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Is it that we just want to feel superior ?

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Is it that we just want to feel superior ?

Postby chanta76 » Fri Aug 10, 2012 8:06 am

I had a conversation with this girl. I told her my views about living in America and some of my issues with this country. I mention to her that I dealt with racism and cannot stand the superficiality of this country. And how America has no value and maybe even no soul.

I told her if I had a million dollars I would relocate somewhere in Asia maybe South Korea since that is my birth place and take it from there. I don't have to deal with racism in Korea but I know that I would have to deal with other problems since there is no perfect country.

She told me something that made me think. She thinks that I just want to feel special or superior. I mean I did mention to her I thought about trying out the Philippines but when she mention to feel superior it made me think.

I had to ask myself. Do I really have it that bad in USA? I have a home, car, and some money. I'm not rich but I am working. I do have some close knit friends and caring family. I have options that other people do not have. Dating...it can be tough but I can get an American girl if I really really try. Some of the American girls I dated were nuts but I notice that women in general are nut but the girls overseas tend to be more traditional and take care of the man better.

But I ask myself...than what does she mean by feeling superior? I remember some of the expats I met in South Korea..I would ask them why come to Korea or Asia. I get different answers but there was one common answer. They want to feel special because back home they were social outcast. They want to use their whiteness as an advantage to get notice more and I think deep down inside they have this false sense of superiority over the Asian people.

Being a white person in Asia gave them some advantage. Maybe they got notice more ..or the white guy image help them get girls more. It's like we have threads about "Which countries are friendly to black guys or white guys or asian guys".

It's like we want to feel special or maybe even superior. I mean why do white guys or well off East Asian men go to the Philippines. You feel better about yourself .. I realize that to some degree that does play a factor. It's like a post colonialism mentality.


I have to ask myself ....sure America is f***ed up ..but so is South Korea..if you only look at the bad side and more or less for any other country. But you want to be in a country where you feel notice more or special more.

Look at Winston rant on Taiwan...Why is he ranting? because girls ignore him there. If girls notice him ..he wouldn't rant at all. He doesn't feel special in that country. But I ask myself....what had I done to improve myself in USA?

I mean in order to be notice more or be superior you have to accomplish things to be somebody. Is it that we all just want the easy way out?

Honestly in America ...yeah American women suck..but I seen American guys get lucky and have a great great girl friend. I seen guys doing really well and they never think about relocating because they have it good.

That conversation made me think more....
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Postby manly5000 » Fri Aug 10, 2012 11:02 am

I don't give two shits about feeling superior. All I want is to fall in love with a GOOD girl who won't leave me eventually because she gets bored or, as my ex put it the day before our divorce, because she's "never known anything else except for me". Not to mention, women here don't like me and I don't like them, their personalities, their attitudes, mannerisms, or wants out of life. What's more, this asinine excuse for a "culture" in the USA is something I'm completely at odds with -- always have been, always will be. Never in my life have I felt that I fit in here.

I can have a job, a house, and a car (not that I want one anymore) almost anywhere I want to go in this world. The only thing I care about is going someplace that doesn't encourage women to try to be men or destroy their own families, so I can raise one of my own, and be happy.

f**k superiority... I just want to be happy. And I will never, ever be happy here.
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Re: Is it that we just want to feel superior ?

Postby eurobrat » Fri Aug 10, 2012 12:40 pm

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Re: Is it that we just want to feel superior ?

Postby PeterAndrewNolan » Fri Aug 10, 2012 12:47 pm

chanta76 wrote:She thinks that I just want to feel special or superior.

chanta76,
it is called "projection". Pretty much EVERY time a woman tells you what she thinks YOU are doing it is actually because that is what SHE is doing.

Western women are VERY racist against asian or eastern european women.

My fav#1 is supermodel quality. 167cm tall and 50kgs and runs a marathon in under 4 hours. She is elagant, beautiful, reasonably intelligent, very down to earth, hard working, playful, good sense of humour if a little dry, and a caring loving woman who is kind to all she meets.

What do western women call her? Eastern euro whore is only after my money.

Well? Was my wife not a whore who was only after my money? If money was not important to my wife why did she accept 95% of the family assets in what she knows to be a crime.

Just remember. Western women HATE women from asia and eastern europe who are still feminine and still lovely to be with.

One of the reasons I could NEVER live in the west again is that I would have to do without the company of women. It is not that I NEED the company of women....but I happen to really like women and I enjoy their company. They are very different to men and that difference increases a mans experience of life. I also like spending time with men with no women present so that we can talk about things that men do not talk about in front of women.

So....think about that for a while.....western women HATE the loveliest of eastern european women....and since you are pretty new here...the woman I mentioned helped me save my life when I was suicidal....and western women STILL hate on her for nothing more than being my good friend.
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Postby pete98146 » Fri Aug 10, 2012 5:32 pm

manly5000 wrote:I don't give two shits about feeling superior. All I want is to fall in love with a GOOD girl who won't leave me eventually because she gets bored or, as my ex put it the day before our divorce, because she's "never known anything else except for me". Not to mention, women here don't like me and I don't like them, their personalities, their attitudes, mannerisms, or wants out of life. What's more, this asinine excuse for a "culture" in the USA is something I'm completely at odds with -- always have been, always will be. Never in my life have I felt that I fit in here.

I can have a job, a house, and a car (not that I want one anymore) almost anywhere I want to go in this world. The only thing I care about is going someplace that doesn't encourage women to try to be men or destroy their own families, so I can raise one of my own, and be happy.

f**k superiority... I just want to be happy. And I will never, ever be happy here.


Well put Manly. Having been married to an Asian lady for many years I can tell you that my "need to be superior" is way down on the list of things that I am seeking. Do you remember the Thumb Wrestling game you used to play as a kid? This example epitomizes your typical Amerian marriage. American men simply want a normal, loving, non-competitive and nurturing relationship.

If anything I had a need to avoid a wife that had the "need to feel superior." Big difference isn't it?
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Postby S_Parc » Fri Aug 10, 2012 6:22 pm

chanta76, for the past decade, I've been feeling superior to other Americans in my own locale. And thus, I don't need to generate those feelings when I'm abroad in Brazil, Singapore/Malaysia, or Thailand. Overseas, I'd rather be a laid back person, accepting of everyone.

If you listen to classic rock a/o have seen 'Reservoir Dogs', I think this track speaks well of our current society, "Stuck In The Middle With You" by Stealers Wheel. Yes, there are in fact, clowns to the left and to the right of anyone who doesn't buy into the BS.

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=OMAIsqvTh7g[/youtube]
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Postby green1976 » Fri Aug 10, 2012 8:18 pm

Does i have to feel ashamed because some ladies treat me very well in SEA and of course as a farang, i'm seen differently than a random guy from there?No
Does i have to feel superior to this people and treat them like shit?No

It's a balance to have for keeping things in perspective.

Of course i've experience some foreigners who thought being superior to their host country population,but soon at one point somebody will put them in place.

Most of them take advantage because they have money and it's true that some folk will be very "kind" to them but that just a way to milk them more.

In SEA many ladies cannot understand how can i be single in my country,how women doesn't find me attractive and so on..
Even if i try to explain them why,they won't understand the causes.

By the way i don't have any frustration witnessing everyday guys having girlfriends in France and around me.
I don't want to be at their position.
They accept the rules in the Western world and i don't accept them.
In some ways i feel superior to all these guys as i understand the f***ing system they abide and that they are the last wagon of the train.
Anyway it's their life,i have my life and i think for all those here who rant without ending against AW,you should move on and build something abroad with the women you think suit you.

Finally i have a lot more choice in Thailand so having a girlfriend in France would not change that fact.

In Thailand i can be some kind of price to have,for economical reason but also because i'm still young and in a good shape.

The girl who is with me have this pressure on her because she knows that i have huge choice so in some way i have a very good position.
That wouldn't be the case in France or in the Western world.

It would be a mistake to feel that i'm superior and acting like a moron.
They get a lot more of my respect than women at home who have this entitlement and bitch egocentric attitude.

I just accept how it is to have some kind of special treatment in Thailand but better to be well treated than to be treated like a shit.
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Postby chanta76 » Fri Aug 10, 2012 11:24 pm

Hello Peter,

it is called "projection". Pretty much EVERY time a woman tells you what she thinks YOU are doing it is actually because that is what SHE is doing.

Western women are VERY racist against asian or eastern european women.



I have to add the girl I was having a conversation with was a girl in South Korea. I didn't want to go into details with the person or reveal too much information. She is not Americanize or western girl but a KOrean girl from Korea.

I told her about my issues growing up in USA. She doesn't mind me living in Korea but I told her if I am able to I wouldn't mind living in the Philippines. I think it's because Korean people have this superiority complex over Philippine people. Even in Asia there is intra racism between the different Asian race. It's not uncommon for a Korean guy to go to the Philippines or Vietnam to hook up with local girls using their social economics to their advantage.

Go ahead and marry an American girl and lets see how long you can go until you loose those things...

C'mon it will be a game, kind of like Russian Roulette...


If I do every get married. Prenuptial agreement is a must f. If my future wife does not want to sign that is the deal breaker.



[/quote]
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Postby chanta76 » Fri Aug 10, 2012 11:31 pm

I maybe the minority here. I keep hearing marry an Asian girl from Asia they are a better deal than American women. Maybe they are...but I think it depends on which Asian country your talking about....at the same time being an Asian man and visiting some of the Asian countries and trading notes with other Asian guys who married local native Asian girls...I hear different stories.

I knew a Korean American guy who married a native local Korean girl and now they are divorce. I knew a Japanese American guy who married a Japanese girl from Japan...and now they are divorce.

Even I have a girl friend in South Korea. Not a western or Americanize girl but we have some issues in the relationship. Is she better than a American girls that I dated in the past...it depends.

My korean girl friend is diehard. In other words she won't quit in this long distance relationship BUT she does act immature and have childish behavior. (Hmm....this kind of reminds me of Winston rant on his ex-girlfriend).

I think with local Asian girls they are devoted and traditional in the sense that they will cook and clean for you. And yes give you great sex..BUT this is all before marriage..I'm not married yet so I don't know if they change. I hear stories from my cousins in South Korea that tell me that after marriage they do change. Perhaps all women are just like that.
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Postby C.J. » Sat Aug 11, 2012 12:41 am

Everybody ain't compatible with everybody. Which is exactly why you see "successful expats" still moving 'round the world.

If it was that easy to go to Asia, and find your soulmate, I don't think ANY men would be in the US.
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Re: Is it that we just want to feel superior ?

Postby momopi » Sat Aug 11, 2012 1:55 am

chanta76 wrote:She told me something that made me think. She thinks that I just want to feel special or superior. I mean I did mention to her I thought about trying out the Philippines but when she mention to feel superior it made me think.
I had to ask myself. Do I really have it that bad in USA? I have a home, car, and some money. I'm not rich but I am working. I do have some close knit friends and caring family. I have options that other people do not have. Dating...it can be tough but I can get an American girl if I really really try. Some of the American girls I dated were nuts but I notice that women in general are nut but the girls overseas tend to be more traditional and take care of the man better.
But I ask myself...than what does she mean by feeling superior? I remember some of the expats I met in South Korea..I would ask them why come to Korea or Asia. I get different answers but there was one common answer. They want to feel special because back home they were social outcast. They want to use their whiteness as an advantage to get notice more and I think deep down inside they have this false sense of superiority over the Asian people.
Being a white person in Asia gave them some advantage. Maybe they got notice more ..or the white guy image help them get girls more. It's like we have threads about "Which countries are friendly to black guys or white guys or Asian guys".
It's like we want to feel special or maybe even superior. I mean why do white guys or well off East Asian men go to the Philippines. You feel better about yourself .. I realize that to some degree that does play a factor. It's like a post colonialism mentality.


It depends on the person's character. There are those with superior abilities who doesn't need to feel superior or look down on others, and then there are those who made some money and can't resist showing off.

Social outcasts tend to have the "sour grape syndrome" and pick up nitch hobbies/interests in a poor attempt to feel superior to others. A social outcast who is not invited to watch games with the "in" crowd may adopt the sour grape stance of "I don't like the game anyway", or accuse those who are "in" as being superficial or fake. In the end, no matter what he thinks or feels, he's still on the out while others who are "in" are having a great time. Loners are not more sane, they're just lonely, desperate, sad, and angry. It goes from "nobody likes me!" to "(insert country) women sucks!" in a repetitive circle. A normal person would vent and move on, but someone with issues would just go around and around in their emotional circle. The Chinese have a saying "screwing with a bull's horn" (at the sharp end), a rough English translation would be "bashing your head against a brick wall". There are people with OCD compulsions who keeps bashing their heads against a brick wall instead of walking around it.

Back in the 1980s, I was involved with the RPG (role-playing game) scene, Sci-Fi scene (Dr. Who in Tom Baker days), Rocky Horror, Ren Fair, Japanese Anime, and couple local bands. At conventions you get to see all kinds of people, there are those who are popular "in" crowd who hangs out with pretty cosplay girls, and then there's the loner, fat/overweight geek types who picked the hobby so he can convince himself that he's intellectually superior. And then there's the oddball cross dressers who actually have TG tendencies but didn't have the guts to go on HRT (hormone replacement therapy) and get surgery. This is actually quite sad because many of them wait so long until they're older, to the point where even if they go on HRT and get the surgery, they won't look good anymore due to age.

As a nitch hobby becomes mainstream and popular, the social outcasts who previously were in the hobby suddenly lose their ability to feel special and unique. This is one reason why some people who are into nitch hobbies and interests just want to "talk about it". In effect, successful promotion of their nitch interest means losing their self-promoted status. i.e. if mainstream TV and magazines popularize the discussion on "fake moon landings", then suddenly the self-promoted internet expert on "fake moon landings" becomes just another chump. Whenever I hear "truth finding" and the person just blabs and never gets off his ass to do something to get real results, it raises the "chump flag".

As men who go overseas to countries with lower socioeconomic status, you can judge their character by what they say. Those who were looked down upon at home, turn around and look down on locals in foreign countries, are men with poor character and should be excluded from your circle of friends. Worse, those with the mentality of "I bought you" (foreign bride), or want to go abroad so he can better "control" his women by threats of violence, have serious issues and doesn't know how to be a person. If a person has issues, going abroad and getting laid doesn't necessarily cure the person of those issues, because eventually their issues will resurface and they'd go back to head bashing against a brick wall.

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Re: Is it that we just want to feel superior ?

Postby S_Parc » Sat Aug 11, 2012 2:23 am

momopi wrote:In the end, no matter what he thinks or feels, he's still on the out while others who are "in" are having a great time.


Momopi, I'd like to be diplomatic on the above statement but I think it's a load of crock.

The so-called in-crowd, (and BTW, there are many of them, as I've made the social circuits in corporate, cultural, ethnic, and spiritual clubhouses) have such a need to belong & fit in, and use alcohol and other means to generate some sense of belonging/enjoyment, that they are, in fact, pathetic. Just watch, if/when they get laid off or lose their homes and see how 'adjusted' they really are.

The reality of the situation is that I'd rather be a social outcast then fit in but unfortunately, due to the business climate of America, I have to put on an act and pretend to fit in, to collect business cards, etc, to play the game.
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Postby Truthville » Sat Aug 11, 2012 2:39 am

I'm not interested in Asian women because of any silly "superior" attitude.

I'm interested in Asian women because I have always found them MORE attractive then my OWN(white) women.

I believe that IF you go into a relationship trying to be "superior" to your mate, all that does is create a tedious, vicious cycle of "I'm on top...No you are NOT, Yes, I AM!"

Sadly, I have seen quite a few Western relationships like this. (Shrug) To each his/her own BUT really don't want that for myself. Seems to me to be a hellish kind of existence.

The person I am talking to know BELIEVES in communication and mutual respect. We have a few problems BUT we work them out. I TRIED for years to find a relationship like this here in the U.S but never could find it. SO........I decided to look elsewhere.

BTW momopi?

You said:



Loners are not more sane, they're just lonely, desperate, sad, and angry.


I would actually be considered a "loner" BUT I do not fit any of that criteria except perhaps the lonely part. I also rarely think I am superior to most people, I am just different, always have been and always will be. PERHAPS I just never found the "tribe" I was supposed to be a part of? Who knows, some people are "loners" because they can't or won't embrace what the majority espouses because it isn't what they believe in or it isn't they way the feel they should live their lives.
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Re: Is it that we just want to feel superior ?

Postby momopi » Sat Aug 11, 2012 3:26 am

S_Parc wrote:The so-called in-crowd, (and BTW, there are many of them, as I've made the social circuits in corporate, cultural, ethnic, and spiritual clubhouses) have such a need to belong & fit in, and use alcohol and other means to generate some sense of belonging/enjoyment, that they are, in fact, pathetic. Just watch, if/when they get laid off or lose their homes and see how 'adjusted' they really are.
The reality of the situation is that I'd rather be a social outcast then fit in but unfortunately, due to the business climate of America, I have to put on an act and pretend to fit in, to collect business cards, etc, to play the game.


I need to run for dinner so can only reply to this briefly with 2 examples:

1. Work related social circles impact your career at work and after you leave your place of employment. I worked for a Fortune 500 financial company for 12 years and built good relations with many coworkers who I'm still in contact with. I did not like soccer so did not join the soccer games with coworkers, but I enjoyed fishing so I took them fishing instead. I was laid off from that company in 2008 and, to this day when I apply for new jobs, I still put my old manager, VP, and coworkers on my list of references. I know them well enough that I can list their personal cell phones and ask for letter of recommendation.

I actually did not encounter many "drinking" situations while socializing with coworkers in the US. For my most recent workplace, we played tennis, went snowboarding, fishing, cooking/pot lucks at coworker's homes, etc. In China it's a different story. If you go out to eat with the factory boss, it's almost guaranteed that there would be hard liqueur.

2. For ethnic social groups, I'm Asian and I used to be fairly active in several local Asian social/networking groups such as APEX, YGAP, OCA, etc. My fiance used to run a group with ~700 local members. I cannot speak for other ethnic groups, but for East Asians I get much more "bang for the buck" once I'm "in". If I need a job people will help me look, if I want to get married people will play match maker and so on. I got my last job due to a referral from a Japanese girl that I meet back in 2005. These days if you submit your resume to HR directly, they get hundreds or even thousands, but employee referrals will bypass the stack. She received $5,000 for referring me to the company, and I referred her to a Taiwanese dentist friend for braces, where she spent that $5,000. Then when the Taiwanese dentist friend want to buy a plane ticket to Taiwan, I referred him to another Chinese friend who ran a travel agency.

Chinese/Taiwanese social relations is based on a multitude of reciprocal social networks. You build your connections (guanshi) and gradually improve how others "feel" (Ganqing, Kimochi) about you by participating in social events/gatherings and doing favors for people. In return people will do things for you. As immigrants we start at lower socioeconomic status and we turn to each other for support network. There's a Wii game called Harvest Moon that I'd recommend. It may explain the concept a little better:

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Re: Is it that we just want to feel superior ?

Postby S_Parc » Sat Aug 11, 2012 3:46 am

momopi wrote:I need to run for dinner so can only reply to this briefly with 2 examples:

1. Work related social circles impact your career at work and after you leave your place of employment. I worked for a Fortune 500 financial company for 12 years and built good relations with many coworkers who I'm still in contact with. I did not like soccer so did not join the soccer games with coworkers, but I enjoyed fishing so I took them fishing instead. I was laid off from that company in 2008 and, to this day when I apply for new jobs, I still put my old manager, VP, and coworkers on my list of references. I know them well enough that I can list their personal cell phones and ask for letter of recommendation.


I'm snipping out the Taiwanese bits (since I know little about it) but the relations you describe above is common among many of us. I have up to 20 or so references at this point in time for any job or contractual position.

And yes, it's important to get out there and get to know others. I do this all the time.

Realize this, however, there are lots of dysfunctional families and associations out there. Thus, being a so-called 'insider' isn't something that great. People are putting on fronts in front of each other all the time. I'd prefer to be a loner but have to behave in ways which make that less feasible for me.
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