t want to marry her. he says to me he needs women. so itÂ´s no wonder he getÂ´s the first one who says yes.