The 'Greener on the other side' syndrome of American culture

[Jester]

If you treat western women different to how you treat western men then you are a sexist, discriminatory bigot BY DEFINITION. Women DEMANDED to be treated as equals.

I think is the place that you and I part ways, Peter. You buy their feminist bullshit about being equals. I don't.

[Jester]

A much better system by which to assign monogamy is arranged marriages, where a person's family chooses their spouse from another family. Of course this would never work in today's age, but in the past when traditional gender roles/religious values were intact and levels consumerism/other forms of mental illnesses were low, it worked for a healthy and functional society.

I have nothing against arranged marriages. The kids always got a chance to see each other first, and in most cases had input into the choice.

I dated a divorced woman who had been married that way back in Iran's Armenian community. She had been charmed by the status and wealth of the young man's family - she was charmed and pressured, but wasn't unwilling.

Seems no worse than the tactics we used to get sex in college. And in her case, she did get a ring!

[Jester]

The question is, which is the cause and which is the effect? I would argue that liberalism and feminism are a major cause of selfishness and consumerism. Women consume by instinct. But men mainly consume only to impress women. Virtually all advertising aimed at men imply that the product will help the man get laid. In a patriarchal monogamous society, there is little need to consume. Each man gets a wife and so doesn't have to worry about impressing women. A nd women's consuming instinct is kept in check by her husband. In a patriarchal monogamous society, things like honesty and intelligence are valued. But when monogamy breaks down, these things become worthless and the only things that matter are the things that impress women, which basically are consumption and public displays of immorality. So that's where we are now.

Absolutely true.

I spent time in Ogden Utah, it was like this. Happy secure monogamous families. No ostentation, no showing off. And not a PUA anywhere to be found.

I think we voluntarily enter into bondage when we enslave ourselves to women. And as you point out we do that basically in order to score, or at least to be admired.

Cause and effect?

Yes that is the question.

A successful PUA who is compulsive about serial ONS's is still a slave, though a happier one. He has to have the six-pack, the wheels, the clothes, the opening lines, whatever. It is not one woman who is his master, but it is still women collectively. He is worshipping Venus.

We were made to be in charge, but we chose to put woman in charge. They don't like it, even though, as Peter points out, they asked for it, and still do.

[Jester]

Saying that women are the problem is like saying that bullets are responsible for killing people. Yes bullets may kill people, but they are not responsible. It is the personal who pulls the trigger, the person in control, who is responsible. The analogy to feminism is: women are like the bullets, culture is like the gun, and men are like the person who pulls the trigger. Men are responsible for culture and culture determines how women behave.

So let's dodge the bullets, but not waste anger on their individual actions. Instead, if and when possible, let's identify the man or men pulling the trigger - and do the obvious thing.

Dodging the bullets would be like ignoring AW and going abroad. Dealing with the triggerman (triggermen) would be in the realm of politics (or force, when SHTF).

To say that women are not responsible for their actions is to deny their CLAIM they are equal.....

Hunh? Deny the feminist claim? Heavens to Betsy! Not that! Surely not that!

[Winston]

Great post OP. I think the gender war was engineered to divide us. It is not natural and does not exist in most countries, at least not to the degree that it does in the US.

You gotta admit that the theme of this site is also predicated on the "greener on the other side" motif as well. lol

Isn't it funny that when your life is full of action and excitement, you yearn for rest, peace and stillness, but when your life is full of peace and stillness everyday, you get bored and start wanting some action and stimulation? It's like you can never be satisfied. Perhaps we are meant to be dissatisfied, otherwise we will never do anything?

And how come when Americans are at work, they talk about all the lovely vacations they want to take. But when they are on vacation, they talk about work? Isn't that stupid?

[Contrarian Expatriate]

This is likely to be my first and most likely only post but I feel there's a great deal of toxcicity and confusion with a good deal of the young (and older) men here and though I'm not sure if this type of topic has been posted before I feel it is appropriate.

I've noticed here and elsewhere on the internet there seems to be a great gender war between Americans. American Male vs American Female. I see a great deal of finger pointing on this site towards American Females and a great deal of finger pointing on female dominated sites towards American Males, each blaming the other for various problems.

And while the guys here and the women there all have very good, if extreme, points that they bring up about the other gender I honestly feel most people seem to be missing some key reasons as to why Americans, like no other, have turned on their own Countrymen/women in a way I rarely, if ever, see in people from other countries.

This is purely the opinion of an outsider and there will be generalizations so be warned.

The problem is neither American Women, nor is the problem American Men for the constant dissatisfaction both sexes seem to feel for each other. Indeed, I believe the problem lies squarely with your culture, specifically your consumerism culture.

Overall the consumer culture of America seems to be one of perpetual dissatisfaction and 'the grass is always greener' syndrome, this had spilled over into every facet of American life, most notably into relationships and it's had an EXTREMELY toxic effect on the way American Men and Women relate to each other and go about relationships. You've been raised on the idea that you deserve more, you deserve better, you shouldn't have to settle and the idea of instant gratification and the disposablility of things that don't make you "happy" in favor of newer and shinier things that DO make you "happy".

Think about this for a moment. Almost from the day they were born modern American women have been forcefed a diet of Disney promises, Harlequin dreams and Twilight-esqe prince charming expectations. They are told constantly that every girl is a princess and every girl deserves The Perfect Man, Prince Charming, Her Soulmate etc. This of course poses a problem for mortal men as nobody is perfect except in fairytales and harlequin romance novels.

On the other end of the spectrum American Men have likewise been forcefed a message and this is one of the Insatiable Slut, The Girl Gone Wild, and the Not A One Woman Man idea. In the complete opposite direction from American Women, American Men have been fed the idea that they should either have a perfect woman or, more commonly, that they should have a veritable revolving door of ageless, spotless, 'lady on the street but a freak in the sheets' supermodels. There has also been an increase in the message aimed directly at men (specifically young men) that marriage is a trap, that settling down will rob you of your manhood and cage the tiger inside and that having children and staying with one woman is an end to your freedom and the beginning of your new enslavement. There is an additional problem in the incredibly easy access to p**n has had an almost greater affect on the happiness of American Men because real women don't seem to compare and when American Men do find a good Woman for themselves they don't want to settle down because there's the lurking idea that something better might come along and when it does you'll be chained in the bonds of matrimony.



So what does this mean for the sexes? It mean you have a country full of entitled princesses and eternal boys, both out to fill the void of discontentment that their society has sowed within them and unable to do so because their expectations are so out of whack with reality that true fulfillment is impossible.

This sometimes leads to 'the grass is always greener' syndrome to the scale where American Men and Women seek happiness with the 'other'. Another country and their people, trying to find contentment in what they perceive as being superior members of the opposite sex (for Men this is often Asian Women, for Women this is often European Men). Sometimes they do find their elusive happiness but more often than not this leads to even more problems. If you can't find fulfillment at home it's not going to be a picnic finding fulfillment across language and cultural barriers.

In the end I think it's important to realize that "Feminazi, stuck up bitches" and "immature man-children" aren't really the problem, the problem is something far more complex than being able to point a finger at the opposite sex and proclaim "them" the problem. The problem is something deep and complicated and insidiously subtle in the very culture of America and its people where promises are made to the populace that can't possibly be kept and thus leads to disappointment and dissatisfaction in everything: your clothes, your looks, your car, your relationships, even your very country and language.

Hopefully this has resonated with some if the discontent and lonely that prowl this site and will lead to honest discussions and exploration. If not at least I hope I've brought an intelligent opinion to the table.

signed,
25/f/Canada

Ah, no.

Many of us here HAVE lived abroad and the grass IS greener outside of the Anglosphere. You as a Canadian have an interest in denying this fact because you are part and parcel of the problem.

Might there be some truth to the cultural issue you raise, perhaps. But for you to not acknowledge the years of discrimination and mistreatment men have suffered at the hands of women means, again, you are part of the problem.

It is NOT a problem between men and women. It is a problem with the women, period. Why do I say this? Because as I sit here abroad and enjoy the company of good women, I know first hand.

Take your pontificating female ass and go pollute some other site. We don't need you here, we don't want your type of eternal denial here, we are experienced men who don't value a 25 y/o Canadian cunt incorrectly pointing out what she thinks is the problem.

Now go make us some goddam sandwiches or get going out the forum!

[E_Irizarry]

....Now go make us some goddam sandwiches or get going out the forum!

She might spit in them. I rather wallow in my satiation for green eggs and ham.

[momopi]

Great post OP. You gotta admit that the theme of this site is also predicated on the "greener on the other side" motif as well. lol
Isn't it funny that when your life is full of action and excitement, you yearn for rest, peace and stillness, but when your life is full of peace and stillness everyday, you get bored and start wanting some action and stimulation? It's like you can never be satisfied. Perhaps we are meant to be dissatisfied, otherwise we will never do anything?
And how come when Americans are at work, they talk about all the lovely vacations they want to take. But when they are on vacation, they talk about work? Isn't that stupid?

When my boss went on vacation in Hawaii, we locked up his laptop and refused to let him take it with him.

We'd have gotten his cell phone too, had he not ran away quickly.

[pete98146]

Great post OP. You gotta admit that the theme of this site is also predicated on the "greener on the other side" motif as well. lol
Isn't it funny that when your life is full of action and excitement, you yearn for rest, peace and stillness, but when your life is full of peace and stillness everyday, you get bored and start wanting some action and stimulation? It's like you can never be satisfied. Perhaps we are meant to be dissatisfied, otherwise we will never do anything?
And how come when Americans are at work, they talk about all the lovely vacations they want to take. But when they are on vacation, they talk about work? Isn't that stupid?

When my boss went on vacation in Hawaii, we locked up his laptop and refused to let him take it with him.

We'd have gotten his cell phone too, had he not ran away quickly.

God not me! When I go on vacation it's time to RELAX and recharge my batteries. No chance I'd ever bring my laptop for work. Hellfrickin NO! Cell phone? I'm one of the few that purposely don't have one. Ninety nine percent of the time I don't need one. When I'm sitting my ass on a nice exotic beach I rarely get bored and I certainly don't talk about work!!!! Hmmmm, guess I'm not your typical American afterall

[Renata]

The system always seems to have the divide & conquer strategy, and if you want a society to fall you have to start the war from the inside.

[momopi]

God not me! When I go on vacation it's time to RELAX and recharge my batteries. No chance I'd ever bring my laptop for work. Hellfrickin NO! Cell phone? I'm one of the few that purposely don't have one. Ninety nine percent of the time I don't need one. When I'm sitting my a** on a nice exotic beach I rarely get bored and I certainly don't talk about work!!!! Hmmmm, guess I'm not your typical American afterall

Well, our operations is 24/7 global, so we need smart phones to check on things. But when someone is on vacation, he's not supposed to be attached to the hip with his work laptop.

[djfourmoney]

The system always seems to have the divide & conquer strategy, and if you want a society to fall you have to start the war from the inside.

Haven't you noticed the war has started from the inside? You think these gun toting mostly disaffected White Males is going to lie down and let the HNC take their guns away?

There was a run on Assault Weapons post Newton... There was another run on Assault Weapons when Obama was elected and re-elected.

There are random post of the pending "Race Riot" that these White Nationalist love to talk about.

We are either going to have a full scale currency collapse or default on Government bonds, the later is more likely will not lead to hyperinflation/violence. Letting the currency fail WILL.