abcdavid01 wrote:This is a horrible tragedy and I agree with what everyone else said about the causes. I never entertained thoughts of school shootings, but I knew I was that kid. The genius outcast with severe social problems. If anyone were to shoot up the school, they'd have placed bets on me. The students and the teachers. How do you think a kid feels about that? They fear you and it builds up. In middle school my mom tried getting me to see school psychologists, but I refused and rebelled. Wanted to kill her and kept around hatred of her for years. Still do, but mostly now I just regard her as insignificant to my life. I was suicidal then too. In high school we had a substitute who gave us some busywork on CPR. So I filled out this worksheet satirically with everything not to do with CPR, how to suffocate people. Black humour to stay sane in a PC hell hole. So I got called to the principal a few days later and was suspended pending a meeting with a psychologist. My dad came and took me to one immediately; if he had scheduled one for a few days later I'd have likely refused and been expelled. My dad was angry, but he also thought what I wrote was funny. He understood, in a way, but perhaps not so intimately as I. He's at the age where even if he recognizes societal problems, and he does think it has gotten worse here since he was my age, he can just retire on the beach and forget about it all. I can't do that because I have to make a life and I want to start a family. So the next day I come in with my dad after the psychologist has found nothing wrong with me, but the principal tries to make me promise to never do it again. I refused because I could not in all honesty have promised that. So I left the room and my dad somehow convinced her to let me stay.
America is sterile. People like my mother and the principal and the psychologists don't view you as human. They think you're like a test subject to be feared. Kids need love, not fear. My mom's doing that with my dad now, having him read books by the latest experts and having him see psychologists. My dad's a criminal defence lawyer who works with deranged people all the time, so he knows way more about it than she does. Has anyone read Atlas Shrugged? Like Dr. Floyd Ferris. Anyway, my mother took my dad's guns away secretly and hid them from him. They've been having constant fighting about it for the past month. When my dad wasn't around and my older sister was home my mother tried to explain herself and asked our opinion. I told her dad ought to go to the Philippines and bang a girl half his age, solve his problems. I meant it too because as much as my dad and I believe in traditional marriage, my mother does not and is now abusing him. He owes her nothing. But of course my Feminist sister thinks I'm a misogynist. Called our dad an emotional abuser ffs.
So my mom tells dad that my sister called me a misogynist and he asked me about it. I told him I'm only as much a misogynist as he is. So he says he regrets having married a cold, emotionless woman, and that I ought to find someone who only wants to give me kisses. So I tell him that's sexist, apparently. According to what all the experts say.
America's no place for men anymore.
Originally, I only made an account to communicate with the few (1% of) members here who aren't about complaints, ignorance and general insipidity, but after reading your post, I have to say something.
I was that kid too. I still am. I did have the idea of murder when I was young, but on a smaller scale -- just to those who really made school suck, but not the ENTIRE student body. Like you, I'm resistant to brainwashing, conformity and unwilling change. Maybe even more-so than you. Had my fair share of expels from schools -- including a Christian private school that I did NOT get on well in. Textbook genius outcast. Story of my life. Everyone says how smart I am and how kids should use me as an example, but those same people slander me behind my back and try to make my life difficult. Like you, administrators of all types from all slices of the pie have tried to hop me up on various medications. Ritalin, Aderoll -- all that shit. But unlike you, I didn't have ANY male at all, let alone one that understood the type of being that I am/was. Any female presence in my life has been a negative and detriment attribute of my own, but such will no longer be the case once I join the military and build my businesses.
I did something similar to what you did with your black humour page. Was stuffed in a looney bin for 72 hours. Of course that didn't go on my record because of something that is both a blessing and a curse.
You said you could be Adam Lanza. Well, I could be worse -- I think I am. Honestly, if I were to snap, I wouldn't do what Adam Lanza did. Whatever my idea of revenge was, I'd make sure it was surgical and precise, all the while pretending to be "normal". I know for a FACT that if I had a son, and he grew up in the West (America especially), he'd be at the very LEAST, someone like Adam. My experiences have made me far worse than any crazed gunman could ever be. I know how to blend in, how to plan, how to adapt. I turn my weaknesses into strengths.
I'm happy that you had your dad in your life and that you're close to him. America is no place for men, the West is no place for men, and I'm convinced that the WORLD will be no place for men in due time.
Just had to say that. Great post.