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You can't buy time.

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You can't buy time.

Postby drealm » Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:39 am

I'm going to be 26 years old in a few days. The last decade was spent in isolation with no woman, no friends and no sense of family. I question what I can really change in my life. More importantly I question how much time I need or if time has already passed me by.

Does the happier abroad approach really fix anything? Sure you can go abroad, find a woman, maybe even someone younger. But the true value of a relationship is measured in your shared history together. When you date someone your own age you feel less alone in the world. When you date someone younger you feel like a voyer looking into a passage of time you don't belong to. Young women have the lure of transporting you back in time but the truth is you'll never be able to see the world as you did in your youth. When you're younger you have the innocence of believing there's one special person for you. As you age you realize whomever you love isn't special. Many parallel lives could of existed and you would of found a different person in every one of them.

As a teenager I felt the world was an unexplored place full of new experiences to capture. Now I see every experience as something that will eventually wear and tear with the passage of time. Every friend I made in my youth is long gone. Meeting new people is a short lived product of where I work and changes with every move I make. The church I attend only has elderly clinging to it out of habit before they pass away. Life long relationships don't seem to exist anymore. We no longer measure relationships in years but variety.

Family has a unique feeling of bridging a gap in a world dominated by strangers. As I look at my family I see something that will fade away as I grow older. My brother doesn't spend a single holiday with me because he's a Jehovas witness. My mother dates random sleazy men and has cocoon'ed herself with other middle aged women that encourage escapades. My father is 74 years old and both his parents died at age 75. My children will not have a grandfather.

My overal reflection here is that the world doesn't provide anything of meaning anymore. You can't build a 500 year old city in a day. Even if it's identical brick by brick, it won't have the stories that brought it to life. Nor is it easy to experience anything of depth in a time and era that doesn't let anything mature. The world feels empty and lonely in spite of it being full to the brink.
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Postby Cornfed » Sat Dec 01, 2012 9:49 am

Yup, you picked a shitty time to be alive.
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Postby Ginger » Sat Dec 01, 2012 10:01 am

:)
Last edited by Ginger on Wed Jul 03, 2013 11:58 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby abcdavid01 » Sat Dec 01, 2012 5:19 pm

Christsake man, you're 26. Go date a 20 year old, that's totally fine. Men always date younger. A 26 year old dating a 20 year old is like a perfect pairing.
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Re: You can't buy time.

Postby Teal Lantern » Sat Dec 01, 2012 7:03 pm

drealm wrote:I'm going to be 26 years old in a few days. The last decade was spent in isolation with no woman, no friends and no sense of family. I question what I can really change in my life. More importantly I question how much time I need or if time has already passed me by.

Does the happier abroad approach really fix anything? Sure you can go abroad, find a woman, maybe even someone younger. But the true value of a relationship is measured in your shared history together. When you date someone your own age you feel less alone in the world. When you date someone younger you feel like a voyer looking into a passage of time you don't belong to. Young women have the lure of transporting you back in time but the truth is you'll never be able to see the world as you did in your youth. When you're younger you have the innocence of believing there's one special person for you. As you age you realize whomever you love isn't special. Many parallel lives could of existed and you would of found a different person in every one of them.

As a teenager I felt the world was an unexplored place full of new experiences to capture. Now I see every experience as something that will eventually wear and tear with the passage of time. Every friend I made in my youth is long gone. Meeting new people is a short lived product of where I work and changes with every move I make. The church I attend only has elderly clinging to it out of habit before they pass away. Life long relationships don't seem to exist anymore. We no longer measure relationships in years but variety.

Family has a unique feeling of bridging a gap in a world dominated by strangers. As I look at my family I see something that will fade away as I grow older. My brother doesn't spend a single holiday with me because he's a Jehovas witness. My mother dates random sleazy men and has cocoon'ed herself with other middle aged women that encourage escapades. My father is 74 years old and both his parents died at age 75. My children will not have a grandfather.

My overal reflection here is that the world doesn't provide anything of meaning anymore. You can't build a 500 year old city in a day. Even if it's identical brick by brick, it won't have the stories that brought it to life. Nor is it easy to experience anything of depth in a time and era that doesn't let anything mature. The world feels empty and lonely in spite of it being full to the brink.


As you get closer to 30, you are going to start getting more attention than you know what to do with from women who are approaching the end of their best carousel-riding days. You'll need to know how best to deal with that. (The uninitiated will wonder why they are suddenly attractive to so many women and will mistakenly conclude "Must be my 'game' has finally started working." :lol:)

You have the benefit of forums where other men discuss their past & current dealings and how to avoid the same mistakes. That's like downloading years of experience for the cost of hours, all without the emotional, financial, or physical scars.

You get free lessons in your 20s of what previous generations of men didn't learn until many years later at much higher cost.
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Postby Rock » Sat Dec 01, 2012 7:38 pm

abcdavid01 wrote:Christsake man, you're 26. Go date a 20 year old, that's totally fine. Men always date younger. A 26 year old dating a 20 year old is like a perfect pairing.


You missed his point. He knows he can do that but its still not the same as being young again.
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Postby abcdavid01 » Sat Dec 01, 2012 8:40 pm

I disagree though. I'm saying women mature faster than men. They run on different time scales. So it's a bit of a fallacy to think they're really younger. I don't think it's voyeuristic at all.
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Re: You can't buy time.

Postby davewe » Sat Dec 01, 2012 10:03 pm

drealm wrote:I'm going to be 26 years old in a few days. The last decade was spent in isolation with no woman, no friends and no sense of family. I question what I can really change in my life. More importantly I question how much time I need or if time has already passed me by.

Does the happier abroad approach really fix anything? Sure you can go abroad, find a woman, maybe even someone younger. But the true value of a relationship is measured in your shared history together. When you date someone your own age you feel less alone in the world. When you date someone younger you feel like a voyer looking into a passage of time you don't belong to. Young women have the lure of transporting you back in time but the truth is you'll never be able to see the world as you did in your youth. When you're younger you have the innocence of believing there's one special person for you. As you age you realize whomever you love isn't special. Many parallel lives could of existed and you would of found a different person in every one of them.

As a teenager I felt the world was an unexplored place full of new experiences to capture. Now I see every experience as something that will eventually wear and tear with the passage of time. Every friend I made in my youth is long gone. Meeting new people is a short lived product of where I work and changes with every move I make. The church I attend only has elderly clinging to it out of habit before they pass away. Life long relationships don't seem to exist anymore. We no longer measure relationships in years but variety.

Family has a unique feeling of bridging a gap in a world dominated by strangers. As I look at my family I see something that will fade away as I grow older. My brother doesn't spend a single holiday with me because he's a Jehovas witness. My mother dates random sleazy men and has cocoon'ed herself with other middle aged women that encourage escapades. My father is 74 years old and both his parents died at age 75. My children will not have a grandfather.

My overal reflection here is that the world doesn't provide anything of meaning anymore. You can't build a 500 year old city in a day. Even if it's identical brick by brick, it won't have the stories that brought it to life. Nor is it easy to experience anything of depth in a time and era that doesn't let anything mature. The world feels empty and lonely in spite of it being full to the brink.


Depending on your temperament you may always deal with this sort of emotion. But it is an emotional reaction not reality. I have a clear and vivid memory of being depressed when I turned 20, no longer a teenager. But in fact my teenage years were not so great - what was I nostalgic about? And of course turning 30 is a biggie for most people. I spent my 40th birthday on my 1st date with my now ex-wife, so that memory is bitter-sweet. My 50th was a hysterical train wreck, worthy of a "Hangover" type movie.

And now I am quickly approaching the next major milestone. And still I fret. It's my nature and perhaps it is yours. This despite having a great job, enough money to do most of what I want to do, nice home and car, great kids; yet still I worry about my past and future. I haven't dated anyone less than 20 years younger than me in years or less than 30 over the last few. I don't care whether anyone likes it or even believes me; I know what and who I like and try to stick to those sorts of women.

At 26 most men are still very concerned with what others think of them. I guess my message is that as you age and mature you'll care less of what society and other men think of you and more about what you think about yourself. My guess is that your sadness that "the world feels empty and lonely in spite of it being full to the brink," has more to do with what others around you want and believe than what you want and believe. Decide what you like and want and go for it. You know all the cliches about only having one go-round at life - all of them are true.
Last edited by davewe on Sun Dec 02, 2012 12:19 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: You can't buy time.

Postby Banano » Sat Dec 01, 2012 11:09 pm

davewe wrote:
drealm wrote:I'm going to be 26 years old in a few days. The last decade was spent in isolation with no woman, no friends and no sense of family. I question what I can really change in my life. More importantly I question how much time I need or if time has already passed me by.

Does the happier abroad approach really fix anything? Sure you can go abroad, find a woman, maybe even someone younger. But the true value of a relationship is measured in your shared history together. When you date someone your own age you feel less alone in the world. When you date someone younger you feel like a voyer looking into a passage of time you don't belong to. Young women have the lure of transporting you back in time but the truth is you'll never be able to see the world as you did in your youth. When you're younger you have the innocence of believing there's one special person for you. As you age you realize whomever you love isn't special. Many parallel lives could of existed and you would of found a different person in every one of them.

As a teenager I felt the world was an unexplored place full of new experiences to capture. Now I see every experience as something that will eventually wear and tear with the passage of time. Every friend I made in my youth is long gone. Meeting new people is a short lived product of where I work and changes with every move I make. The church I attend only has elderly clinging to it out of habit before they pass away. Life long relationships don't seem to exist anymore. We no longer measure relationships in years but variety.

Family has a unique feeling of bridging a gap in a world dominated by strangers. As I look at my family I see something that will fade away as I grow older. My brother doesn't spend a single holiday with me because he's a Jehovas witness. My mother dates random sleazy men and has cocoon'ed herself with other middle aged women that encourage escapades. My father is 74 years old and both his parents died at age 75. My children will not have a grandfather.

My overal reflection here is that the world doesn't provide anything of meaning anymore. You can't build a 500 year old city in a day. Even if it's identical brick by brick, it won't have the stories that brought it to life. Nor is it easy to experience anything of depth in a time and era that doesn't let anything mature. The world feels empty and lonely in spite of it being full to the brink.


Depending on your temperament you may always deal with this sort of emotion. But it is an emotional reaction not reality. I have a clear and vivid memory of being depressed when I turned 20, no longer a teenager. But in fact my teenage years were not so great - what was I nostalgic about? And of course turning 30 is a biggie for most people. I spent my 40th birthday on my 1st date with my now ex-wife, so that memory is bitter-sweet. My 50th was a hysterical train wreck, worthy of a "Hangover" type movie.

And now I am quickly approaching the next major milestone. And still I fret. It's my nature and perhaps it is yours. This despite having a great job, enough money to do most of what I want to do, nice home and car, great kids; yet still I worry about my past and future. I haven't dated anyone less than 20 years younger than me in years or less than 30 over the last few. I don't care whether anyone likes it or even believes me; I know what and who I like and try to stick to those sorts of women.

At 26 most men are still very concerned with what others think of them. I guess my message is that as you age and mature you'll care less of what society and other men think of you and more about what you think about yourself. Decide what you like and want and go for it. You know all the cliches about only having one go-round at life - all of them are true.



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Postby noog » Sun Dec 02, 2012 1:53 am

That was a very existential rant. Be glad that you are wise for your young age.
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Re: You can't buy time.

Postby leavingusa » Sun Dec 02, 2012 3:18 am

drealm wrote:I'm going to be 26 years old in a few days. The last decade was spent in isolation with no woman, no friends and no sense of family. I question what I can really change in my life. More importantly I question how much time I need or if time has already passed me by.

Does the happier abroad approach really fix anything? Sure you can go abroad, find a woman, maybe even someone younger. But the true value of a relationship is measured in your shared history together. When you date someone your own age you feel less alone in the world. When you date someone younger you feel like a voyer looking into a passage of time you don't belong to. Young women have the lure of transporting you back in time but the truth is you'll never be able to see the world as you did in your youth. When you're younger you have the innocence of believing there's one special person for you. As you age you realize whomever you love isn't special. Many parallel lives could of existed and you would of found a different person in every one of them.

As a teenager I felt the world was an unexplored place full of new experiences to capture. Now I see every experience as something that will eventually wear and tear with the passage of time. Every friend I made in my youth is long gone. Meeting new people is a short lived product of where I work and changes with every move I make. The church I attend only has elderly clinging to it out of habit before they pass away. Life long relationships don't seem to exist anymore. We no longer measure relationships in years but variety.

Family has a unique feeling of bridging a gap in a world dominated by strangers. As I look at my family I see something that will fade away as I grow older. My brother doesn't spend a single holiday with me because he's a Jehovas witness. My mother dates random sleazy men and has cocoon'ed herself with other middle aged women that encourage escapades. My father is 74 years old and both his parents died at age 75. My children will not have a grandfather.

My overal reflection here is that the world doesn't provide anything of meaning anymore. You can't build a 500 year old city in a day. Even if it's identical brick by brick, it won't have the stories that brought it to life. Nor is it easy to experience anything of depth in a time and era that doesn't let anything mature. The world feels empty and lonely in spite of it being full to the brink.


Good post, you are absolutely right. I wish I could tell you there was something you can do with that information.

Someone mentioned that men over 30 get a lot of attention, they are eying your resources. Most women do not find men more than a few years older attractive unless it's a daddy fetish. They don't want to hang out with you endlessly, they have a goal in mind.

I never had anything in common with women, we don't like the same things. It's always about entertaining her or finding something to do together - one moronic expensive activity after another.
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Re: You can't buy time.

Postby Ghost » Sun Dec 02, 2012 6:00 am

-----
Last edited by Ghost on Sat Oct 22, 2016 3:34 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby odbo » Wed Dec 05, 2012 11:08 am

If you have nothing to live for think about having children. I know many of you treat this like a death sentence but that belief was given to you by the same "tribe" that demoralized you in the first place. You have a perverted perception of reality and probably the best way to regain your sight is to go live amongst healthy people (you won't find this in America). You can also read old books and try to imagine (or remember back to your childhood) how life was before this corrupted period. Religions may also provide guidance.

Life has many stages. Only in a sick society like America do they focus on the high school prom as the climax of your life. Life is not a contest for who has had the most fun, it is ultimately a test.

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Postby OzGuy » Wed Dec 05, 2012 12:39 pm

I felt exactly the same as you. I am going on 30 this year and the past 12 years of my life have been wasted with isolation, depression and no friends. I was an introvert living in an extroverted country (Australia) and never felt like I fit in.

So finally this year I decided to do something about it. I packed my stuff and moved to the other side of the world (Switzerland). I had never even been to Europe before and here I was moving to a country I have never been before and can't even speak the native language.

Since being here a few months I can say it was the best decision of my life. I now have a German girlfriend who is absolutely perfect and puts Aussie women to shame. I also fit into the culture more as it is an introverted culture.

Do not worry about approaching 30, the best years of your dating life are yet to come! Once you hit 30's you are actually MORE desirable to women, and the tables slowly start to turn.

Do yourself a favor and get out of the anglosphere first. Pack up and start a new life elsewhere. You won't regret it!
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Postby Voice of Reason » Wed Dec 05, 2012 3:50 pm

OzGuy wrote:I felt exactly the same as you. I am going on 30 this year and the past 12 years of my life have been wasted with isolation, depression and no friends. I was an introvert living in an extroverted country (Australia) and never felt like I fit in.

So finally this year I decided to do something about it. I packed my stuff and moved to the other side of the world (Switzerland). I had never even been to Europe before and here I was moving to a country I have never been before and can't even speak the native language.

Since being here a few months I can say it was the best decision of my life. I now have a German girlfriend who is absolutely perfect and puts Aussie women to shame. I also fit into the culture more as it is an introverted culture.

Do not worry about approaching 30, the best years of your dating life are yet to come! Once you hit 30's you are actually MORE desirable to women, and the tables slowly start to turn.

Do yourself a favor and get out of the anglosphere first. Pack up and start a new life elsewhere. You won't regret it!


+1

(Glad to see that you are now "Happier Abroad" and no longer in a country that is so toxic)
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