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Unfair American female standards -- it's not an illusion.

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Unfair American female standards -- it's not an illusion.

Postby Cyrus » Tue Jun 26, 2012 8:27 pm

When I look back at the women I've had even short affairs with, I realize very few have been American. It's not that I don't try with my fellow American comrades, but it's that it almost always turns into disaster.

I've had great meaningful, even short-term relationships with women from: Brazil, the U.K., Vietnam, Italy, and France. I'm not getting nearly as much action as the typical jock in the U.S. dating circuit, but that's only because it's rare that I meet foreigners. My love life is typically on stand-still until the rare occasion that I meet a foreign exchange student, or I am traveling. That's when things heat up and I have options among women.

One exception have been strippers. Strangely enough, exotic dancers are really into me. Maybe because I don't fit the stereotype. They often ask if I am European. I've had a couple of them downright obsessed with me. I love these very sexual girls, but the problem is they have a lot of emotional baggage outside the club.

Anyway, the following issues have been raised when I am faced with the unforgiving judgment of American women:

Penis size: I have a six inch penis. After some measurements, I found out I am exactly in the "average" bracket. Average isn't good enough, and I've had American women complain that my junk is too small. A small percentage of guys have these large ten-inch porn-star dicks, and even if they're only 10% of the population, American women will complain if the guy they're with isn't part of this minority. I don't think it has anything to do with getting more pleasure from larger penises, it's just these women are taught to have a cutthroat go-for-the-best attitude regarding their partners, and they want to be able to brag.

Height: I am 5'9, which is the average American height. This is not enough. I've had women complain or reject me because I am too short. I now wear shoes with lifts that bring me up to 5'11, and I don't care if this is dishonest because the standards are unfair and a guy needs SOME type of solution. The reason for this problem is because American women want the guys they see in movies, and shitty TV shows like "Sex and the City" reinforce stereotypes that dating men under 6'0 is "low value". While most cultures are not so shallow to take media representations seriously, Americans of both sexes do, and it makes life hard.

Body type: I'm about 155 lbs which is - you guessed it - "average" - but since "average" is never good enough and things like personality, virtues, how good of a man you are, etc are not factored into shallow American sexual standards, my body type leaves me at a disadvantage. I need to be 180-190lbs of mostly MUSCLE. This requires obscene amounts of time at the gym.

Money: I don't have a lot of it because I do freelance work and have my own business and I focus more on lifestyle versus wealth. Metropolitan women will, however, interrogate you about your income to see if you're making six-figures or not, sometimes as early as the first date.

Now here's the kicker:

I know a dude who fits into all of the positive factors. He's over 6 ft, total muscles, has a great paying job, and he exclusively dates asian women and doesn't waste his time with Americans. Maybe his junk is small? Or, maybe it's that even when you ARE all of these factors, American women still won't be satisfied because that's when they realize their standards are not actually making them happy, and when they get the guy they THINK they want, they're faced with crushing disappointment, and even the high-status guys that American ladies want get sick of this bullshit.

AMERICAN MALE STANDARDS

I wanted to flip this on its head and talk about certain American male standards. It's not as bad in my opinion as what women put guys through in this country, but it's still symptomatic of the same wacked relationship standards.

Typically, guys who meet media-based ideas of what's sexy and have options will impose sometimes ridiculous standards on the women they meet. This is less common among the "average" guys who will take anything they can get.

A major factor is weight. I've seen guys call a woman "fat' because she's slightly plump, a la Marilyn Monroe, but otherwise beautiful.

Breast size. Who cares about breast size? Come on. Small or big, they're usually fine. When a guy rejects a woman because she's a B-cup, it's the same shit as a woman rejecting a guy for an average-sized dick.

Ageism: a woman who's 29-years-old is not "old". You can't exclusively want 19-year-olds your whole life.

All of these factors attribute to women being very self conscious about all of these issues, often resorting to plastic surgery or starvation to lose weight. Meanwhile, terrible standards women impose on men results in guys who are immasculated with low self-esteem and who are overly critical of their own "flaws".

IN SUMMARY

It's not misogynistic to make these observations, it has nothing to do with disliking women, it's about disliking American culture. I don't agree with everything Wu says, but I've always stood by this site because it's pointing out something that's always been obvious to myself and PLENTY of guys I know, and there's not many resources to talk about this problem.

The short-term solution is to date abroad. I'm amazed that even a country like the U.K. is "normal" by comparison to the U.S. There's something seriously weird about how Americans perceive one another when standards are based 100% on material bullshit, and cultures with any sort of age or maturity have grown past this.

The long-term solution is for American women to recognize the reason their love lives SUCK is because of self-imposed attitudes about love and sex that are wrought with personal insecurities and materialistic ideas created by our obsession with the media, TV shows, advertising, consumerism, obsession with peer-approval, etc.

I've known some American women who are outside of this Matrix, but they're rare. They're women who are not afraid to date a lot of different guys by giving everybody a chance instead of focusing on shallow appearance based issues. They become intrigued by what kind of man you are versus your image, and they're more interested in what you have to say and your "vibe" versus what you look like, which is exactly the way women across the rest of the world treat guys.

I'll talk more about this on another post i'm writing following this one.
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Postby Contrarian Expatriate » Tue Jun 26, 2012 10:08 pm

American women are invisible to me as women.

Save yourself the trouble and focus on foreign women.
Feel free to visit my sites and to leave your respected words of wisdom:

http://thedeclineofmyamerica.blogspot.com/

http://www.youtube.com/user/ContrarianExpatriate
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Postby fuzzy_corleone » Sun Jul 01, 2012 11:47 pm

Contrarian Expatriate wrote:American women are invisible to me as women.

Save yourself the trouble and focus on foreign women.


Amen brother.

Admittedly I do impose some of those 'ridiculous' standards to some of the women I date. Essentially I just want a women who exercises and eats healthy. To me physical appearance is just as important as personality.
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Re: Unfair American female standards -- it's not an illusion

Postby eurobrat » Mon Jul 02, 2012 12:13 am

....
Last edited by eurobrat on Tue May 21, 2013 1:27 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby magnum » Wed Jul 04, 2012 8:36 am

I've had a vary ruff relationship with "superficial" standards.

I've come to the conclusion you should expect no less than what you are, BUT you should expect no MORE than you are.


I think this is a vary fair thing to say, however, I can see a lot of guys ditching this thought process the second they get 5 women above what they think personal "looks" level is hitting on them the second they get off us soil.


I've never been to another country, but I'll tell you what.... I've done everything I can to get "cut" I've had the six pack, and been ripped, it made not one BIT of a difference, you see....women though attracted to jocks, don't date them only because they are buff and hot, they do it because everyone around them can SEE them with the jock, status.

As ripped and in shape as I have been, I've never been big enough to look buff in cloths, just ripped at the beach, and the result was....almost no difference with women, after 6 days a week at the gym for months and months and years, nothing, not unless you put on at the vary least 10lbs of extra muscle, and that is a vary hard process requiring you to gain a little fat with muscle and then diet and burn the extra fat away once you FINALLY gain it, not to mention it takes a natural body builder a year to gain 8 lbs of muscle on average, so you do the math.


I think it's too much to ask the general population of men to not only gain 20 extra lbs of muscle, but then cut down to 10% or less body fat, when they will only ever have to run and ALMOST eat healthy to be "attractive" and that's with minimal effort as I'm sure the male standard for women isn't as extreme when it comes to athleticism.


Women judge you on your entertainment value, and it wouldn't be unfair, as you have to have some kind of chemistry, but when they expect you to make them laugh every other 30 seconds, it's asking for a little much.

yet they will find it perfectly acceptable to stare at you with this bitch expression as if they are waiting for you to perform some service of entertainment they paid for, when you probably paid for dinner in the first place.

chemistry is hard to find with a judge having probably condemned you already sitting across from you with the "look"

As for penis size, I do believe it's a vary real subject to bring up.

Simple, don't date a woman that has slept with 400 men, as they wont expect the big one nor require it.

I personally want a virgin woman, the only down side a lot of "experienced" posters have said, is a lot of them don't know what to do or how to act, but I'd imagine if you both love one another and are physically attracted to the other it wouldn't much matter.


I'm a moral man my self so I see no point in beating around the bush.

If your looking to get laid, abandon all delusions of honor and morality, and go buy a hooker, they'll cost you less in the end, emotionally and financially, and instantly take away all the power all the women who treat you like dirt hold over you.

end of responds rant.
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Postby Falcon » Wed Jul 04, 2012 8:47 am

American men also have plenty of unfair standards. There's a lot of that in this forum.

American men and women are both born and raised in the same culture, with the same mores and values.

See http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=13598
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Postby Bane » Wed Jul 04, 2012 12:16 pm

Falcon wrote:American men also have plenty of unfair standards. There's a lot of that in this forum.

American men and women are both born and raised in the same culture, with the same mores and values.

See http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=13598


^This
"A dreamer is one who can only find his way by moonlight, and his punishment is that he sees the dawn before the rest of the world." -Oscar Wilde

"Invincibility is in oneself, vulnerability is in the opponent" -Sun Tzu
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Re: Unfair American female standards -- it's not an illusion

Postby Cyrus » Fri Jul 06, 2012 11:19 am

eurobrat wrote:
Cyrus wrote:Penis size: I have a six inch penis. After some measurements, I found out I am exactly in the "average" bracket. Average isn't good enough, and I've had American women complain that my junk is too small. A small percentage of guys have these large ten-inch porn-star dicks, and even if they're only 10% of the population, American women will complain if the guy they're with isn't part of this minority. I don't think it has anything to do with getting more pleasure from larger penises, it's just these women are taught to have a cutthroat go-for-the-best attitude regarding their partners, and they want to be able to brag.


Was this section really necessary?


Yeah, it was.
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