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I'm 28 and I dont feel the need to hurry up in the marriage arena.
I do enjoy the company of women as I find them intoxicating. I am in the good ole USA and my prospects are an uphill battle. Not impossible but there is work to be done.
Women preoccupy my head just like any other guy. My lack of desirability affects my well-being, it feels like things should not be this hard??? This is why i'm in this forum.
I could ignore the women issue and resolve to increase my value to society. I mean I do I get them but not the quality or quantity that I desire or think I deserve.
Basically is access to women really important aspect of my life and well being? I feel that things should not be like this...
Is it foreign women or that act of leaving the US aka living abroad?
"So never refuse an invitation, never resist the unfamiliar, never fail to be polite and never outstay the welcome. Just keep your mind open and suck in the experience. And if it hurts, you know what? It's probably worth it."
Like to read?Third World Hero
Like to see?3WorldHero -- Did he really just do that?
One cannot hold another person for his/her happiness. If you think getting a girl will make you happy, then you will never be happy... Unless you first find it within your self.
I do not promise to be gingerly
No matter if he found happiness within himself or not if he cant get women thats on his level he will never be happy.
You giving us typical female bs cliche that problem is within ourselves.
You dont know what its like to be average Joe in USa so you cant relate, guy either gets nothing or sometimes he get some leftovers.
Man needs woman to validate his manhood something prostitute cant do and if all you getting is older, ugly, fat women you will feel shit about yourself,
Basically is access to women really important aspect of my life and well being?
It is very important, without it you will become lonely, isolated, self esteem will suffer, you ll get hooked on porn which will f**k up your brain, make you socially akward, depressed..dont think some hobby will fix the problem, thats just gonna delay inevetable and create George Sodini case
come on i am dude and i will say the same as ginger though she is only female . this p***y addiction is ridiculous. outside validation is bullshit though hard to ignore. but some things in life have to be managed. when life is to hard then you are to weak. no problem in the end we will be dead eather way.
most guys donÂ´t want happiness as itÂ´s to much work. they want to go the easy way which is the hard way.
donÂ´t get banana
I'm talking about chasing blinkers. I personally know someone who has bedded the hottest chicks (his dream chicks), but even after that, he feels something is lacking, so now he is after uglies for what you call as 'validation' and perhaps a need for redemption. I've known similar stories. I deal with f**k*d up people as part of my job dealing with shrinking (but I'm not a shrink). It's the same story ALWAYS, the blinker might change name, but it's just a blink away from disappearing into thin air.
Again, CHASING BLINKERS
*twinkle twinkle little blinker* And it always goes in a disappointing pouf!
Anyway, maybe you are right that I simply do not understand, after all, I'm 'female'. Whatever being female means in your vocabulary.
For the record, I did not say the problem is within the person, I said, the solution can be found within the self.
I'll respect the fact that you might be super sereal about this topic
I do not promise to be gingerly
Well you can always become a monk, there's plenty of those in Tibet or in Thailand. Raise a couple of lamas or tigers, meditate with your "brothers", smoke some weed and try to find that inner happiness that Ginger is talking about. You'll either become the happiest man on earth or a child molester.
I really liked those hierarchies of needs they used to teach in school:
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Maslow%27s ... y_of_needs
A person needs all of that to feel truly happy. If you have poor health then a woman will most likely not bring you happiness. If you have a wonderful wife but no money and no friends again I don't think that's ideal.
You nailed it
I do not promise to be gingerly
Im not saying having women with make him happy for life but not getting them will make him very sad.
What HA members are suggesting is that you dont need women to be happy, you could rub one out on a daily basis n have somke, you can always turn to harder drugs, invest in good quality blow up doll, become gay and you ll get lot of sex in USA, there are always alternative
p***y is overrated dick is cheap
Okay I understand you now.
I guess it's the same for females (at least for me). Just knowing that what you find attractive also finds you attractive does feel good Mutual fulfillment does wonders for the self esteem of persons involved, it's like a culmination of forces, building and peaking to higher crescendos and erupting in a light show.
Note to self: talk normal english lol
I do not promise to be gingerly
You are speaking from an extremely dysfunctional environment- pathologically dysfunctional in fact.
Most of the world assumes that men will have women. It is not a big deal. It is not some magical key
to your happiness, (As American p***y peddlers would want you to believe) but part of a complete life.
If you are a healthy man, you want a woman in your bed. Most of the world understands and accommodates that
A wise man may make sure that the woman in his bed is a good one...like good mother material, a good companion and so forth.
A woman who is beautiful and also has good character, she is well aware that she needs to be wise about who she chooses as a mate.
Are you the man that would be a wise choice for such a woman?
We all cut our deals. Some men are too old, or feel homely, or they don't have much money. Take the best you can be and put it in front of the best women you can find, and odds are, someone wants to cut a deal. That is pretty much the way the world works outside the USA.
One way or the other, outside the USA is is usually assumed that you will have a woman, one way or the other.
Some men have mistresses of sorts, or part time wives, regular vacation GFs...all kinds of things, and it is not my job to tell them
how to manage their lives. When I met my wife, I did not have a wife in mind at all. Other things in my life were the priority at the moment, but I walked into a cafe in Cagayan de Oro and she also came in as a customer. I stuck up a conversation with her, completely determined to NOT let her get away! Nothing happens in a vacuum. Would that same encounter have happened in the USA? Certainly not. You have to pick the pond you fish in...
mguy if you go to a restaurant or order something online & you end up getting the wrong thing that's never good. ... it's the same with women and men. .... it's all chance' & probability'. You never know what or who you will end up with.
The fact that you're asking this question here means that you are in search of someone ... the thing is you have to find a girl that makes you happy. If a relationship has more bad days than good you'll need to cut your losses and move on to the next one.
- It's easy to give, when you know what it's like to have nothing. -
- Develop a backbone, not a wishbone. -
I think you made a good point Outwest. It goes hand in hand with the op's question: "Basically is access to women really important aspect of my life and well being? I feel that things should not be like this..."
Finding a decent woman should be natural, especially if you have everything going for you (health, money, good friends, good family). Things should definitely not be like this.Yet in NA it's somehow very complicated. You have tons of dating "advisors", dating websites, speed dating, pua etc and ofc Hollywood portraying dating as a a game, a grueling process which will lead to happily ever after endings
Just watch This Means War for a perfect example of a trash movie that puts women on a pedestral (old ones at that since Reese Witherspoon is well past her prime). It's a whole industry centered around playing tricks with other people's heads.
when my korean ex gf stayed over at my house for an entire week, it really was a week of continuous bliss, spending all day every day together. i live with my parents who only go away once a year so i never got to test how much longer this continuous bliss would last. probably a few months at most, then living with her would just seem normal and id begin seeking happiness from other sources. then eventually we may have grown tired of eachother and living together may have became a negative thing. this is how most marriages pan out in modern times.
we all know heroin gives you the most tremendous feeling in the world, yet most of us dont do it because we also know it is very unlasting and brings with it an array of negative effects. well everything in this world you can seek happiness from is no different to heroin, just less extreme to various degrees. so the answer is to refrain from seeking happiness in anything and see where it leads you when you simply be as you are without desiring and anticipating. most of you will never try this, and most of you will live lives filled with frustration and disappointment.