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It is my pleasure to write my first post in this forum, which I discovered a few months ago via its root site happierabroad.com when I conducted some online research about the dating scene in the western world versus abroad. I have briefly introduced myself in the respective section of this forum, since I know that it is expected from anyone new joining in, but I am going to reintroduce myself here, so that you don't have to switch to the other thread right now. I am a male in the upper-mid 20's, described as decent, good-looking and smart by the people I am connected with (and it would be a lie to disagree with them on my side . I am still going to college, but - guess what, having had no luck with western women so far, as so many of you (I guess), which consequently means that I have been single ever since.
I think it is natural for a male to be bothered by not having had any girlfriends up to this age despite "having done nothing wrong", which is why I started looking into this issue by reading sources of information from the web to figure out whether it was due to deficiencies on my part or whether it was a more widespread phenomenon among other guys as well. And I have to admit that when I stumbled upon Niceguy's page and Winston Wu's articles about the benefits of dating foreign women versus American women, I was shocked - shocked to find the problems with American women to be put so succinctly and articulately in words, the problems that I subconsciously noticed in the past, but thought of them to be "natural". I am also shocked to realize how the feminist crap deluded me into believing that treating AW the way THEY SAY they want - namely, being respectful, compromising, tender and viewing them as equals with dignity, would make them regarding me as an ideal mate for dating activities.
One thing that bothers me most, and Winston's articles address it numerous times, lies at the very source of the dating river: Females not paying attention to males. I notice it in my college: Even when you are decent-looking (7.5 on a 0-10 scale), dressed well and conscious of your social skills, most women will not even look at you when you walk by, let alone smile at you. This phenomenon has puzzled me, since I usually look at every female around my age who walks by, and I think of it as a natural gene evaluation process of milliseconds that leads to the approval or disapproval of a potentional mate. Their indifference has made me uncomfortable looking at them with a signal of attention. I asked myself whether women have lost sexual interest in males, otherwise they would scan them more frequently - but on other days I would see them interacting with total jerks or assholes. So this is where I think things could be so much simpler if more women would transmit their signal of interest with their body language to let the male know whether he has a chance to being paid attention first place. But it seems that in countries where women are not infested by feminism (yet), males do get looks, which confirms that this is the natural way of how opposite genders should communicate.
Well, suppose you are given attention by a female who happens to be in your class, group or workplace. I noticed that even in college, where you expect to interact with a better educated population, it becomes a true challenge to engage in an interesting conversation with an AW for even five minutes without having her coming up with cheap excuses ("I have to leave") or just showing no interest in continuing the conversation. And I am not referring to nerd talk, but casual conversation about culture, people, food, campus and their person - topics that are supposed to make a good talk. Too many times I found myself asking them questions, but having them hardly asking any questions about my person despite their initial expression of interest. This is what Winston refers to as "Talking to AW feels awkward", and when that happens on a repetitive basis, you start casting doubts about yourself and your social skills. On the other hand, when those women show interest in a talk, that conversation is usually about some crap and bulls**t that is truly "out of my league". There were only extremely few women (and I have to admit that they were attractive) who always enjoyed conversations with me. They attested positive qualities in me, which at least gave me comfort and prevented me from becoming totally disillusioned. (Unfortunately, these few women either had boyfriends already, or they put me on their friend zone).
I rarely went to bars because I deemed them as a horrible place for conversations, and I don't regret that I didn't go because it's a no-win game for males, as the whole dating scene: If you don't meet their strict looks criteria, they won't bother giving you the time of the day; if you are very good-looking, this will boost their already overinflated ego, but they are not interested in a serious relationship unless your income category matches their delusional fantasy. And if you are rich and good-looking, they will devour you by marrying and then putting you into the divorce court, hahaha... That predicament has really made me sad and afraid of ever dating American Women.
What I haven't told you yet is that I am of Ukrainian origin (and I can still speak at least Russian), so I am an ethnic Slav, and I have visited my country of heritage just recently. While I noticed that western culture is trying hard to penetrate the Ukrainian and Russian society, making women there more "feminized" than they were during the Soviet Union, the picture seemed to be not nearly as bleak as in America or Scandinavia (I and some of my friends had horrible experience trying to date Scandinavians). I guess most of you guys are wondering why I did bother with western women all the time and did not go to Ukraine long ago to find an adequate mate. Some of you may even envy me for my being Slavic and knowing Russian (and therefore not facing the race-related rejection from Eastern European women, as blacks or Asians do), but to be honest I resented the idea of being with an Eastern European woman in America, since I thought she would know nothing about the new society and couldn't fit in, giving me a hard time conducting interesting conversations and getting along with her. But I realized lately that even Ukrainian women from rural, impoverished areas may be better educated than American college teens and drama queens, because the economic conditions make them more interested in knowledge and science, as it's seen as a path out of poverty, whereas in America, you have spoiled young bitches who couldn't care less about being educated. Living in Ukraine was not an option, because the career opportunities are limited, even though I detest excessive materialism and capitalism as practiced in America. I still hope to find a female life companion in America with who I can share love, but whenever I read about males who got screwed up by AW, I can't help but realize that the odds are so depressingly low... At least I know that there are other options out there in the world, and Winston has earned a tip on the hat and my great thanks for exposing the realities of dating in America and abroad.
I apologize for the long-winded post, which doesn't even cover all of what I wanted to tell you. I think I will add further insights and conclusions from time to time, post by post in shorter froms. I certainly welcome any input or feedback - and I am glad to be in the club
" But I realized lately that even Ukrainian women from rural, impoverished areas may be better educated than American college teens and drama queens, because the economic conditions make them more interested in knowledge and science, as it's seen as a path out of poverty, whereas in America, you have spoiled young bitches who couldn't care less about being educated."
I hear you! Education was almost "free" in the Ukraine under Communism, and it was a way to defer military service for guys and to give girls more options than working in some horrible factory (although they rarely worked from what I've heard). In America, Education has become unfashionable - as everyone "knows it all anyway."
Hello Excalibur, welcome to the forum. You have observed what millions of men in America have experienced with women in the USA. Women in America ignore men, don't flirt with men or even make eye contact with men!
A study released a couple of years ago showed that American women are the second least flirtacious women in the world! This survey was done with men from 200 countries around the world. So you now see that American women ignoring men is normal behavior. Even if you are a good looking guy, women will still ignore you.
There are 4 million more single men than single women in the US, and women in America have lot's of guys hitting on them, so that explains why they don't show any interest in men, they are getting lot's of guys asking them out.
A lot of men in America feel "invisable" to women. It does make you think twice about whether or not your desirable to women but just remember it's not you, it's American women who are the problem.
Just travel overseas to South America, eastern Europe, Russia, Thailand and the Philippines and there you will have women showing interest in you. Women in the USA are a strange breed indeed!
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."