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No desire to get married???

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Postby mguy » December 8th, 2012, 9:48 pm

most guys at 20 - 30 marry because they are scared of being old and lonely.

Is this true?

Is being old and lonely really that bad? :)
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Postby skateboardstephen » December 8th, 2012, 11:26 pm

mguy wrote:most guys at 20 - 30 marry because they are scared of being old and lonely.

Is this true?

Is being old and lonely really that bad? :)
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Postby Teal Lantern » December 9th, 2012, 8:23 am

mguy wrote:most guys at 20 - 30 marry because they are scared of being old and lonely.

Is this true?

Is being old and lonely really that bad? :)


Fully half of those guys are still going to wind up old, lonely, and poorer, for their trouble.
What do you consider old? 50? 60? 70?

If you make it to "old" age with your finances, health, and sanity intact, you'll have the option of as much or as little company as you want.

Look at how easy traveling, connecting to, and exchanging info (for free) with other people around the world has become in the last 20 years. Now, extrapolate that out another 20 years. :shock:

Ask older people about the bad old days when there was just ONE phone company and long distance calls (even state-to-state) were billed by the minute. :wink:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=la28Yb-4Uss[/youtube]
Last edited by Teal Lantern on December 9th, 2012, 11:31 am, edited 1 time in total.
не поглеждай назад. 8)

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Postby leavingusa » December 9th, 2012, 9:18 am

S_Parc wrote:
djfourmoney wrote:
S_Parc wrote:
Jacaré wrote:I might reconsider it in 10 years from now when I've found a truly wonderful woman that I can have a deep connection with and who won't bore me and be nagging. Only time will tell as to whether such a woman is out there...


IMHO, don't count on this happening.


Marriage and dare I say relationships with the opposite sex is not for every male.


My general philosophy is that the expression "hindsight is 20/20", is a type of cop out/rationalization, after the fact. Instead, I'd rather go with the *foresight is 20/40*, not always correct but has a wide angle of truth to it.

For better or worse, most guys who visit HA are individualists. We may pretend to conform to mainstream behaviors [ to get a job, be invited to a b-ball team, etc ] but on the inside, we don't truly care for the rituals of conformity. With that stated, here's what I've seen in successful, happy marriages ... both parties tend to have very similar backgrounds. I've seen this with well-adjusted Armenian-American, Cambodian-American, Born Again Christian, and Orthodox Jewish couples in New England. They have very similar outlooks and have coherent plans for their children. And likewise, if I'd wanted to marry my Brazilian ex-GF, I would have wanted to fit into the whole proper Catholic *extended family* thing of mainstream Brazilians. For me, that was not a proper fit so I opted out. And I have nothing bad to say about my ex-GF, she's a fine woman and would make the right person happy.

Thus, I'd say that since many fellas here have gone their own way since turning 18, what are the chances that they'd want to change themselves, join a type of singular focus group, just to have the high percentage successful marriage? You see, I don't believe that it's likely and thus, using foresight is 20/40, I'd estimate that many fellas here may never be happily married and may be better off either having periodic GFs or seeing esc@rts from time to time. With that said, if a person is willing to learn Portuguese and is adept at dealing with the politics of large families [ and the fact that you just can't "whisk 'em way" ], then by all means, move to Brazil, find yourself a bride, and start a family.


That's the thing, I met an Indian woman who was just fine but it was the family and religion thing that I could not embrace.

The women from these traditional cultures you will be getting solid values but it is really boring for an intelligent person. You have to be up for a steady diet of barbeques, ball games, family, church and not questioning damn thing ever in life.

And the most important things LOTS OF MONEY for her and "the family".
Last edited by leavingusa on December 9th, 2012, 9:24 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Postby drealm » December 9th, 2012, 9:22 am

So I suppose everyone who veto's marriage here is okay with going back in time and convincing their father to do the same thing?
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Re: No desire to get married???

Postby leavingusa » December 9th, 2012, 9:22 am

mguy wrote:I have no desire to get married. I'm 28. Is this normal? haha

I do however want dates. Good quality females to pick and choose from to become GFs, and I would treat her right. That would be amazing.


Wait until you hit the next stage, no desire to date. Then you have to figure out what the hell to do with yourself.

After a lifetime of thinking about how to get with women, what do you then do?
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Postby leavingusa » December 9th, 2012, 9:23 am

drealm wrote:So I suppose everyone who veto's marriage here is okay with going back in time and convincing their father to do the same thing?


Many of our parents never married, the younger they are the more likely this is true.
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Postby S_Parc » December 9th, 2012, 1:21 pm

drealm wrote:So I suppose everyone who veto's marriage here is okay with going back in time and convincing their father to do the same thing?


Well let's see, my dad was a paranoid, anti-Communist McCarthy-ist with Narcissistic Personality Disorder and my mother was depressed. Yes, I would advocate that living arrangement to anyone.
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Postby lavezzi » December 9th, 2012, 1:43 pm

leavingusa wrote:
drealm wrote:So I suppose everyone who veto's marriage here is okay with going back in time and convincing their father to do the same thing?


Many of our parents never married, the younger they are the more likely this is true.


im one of the youngest members here and in my country there are very few bastards (in the literal sense) within my age group. america for a long time was way ahead of ireland in terms of decadence. its only since the 1990s we have shot up out of nowhere from a catholic, socially conservative country to an atheistic, socially liberal country where illegit babies are socially accepted by the culture and single motherhood is economically encouraged by the state.
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Postby mguy » December 9th, 2012, 5:26 pm

Teal Lantern wrote:
mguy wrote:most guys at 20 - 30 marry because they are scared of being old and lonely.

Is this true?

Is being old and lonely really that bad? :)


Fully half of those guys are still going to wind up old, lonely, and poorer, for their trouble.
What do you consider old? 50? 60? 70?

If you make it to "old" age with your finances, health, and sanity intact, you'll have the option of as much or as little company as you want.

Look at how easy traveling, connecting to, and exchanging info (for free) with other people around the world has become in the last 20 years. Now, extrapolate that out another 20 years. :shock:

Ask older people about the bad old days when there was just ONE phone company and long distance calls (even state-to-state) were billed by the minute. :wink:

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=la28Yb-4Uss[/youtube]


That video will forever change my life.

Thanks for sharing.
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