Double standards on adultery

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PeterAndrewNolan
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Double standards on adultery

Post by PeterAndrewNolan »

Here is a good story. When it is a woman it is a "stupid fling" but when it is a man hes a "cheater" and should be destroyed in divorce.


http://www.dailymail.co.uk/femail/artic ... ffair.html
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Renata
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Post by Renata »

the way I see it, if he/she cheats on you, ... it's a damn good thing' because no one wants rubbish on their arm.

it hurts like hell to go through that with someone u love & care for but it's a long term blessing in disguise.
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Jester
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Post by Jester »

Renata wrote:the way I see it, if he/she cheats on you, ... it's a damn good thing' because no one wants rubbish on their arm.
I understand if you want exclusive attention, but you have to choose a man who is wired that way - a distinct minority.

Most men have multiple gf's if circumstances are right. We don't see it as wrong. If you want exclusive attention from one of us, you have to earn it day by day. Don't try to change us.

If you are angry at these men and calling them trash, then you don't really like men as they are.
Renata
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Post by Renata »

Jester there are lots of guys out there to suite me ... and yes I want exclusive attention. Many cultures encourage this as you already know.... including my own. I doubt most of you would want a girl that's running around on you with other people now?? ... & I would be blessed if I get what my parents had together.

it's a bit harsh to call cheaters rubbish' but I guess I'm socially conditioned to see this as negative and abnormal.... just as most of you guys on this site have become socially conditioned to see western women as unworthy', and it's becoming a preset bias with men now to think so.

To each his own.
sushiman
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Post by sushiman »

To the female poster, you seem like a decent person. But I personally dont see it as useful to demonize the way nature made people.

Guys naturally are born to have sex with lots of women, and the more successful they become the more they see this as their role (spreading good genes I guess is what nature intended).

Anyhow you can't change it.
Renata
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Post by Renata »

sushiman wrote:To the female poster, you seem like a decent person. But I personally dont see it as useful to demonize the way nature made people.

Guys naturally are born to have sex with lots of women, and the more successful they become the more they see this as their role (spreading good genes I guess is what nature intended).

Anyhow you can't change it.
sushiman you are referring to our Primal instinct, yes I understand.

In females their primal instincts are to choose the strongest, best hunter/best provider/protector because they want the good genes as you say ... in 2012 this equates to the richest or most athletic. You guys always demonize these ways. But as you mentioned above it's nature'.
Interesting isn't it.
sushiman
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Post by sushiman »

Yep I don't contest what you said, chicks in their natural form are great, I don't demonize. I like women. They just want to find a strong caveman with a nice cave, or the potential to build a nice cave, so they can make babies in safely! :). Understandable or how else would we survive.

But the guys here are talking about *AW* who are anything but natural. It's like some kind of freakish science experiment gone wrong. ;). They retain some of these natural instincts but it's all warped and perverted and destructive to the family.
PeterAndrewNolan
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Post by PeterAndrewNolan »

Renata wrote:the way I see it, if he/she cheats on you, ... it's a damn good thing' because no one wants rubbish on their arm.

it hurts like hell to go through that with someone u love & care for but it's a long term blessing in disguise.
Renata,
just remember that when a man IS faithful he is given no credit and no benefit for being so.

When I was young I did not want a lot of gfs because I was looking for a wife. I had VERY LITTLE in the way of sex and most people openly did not believe me when I said that. When other lads were boasting about "conquests" I would say I was not interested in that because if I had a lot of gfs or had sex with many women I was fearful I could not bond with ONE woman for my entire adult life. This fear has been confirmed now that I am 48 and have been able to date a number of women over the last 4 years. I know that for myself if I dated a lot of women as a teen and young man I would not have settled down for one woman. This is part of the reason people used to be married off young.

When I divorced and mentioned to my wife that I had never had sex with another woman despite all the opportunities her comment was "I do not believe you, all men cheat so you must have cheated".

So you women do not give us any credit for not cheating but you want to call us rubbish for cheating? How is that supposed to work exactly?

Further. Now I make it plain to women that I will not limit myself to one woman. Women I date are quite happy with that arrangement. Why should I limit myself to one woman when I did that for 23 years and women gave me no credit for it.

I am the "new man" Renata. The old me was faithful, hard working, great father, great husband, great family man. I was terribly treated by ALL BUT ONE western woman. This is the message I bring to the lads. No matter how good a husband you are in the west you will very likely be abused in divorce....so do not do it. It is NOT worth getting married in the west.

You women would have been well advised to denounce your criminal sisters. You didn't. So your credibility is also lost. The only thing you can do to start earning your credibility back is to be denouncing the criminal acts of women and creating courts and juries to put them on trial and give us men remedy for crimes committed against us by women. Anything less than than that is not good enough.

Is that clear to you what you have to do to start to earn YOUR credibility back?
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boycottamericanwomen
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Post by boycottamericanwomen »

Exactly, Peter.

Good men are treated like shit by women. But bad boys are worshipped by women.

So, the message is clear to us younger men- be a bad boy. There's absolutely no incentive to be a good boy.

You women turned men into bad boys and then you turn around and complain that there's no good men left? Women clearly do not possess long term foresight or logic. They are like little children, and thus must be protected, the same way young children are. To give women freedom is INSANITY, the same way it would be to give children freedom. It will cause CHAOS and that is EXACTLY what has happened.
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Renata
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Post by Renata »

PeterAndrewNolan you say "when a man IS faithful he is given no credit and no benefit for being so." this is in your culture & it's also your personal experience unfortunately. She didn't believe in your fidelity or trust you.

In my culture if one is unfaithful they are looked upon poorly. It's a shameful act... grounds for divorce. We have nothing like irreconcilable differences as a reason for divorce. We have, Adultery, Abuse & Abandonment, that's it. If someone wants out of a marriage any other reason than what I mentioned, it won't stand in court.
You see the difference.
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PeterAndrewNolan
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Post by PeterAndrewNolan »

Renata wrote:PeterAndrewNolan you say "when a man IS faithful he is given no credit and no benefit for being so." this is in your culture & it's also your personal experience unfortunately. She didn't believe in your fidelity or trust you.

In my culture if one is unfaithful they are looked upon poorly. It's a shameful act... grounds for divorce. We have nothing like irreconcilable differences as a reason for divorce. We have, Adultery, Abuse & Abandonment, that's it. If someone wants out of a marriage any other reason than what I mentioned, it won't stand in court.
You see the difference.
Renata,
I believe you are from Turkey. Please correct me if I am wrong. I also believe that you would very likely be muslim. Again, please correct me if I am wrong.

Correct. My wife did not believe me. This was because she was a pathological liar and could not believe that I could be honest in return. I also believe she had been cheating and so to sell herself that she was not the guilty party she had to assume I had also cheated. This is what men can expect in the english speaking world. This is what HA is all about. In the english speaking world (and other feminised countries) the women are so horrible that it does not matter how good a man you are there chances are you will get worked over in your divorce.

Now..you may say "well, I am from a different culture and I am not like that".

Well? You know what? Us men have heard the "not all women are like that" argument so many times now it really does not matter where you come from we are not going to believe you. When eastern european women or muslim women come into the west they become "like that" real fast.

Just in case you are muslim. I was talking to muslim man taxi driver. He told me how he had worked very hard to get to germany...working 100 hours a week for some years driving his taxi to give his wife and children a better life than they could have in pakistan. Pretty much as soon as she got to german she ran off with another man. He was a very sad man as he told me that after paying child support he felt he had no chance of ever finding another wife. He was simply too poor for any woman to be interested in him.

African muslim men say the same happens to them. I was talking to an african muslim taxi diver and he told me that MANY of his friends who had brought their wives to Germany had them run off as soon as they got there. He said he would never bring his wife to Germany for that reason. My driver in Ghana recently told me he would NEVER take his wife anywhere else as it is well known as soon as you show a woman a better life she will run off after it. He told me flat out that he is taught women have no loyalty to a man.

One of the things I have learned is that women have no loyalty to men. As soon as the woman has something she perceives is a better opportunity she will dump the man and run after the opportunity like a child runs after a butterfly. This is ALL WOMEN Renata. Trying to say it is not you or not women in your culture will not fly with us any more. We simply do not believe you as you are not denouncing the women who do exactly what you say is not in your culture.

If I were you? I would organise women in your culture to start to speak out against the SPECIFIC WOMEN who are doing these things and make sure that others know what you are saying. When MEN speak out we are HATED ON. We can lose our jobs for the mere on line criticism of a woman. Why should that be.

If you want a start you can come over to CAF. I will give you a guest womans sign on. And you can have your say about these man hating women.

http://www.crimesagainstfathers.com/aus ... fault.aspx

For example. What would you have to say about my wife committing perjury, kidnapping, extortion, theft and child abuse and ALL FEMALE MEMBERS OF PARLIAMENT condoning this crime? And virtually ALL Australian women condoning this crime?

If you want to be seen as a "better woman" then you might want to go over there and denounce these women as "giving all women a bad name".

You see Renata. When women stay silent when they KNOW crimes are being committed you destroy your own credibility.

How is it that in ALL OF AUSTRALIA there has only been ONE WOMAN who has actually tried to help me? And then you say "well I am not like that, I come from a different culture"...but women from your culture are EXACTLY like that given the chance. It is YOUR credibility on the line. YOU have to PROVE that you are worthy of trust. You will not be trusted just because you say "I am not like that" or "all women are not like that" because us men just have too much evidence otherwise.

Further...in Germany the Germany family courts have ruled that religion has no place in the courts....so much for Islamic marriage in Germany.
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Jester
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Post by Jester »

Renata wrote: sushiman you are referring to our Primal instinct, yes I understand.

In females their primal instincts are to choose the strongest, best hunter/best provider/protector because they want the good genes as you say ... in 2012 this equates to the richest or most athletic. You guys always demonize these ways. But as you mentioned above it's nature'.
Interesting isn't it.
So your nature is okay but ours isn't?
Jester
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Post by Jester »

Renata wrote:PeterAndrewNolan you say "when a man IS faithful he is given no credit and no benefit for being so." this is in your culture & it's also your personal experience unfortunately. She didn't believe in your fidelity or trust you.

In my culture
if one is unfaithful they are looked upon poorly. It's a shameful act... grounds for divorce. We have nothing like irreconcilable differences as a reason for divorce. We have, Adultery, Abuse & Abandonment, that's it. If someone wants out of a marriage any other reason than what I mentioned, it won't stand in court.
You see the difference.
What culture is that?
Renata
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Post by Renata »

I work in Turkey currently. I was born to a latin mother & an indian father & I grew up in the Caribbean on an Island called Trinidad & Tobago. We follow Hindu culture at home. It's an interesting little place if anyone's ever been there. I lived in the UK for 2 yrs on that work holiday maker visa, it was the first time I left home,.. I had a blast there but I also kind of understand your feelings about western women... I did have run-ins with a few of them at work & when out with friends etc. while I was in the UK. This was in 2004-2006. Trinidad is very cosmopolitan for such a small island (approx. 1 million people) & our Prime Minister is a woman but she's quite humble regardless of the post she's holds. No country is perfect though, as we do have problems with race & all types of crime.

PeterAndrewNolan you are right to be upset & not trusting of us... the crimes are stacked because the law supports them all the way... & the media feeds them with poison... this was bound to happen.
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C.J.
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Post by C.J. »

The system works, because there is a purpose for it. Men go polygamous to ensure survival of their race. Women accept a man's power through sexual and social activities, so they can support their race and themselves.

There's no benefit to monogamy, and it sucks. Polygamy is most beneficial, but some societies have social failsafes to protect people from this natural progression of human activity....whatever it may be.
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