Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


Does speaking the local language help you meet better women?

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Does speaking the local language help you meet better women?

Postby Everdred » Tue Aug 21, 2012 1:02 pm

One thing I've heard time and time again about meeting foreign women is that if you speak their native language, you will meet better quality foreign women. For example, in order to find the best women in China, you should speak Mandarin, or to meet the best women in Mexico, you should speak Spanish. Or if you want to meet a "real" Russian girl, you should only consider the ones that only speak Russian. The ones that also speak English are somehow inferior or less "authentic" than the ones that don't. I think I really disagree with this generalization. Sure, you can meet MORE women in foreign countries by speaking their native language, but somehow I doubt you will meet better quality women.

The number one reason I personally wouldn't want a serious relationship with a woman who can only speak her native language is because that woman is essentially "trapped" in her home country, or at least until she can speak passable English. Think about it, if you were to get into a serious relationship with a Chinese girl that only spoke Mandarin, you could forget about living outside of China with her. You would have to live in China with her for the rest of her life. I personally wouldn't want to live in any single country for the rest of my life. The only way she could possibly live outside of China was if she only stayed in areas mostly inhabited by Chinese, and she only made friends with other Mandarin-speaking people (99% of which would be Chinese). She also would never be able to communicate with your friends and family, unless you did all the translating for her, or if your friends and family happen to speak Mandarin. And you can forget about traveling around the world with her, unless you want to have to constantly be the one who has to do all the talking for the two of you. The only other option would for the two of you to go traveling with tour groups that speak Mandarin. I hate traveling with tour groups, so that wouldn't be an option for me. Speaking English is the bare minimum to living and traveling around the world.

Also, is a foreign woman who isn't interested in learning English, even though it could greatly improve her life, really a woman you would want to be with? I like foreign women that are worldly and enjoy communicating with people from other countries. I don't like foreign women that are stubborn and think that only their native language is important to speak because it's the best language. I also don't think foreign women who only speak their native language are any more "authentic" than the women who speak English on top of their native language. Just because a woman speaks more than one language, that somehow makes her less authentic that the ones that don't? I don't understand that logic. However, I do admit that there are certain women who you should be suspicious of because they speak English, because maybe their motivations for speaking English aren't good ones (e.g. bar girls, green card chasers, and scammers).

I don't want people to misunderstand me while they're reading this post. I'm all for people trying to learn the local language whenever they move abroad in order to make their lives easier and to be more respectful to the locals. I don't like people from the Anglosphere that make no attempt to learn local languages because they think English is the only important language to speak. However, let's face it, if there's one single language you need to learn above all others in order to see the world, it's English. It's unrealistic for people to learn new languages every time they want to travel to a certain country for a few weeks. Sure, learning a few useful phrases is good, but 99% of people aren't going to learn a whole new language just for short one trip. I'm also all for learning a language to appeal to the local women, but do you really want to be in a serious relationship with a woman that isn't bilingual?

So to summarize everything I said above: do you really think that the foreign women who only speak their native language are somehow more "authentic" than the ones who also speak English on top of their native language? And even if they are, would you really want to be in a serious relationship with one of them? I know I sure wouldn't, at least not ideally.
User avatar
Everdred
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:09 pm
Location: Ibaraki, Japan







Postby patrick » Tue Aug 21, 2012 2:23 pm

You're talking about foreign women who only speak their local language. They're more authentic to that culture ofcourse because they haven't been influenced by foreign (hollywood) media. But to say that that authenticity makes them better wives, i don't know. Depends on what you look for in a woman yourself.

You can also meet foreign women who speak local and English, and try to learn the local language yourself to get a better understanding with your woman because she can express herself better that way.
patrick
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 89
Joined: Thu May 24, 2012 3:29 pm
Location: Canada

Postby ***JP*** » Tue Aug 21, 2012 3:16 pm

Well also a local in another country would not see you as the typical american ignorant because you are making an effort to learn their language and from what I experienced in Lithuania, people do appreciate that you took the time to learn the language even if it's just a few words.
***JP***
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 439
Joined: Sat Sep 03, 2011 12:50 pm
Location: Living happier abroad in Lithuania

Postby Teal Lantern » Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:58 am

Understanding the local language will help you know what's going on around you and detect if the girl is saying nice things to you (in English), while saying rude things about you (in her native language) to her friends.
User avatar
Teal Lantern
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2686
Joined: Mon Aug 13, 2012 11:48 pm
Location: Briar Patch, Universe 25

Postby xiongmao » Wed Aug 22, 2012 1:11 pm

If you want to date very hot Asian women, the key is to develop a good network of friends in the area. Then you'll find that as your reputation grows, you'll start getting introduced to the majority of women who would never use a dating site.
In February 2013 I quit my boring job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
Do YOU want to date beautiful foreign women? Find out which country's women are best for you, and which dating site to look for them on!
Plus, if you like Asian girls, then check out my free Asian dating site.
xiongmao
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2540
Joined: Wed Mar 09, 2011 5:09 pm
Location: London

Postby publicduende » Wed Aug 22, 2012 8:08 pm

I think knowing the local language wouldn't help so much finding the right woman, as would help keeping her. If she's smart and a good conversationalist, taking an effort to learn her local language after shows her that you're "making an investment" in developing a deeper relationship with her, at the intellectual/cultural level as well as physical and superficial.

On the other side, knowing even a few words of a not-so-mainstream foreign language (like Tagalog) does tend to get girls suspicious, especially not used in their local context. I still get a few smirks from the Filipino girls in London I sometimes address with the few Tagalog words I know ("magandang umaga", "salamat po" etc.), and some of them are cheeky enough to ask me if I had a few Filipina girlfriends or "lovers" (as one said) in the past. At least here in London, it's exactly the same with the Japanese and Koreans.
User avatar
publicduende
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2630
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:20 pm

Postby chanta76 » Wed Aug 22, 2012 11:21 pm

Speaking the native language of that foreign country will give you advantages in not only knowing what's up but also having access to girls who normally wouldn't date a foreign guy. If anything the foreign girls who speak English well...might of dated or had western boy friends.

Sigh.....there is sometimes a problem with a foreign girls who dates western men too much. They become westernize by the western men s or western guys just f**k it up over there. I hate to say it . I see this in Asia all the time. Western guys go over there and just whore monger the place. If you meet an Asian girl who dates mostly western guys all the time ...usually they tend to be more liberal and sometimes wilder. Not the traditional type of girls.

Again it depends ...it's not always the case ...but if you want a authentic traditional foreign girl on the average they don't speak English . In Sometimes they are sheltered .

If you decide to bring the girl back to the states it's a different matter...for adjustment...
chanta76
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1486
Joined: Mon Feb 11, 2008 3:56 pm

Re: Does speaking the local language help you meet better wo

Postby Jackal » Thu Aug 23, 2012 12:41 am

Everdred wrote:The number one reason I personally wouldn't want a serious relationship with a woman who can only speak her native language is because that woman is essentially "trapped" in her home country, or at least until she can speak passable English. Think about it, if you were to get into a serious relationship with a Chinese girl that only spoke Mandarin, you could forget about living outside of China with her. You would have to live in China with her for the rest of her life. I personally wouldn't want to live in any single country for the rest of my life. The only way she could possibly live outside of China was if she only stayed in areas mostly inhabited by Chinese, and she only made friends with other Mandarin-speaking people (99% of which would be Chinese).

You underestimate the Chinese--they are very tough and adaptable people! There are even a lot of Chinese people in Hungary who speak Hungarian! Chinese people can live almost anywhere.
Jackal
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1229
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:24 am
Location: Hungary

Re: Does speaking the local language help you meet better wo

Postby Jester » Thu Aug 23, 2012 7:00 am

Jackal wrote:You underestimate the Chinese--they are very tough and adaptable people! There are even a lot of Chinese people in Hungary who speak Hungarian! Chinese people can live almost anywhere.


And open a restaurant.

And succeed.
Jester
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 7869
Joined: Tue Jan 20, 2009 9:10 am
Location: Chiang Mai Thailand

Postby Everdred » Thu Aug 23, 2012 10:25 am

Chanta76, from my experience in Asia, I would say the majority of the women who speak passable English have never dated or had a relationship with a Westerner. Sure, the vast majority of Asian women with Western men speak English, but that doesn't mean that most of the women who speak English have been with a Westerner.

Patrick, please don't falsely assume that non-English speaking women haven't been influenced by Hollywood and Western media.

Xiongmao, I totally agree that the best way to meet quality Asian women is through your social network. Most of the time your social network will be your co-workers and the people your co-workers know. There have been so many opportunities for me date the women I work with, or to date the women that my female co-workers are friends with. Generally, the longer you're in a country, the larger your social network will become, and you'll slowly have more and more dating opportunities.

Jackal, I understand what you're saying, but remember, I was only using a Chinese woman as an example. I'm actually referring to women in all countries outside of the Anglosphere, not just China. If a Chinese woman learns a second language like Hungarian, then that woman isn't part of the group of women who only speak their native language, hence she wouldn't be part of the point I'm trying to make.

And guys please don't forget - I'm all for learning the local language when living abroad, but I'm skeptical that speaking the local language will grant you access to higher quality and more authentic local women. And a woman from a non-English speaking country who doesn't at least speak a second language is essentially bound to her home country, which is unattractive to me.
User avatar
Everdred
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:09 pm
Location: Ibaraki, Japan

Postby Jackal » Thu Aug 23, 2012 9:44 pm

Everdred wrote:Jackal, I understand what you're saying, but remember, I was only using a Chinese woman as an example. I'm actually referring to women in all countries outside of the Anglosphere, not just China. If a Chinese woman learns a second language like Hungarian, then that woman isn't part of the group of women who only speak their native language, hence she wouldn't be part of the point I'm trying to make.

Okay, so you are talking about a person who is so ignorant that she would refuse to learn even a small amount of a foreign language even when is living in a country where it is spoken? (like many Americans lol) Then yes, I agree with you that such a woman would most likely be a waste of time and would be very frustrating to deal with, but I think that if you found some currently monolingual woman who actually wants to move abroad with you, then that would imply that she has some interest in learning the language which is spoken in the country you're moving to.

I mean, you're not shipping slaves at gunpoint who don't want to go where you're bringing them! lol

Everdred wrote:And guys please don't forget - I'm all for learning the local language when living abroad, but I'm skeptical that speaking the local language will grant you access to higher quality and more authentic local women.

This probably varies by country, but yes, I see your point. I think that it's true that learning the local language is no guarantee of meeting higher quality women. But what it does do is give you access to MORE women who are living in that country and it allows you to be smoother, more charming, and less awkward because you can understand what other people are saying and react to more situations appropriately.

Imagine this situation:
You're in a restaurant overseas with a woman and you have no idea what the waiter is saying and the woman you're with has to translate every little thing for you!
Result: You look like a p***y!

Americans might normally laugh this kind of stuff off, but it begins to irritate locals if you're there for a long time. No one's saying that you need to be able to write poetry in the local language, but at least being able to understand what people are saying in common situations is extremely helpful.

Often in larger cities, most people in the hospitality industries speak English, but in other places, it can be less common. So learning the language also gives you more freedom geographically: You can talk to people in all the cities in that country and not just in a few.
Jackal
Experienced Poster
 
Posts: 1229
Joined: Tue Mar 04, 2008 3:24 am
Location: Hungary

Yes

Postby CerealKiller » Fri Aug 24, 2012 8:14 am

Everdred,

I'm gonna go with a resounding 'yes' on this one. Why wouldn't it?

As to your scenario of finding someone in China: let's hypothetically say that 95% of women don't speak English there, and only 5% do. (Prolly not too far off the mark from reality.) See where I'd headed with this one? If you didn't know any Chinese dialects, you'd therefore only have access to a max of 5% of the population. Whereas if you spoke the lingua franca, it would go from a potential 5% to 100%.

Consider thy options...
User avatar
CerealKiller
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 4:23 am

Postby Everdred » Sun Aug 26, 2012 4:10 am

CerealKiller, you seem to be emphasizing quantity over quality. However, the point I'm trying to make is about quality, not quantity. Speaking the local language no doubt gives you access to MORE women, but I don't believe it gives you access to better quality and more authentic women. I can't count how many times I've heard: "If you want to meet a "real" Chinese (or any other nationality) woman, then you need to speak the local language."

As for China, the women who I encountered that spoke English tended to be more receptive to foreigners and foreign culture, and often better educated than the Chinese women who didn't speak anything but Mandarin. As someone who speaks, reads, and writes a decent amount of Mandarin Chinese, I have seen both sides of the coin. The women who spoke English seemed no less "Chinese" than the ones who didn't speak English. Unless it was for a short fling, I personally wasn't interested in having any kind of long-term relationship with the Chinese women who couldn't speak English. I like to move from country to country every few years, and I know I wouldn't have wanted to wait around for years for a woman to learn English (if she even got around to doing it at all). I noticed that many of the Chinese women who didn't speak a second language had little interest in international travel and also had no desire to live outside of China. Ironically (or not ironically), the Chinese women that spoke English often seemed greatly interested in foreign culture, international travel, and dating foreigners.

I'm not saying women who can't speak English or a second language aren't appealing, I just know I wouldn't want to be in a long-term relationship with one. Her not speaking English or any other second language would be a major crutch to traveling and living around the world with her. One night stands and short flings? Well of course those are okay.

Let's flip the cards and do something a little different here. Let's talk about American women. Which American woman would you expect to be more interesting, receptive to foreigners and foreign culture, interested in international travel, and intelligent: an American woman who can only speak English, or an American woman who fluently speaks both English and French (because she chose to learn French, not because her family is French)? Of course the answer is the latter. And why would the American woman who speaks two languages be any less "American" than the American woman who only speaks English? The monolingual American woman isn't necessarily undesirable, but the bilingual American woman probably has more desirable traits to the American man that wants to live around the world.
Last edited by Everdred on Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:07 am, edited 1 time in total.
User avatar
Everdred
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 106
Joined: Wed Jun 13, 2012 1:09 pm
Location: Ibaraki, Japan

Postby polya » Sun Aug 26, 2012 5:04 am

OMG, what would happen if a Chinese-speaking woman came to America to date? - How many US guys could she meet? So this is YOUR problem meeting girls in other countries. I'll go further & say don't bother trying to get married and live in any country you can't speak the language unless you have time and money to study full time for at least one year. Otherwise, you'll probably end up getting taken for a ride by some foreign version of a AW (at least the Police in her country won't come running when she calls them on you - a reason NOT to bring her to your country).
"Woman is a violent and uncontrolled animal... If you allow them to achieve complete equality with men, do you think they will be easier to live with? Not at all. Once they have achieved equality, they will be your masters." Cato the Elder
polya
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 850
Joined: Wed Jan 09, 2008 7:21 am

Postby CerealKiller » Sun Aug 26, 2012 7:21 am

Everdred wrote:...access to better quality and more authentic women. I can't count how many times I've heard: "If you want to meet a "real" Chinese (or any other nationality) woman, then you need to speak the local language."


Everdred,

Thanks for your post. You've clearly put some time into thinking about this matter. I feel that you and I are more or less on the same side when it comes to this. The difference is that I would agree with both of our posts. What do I mean?

Well, if you're looking for access to better quality and more authentic women I really can't see how knowing the language would be hurting your chances. As I stated before, not knowing the language might only open you up to 5% of the overall dateable popuation, simply cuz the other 95% would not be able to communicate with you at all. I.e. even if you met your would-be perfect match, things would be dead in the water before they even began. But knowing the language, you go from 5% to a potential 100%. Let's see.... 5% versus 100% of the overall dateable population to choose from... seems like a no brainer!

So I'm really not sure how knowing the local language would hurt your chances. It's similar to being an expert musician, magician, comedian - it would only help your chances, not hurt them.

Let's turn the tables: what if you were to go to the US but not be able to speak a word of English? Sure, there are quite a few people who speak languages besides English, but that said, the overwhelming majority of Americans are monolingual. By not speaking the lingua franca, you're limiting your dating pool big time.

Again, thanks for your post, and I hope you aren't taking this the wrong way. Seems like you might've already made up your mind anyway ;)
User avatar
CerealKiller
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 136
Joined: Fri Aug 24, 2012 4:23 am

Next

Return to General Discussions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: No registered users and 7 guests