Join John Adams, world renowned Intl Matchmaker, Thurs nights 8:30 EST for Live Webcasts with FREE Prizes!
And check out Five Reasons why you should attend a FREE Live AFA Seminar! See locations and details.


Scam free! Check out Christian Filipina - Meet Asian women with Christian values! Members screened.
Exclusive book offer! 75% off! How to Meet, Date and Marry Your Filipina Wife



View Active Topics       Latest 100 Topics       View Your Posts       FAQ Topics       Switch to Mobile


Would you be with woman that had 3some in the past?

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Re: Would you be with woman that had 3some in the past?

Postby publicduende » Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:01 pm

Jester wrote:A woman who has done this is human vermin. The male equivalent would be an Iraq veteran who deliberately shot a child. Steer clear.

A woman who has even FANTASIZED this is grandiose and narcissistic. Plus she will cut your heart out, unless you yourself are a hardened SOB. Steer clear, except for a fling of few nights. Even then, make sure you have another gf or two simultaneously, to keep yourself from getting in too deep. None of us are as invulnerable as we think.


Why all the fuss for somebody who might have simply wanted to experiment a sexual game? Having a 3some doesn't make a woman a slut in the sense that role-playing with handcuffs and whip doesn't make a woman (or a man) abusive or violent! I actually applaud the woman's honesty to reveal one of her past experience, or perhaps a current fetish of hers... Why do I every so often smell double-standard on this forum? The next thread to this could be one of us boasting about having sex with two 20-something hot Pinays on the same night, and everyone else duly coming to high-five him.
User avatar
publicduende
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2630
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:20 pm







Postby Maker55 » Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:10 pm

Fallouts wrote:
djfourmoney wrote:
I would date and marry a hoe or a p**n actress, nobody has given me a reason why not without some fear mongering (loose p***y, high expectations, outed in public) or religious overtones.



Image

Doesn't take a great leap of faith to realize that someone who is having sex with multiple partners ultimately will have a harder time settling down with just 1 person for the rest of their lives.


Right!

And we know that divorce leads to alimony and community property.

Lots of guys are so starved for the attention of women that they will settle for ANYTHING.

NEVER wife up a HOE!
You're where you're at in life because of your thoughts.

What you think about the most is what you will eventually manifest in your life.
Maker55
Junior Poster
 
Posts: 522
Joined: Sat Dec 17, 2011 12:08 am

Re: Would you be with woman that had 3some in the past?

Postby Ginger » Sun Nov 18, 2012 2:54 pm

publicduende wrote:
Jester wrote:A woman who has done this is human vermin. The male equivalent would be an Iraq veteran who deliberately shot a child. Steer clear.

A woman who has even FANTASIZED this is grandiose and narcissistic. Plus she will cut your heart out, unless you yourself are a hardened SOB. Steer clear, except for a fling of few nights. Even then, make sure you have another gf or two simultaneously, to keep yourself from getting in too deep. None of us are as invulnerable as we think.


Why all the fuss for somebody who might have simply wanted to experiment a sexual game? Having a 3some doesn't make a woman a slut in the sense that role-playing with handcuffs and whip doesn't make a woman (or a man) abusive or violent! I actually applaud the woman's honesty to reveal one of her past experience, or perhaps a current fetish of hers... Why do I every so often smell double-standard on this forum? The next thread to this could be one of us boasting about having sex with two 20-something hot Pinays on the same night, and everyone else duly coming to high-five him.



Uh oh, the other guys are soooo gonna burn you for saying this :P And maybe me too, coz I'm fully agreeing with you.
I do not promise to be gingerly :P
Ginger
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 391
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 8:39 pm
Location: somewhere out there

Postby Banano » Sun Nov 18, 2012 3:27 pm

publicduende/ginger

How many is too many in your opinion,where do you draw the line?10, 100,..?

What if she experimented with 5 guys instead of 2, would that make difference and why?
Banano
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2013
Joined: Sat Jun 11, 2011 8:26 am

Postby publicduende » Sun Nov 18, 2012 5:00 pm

Banano wrote:publicduende/ginger

How many is too many in your opinion,where do you draw the line?10, 100,..?

What if she experimented with 5 guys instead of 2, would that make difference and why?


I think the limit is not in the "quantity" but the spirit with which she did it. If she did it only once with 2 men, out of curiosity, that's one thing. If she does it every week with 4 random men unbeknownst to her husband, that's another thing...
User avatar
publicduende
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2630
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:20 pm

Re: Would you be with woman that had 3some in the past?

Postby Ghost » Sun Nov 18, 2012 10:41 pm

Ginger wrote:
publicduende wrote:
Jester wrote:A woman who has done this is human vermin. The male equivalent would be an Iraq veteran who deliberately shot a child. Steer clear.

A woman who has even FANTASIZED this is grandiose and narcissistic. Plus she will cut your heart out, unless you yourself are a hardened SOB. Steer clear, except for a fling of few nights. Even then, make sure you have another gf or two simultaneously, to keep yourself from getting in too deep. None of us are as invulnerable as we think.


Why all the fuss for somebody who might have simply wanted to experiment a sexual game? Having a 3some doesn't make a woman a slut in the sense that role-playing with handcuffs and whip doesn't make a woman (or a man) abusive or violent! I actually applaud the woman's honesty to reveal one of her past experience, or perhaps a current fetish of hers... Why do I every so often smell double-standard on this forum? The next thread to this could be one of us boasting about having sex with two 20-something hot Pinays on the same night, and everyone else duly coming to high-five him.



Uh oh, the other guys are soooo gonna burn you for saying this :P And maybe me too, coz I'm fully agreeing with you.


Women are less able to bond the more men they sleep with. And it is a double standard...men and women are different. A different standard for two different beings. Male sexual value is determined by how many women he can have sex with. A woman's sexual value is determined by how chaste she is before marriage, and being faithful to a man after being married. Liberal culture can try to say it isn't true, but it will still be.

Ginger, why not just call yourself a feminist? Men here would probably appreciate the honesty at least. If you take feminist positions as you often do, then you are one anyway. I'm not trying to "burn" you. This forum is much more open and honest than most. Since you take a lot of feminist positions on these matters, then why not just call yourself a feminist?
Ghost
Elite Upper Class Poster
 
Posts: 5749
Joined: Sun Apr 17, 2011 1:23 am

Postby lone_yakuza » Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:05 am

.
Last edited by lone_yakuza on Sun Nov 20, 2016 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
lone_yakuza
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 454
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 3:48 pm

Postby lone_yakuza » Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:08 am

.
Last edited by lone_yakuza on Sun Nov 20, 2016 2:14 pm, edited 1 time in total.
lone_yakuza
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 454
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 3:48 pm

Re: Would you be with woman that had 3some in the past?

Postby Ginger » Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:35 am

Ghost wrote:
Ginger wrote:
publicduende wrote:
Jester wrote:A woman who has done this is human vermin. The male equivalent would be an Iraq veteran who deliberately shot a child. Steer clear.

A woman who has even FANTASIZED this is grandiose and narcissistic. Plus she will cut your heart out, unless you yourself are a hardened SOB. Steer clear, except for a fling of few nights. Even then, make sure you have another gf or two simultaneously, to keep yourself from getting in too deep. None of us are as invulnerable as we think.


Why all the fuss for somebody who might have simply wanted to experiment a sexual game? Having a 3some doesn't make a woman a slut in the sense that role-playing with handcuffs and whip doesn't make a woman (or a man) abusive or violent! I actually applaud the woman's honesty to reveal one of her past experience, or perhaps a current fetish of hers... Why do I every so often smell double-standard on this forum? The next thread to this could be one of us boasting about having sex with two 20-something hot Pinays on the same night, and everyone else duly coming to high-five him.



Uh oh, the other guys are soooo gonna burn you for saying this :P And maybe me too, coz I'm fully agreeing with you.


Women are less able to bond the more men they sleep with. And it is a double standard...men and women are different. A different standard for two different beings. Male sexual value is determined by how many women he can have sex with. A woman's sexual value is determined by how chaste she is before marriage, and being faithful to a man after being married. Liberal culture can try to say it isn't true, but it will still be.

Ginger, why not just call yourself a feminist? Men here would probably appreciate the honesty at least. If you take feminist positions as you often do, then you are one anyway. I'm not trying to "burn" you. This forum is much more open and honest than most. Since you take a lot of feminist positions on these matters, then why not just call yourself a feminist?


Ghost, it is obvious you did not read all my posts and are basing your assumption on your unnatural fear of women. Look how you singled me out for agreeing with what PD said. Why only me? Why not him as well?

It is pointless to try to stop you from labeling me. You did not only call me a feminist but a liar as well. How come you did not call me that when I'm agreeing with your opinions? Where is the justice in that?

One thing I learned dealing with people suffering from delusions is that it's ultimately better to ignore them, hence, I shall be ignoring you.
I do not promise to be gingerly :P
Ginger
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 391
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 8:39 pm
Location: somewhere out there

Postby Ginger » Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:39 am

lone_yakuza wrote:I'm also gonna have to disagree with all sides. Both publicduende/ginger's side and ghost's side. Neither men nor women should have the right to whore around/sleep around. It lessens the ability of BOTH parties to form meaningful bonds once they have been f***ed that many times.

It is what contributes to jealousy, needless drama, and social decay. It turns men and brothers against each other and girls and sisters against each other. It turns men against women.

Humans are already inherently a bunch of sinners, undisciplined animals, liars, selfish pieces of filth, arrogant, narcissistic, etc. etc. Without morals, which was the wisdom of past cultures/civilizations, this social breakdown was/is inevitable.

You know that in certain parts of China/Japan/Manchuria/Korea, in the past, adultery was punishable by death for both parties? This was also before men were allowed to have concubines or multiple wives, as having concubines/multiple wives has not always been present in these cultures, and fairly certain that it was not that common in Japan. This is also at the villager/middle-class level so we are not talking about powerful lords who were able to have multiple women because of money. In these villages/small towns, men caught f***ing anybody except their wife were beheaded or castrated, usually beheaded. Women caught f***ing anybody except their husband were either beheaded or drawn and quartered.


There IS a reason monogamy was invented... as a means of social order so that jealousy and infighting and hatred between men or between women or between men and women could be lessened. Also, with monogamy most men are able to find a wife, while with this dating scene/clusterfuck, only the top 5% are able to get quality women and only the top 15% are able to get any women.



Actually my beliefs are very close to yours.

I was merely agreeing with PD that people should at least be fair and not judge simply based on gender.
I do not promise to be gingerly :P
Ginger
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 391
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 8:39 pm
Location: somewhere out there

Postby Ginger » Mon Nov 19, 2012 12:46 am

publicduende wrote:
Banano wrote:publicduende/ginger

How many is too many in your opinion,where do you draw the line?10, 100,..?

What if she experimented with 5 guys instead of 2, would that make difference and why?


I think the limit is not in the "quantity" but the spirit with which she did it. If she did it only once with 2 men, out of curiosity, that's one thing. If she does it every week with 4 random men unbeknownst to her husband, that's another thing...


Agree with this, however, I still do not support nor advocate such practice.

But I do know men who are turned on by such practices, particularly if their girl includes them on it. If it makes both parties happy, then to each his own. My job is more of teaching people to be safe when they do engage in such activities and not to judge them as long as they are not asking me to join in.
I do not promise to be gingerly :P
Ginger
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 391
Joined: Thu Nov 01, 2012 8:39 pm
Location: somewhere out there

Re: Would you be with woman that had 3some in the past?

Postby publicduende » Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:10 am

Ghost wrote:Women are less able to bond the more men they sleep with. And it is a double standard...men and women are different. A different standard for two different beings. Male sexual value is determined by how many women he can have sex with. A woman's sexual value is determined by how chaste she is before marriage, and being faithful to a man after being married. Liberal culture can try to say it isn't true, but it will still be.

Ginger, why not just call yourself a feminist? Men here would probably appreciate the honesty at least. If you take feminist positions as you often do, then you are one anyway. I'm not trying to "burn" you. This forum is much more open and honest than most. Since you take a lot of feminist positions on these matters, then why not just call yourself a feminist?


Ginger's opinion or mine are as "feminist" as your statement in bold is a tired war cry of male chauvinism. Regardless of what two centuries of gender equality struggles and social progress have done to the woman's condition, your definitions of male and female sexual values might be right or wrong entirely depending on the context and individual opinion. Most religions and philosophies places value on chastity and sexual restraint both on males and females. Retrograde, male-dominated cultures such as those in traditional Islam will condemn pre-marital or adultery on a woman but tolerate the hordes of rich Saudi or Dubai kids who crowd the poshest strip clubs in London or Vegas. Elsewhere, one of our most senior and respected fellow posters has just said that exhibiting "high sexual value" by sleeping with lots of young women from poor countries, without paying attention to the emotional bonding aspect that comes with sex, is a recipe for a hardened heart full of painful memories. And I could go on.

I would say that, in a modern and fair society, it's down to the individual - man or woman - to engage in whatever form of sexual conduct they desire, provided:
1) it's done in a context of mutual acceptance, if not consent - and this is where I think the polyamorous/polygamy intuition is right, and
2) the benefits coming from a more promiscuous, playful and exploratory sexual behaviour are well balanced by the awareness that it's always best to develop a strong bond - ie. love - with a single partner.

I don't see how both points above can be fulfilled unless both parties in the couple are given equal dignity and rights to discuss their desires and fantasies with the other, and find mutually-accepted ways to fulfil them. I also don't see why the man should be considered naturally better at loving one woman while f***ing many. It's a myth, if you ask me. We're talking about two consenting adults who love and respect each other, and with similar levels of emotional and sexual maturity.

I still remember one of my first posts on the forum was asking for your opinion on the matter of swinging as way to engage in a more libertine and playful sexual life while retaining the benefits of love and respect from a single partner. I don't know the swinging scene too much as I never tried myself, but if I were to try with my wife, the first rule would be that both of us would have to get a fair share of the "action" and the enjoyment coming from one such lifestyle.
User avatar
publicduende
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2630
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:20 pm

Postby publicduende » Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:24 am

lone_yakuza wrote:I'm also gonna have to disagree with all sides. Both publicduende/ginger's side and ghost's side. Neither men nor women should have the right to whore around/sleep around. It lessens the ability of BOTH parties to form meaningful bonds once they have been f***ed that many times.

It is what contributes to jealousy, needless drama, and social decay. It turns men and brothers against each other and girls and sisters against each other. It turns men against women.

Humans are already inherently a bunch of sinners, undisciplined animals, liars, selfish pieces of filth, arrogant, narcissistic, etc. etc. Without morals, which was the wisdom of past cultures/civilizations, this social breakdown was/is inevitable.

You know that in certain parts of China/Japan/Manchuria/Korea, in the past, adultery was punishable by death for both parties? This was also before men were allowed to have concubines or multiple wives, as having concubines/multiple wives has not always been present in these cultures, and fairly certain that it was not that common in Japan. This is also at the villager/middle-class level so we are not talking about powerful lords who were able to have multiple women because of money. In these villages/small towns, men caught f***ing anybody except their wife were beheaded or castrated, usually beheaded. Women caught f***ing anybody except their husband were either beheaded or drawn and quartered.

There IS a reason monogamy was invented... as a means of social order so that jealousy and infighting and hatred between men or between women or between men and women could be lessened. Also, with monogamy most men are able to find a wife, while with this dating scene/clusterfuck, only the top 5% are able to get quality women and only the top 15% are able to get any women.


If anything, it's cheating, or the obsession with one partner cheating the other, that creates jealousy and needless drama. If society was more just and recognised equal dignity to the man's and the woman's sexual desires, you would see that mutually-arranged outlets like sex parties, swingings and other "games" would be much more accepted than having a couple of random lovers at the back the other half of the couple.

I am absolutely certain that, in 90% of the cases, what a man and a woman are looking in an affair is either something that complements or replaces what they cannot (or can no longer) get from the partner - understanding, complicity, tenderness, or even sexual performance - or an outlet for a repressed desire that they are too scared or embarassed to reveal to their partners. In most cases, if the couple is already in good love and harmony, the only reason to find sex outside the couple is to fulfil a fantasy. This is where, I believe, honesty on both parts can be the best way forward, and much more rewarding than a hidden lover in the long run. I don't want to say anything shocking here, I see that kind of openness and honesty as a sign of emotional maturity in the couple, not a sign of an overactive horny male or a young woman doomed to become a slut.

I agree with you in that monogamy was "invented" to provide every man with at least one good woman. Many primitive patriarchal societies would promote polygamy as long as the man was able to love and provide to all his wives on a dignified, equal basis. Moral sense might change over time, and I believe it's only fitting that a modern society that values gender equality stops placing unnecessary bias on a more promiscuous and playful sexual conduct whether it's a man or a woman who has it.
User avatar
publicduende
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2630
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:20 pm

Postby publicduende » Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:28 am

Ginger wrote:Agree with this, however, I still do not support nor advocate such practice.

But I do know men who are turned on by such practices, particularly if their girl includes them on it. If it makes both parties happy, then to each his own. My job is more of teaching people to be safe when they do engage in such activities and not to judge them as long as they are not asking me to join in.


We should make a distinction here. Some of us are talking about the idea of engaging in sexual promiscuity without ever bonding (ie. falling in love) with any of the occasional partners. Some others (including myself) are talking about already having a stable relationship and a good bond of mutual love and trust, and then choosing to spice up the couple's sexual lives by being more promiscuous. In the latter case, as you say, to each his own!
User avatar
publicduende
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2630
Joined: Wed Nov 30, 2011 5:20 pm

Postby lone_yakuza » Mon Nov 19, 2012 1:55 am

.
Last edited by lone_yakuza on Sun Nov 20, 2016 2:13 pm, edited 1 time in total.
lone_yakuza
Freshman Poster
 
Posts: 454
Joined: Sat Nov 03, 2012 3:48 pm

PreviousNext

Return to General Discussions

Who is online

Users browsing this forum: MSNbot Media and 9 guests