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Now here is how this is all viewed ABROAD:
During my first encounters with women in Mexico, Mexican women would wonder what makes me "tÃmido" (shy)
and have a lot of "verguenza" (be really embarrassed)
around them. They could tell something was holding me back, and that I was being exceptionally careful and reserved in showing interest. During my first conversations with my first Mexican gf, she wondered why I was so reluctant to compliment her and tell her my feelings towards her.
What OTB had said all along.
OTB wrote:To get right to it, this so called culture we live in has taught us to suppress our instinctual desires when it comes to meeting women. It has taught us to act emotionless and rigid when we see a woman that we would like to approach or get to know.
We've learned to be emotionless, rigid, and cold when it comes to showing attraction for a woman which should be the complete opposite.
So how you fix this when you're abroad? Watch how men and women in foreign countries interact with and court each other. Then do it yourself. Monkey see, monkey do.
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Have men lost the art of flirting?
http://www.city-data.com/forum/relation ... rting.html
I agree. With so many laws about sexual harrassment, it seems like men can't figure out how to approach women anymore.
When I was single, I always noticed that foreign men never had any problems flirting with me or telling me that they were interested in me. Foreign men would do all kinds of things if they were interested that men in America would get arrested for
. I've lived briefly in France, Spain, Mexico, Colombia, and Brazil--and in those countries men can be very aggressive in their flirting. Some of the things they would do include getting the woman's address from someone and sending her cards and flowers, walking by the woman's house multiple times hoping to run into her, waiting for her outside her job to be able to talk to her, following her around, singing to her outside her window (yes, this still happens!). Men will see you on the bus or train and get off at your stop and start a conversation. Next thing you know, they're inviting you to have a cup of coffee.
I usually found it nice, if it was someone I was attracted to. And the women in these countries generally find that behavior flattering, or at least non-threatening. Men who do this are not considered creeps or psychos. Those are all culturally acceptable ways to let a woman know they are interested.
In America there are so many constraints that men have become very unsure of themselves, unless, as Urban Sasquatch noted, they are too stupid to care.
Read more: http://www.city-data.com/forum/relation ... z2Aqn0jwrv
A reply to the above post:
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OTB wrote:To get right to it, this so called culture we live in has taught us to suppress our instinctual desires when it comes to meeting women. It has taught us to act emotionless and rigid when we see a woman that we would like to approach or get to know. How did we learn to behave in such a way? We learned it from how women behave towards men that show interest or would like to show interest in them.
The no signs of interest, the cold, emotionless look on their face that makes you feel like you don't exist, the "don't invade my space" vibe unless I know you me, and the avoidance of eye contact when they clearly see you trying to flirt has had a major impact [b]on our subconscious mind. As a result of this it has become a habit or an automatic response. We see women we find attractive in various places and deep down inside we want to flirt, send signs of interest, and just spark up a friendly conversation with her. WE ALL WANT THAT!
But! We have learned that we shouldn't do that. Our desire to want to show interest has now been subconsciously suppressed and made to stay tucked away instead of being allowed to just come out and be seen. This is what causes so much frustration. We've learned to constantly avoid women that we would like to get closer to and establish a connection with. And this tells our subconscious mind that this is normal. This is not our true behavior. It has become normal behavior because we repeatedly do it. Anything that is done repeatedly becomes a habit. Our minds have learned this pattern. If we see multiple girls and express attraction by eye flirting or smiling we feel like a pervert if they catch you looking. In addition, when they act emotionless and don't reciprocate any interest it makes you feel like why bother even showing any interest. You lose enthusiasm and now you don't approach, smile, or flirt at all. This reaction is repeated whenever you see a girl that catches your eye, in the US, because you've sent the message to your subconscious mind to not approach, flirt, or show any signs of interest. It's really just mirroring their behavior.
So did I say all that to come off like a psychologist? NO! The point I'm trying to make is that the dating scene and trying to establish a connection with girl in this country has psychologically affected a lot of American men . We've learned to be emotionless, rigid, and cold when it comes to showing attraction for a woman which should be the complete opposite. This is a truly sad place to find a woman to love. A place where women act afraid of men and act like they don't exist. And people try to tell you to be optimistic. I hate that. Basting in sexual frustration and constantly suppressing your desire for a woman makes you feel shut down. It's a "whatever" attitude. No emotion. Just whatever. It's no big deal anyway because the pick of woman as we all know is not great at all in this country. That's why we're looking abroad.
I had to come back to this topic because it's very important. What I wanted to add is how women read our frustrations, but yet they say or do absolutely nothing about it.
To me it just proves the point that women are indifferent towards men at best, and at worse, they really don't care about men because if they did they would be sighing up on HA trying to solicit dates with the guys on here.
Now one could argue that it's a mans job to approach women, but why is it that if a male is high status (ie, Justin Bieber) women are no longer shy and are willing to approach the male even at the risk of embarrassing herself?
Like this regular guy who did an experiment to act like a celebrity and the girls were going crazy for him:
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Who is the girl? She seems to be really popular and admired by other females.
I am a terrible person.
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