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What did Winston ever do to you? Stop being mean and cruel to him. It's not right.
You're all just angry, miserable, and hateful people. You should be ashamed of your behavior. Are you proud of your words? You're pathetic.
I am a vengeance demon. Cruelty is my power.
Neither do I. The attacks are illogical and go beyond constructive criticism. They are also a waste of time and try to bring me down. People should hang around those who empower you, who add to your energy, who make you feel good about yourself. These attacks do nothing of the sort.
Yes the attackers are miserable, but it is no different then a school environment where bullies pick on a weak target, esp one that exposes himself with pictures and complains a lot. People also have a psychological need to try to put someone below them, to elevate themselves on the pecking order. It's the act of a damaged ego for sure.
Also, if a teacher in a classroom allows free speech and lets all the kids pick on him/her, then many kids will take advantage of that. It gives them a sense of power and control that they don't have in other areas of their life. I think that might be what's going on here too.
In addition, I think people with self-hatred need a target to vent their self-hatred on, to relieve the pressure off themselves.
It's all very dysfunctional, and the product of a dysfunctional society. Of course, I have some dysfunctional attributes as well.
Check out the latest posts in our blog The Happier Abroaders.
Don't forget my HA Grand Ebook and Dating Sites!
"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
Winston is a hero, end of story. Those who dish out destructive criticism to him are only making a statement about themselves and accumulating negative mental karma in the process which will make their lives far more difficult than needs be.
I was about to start a thread about some of the good things that Winston brought. I think to be fair Winston is showing his life through his web-site and blog. Some of the stuff he writes is confusing and I think this is where people might criticize him. At the same time I agree attacking Winston is not fair .
I wasn't going to post in this thread because of numb nuts (OP), but I wanted to say this...
Yes, Winston is one of the main reasons why I am moving abroad. He is a hero to many men, however, just because he is the founder/administrator of this forum doesn't exempt him from criticism and most of it is constructive. I never said I was perfect. I am not arrogant. I have been misunderstood my entire life by many people, so this forum is no better.
I find it hilarious that all the men saying "yeah, it's unfair that Winston is criticized" is pretty stupid to me. All of us get criticized on a daily basis. I got teased since I was age 11 until I was about 22 years old. I learned from my critics. I wouldn't be who I am today without being teased. I am a much better man now.
Winston is a grown ass man. He is nearly 40 years old. He is not 9 years old. We don't need to baby him. He needs to learn how to take negative comments. He just wants positive feedback. All of you that posted in this thread are just feeding his ego and feeding his need to be treated like a child. You are reinforcing his behavior is is accustomed to. 'It's okay, Winston, we will treat you like a child again."
Winston shouldn't have double standards placed on him because he is the administrator. I do give Winston credit for more things. I don't see any threads about other members. "Leave Rock Alone." Anyway, I think Winston gets his dick sucked and his ass kissed far too much. You are just feeding his ego. That's what he wants the most. You are feeding into his victim mentality thinking the world is against him. All the things in his life isn't his fault, but other peoples fault. I don't like that.
Me and other members do criticize Winston, but most of it is constructive. Most of us give him great advice, but he never admits he has flaws or he is wrong. It would be different if he was more humble. He is not humble at all. That's the main problem and the fact he attacks the messenger even though what we said wasn't even an insult.
I don't respect a lot of things Winston does in his personal life like abandoning his son, but his website and forum are great. I will always respect Winston for waking me up. I will say that until my fingers fall off, but Winston is also a representation of HA. He is the one saying dating is easier overseas outside of the US, but he is complaining every other day about Taiwan, which is not outside of the US. It is contradictory. The mission of this site is not very clear. He is the founder of this "movement" and he should lead by example. Another issue I have.
I was going to make a thread about this, but I will say it here. Men on this forum are not freethinkers. If someone says something that you don't like, we are called manginas or other pretty names. Freethinkers are supposed to have their own ideals, values and morals. We are not sheep. Men in this movement have a hive mentality. Plain and simple. This is like a 4H Club and everyone isn't an individual. It is more of a collective group. If a man posts pictures of his American girlfriends and he says he has no problems in the US, you all would tell him to f**k off. Don't get me started on women that post on this site. Women are not allowed in this special clubhouse because she has a vagina.
Anyway, Winston is a unique person, but he is not some person that gets exempt from criticism. I will apologize to Winston for being so hard on him, but the way he needs to take the negative with the positive. He wants the world to be sunshine and lollipops, but it's not that way. If Winston never posted his life so publically or complain about places he lives (where he can actually live unlike most of us here) then I wouldn't have much of an issue with any of this.
1. He has a lot of confidence in himself that I wish I had. I never really had much confidence because I was teased almost everyday in school for being a nerd. My avatar is a picture taken in 2012 of myself. At least Winston has high self-esteem. I still have esteem problems at 27.
2. Most forum administrators don't spend nearly as much time on their forums as Winston does. Winston is very personable and he is like Mr. Rogers lol. Everyone's friend. That is a great trait to have on a forum. It builds trust with your members. You can PM Winston about anything and he will respond.
I hope this is a good enough post. Oh yeah, it's the way Winston says things that makes us mad at him. He wants advice on how he looks in his winter clothes, but he won't take that advice. Just because me and others say things about Winston doesn't mean we are miserable and angry. I find that idea ridiculous.
Last edited by Fenix on Wed Jul 11, 2012 11:07 pm, edited 2 times in total.
This is the kind of respectful criticism that a true friend delivers.
I have been working at being nice to Winston for a couple weeks now. Winston's victim mentality drives me crazy and its easy for me to let loose on him when he is that way...
"Never underestimate the predictability of stupidity"!!!
I have mixed feelings about this. On one hand I do believe that criticism of others usually doesn't work, or at least falls on deaf ears.
But most of the criticism of Winston is on threads that he started like "Winston's new clothes..." and asks for people's frank opinions. Or the threads where he postulates some bit of strangeness, asks for opinions, then is pissed off when people disagree with him.
Most telling are the threads which someone else begins but the poster soon finds himself defending himself against attacks from Winston. And the attacks are often not logical (as is Winston's credo); they are often personal and nasty.
When you own a forum, by definition you have a lot of power (ability to suspend or ban members, etc,). IMO an owner therefore has to be very careful with the appearance that he is using his position to attack others. Winston should state his opinion and then get out of the way, instead of insisting that he dominate the forum. And he certainly can't dominate the discussions and then get pissed cause people are attacking him.
Winston, you're the reason why we're all here. Because of you, I have met so many fantastic people (a few of them face-to-face) and had so many wonderful interactions with them. You're a hero and inspiration to many of us, and you entertain us with a lot of your antics too. I've mostly tried to defend you in this forum, except in http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=14853 when I picked on you a little too much. My sincere apologies for that - It should have been more constructive criticism. You and I both make a lot of mistakes. We're all human. What makes us strong is how we learn from our mistakes.
Winston is already doing a really, really wonderful job here. Sure, his behavior can be quite wacky sometimes, but he runs a highly functional website that is well written, organized, and maintained. Many people who are usually less wacky are very bad at running websites and contributing useful content, let alone maintaining them.
I truly admire Winston's fair, libertarian way of running this forum. Other admins would respond to personal attacks through massive bans, which Winston doesn't do. Ideas which he doesn't like aren't deleted like crazy. Instead, through free speech, they go down the train through constructive dialogue and discussion.
Keep up the great work Winston.
I agree with Phx and davewe on this matter.
Friends or people of integrity will tell you, or should tell you, their honest opinion or thoughts. EVEN IF IT HURTS!
Friends or people of integrity will give you, or should give you, good, well-intentioned advice when you ask for it. EVEN IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR IT!
Who IS Winston for that matter to ask MY opinion or MY advice and THEN try to guilt me, shame me, or attack me into retracting it because it hurts his feelings?
Winston should know by now that this WEBSITE isn't and shouldn't exist solely for his own validation or ego-stroking.
I THOUGHT this website had a message! I guess I didn't think that the message is "Winston Wu, PLEASE LOVE ME!"
Besides, I "admired" Winston for taking the plunge and traveling outside the U.S. for love (though it turns out it was really for cheap sex), BUT what has he done lately?
You want to be "THE MAN" Winston? You want everyone to play to your ego, tell you how GREAT you are, tell you how ATTRACTIVE you are, TELL you how "UNIQUE" you are?
Here is what you should do:
QUIT wallowing in your self-pity, QUIT looking, hoping, dreaming, obsessing for your "internal" image of self to conform to the "external" image you project and get off your ass and get "HAPPIER ABROAD" again!
Until you do..........
Get used to being just another aging man screaming at people to admire his "PAST" deeds while he mumbles to himself in public and urinates on himself!
"What we are seeing in this headless misandry is a grand display of the Tyranny of the Underdog: "I am a wretchedly longstanding victim;therefore I own no burden of adult accountability, nor need to honor any restraint against my words and actions. In fact, all efforts to restrain me are only further proof of my oppressed condition."
"It is the most perfect trump-card against accountable living ever devised."
Blah, blah, blah.
Please, go write a novel.
I've had some grimly replies & posts from a few men on here, but it doesn't bother me. If they were to say it to my face or shout at me in person then it would hit a few strings.
It's all online so no damage done.
Winston I think some of the guys on here just poke fun at you for the heck of it & you also need to realise they're gonna troll you especially when u post threads about yourself & ask their opinions. Remember there's always a negative & a positive answer to every question. There's always two answers to every question yes & no.. you're not always gonna get a yes'
- It's easy to give, when you know what it's like to have nothing. -
- Develop a backbone, not a wishbone. -
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