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Is Porn causing you Social Anxiety?
Who doesnâ€™t like beating off; choking the chicken; bashing the bishop; rubbing one out, right? All the visual debauchery we could ever need is only a web search away. The wonders of modern like, eh?
But what if I told you there could be a sinister dark-side to porn and masturbation, one that may be ruining your life if left unchecked? Well, youâ€™d probably want a heads-up on the whole thing, and thatâ€™s what this article is all about.
Wanking is good for you, and normalâ€¦
Masturbation a perfectly normal and natural habit. It should be enjoyed withoutout the stigma and guilt often associated with it by society. Guys relieving the sexual tension because they have no other way to do it is perfectly normal. Itâ€™s actually proven to be healthy because it has been shown to help reduce your risk of prostate cancer. However, can it affect our ability to meet women if it becomes an addiction, especially if excessive consumption of porn is involved.
Masturbation is, by definition, an isolated activity that you do alone. You sit there glaring at the computer screen, browsing porn sites for a long period of time looking for new stuff to get your fix from. Part of you knows that this surely canâ€™t be good for your social life, but you do it anyway, right? I know I do.
Well it blew my mind the other day when I read about masturbation to porn potentially directly causing social anxiety in men. What the hell? How can something as normal and porn and masturbation cause you to suffer from increased social anxiety?
Porn & masturbation rewires the brain
Any type of continuously repeated behaviour is going to cause rewiring of the brain, also known as â€˜habitsâ€™. This is fine if kept in check but if it gets out of control it can completely hijack your thought process. That is how people get into addictions. They start to lose control of what they are doing and allow that particular activity to take over. They become dependent on that particular activity. Anything that we do in life if done in a balanced manner is healthy. However if taken to the extreme it can soon become a detriment to your health.
In the book â€˜The Brain That Changes Itselfâ€™ Dr Norman Doidge explains how high levels of dopamine, caused from excessive stimuli, can cause the brain to alter. Part of your brain deals with â€˜making social tiesâ€™ and thus is there to help you make friends and form relationships. However the high dopamine from porn & masturbation can cause these to change, which has a huge effect on our perception of life.
Instead of being in a situation where we want to meet others, we instead get more pleasure from fake people. This is because of the release of dopamine that happens in this situation. Soon the lure of porn & masturbation becomes even more compelling than going out and trying to meet women for sex.
Porn rewards time alone
Although our bodies are engineered biologically to find relationships rewarding â€“ as it spreads and mulitplies our genes, somehow it just does not seem to have the same effect as hours of trawling erotic material on the web. Bottom line, porn in its modern â€˜never-ending always on tapâ€™ form essentially short-circuits our reward centre and can turn us into mindless goal-seeking machines.
The instant gratification porn provides means we are more likely to stay in and masturbate, instead of going out into the real world. This therefore isolates us even more from the rest of the world. It becomes a self-reinforcing self-destructive pattern.
Dopamine may play a role in depressionâ€¦
It seems that dopamine may cause depression. When it is initially released you get a massive high. This however only lasts, while you have exposure to dopamine. The sort of exposure that may be bought about from constant drug use, or in this case frequent, prolonged masturbation.
The problem is, if you have an addiction to porn & masturbation and are therefore subjected to high levels of dopamine, you may find that you suffer from depression. Depression has a big impact on how you feel.
Why? Well, your body essentially builds up a resistance to the effects of dopamine, so your â€˜base levelâ€™ of happiness and satisfaction, just in general, is subjectively lower. It also mediates social anxiety, so this increases too.
Breaking the addiction and meeting new people is made hard because of depression. Especially the symptoms such as low self-esteem, feeling irritable and intolerant of others, lack of energy or lack of interest in sex, etc. This is what makes it so hard to change your ways, because you feel bad and the only way you feel as though you can feel better is by masturbating. Itâ€™s a vicious cycle.
Often, you wonâ€™t even notice yourself doing this. Youâ€™ll just find yourself on autopilot, self-medicating by watching porn and masturbating. Realising that you are in this situation is the first step in the battle to get control back from your compulsions.
Who is most likely to suffer from addiction?
Certain people are more likely to suffer from social anxiety caused by addiction. Natural introverts are at the greatest risk. They are the sorts of people who isolate themselves away from others. This isolation often further compounds their porn addiction.
What does this mean for you?
Like I said at the beginning, porn & masturbation is totally normal as long as it is part of a healthy lifestyle. However if it becomes an addiction then it can become a problem.
Check out these porn/masturbation addiction stories to see for yourself just how deep the rabbit hole goes.
If this happens to you then there is always the possibility that you could suffer from increased social anxiety. Now I am not saying give up masturbation as itâ€™s not to be blamed on itâ€™s own. However if you feel like porn and masturbation maybe taking over your day-to-day life then you need to nip it in the bud fast.
What is the effect of HA addiction on dopamine?
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
I think (though I'm not sure) that the problem isn't p@rn per se but the continuous combination of p@rn & masturbation. In other words, in place of memories and active visualization, p@rn becomes an outside stimuli, replacing one's imagination.
If so, then the problem has more to do with the guy, not getting across the border, and seeing esc@rts, from time to time. This will provide a fresh source of memories and visualizations, which he can use, while he's jerking off but at home. Then, he can reduce his p@rn intake to just his favorite actresses.
Since I'd b@inked a Jennifer Connolly look-a-like (along with doppelgangers of other famous actresses) up in Montreal, I have a definite set of memories which makes p@rn, unnecessary to get through my week.
I agree to some extent. But for men trapped in the west our options are celibacy, porn or p4p. P4p is illegal and expensive, so porn becomes the natural option.
I've watched Gary's video and read his wife's book. What he leaves out of the video is that him and his wife practice what's called "Karezza", which is abstaining from all orgasm - even with a partner. So he has an undisclosed agenda.
* Just noticed the new site's wording filtering for the first time. Interesting.
Correction, esc@rts are only illegal in the USA. Our peer English speaking nations: Canada, UK, Australia, & NZ all have it.
As for tech, I don't know what stage this product is at but there's a preliminary silicone robot, which can help in removing that layer, where the brain is stimulated by touch than just the constant visual cues of p@rn.
If a fellow is nowhere near the borders of either Canada or Mexico, then I recommend getting a Silicone bedmate. There's no point in getting depressed over a long term lack of tactile contact.
If Silicon bedmate is not up to the task you can always GRAB YOUR DICK AND DOUBLE CLICK
You know, when I'd first written the original robotic companion thread, I was thinking in terms of a social scientist.
Now, I'm genuinely worried, as this lack of tactile sensation in the US is causing men to go into depression, suicide, or commit capital crimes. Thus, if the tactile experience can be restored, albeit by artificial means, then we won't see the destructive nature of p@rn. On the other hand, unlike what those folks suggest, I do not believe that dating is the solution for p@rn at all. Stateside dating, if anything, destroys the character & nature of men because women can't stand it, when men have their acts together but can't be manipulated. On the other shoe, as a gender, we like cohesion and building things and that's why you see so many guys, restoring classic cars vs spending their money on chauffeuring some AW around for her insipid hobbies like Tea Leaf readings. Since AWs control dating, it becomes a game of divide/conquer and thus, you replace one bad p@rn habit with a now, another bad one.
BTW, there's nothing wrong with being sociable. It's the dating of AWs which I despise.
All and all, starting with the day I'd stopped dating AWs and finally, to the more recent date when I'd decided that any and all female relationships on the continent, AWs or FWs, was a waste of time, did I discover my true self. That's when routine b@inking of escorts in Montreal and then focusing intensely on my activities at home, made we feel great about both myself and life in general. Thus, I have no interest in p@rn and don't even need to choke the Salami very much either.
Look at George Sedini - he shot up a gym-full of AW since he hadn't had sex since the early 1990s. I think men's mental health is getting worse and there will be a lot more revenge attacks on women.
Masturbation Is A Demonic Sex Magic Ritual
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
"Fifty six days ago I was a total mess:
I fapped 1-2 times per day
I couldn't focus at work
I was awkward around girls, and very self-conscious
I had sexual thoughts hundreds of times per day, and could not see a girl past her body
The only thing that really made me feel great was fapping (I didn't even enjoy hanging out with friends much, I would've rather been home fapping)
Fifty six days ago I decided to try NoFap once again, and today I couldn't be happier:
I've reached a new level of focus productivity, and ambition
I am no longer self-conscious around girls...I've gone on many dates these past few weeks, and I never think twice about just being myself. I also have gotten quite a few numbers, and I'm finding that talking with girls now feels like second nature
Not only am I approaching girls much more, but I am being approached by girls much more. I catch girls checking me out all the time, and find that women are much more friendly to me than they were two months ago (they can sense which guys are the pervs, and fortunately I am no longer one of them)
I'm smiling more hours per day than I was before
I feel like a real man, confident and happier with who I am. My voice is also deeper, and my balls hang lower despite the cold winter weather
I see beauty in so many women who have been around me for years - somehow I never noticed before.
I derive pleasure out of the small things in life, like going for a walk in the park, or watching the sun rise
I no longer feel depressed
The truth is I am actually still in somewhat of a flatline...but this morning I woke up in the bed of a girl, who three weeks ago I thought was way out of my league, and suddenly it hit me how far I've come.
I wanted to post this to first of all tell you thank you for all the support, knowledge, and insight. I couldn't have done it without this community. And secondly, to all you who are struggling to get past day 3, day 7, day 20, or whatever it is, STAY STRONG. It gets easier with time, and your quality of life will only grow as time passes.
I am still in the beginning of my journey, but if a mere 56 days has brought me this far, I cannot begin to imagine how I'll feel months from now... Stay strong guys - you can do it."
Wow, it sounds like he got really good results by abstaining. He didn't need to go abroad to have success with women.
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