Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Monday nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE AFA Seminar! See locations and dates here.
View Active Topics View Your Posts Latest 100 Topics FAQ Topics Mobile Friendly Theme
Discuss and talk about any general topic.
And what's wrong with a little ego gratification, especially when one's ego has been spit on and demeaned by the culture? The ego doesn't need to become overinflated, but it does need to be filled to a healthy amount - like a balloon I guess. Fill it too much and it explodes, but don't put any air in it and it cannot be what it is meant to be. If one is made to be a forced celibate, there's a good way to solve that problem. That's more important to me than a relationship. Those come and go, and I've come to understand and appreciate how fragile patriarchal and traditional cultures are. And now that the world doesn't really have them anymore, relationships are much more fragile as well. I dream of being promiscuous. It's the epitome of male value.
Lavezzi, you talk about the spiritual matters often. What kind of religion do you practice? Do you have a traditional family? I think you appreciate what I say as I do what you say - but I think the spiritual parts of life are massively weak now. I really shouldn't even argue for the traditional way of being, of having marriages and families. I believe in those things, but I don't practice them. And although I don't think I am capable of practicing them, I haven't felt the desire in a while. And that has come from taking and digesting many red pills. It's just a belief now, and I would rather get my debauchery accomplished and enjoy life rather than trying to be a guardian of a dead idea which I don't and can't practice anyway.
satisfaction, gratification, happiness etc. never come from ego. an ego identified person may say "i am happy, i have xyz" but circumstantial happiness is not true. both you and this person are in constant seeking mode 24/7 and it causes great uneasiness which you fail to even recognize. the balloon does not exist, but your beleif that it does causes you to keep having to tirelessly pump air into it.
darwinian thinking on psycology by materialists has made us see ourselves as animals helpless to resist our instincts. we are taught to ignore the fact thar we are highly self aware beings in control of our responce mechanisms to external stimuli especially in regards to that solely psycological in nature.
i do not practice religion. i reflect on truth and meditate whenever i feel like doing so. i come from a traditional family as most in my generation here did also. i share the same values as you in that regard and am well aware of how the society before me is decaying. but i do not personalize it. i just fully accept it as it is, live truthfully and try and spread truth to others as much as i can. if my values are in line with truth then by spreading truth i will be restoring my values into the world.
I agree, in the US, your ego is shot to hell by women and by the man hating culture. Women in America simply act like men don't exist, they don't flirt with men, don't make eye contact with men or show any signs of interest in men. What this does is lower your self esteem and you begin to think to yourself that you are a complete failure with women.
Then you travel to the Philippines, Ukraine or Russia and suddenly, women smile at you and flirt with you. This builds up your self confidence and you begin to feel good about yourself. Then, you come back home to the US and once again, your self esteem goes into the toilet!
Men are naturally promiscuous and desire sex with many women throughout our lifetimes. Winston started a thread a while ago asking why is it that pursuing women and sex is considered a bad thing in the US? I guess in the US, men are considered "creeps" if they want to have casual sex with women. Maybe this has something to do with our countrys puritan roots.
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
self esteem that is dependent on the approval of others is false. esteem of the highest aspect of ourself is self evident because it is unchanging and does not rely on ideas given to us about who we are which are kept afloat by reassurence of them from others and brain chemicals. once you awaken and connect with the higher self there is no more anxiety as to what others think about you and no more moods that rapidly fluxuate, just an everpresent peaceful alertness and deeply ingrained sense of peace and freedom. a change in your outlook on life and meditation is all thats needed to acheive this.
Well, I appreciate the depth of your observations. However, please consider that many posters here are actually quite young, in their 20s and starving from lack of sexual contact and authentic human relationship. One could follow them and blame the current state of US (UK, EU, etc.) society as a whole, of find it somewhat exaggerated, when not stretching well into paranoia. Yet, I wouldn't be too harsh when judging their escapist dreams, their desire to finally see their sexual life blossom in an exotic country where girls are more traditional, more feminine, more approachable. Sure, when a young man travels to the Philippines with a pocket full of dollars (Euros, etc.) and determined to catch up on years and years of sexual starvation, he could very easily forget that those young women are all human beings with real feelings and expectations, be them innocent/naive or individualistic/manipulative. Most, if not all of them will feel at the centre of the attention, addressed as handsome and interesting as never before in their home countries, validated as men and lovers. They will enjoy the stream of dates, smiles, kisses, p***y etc. and probably break a few hearts in the process.
That's where, I can only hope, the fun should stop. With their urges given into and their souls replenished, continuing that kind of lifestyle as some sort of cheap self-gratification routine, often at someone else's expenses, becomes teenagerish, immature, a clear sign of stunted emotional development. That's something I would condone a lot less. We are born as inherently social beings: we can never learn who we are and how to go beyond who we are without reaching for the other, touching them, comparing and contrasting with them, loving them and even hating them. They say "good friends are mirrors". Just imagine how much more this applies to a relationship that goes beyond friendship and involves physical contact, intimacy and sexuality.
Leaving aside those women who have sex like they do sports, or the hardened sluts, my experience tells me that whenever a good-hearted, smart and slightly traditional young woman opens her legs to you, she has chosen to give you a chance to learn more, a lot more about herself than her body anatomy. And well, what better opportunity for growth than knowing another human being intimately, in depth and detail, while in the meantime discovering more about yourself, your emotional world, what you can share, desire, ask for in the Other? Limiting yourself to sex and some casual chit-chat equates to a wasted opportunity. Missing out a few times out of naivety or inexperience is OK, but adopting a libertine, shallow sex lifestyle that preys on the naivety of many a SEA girl means missing out all the time, with the risk of desensitise oneself to the very beauty of embarking in a human relationship with a full heart and a honest mind.
My 2 cents, as usual...
my post was in response to ghost in particular who was indicating he wished filipino women were more traditionally traditional in general and that he didnt want to marry one because they werent.
for a young guy raised in the anglo environment who never really fit in culturally or learned how to navigate socially at a high level, getting any kind of female contact can feel almost like an impossibility. so purely on a level of sexual desire it is perfectly understandable why so many guys would be so eager to simply get laid.
on the subject of filipinas i am going on a date with one tomorrow. i arranged it too early and now i beleive it was a big mistake. she is simply too different to me. she has 6000 facebook friends and a very extroverted personality. it is like her mouth opens and random thoughts fall out. she refuses to talk about her christian faith and treats it as offensive subject matter. i know filipinas tend to get attatched extremely easily, very much unlike koreans. so i am unsure what to do in this situation. perhaps ill know for sure after meeting her.
Well, about your up and coming date, as you say, it never hurts to have an opportunity to know somebody else. It can always be good to walk in there with no expectations. Surely a Filipina with 6000 FB friends, who can travel to Ireland (Dublin?) alone for sightseeing must be quite the middle class, educated and liberated type. If I were you, I would avoid seeing her under the lens of the "Filipino woman" stereotype we are used to. Just see where she wants to go with you and if you like her way of thinking, talking and behaving, and obviously you like each other physically, then I don't think a little intimacy would be in the way of a nice, mature friendship (with benefits).
i find most filipinas attractive, in other words the non overweight ones. but she is quite overweight. which would be absolutely fine if she had either a reserved NE Asian style personality like my last gf, or a deep filipina personality like this forum has indicated do exist, but not if its a quite overweight AND highly outgoing talkative (about nothing in particular) filipina type. i am very interested in meeting her on a friendship basis after all the thousands of threads and arguments/completely differing opinions about filipinas on HA etc. just do not want to give the wrong impression on a romantic level because she is actually here on a work visa for at least another year.
Do u have direct experience traveling and meeting women in sub-saharan Africa? I get the impression that a lot of women there are drawn to white guys sexually mainly cus they anticipate monetary rewards and are in desperate need or want of such. And sometimes they will ask for it directly; none of that Asian politeness or even shame. Otherwise, they normally expect it I believe. Some of the more patient ones may be trying to hook u onto some sort of sponsorship or marriage deal.
And I wouldn't be surprised if women there are more naturally drawn to black guys from their own tribes in a visceral sense. For example, go to Nairobi and try to date the cream there. As a white guy of any age, I think you will have quite a challenge. I don't care what naughty nomad or others might claim.
Height is a construct of Anglo Culture just like trying to emasculate Black Men is a direct result of how Anglo Men feel inadequate and don't want competition from Black Men for their women.
Asian men simply aren't that tall (on average) and that is seen as genetic deficiency. As I have said before my boy Ob is Thai and over 6'0 tall has no trouble dating at all, though he mostly chases around Asian women.
Here's the problem (this all off-topic by the way) jobs/careers that used to be well-respected by most of the population is seen as boring and typical by most Anglo women who look to up the ante in their usually unexciting lives by injecting some into it by dating the "Bad Boy".
This is why women try to extend their more attractive years with cosmetic surgery and either suffer from an eating disorder or are gym rats.
Some feminist like Joy Bahar and Eve Ensler are mostly self-deprecating and think the beauty industry is damaging young women, seeming to forget that when they were in their 20's in the 1970's guess what? The beauty industry still existed, was still fanatical about tall and really thin women who wear sizes on the catwalk that the majority of women can only dream to get into it (not a dream but takes work, nobody talks about that).
The truth is these women (like most feminist) are not that attractive. They are always mad at the more attractive women because they are able to use their feminine charms to get whatever it is they want.
The truth is this however. American men, Anglo men in general need to stop complaining and be more active in how they pursue women. Contacting a handful of women with an generally uninteresting profile is just not going to get it done. There is too much competition, even for the "Good Girls".
Stop believing in the scarcity marketplace, go to where Good Girls are abundant. Stop using the expensive vacation excuse, stop believing you don't make enough money, you just aren't trying hard enough and thinking conventionally when conventional thinking is largely failing.
I find it interesting are fearless leader would allow a threat called "Is The Philippines the easiest country to get laid" when you can't talk about official prostitution without Google sending him a notice they won't pay him for such contact...
Obviously its easy to get laid PI if you have a few dollars in your pocket....
Superfluous, fantasy-based, off-topic attack on WM. OK... No big thang.
See now, this is why we need you here.