Discuss and talk about any general topic.
There's been lots of references lately in various threads to gold diggers, both at home and abroad. We all speak of them as if we know what and who they are and how to spot them. But do we? I am curious as to how people define gold diggers.
Many of us rightly complain about the domination of feminist doctrine in Western countries, and how we wish to meet women abroad who have more traditional values in terms of gender roles. But what does that mean? Dependent on your age, either your father or grandfather probably worked and brought home the cash while your mother or grandmother stayed home and took care of the kids and house. Did that make them gold diggers?
There are extremes expressed here on HA; from Winston's famous "I don't want to buy them a hamburger" statement, to guys who are happy to completely "take care of" his girl.
And to make matters more complex, you have guys only interested in short-term pick ups, guys interested in p4p, guys interested in a vacation gf, and guys interested in building long-term relationships and/or marriage. I suppose in each scenario what constitutes a gold digger is different.
And then there is the disparity in incomes between men and women both at home or abroad. If the guy makes 200k/year and his wife works hard and makes $12/hour is she a gold digger? Or if she stays home (though mutual agreement) takes perfect care of the house and kids - is she a gold digger?
The extreme stories are easy to document and agree on; the woman who cleans out the guy's bank account and splits; the woman who stays home and does nothing but spends while the guy works himself into the grave. But what about the average case, where the girl wants a better life with a Western man, who in most cases has greater means.
Of course there are instances where the woman makes the money and the man sits on his ass, but for this discussion I am not interested in that.
A guy who makes 200k a year while the girl makes $12hr and stays home is not a gold digger. A gold digger would be if the girl is constantly pressuring her man to buy her expensive gifts, take her to lavish restaurants and vacations all the time, etc. A gold digger simply just utilizes the man's cash, regardless of what he makes. If a guy makes $50k a year and she makes him spend $1k-$2k a month on her for gifts and other crap, then she's a gold digger. If a guy makes $30k a year and she makes him spend $1k a month on her, she's a gold digger. A gold digger will use whatever she can out of the man, regardless of what he makes. A gold digger can also be a woman that just starts a relationship with a guy just because of the "lifestyle" he can provide. In general, the majority of AW are gold diggers. Most will just hide it better than others.
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very poor women may be an exception to this, but when a female is truly in love with you, she will stay with you even if you were a bum. the reason for this is because female's entire lives are dominated by a very strong and deep seated sense of need for validation from the external world. thats what the vanity and the status seeking and all the rest of it is really about. when you know how to truly love a woman and get in under her skin, you can make it so that her validation fix will then be coming solely from you, and in turn she will worship you to the point of insanity. however, men today are in a state of total and utter confusion beyond beleif, hense they have zero understanding of how to love a woman or what love is.
to truly love someone, you must first love the entirety of existense, and to love existense you must stop compulsively differentiating it. once this is acheived you will have then gained access to the dimention beyond seperation and the ability to see the perfection that exists in everything within a single moment of awareness. you will only then have the ability to treat a woman with love that is unconditional. unconditional love triumphs the conditional love which she is used to seeking in the world, so her focus and priority will switch entirely onto you. its a very powerful thing, and with it comes responsibility but also the most intense passion within existense.
on the subject, the only way to tell is by claiming youve gone bankrupt and seeing how she reacts.
Last edited by lavezzi on Sun Dec 09, 2012 11:54 pm, edited 1 time in total.
It is a natural instinct for women to want a provider type. (Feminism's brainwashing notwithstanding.) Men with money are forever going to attractive to women. That is on my top three list of what I wish I could change about what women are attracted to.
But I digress. Really, there are warning signs. Does she try to convince to buy her lavish things? Does she straight up ask for money (and not talking about for groceries of course.)?
I guess the ultimate test is if she stays if you bankrupt and lose everything.
'on the subject, the only way to tell is by claiming youve gone bankrupt and seeing how she reacts.'
Bankrupt, thats the magic word...rude awakaning would follow,
seriously, has any expat tried this test with local ladies?
The answer can be found in Good ol' Thai sayin that goes somethig like this: No Money, No honey....it so popular they even have Tshirts with these 4 magic words printed on
When u r dealing w/ poor countries and/or women who are much better looking and/or much younger than yourself, then it should be guilty until proven innocent. Cus u really gotta wonder, what's she doing w/yr ass?
Many are obvious in Phils. They ask to borrow money b4 u even meet them or on the first date. Those should be STRIKE 1, UR OUT!
Others will go a lot more slowly. But within a few meetings, u shld. get indications tht she would like some help - does she ever pay for taxis, does she ever treat u, does she often say she can't do such and such cus no money or her family is poor? Is her family self sufficient or is she expected to help out? How does family survive? R they middle class or do they have other benefactors - relatives overseas, other foreigners married into the family?
There are probably some very calculating ones who play a very slow and strategic game - act perfectly sweet and innocent, make u fall in love and hopefully propose, and then bring up 'Filipino Customs' in regards to how a man should provide for a woman and her family. If yr. lucky, she will bring this up before the marriage but by then, u may be hooked.
I actually think it is a good sign if the girl says upfront in her profile or to u personally that she is not interested in money like many other Filipinas. Of course, u need to test her on this to make sure her actions are consistent with these claims over weeks and months. Now is there a part 2 where one day out of the blue, maybe months or even years later, she hits u up for cash? Perhaps. I've never gone the distance /a Filipina so couldn't speak from experience. But I suspect that given the nature of people there, she will likely show her true colors before too long. I don't think Pinays are usually as strategic as I've heard Russians can be. Of course I could be wrong.
In a medium income country, the dynamics are so different. Majority of girls seem to follow their true hearts.
As an analogy, the risk of encountering a gold digger who wants to date you in Phils vs. say Taiwan is like comparing the risk
of being assaulted when walking the night streets of say Johannesburg vs. Tokyo. In medium income countries to upper medium income countries, u can relax yr. guard somewhat.
My parents, uncles and aunts, and sibling are mostly from situations, where, when married, both husband and wife work and make salaries which are not too different. So perhaps, I've not witnessed money grubbing women in my family growing up so when I do encounter one, then she raises my suspicions right away.
Just some off-the-cuff ramblings in response to yr. question.
You were doing fine up until this point. The upper income countries are deeply populated by women who are, if not out and out gold diggers, are at least extremely motivated by a man's money. It's hard to even imagine a debate on that point.
And not just the small nickel and dime "my mom needs her electric bill paid" kind of money but the big time "I need a better house in the burbs" kinda of money, or the "I divorced his ass and got paid" kind of money.
I mean isn't this one of the basic tenants of why HA exists - because modern women in developed countries are so oriented toward money - hers and yours.
Actually, those situations are even trickier than where there is a large disparity in incomes. Many modern Western women hope to make good money comparable to her husband's but still have the old fashioned expectations that he should pay most of the bills. Ask Western men whose wives make similar amounts the question who pays the lion share of the bills; generally the guy will tell you he does. In those instances the man feels more abused than in situations where he makes big money and his wife does not; in those circumstances no one would expect them to split the bills equally.
1. Read a bit more carefully - upper medium income DOES NOT EQUAL upper income. Taiwan, Chile, or Estonia ARE NOT UK, Australia, or USA. As far as I'm concerned, these 2 groups are worlds apart women wise.
2. Well I realize things have probably deteriorated dramatically with the newer batches of women. But cases I'm most familiar with such as my dad's brother and sister, the man clearly runs the show and gets the advantage in spite of wives having similar incomes. Same is true of some more distant relatives in my hometown except that their wives are of the old school stay at home variety.
Western women earn as much as men so dont need men to survive, thats the key difference.
If average men earns 3k a month and woman earns the same amount how can she be a gold digger, there should be disparity in order to call it gold digging....if she was unempolyed with no intention to work and you were on 3k then its gold digger, low level though.
if you are guy in the west and earn around 3k like 80% do then you got nothing to worry about, theres no gold to dig as you need 3k a month just to survive...sometimes being a wage slave has its advantages...
bottom line is if you are american Joe blowjob you can be sure your AW is not with you for your money nor green card
If a woman expects something in return for her company then she's a gold digger.
If I invite a woman to a restaurant it's my duty to pay because I initiated the date. She didn't have to accept. But if she initiates a date and expects you to cover up her expenses then she's a gold digger...
Best way to find out if she's truly into you, tell her you're going through some rough times and don't take her anywhere for a few months. Just invite her over to your place and see how she reacts. If she genuinely enjoys your company she won't get bored and she'll just be happy to come over. If she truly loves you maybe she'll do the groceries also and cook you a nice meal.
No I got it - upper medium, upper upper, medium medium - I just don't think it matters. All women are interested in money - of course that doesn't necessarily make them gold diggers.
I think that was why I was interested - it's a term thrown out often that's so vague, does it have real meaning . So when we make blanket statements about all the gold diggers in the West or abroad - and how we ought to be very careful about recognizing and avoiding them - it's good to know who and what to avoid.
And of course my perspective is mostly concerned with a long term relationship. Who pays for what on a date isn't what I am really thinking of. A girl will be on her best behavior initially when you are dating; you're less likely to see a user attitude then.
Nor am I thinking of the online scammer - though maybe they are a subset of gold diggers - the girl you chat with online and asks for money in a chat or two or five.
No, I always thought the term represented a woman who was in a relationship/marriage with a man and uses the man predominantly for money. I have my own personal notion of who is or isn't a gold digger. Still curious about how others define the term.
Last edited by davewe on Mon Dec 10, 2012 5:42 am, edited 1 time in total.
"Pick a point and go to it."
-- Dr John Hunsucker, speaking about canoeing on Georgia's Lake Lanier, with its irregular shape, and 1000 miles of meandering shoreline
This. True gold diggers know that they bring nothing else to the table (except for their sense of entitlement and bad attitude), so they have to milk their fading looks fast as they can.
не поглеждай назад.
"Even an American judge is unlikely to award child support for imputed children." - FredOnEverything
Agree with all 3 paragraphs
I do not promise to be gingerly
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