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Why we should stop really giving a f**k about women

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Postby PeterAndrewNolan » Sun Jan 27, 2013 4:33 pm

Oh...one other thing.....I put a comment in my first book on prostitution. Simply put prostitution is lawful. The sooner you men insist the prostitution is lawful and can in no way be "legalised" or "regulated" by the guvment the better off you will be. Those of you without game or money who can not get laid using one of those to can then go to prostitutes for the "girlfriend experience". When it is considered lawful it will be cheap.

I have been watching maggies blog for a long time now and there are a lot of interesting stories from men who get what they need from prostitutes...far more than just sex...it really surprised me to read some of these stories.

http://maggiemcneill.wordpress.com/

Here was my comment in my first book.

http://www.mensbusinessassociation.com/ ... fault.aspx
Feel free to check out my blog:Click ME!
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Postby S_Parc » Sun Jan 27, 2013 5:30 pm

publicduende wrote:
S_Parc wrote:You know, after reading a lot of your replies, I think I can appreciate more of what you're experiencing. I think publicduende has this cookie-cutter application of standard Rogerian psychology and a few other feel-good strategies w/o delving into people's psyche.


The fact that I sound "happier abroad", in love with my wife and in peace with myself doesn't mean I subscribe to "feel good strategies" out of ignorance and naivety. I am 38, had years of intense soul-searching and still used to reassessing myself and my choices continuously. As I was trying to explain Yakuza, there's nothing tragic in not conforming squarely to one or another imperant cultural models. The key element is to know what choices are more likely to bring more balance in your life, at the time you take them.

On a side note...if you guys only knew what kind of life changes I am on the verge of, you would probably think different of me. A couple of people here know about it, yet I don't feel comfortable about making it public, yet. Still a private duende on that one :)


I'm also in my 30s. But let me say this, I've never heard the expression *boy* aimed at me, after leaving home at 17. Yes, you can't jump into Yakuza's shoes but I can. It would be like having my oppressive father, hiding in mainstream society, just around every corner.

Also, I've had a great relationship with a Brazilian. We'd stayed together in both regions, New England and Brazil. I'm pretty sure she'll make her future husband quite a happy man. But that Banyan tree family scenario wasn't for me.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Postby lone_yakuza » Sun Jan 27, 2013 6:29 pm

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Postby publicduende » Sun Jan 27, 2013 9:26 pm

S_Parc wrote:I'm also in my 30s. But let me say this, I've never heard the expression *boy* aimed at me, after leaving home at 17. Yes, you can't jump into Yakuza's shoes but I can. It would be like having my oppressive father, hiding in mainstream society, just around every corner.

Also, I've had a great relationship with a Brazilian. We'd stayed together in both regions, New England and Brazil. I'm pretty sure she'll make her future husband quite a happy man. But that Banyan tree family scenario wasn't for me.


Being called "boy" in one's late 20s is quite humiliating true...still I wouldn't call that a sign of an oppressive or racist society. I am sure half of the time Yakuza was addressed that way, it was meant to be in a joking or endearing way. When he will (and I'm sure he will) learn to focus on his own growth and transformation more than the (potential) backstopping from his racial peers and US neighbours, things like that will be remembered and bring no more than a giggle on his face.

Dude, you sound like you had a gem of a woman around your finger. How nosy or obsessive must have her extended family be for you to give up on her mostly (or solely) on the fear of being part of a clan?
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Postby lone_yakuza » Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:00 pm

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Postby zboy1 » Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:10 pm

lone_yakuza wrote:
publicduende wrote:
S_Parc wrote:I'm also in my 30s. But let me say this, I've never heard the expression *boy* aimed at me, after leaving home at 17. Yes, you can't jump into Yakuza's shoes but I can. It would be like having my oppressive father, hiding in mainstream society, just around every corner.

Also, I've had a great relationship with a Brazilian. We'd stayed together in both regions, New England and Brazil. I'm pretty sure she'll make her future husband quite a happy man. But that Banyan tree family scenario wasn't for me.


Being called "boy" in one's late 20s is quite humiliating true...still I wouldn't call that a sign of an oppressive or racist society. I am sure half of the time Yakuza was addressed that way, it was meant to be in a joking or endearing way. When he will (and I'm sure he will) learn to focus on his own growth and transformation more than the (potential) backstopping from his racial peers and US neighbours, things like that will be remembered and bring no more than a giggle on his face.

Dude, you sound like you had a gem of a woman around your finger. How nosy or obsessive must have her extended family be for you to give up on her mostly (or solely) on the fear of being part of a clan?


Well, I am 21.


There was no mistaking it as being meant to be offensive. Also no American calls somebody "boy" endearingly. Only "brother" or sometimes "kid" if the person is 20 years younger than you. And they only use "kid" if they want to give you some of their wisdom.

The context of "boy" was as follows:

"Out of my way, boy"


"What's a chink jap-boy like you doing here in our country?"

"What's that p***y weight you're liftin', boy?" (I was benching two 75 lb dumbbells back then, so it was a bit on the lighter side, but I see no reason why someone should be such a jackass)

Tone of speech also betrays emotion and intent. The intent was clearly hostile in those cases. There were a few others that I don't remember exactly what was said but were similar.

Also, a guy who is only 18 years old called me "buddy" last time. I'm 3 years older than him and lift heavier than him and he has the nerve to call me "buddy." It is probably because he believes he is superior because he is 6'+.

In America it is all about trying to impose dominance or whatever on other people. There is little or no harmony or brotherhood or common decency. Most people have never been on the receiving end because they do not look "out of the ordinary."

Anyways, just to clear things up, because while you seem to mean well, most other people do not.

Also, remember that black males were often also called "boy" in the past or "buddy" as a way of denigration or condescension.

Contrast that with how I am always addressed as "sir" even by older guys or bigger guys when I am in Seattle or "brother" and likewise I address people as "sir" or "brother".

I do not look that young actually. Most white women who have talked to me have said because of the way I dress, my manner of speech, the way I carry myself, and my goatee, they always assumed I was 25 to 30 something years old, even though I am only 21. With my long hair/ponytail, it is even more common that people assume I am much older. I guess because a low ponytail + goatee used to be more common in the 1980s and early 90s.



Yup! I've heard similar comments from a-hole White boys myself. But I don't think this is limited to only White people--everyone in America acts like that pretty much. Your right in that Americans have little to no unity or harmony amongst themselves because everyone is out for themselves, and as a result, you have incredibly high rates of suicide, crime, and mental illness in the country. That's why you never saw any Japanese rioting in the streets after the tsunami, while in the U.S., Blacks, Whites, and Hispanics were robbing and shooting one another after Katrina, Sandy, and the LA Riots.
Last edited by zboy1 on Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:12 pm, edited 2 times in total.
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Postby publicduende » Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:11 pm

lone_yakuza wrote:
publicduende wrote:
S_Parc wrote:I'm also in my 30s. But let me say this, I've never heard the expression *boy* aimed at me, after leaving home at 17. Yes, you can't jump into Yakuza's shoes but I can. It would be like having my oppressive father, hiding in mainstream society, just around every corner.

Also, I've had a great relationship with a Brazilian. We'd stayed together in both regions, New England and Brazil. I'm pretty sure she'll make her future husband quite a happy man. But that Banyan tree family scenario wasn't for me.


Being called "boy" in one's late 20s is quite humiliating true...still I wouldn't call that a sign of an oppressive or racist society. I am sure half of the time Yakuza was addressed that way, it was meant to be in a joking or endearing way. When he will (and I'm sure he will) learn to focus on his own growth and transformation more than the (potential) backstopping from his racial peers and US neighbours, things like that will be remembered and bring no more than a giggle on his face.

Dude, you sound like you had a gem of a woman around your finger. How nosy or obsessive must have her extended family be for you to give up on her mostly (or solely) on the fear of being part of a clan?


Well, I am 21.


There was no mistaking it as being meant to be offensive. Also no American calls somebody "boy" endearingly. Only "brother" or sometimes "kid" if the person is 20 years okder than you. And they only use "kid" if they want to give you some of their wisdom.

The context of "boy" was as follows:

"Out of my way, boy"


"What's a chink jap-boy like you doing here in our country?"

"What's that p***y weight you're liftin', boy?" (I was benching two 75 lb dumbbells back then, so it was a bit on the lighter side, but I see no reason why someone should be such a jackass)

Tone of speech also betrays emotion and intent. The intent was clearly hostile in those cases. There were a few others that I don't remember exactly what was said but were similar.

Also, a guy who is only 18 years old called me "buddy" last time. I'm 3 years older than him and lift heavier than him and he has the nerve to call me "buddy." It is probably because he believes he is superior because he is 6'+.

In America it is all about trying to impose dominance or whatever on other people. There is little or no harmony or brotherhood or common decency. Most people have never been on the receiving end because they do not look "out of the ordinary."

Anyways, just to clear things up, because while you seem to mean well, most other people do not.

Also, remember that black males were often also called "boy" in the past or "buddy" as a way of denigration or condescension.

Contrast that with how I am always addressed as "sir" even by older guys or bigger guys when I am in Seattle or "brother" and likewise I address people as "sir" or "brother".

I do not look that young actually. Most white women who have talked to me have said because of the way I dress, my manner of speech, the way I carry myself, and my goatee, they always assumed I was 25 to 30 something years old, even though I am only 21. With my long hair/ponytail, it is even more common that people assume I am much older. I guess because a low ponytail + goatee used to be more common in the 1980s and early 90s.

So I doubt people would call me "buddy" unless they are being condescending or "boy."


OK that's crystal clear now. Ouch. And you think these people would run and whine to the nearest police station if you showed them some of your "boyhood" in the form of a knocking punch/kick?

[youtube]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zxqYjEzGEPs[/youtube]
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Postby S_Parc » Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:22 pm

publicduende wrote:Dude, you sound like you had a gem of a woman around your finger. How nosy or obsessive must have her extended family be for you to give up on her mostly (or solely) on the fear of being part of a clan?


In contrast to women in Massachusetts, yes, she's a gem. In Brazil, she's a lot like a lot of other women.

The key disconnect is that in-laws/relatives have a tendency to not acknowledge boundaries. So yes, while the father, mother, & siblings were fine, it's when all the other relatives jumped in and started negotiating your life. And at the same time, they attempted to contact my own parents, sister, her hubby, and hubby's family (without proper mediation) and thus, started a rift, as one cousin didn't like my family (& perhaps vice versa) and then, tried to poison the well afterwards. As you can gather, it doesn't take much to set off either my father or sister to say the wrong thing to the wrong in-law.

Unlike let's say people around here, she didn't believe that families should have enduring *dead spots* and that when she had her 3 children in the future, that they could spend time at my parent's or sister's places w/o any trouble. Well ... as you can imagine, that's not a prescription for a long term happy ending, whereas at least in the movie 'Shrek', Fiona's dad was a frog and Shrek was an orphan. I wasn't so lucky.

This is how that relationship started deteriorating. In the end, one of her friends, who'd married another American man, met his family in the South and they were perfectly fine with the whole Banyan tree thing over in Brazil. That's when we both evaluated our life situations and decided to go our separate ways amicably.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Postby publicduende » Sun Jan 27, 2013 10:54 pm

S_Parc wrote:In contrast to women in Massachusetts, yes, she's a gem. In Brazil, she's a lot like a lot of other women.

The key disconnect is that in-laws/relatives have a tendency to not acknowledge boundaries. So yes, while the father, mother, & siblings were fine, it's when all the other relatives jumped in and started negotiating your life. And at the same time, they attempted to contact my own parents, sister, her hubby, and hubby's family (without proper mediation) and thus, started a rift, as one cousin didn't like my family (& perhaps vice versa) and then, tried to poison the well afterwards. As you can gather, it doesn't take much to set off either my father or sister to say the wrong thing to the wrong in-law.

Unlike let's say people around here, she didn't believe that families should have enduring *dead spots* and that when she had her 3 children in the future, that they could spend time at my parent's or sister's places w/o any trouble. Well ... as you can imagine, that's not a prescription for a long term happy ending, whereas at least in the movie 'Shrek', Fiona's dad was a frog and Shrek was an orphan. I wasn't so lucky.

This is how that relationship started deteriorating. In the end, one of her friends, who'd married another American man, met his family in the South and they were perfectly fine with the whole Banyan tree thing over in Brazil. That's when we both evaluated our life situations and decided to go our separate ways amicably.


I would be happy to find this story quite hilarious, if I didnt imagine it must have been problematic to face the whole family vs family relations conundrum, and then, much worse, your separation...

Surely in those Latin American families they have a very different concept of nuclear privacy. You probably did find a happy-go-lucky extended family who was a bit over the top even by Brazilian standards. What I find quite puzzling is whether your gf made any steps to understand that she also had to respect your own ideas about relationships with your own family and the inlaws, and you really had to meet in the middle. However affectionate she was towards her big family, she just couldn't have it 100% her way.

Hmm...sad story. For your information, if that can help with your next choice of partner, Colombian families can be more or less like that! Monica has a far cousin who has actually been living in London for more than 10 years, even married to an Italian man. She was warm and kind at the beginning, inviting us over at hers for lunch or dinner. Once I was uncautious enough to mention Monica's auntie that she was planning to go back to Colombia in the summer to buy some land. Two or three days after that mention, the entire family knew about her intentions and started to pester her - night and day quite literally! - about what to buy, when to buy, complaining that it was impolite of her not to break such important news to the about 50 people of the extended family, and so on.

To make a long story short, she never called us again. We lost her completely, despite living literally 20 minutes away by tube :)

The good thing is that Monica has never been too close to her extended family, perhaps purposely, hard to say, and when we were over in Medellin parents and relatives were still pouring from the four corners, all warm, welcoming and smiley, but never asked too many personal questions and never felt stickier than they needed be given the circumstances (most of them had never seen me since the wedding day, some of them for the first time ever).
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Postby momopi » Mon Jan 28, 2013 12:09 am

abcdavid01 wrote:Bruce Lee was probably an anti-Communist. He never spoke out about politics, but I suspect he would have had he lived longer and it's possible to infer his opinions based on his overall life philosophy. Jackie Chan is the opposite, although it's hard to say because, again, I don't consider China Communist anymore. Does Jackie Chan support Communism or the Party as it is today? I don't know.


Jackie Chan has expressed pro-Beijing views and, I suspect that he may pursue a career in Chinese politics in the future.


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Postby S_Parc » Mon Jan 28, 2013 12:17 am

publicduende wrote:I would be happy to find this story quite hilarious, if I didnt imagine it must have been problematic to face the whole family vs family relations conundrum, and then, much worse, your separation...

Surely in those Latin American families they have a very different concept of nuclear privacy. You probably did find a happy-go-lucky extended family who was a bit over the top even by Brazilian standards. What I find quite puzzling is whether your gf made any steps to understand that she also had to respect your own ideas about relationships with your own family and the inlaws, and you really had to meet in the middle. However affectionate she was towards her big family, she just couldn't have it 100% her way.


In the beginning, she was ok with my immediate family being distant, as she was in her post sales-engineering training/work in MA. We never visited them, despite spending time on the north shore and being only a few miles from their residence. It was the poisoning of the well, where ppl [ I didn't even know some of these in-laws ] felt that my family would have had a negative impact on our offsprings, that she started having doubts about the future. Realize, any child between her and myself would have been a dual citizen of the USA and Brazil, without going through a green card process. However, how would my family treat him? Like an American kid, or some troublemaker, south of the border? The fact that her other close friend had no such issues, with her husband's family [ and that I think was Kentucky or Tennessee (Deep South, mind you)]. In contrast, traveling around New England, except for that men-hating Lesbian town of Northampton MA, everyone else treated her well. There was a sense of cognitive dissonance... I was living in a semi-cultured region, & I'd met a lot of great Portuguese-speaking residents at the time, but had no family graces to offer her, outside of a bunch of friends and acquaintances. She didn't feel, in the end, that that would be enough for the kids, since children are not adults and can't be expected to understand why my family would want to be mean to them.


publicduende wrote: if that can help with your next choice of partner


As for the future, I think that may have been my final relationship. Soon afterwards, I'd started to lose interest in women & life's been good. So while the story above may appear to be a bit sad to a person reading the synopsis, in some ways, I'm glad that it's over. It was kinda like living in a waking dream of what a perfect married life would have been like in America, had certain events been different, starting in the 80s. And then that was it, I'd awoken from that fantasy and I started liking life, as it was, around here.

When a person lives a reasonably busy life and derives satisfaction w/o a woman's companionship or approval, it's a pretty good one. One can travel to Montreal QC, see a 5 star GFE esc@rt and enjoy life back at home, w/o all the stuff guys here are complaining about, concerning women & dating, or dealing with nasty AWs in social settings. I now simply tune out the AW nonsense and go on living life. But I think that if I didn't at least have one good relationship in this life, I wouldn't have been able to make that assessment. Now, that that story is complete, I can move on. And thus, I have enough mileage to say that in life, there's no one path which is palatable for everyone.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Postby publicduende » Mon Jan 28, 2013 1:02 am

S_Parc wrote:In the beginning, she was ok with my immediate family being distant, as she was in her post sales-engineering training/work in MA. We never visited them, despite spending time on the north shore and being only a few miles from their residence. It was the poisoning of the well, where ppl [ I didn't even know some of these in-laws ] felt that my family would have had a negative impact on our offsprings, that she started having doubts about the future. Realize, any child between her and myself would have been a dual citizen of the USA and Brazil, without going through a green card process. However, how would my family treat him? Like an American kid, or some troublemaker, south of the border? The fact that her other close friend had no such issues, with her husband's family [ and that I think was Kentucky or Tennessee (Deep South, mind you)]. In contrast, traveling around New England, except for that men-hating Lesbian town of Northampton MA, everyone else treated her well. There was a sense of cognitive dissonance... I was living in a semi-cultured region, & I'd met a lot of great Portuguese-speaking residents at the time, but had no family graces to offer her, outside of a bunch of friends and acquaintances. She didn't feel, in the end, that that would be enough for the kids, since children are not adults and can't be expected to understand why my family would want to be mean to them.


Hang on a minute. So she had her doubts about your family not being present and embracing enough for the kids to grow well. That was a bit arrogant of her, if I may, to use her big family as "moral capital" and throw its weight to make assumptions on your own family, or how they would treat your future kids. We all know how different family relations are in the northern emisphere (I have lived in the UK enough to notice) and how beneficial it is to have a big, supportive family. That doesn't mean though that a 50-strong family circle is automatically better than a couple of grandparents to meet three or four times a year. It's a case-by-case situation.

Now I think about it, Monica did throw a couple of arguments in the past about me "not being a good son" because I didn't fly to Italy often enough to meet my parents. That until I vehemently reminded her that I speak to my Mom at least twice a week every week and, being a contractor, every Friday or Monday I spend on top of the weekend just to say hallo to my mom & pop is $1000 less in the company coffers. Culture gaps mate - we can't marry somebody the other side of the world and expect gardens of genetically-mutated roses with no thorns, can we?

S_Parc wrote:As for the future, I think that may have been my final relationship. Soon afterwards, I'd started to lose interest in women & life's been good. So while the story above may appear to be a bit sad to a person reading the synopsis, in some ways, I'm glad that it's over. It was kinda like living in a waking dream of what a perfect married life would have been like in America, had certain events been different, starting in the 80s. And then that was it, I'd awoken from that fantasy and I started liking life, as it was, around here.

When a person lives a reasonably busy life and derives satisfaction w/o a woman's companionship or approval, it's a pretty good one. One can travel to Montreal QC, see a 5 star GFE esc@rt and enjoy life back at home, w/o all the stuff guys here are complaining about, concerning women & dating, or dealing with nasty AWs in social settings. I now simply tune out the AW nonsense and go on living life. But I think that if I didn't at least have one good relationship in this life, I wouldn't have been able to make that assessment. Now, that that story is complete, I can move on. And thus, I have enough mileage to say that in life, there's no one path which is palatable for everyone.


In your earlier post you said you're in your 30, say 35. I find it kind of sad that a man younger than me, probably at least decent looking, a good personality and a good job, has given up the pleasure of spending time with a woman whom you love and whom loves you back. You probably let your family-gate problem grow too much into your intimacy with your gf, to the point that, as you say, the well was poisoned and you couldn't recover your relationship.

Again sounding like I am teaching you a lesson, but I really don't see how even the best 5-star GFE escort can perfectly wrap the pleasure, the tenderness and the honesty of a real relationship with a loving girl. If anything, when it comes to sex, I still have trouble staying sexless for more than a couple of weeks, and I like to do it at least 4 times a week. That would be quite time and money-consuming, with a top-notch pro. :)

You know, I would have thought the opposite is true from your premises. If you had at least one good relationship, you would be keen to go for more, challenging yourself outside your comfort zone and reaching out for that special one, perhaps without having to travel to the opposite edge of the world, but once again without ruling international travel out. Maybe you could pull a Will N Dowd and try and date an exchange student keen to stay in the US (or is it Canada)?
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Postby S_Parc » Mon Jan 28, 2013 2:17 am

publicduende wrote:Hang on a minute. So she had her doubts about your family not being present and embracing enough for the kids to grow well. That was a bit arrogant of her, if I may, to use her big family as "moral capital" and throw its weight to make assumptions on your own family, or how they would treat your future kids. We all know how different family relations are in the northern emisphere (I have lived in the UK enough to notice) and how beneficial it is to have a big, supportive family. That doesn't mean though that a 50-strong family circle is automatically better than a couple of grandparents to meet three or four times a year. It's a case-by-case situation.


In this particular situation, she was more or less correct in her paranoia about the future. In some ways, she has a bit of that *foresight is 20/40* going on.


publicduende wrote:In your earlier post you said you're in your 30, say 35. I find it kind of sad that a man younger than me, probably at least decent looking, a good personality and a good job, has given up the pleasure of spending time with a woman whom you love and whom loves you back. You probably let your family-gate problem grow too much into your intimacy with your gf, to the point that, as you say, the well was poisoned and you couldn't recover your relationship.

Again sounding like I am teaching you a lesson, but I really don't see how even the best 5-star GFE escort can perfectly wrap the pleasure, the tenderness and the honesty of a real relationship with a loving girl. If anything, when it comes to sex, I still have trouble staying sexless for more than a couple of weeks, and I like to do it at least 4 times a week. That would be quite time and money-consuming, with a top-notch pro. :)

You know, I would have thought the opposite is true from your premises. If you had at least one good relationship, you would be keen to go for more, challenging yourself outside your comfort zone and reaching out for that special one, perhaps without having to travel to the opposite edge of the world, but once again without ruling international travel out. Maybe you could pull a Will N Dowd and try and date an exchange student keen to stay in the US (or is it Canada)?


I think this may be best explained by a metaphor of sorts. The baseball team, the Boston Red Sox, had an 86 year drought before winning the World (actually, it's national) Series in 2004.

For decades, local baseball fans have suffered, watching meltdowns in key playoff rounds, again and again. Well, in '04, facing a 0-3 elimination, the team staged the greatest comeback in the history of American major league baseball (yes, that's of all time) and won 4 straight, winning 4-3 in the conference. And then, 4-0 in the final series. In my entire life, I'd never seen such euphoria in the region. It lasted for weeks. And then... something changed, a lot of people were suddenly, no longer all that interested in baseball. Sure, there were the hard core fans, who'll never leave the sport, but the average person was no longer maniacal about it. Somehow, erasing that 86 year deficit, wiped out some of that zeal of that feeling of lost time.

In a way, having that great, South American adventure, did that for me. I had felt done. Before, there were these expectations, unfulfilled dreams, etc. Well, that World Series is over and I can go back to my life.

For me, sex and love are not synonymous. In fact, the woman I'd say I'm most in love with, isn't even in my age bracket. It's one of my classmate's mother, nearly 25 year older than me. And she's one of my best friends and probably the only person who I can genuinely say that I've been in love with, since we'd first gotten to know one another. And at the same time, I don't feel a loss by not being able to use a time machine, to find her before she'd met her husband. Or the fact that I can't b@ink her, time machine or not. The fact of the matter is that part of makes up her personality is the fact that she's 100% settled. Her 3 kids are successful & healthy adults, her husband has successfully run an enterprise, and they are semi-retired and not under any sort of pressure. Well, that's a sweet life and for it, she's got a lot to share with others.

As long as I get to b@ink periodically, I'm well. And for that, Quebec has a lot to offer. It's not like Water or Oxygen for me, it's more like Tiramisu. And that dessert, I have, once a month :wink:
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
S_Parc
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Postby publicduende » Mon Jan 28, 2013 11:24 am

S_Parc wrote:I think this may be best explained by a metaphor of sorts. The baseball team, the Boston Red Sox, had an 86 year drought before winning the World (actually, it's national) Series in 2004.

For decades, local baseball fans have suffered, watching meltdowns in key playoff rounds, again and again. Well, in '04, facing a 0-3 elimination, the team staged the greatest comeback in the history of American major league baseball (yes, that's of all time) and won 4 straight, winning 4-3 in the conference. And then, 4-0 in the final series. In my entire life, I'd never seen such euphoria in the region. It lasted for weeks. And then... something changed, a lot of people were suddenly, no longer all that interested in baseball. Sure, there were the hard core fans, who'll never leave the sport, but the average person was no longer maniacal about it. Somehow, erasing that 86 year deficit, wiped out some of that zeal of that feeling of lost time.

In a way, having that great, South American adventure, did that for me. I had felt done. Before, there were these expectations, unfulfilled dreams, etc. Well, that World Series is over and I can go back to my life.

For me, sex and love are not synonymous. In fact, the woman I'd say I'm most in love with, isn't even in my age bracket. It's one of my classmate's mother, nearly 25 year older than me. And she's one of my best friends and probably the only person who I can genuinely say that I've been in love with, since we'd first gotten to know one another. And at the same time, I don't feel a loss by not being able to use a time machine, to find her before she'd met her husband. Or the fact that I can't b@ink her, time machine or not. The fact of the matter is that part of makes up her personality is the fact that she's 100% settled. Her 3 kids are successful & healthy adults, her husband has successfully run an enterprise, and they are semi-retired and not under any sort of pressure. Well, that's a sweet life and for it, she's got a lot to share with others.

As long as I get to b@ink periodically, I'm well. And for that, Quebec has a lot to offer. It's not like Water or Oxygen for me, it's more like Tiramisu. And that dessert, I have, once a month :wink:


Got it. Thanks for taking the time to explain in more metaphorical detail :)
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publicduende
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Postby S_Parc » Mon Jan 28, 2013 3:03 pm

I think, in conclusion (nowadays esp), men should learn to be functional and content, without the companionship of women.

I'm the 30-something polar opposite of publicduende, basically asserting 'been there, done that, and got the T-shirt'. I believe I provide a counterexample to his Lennon-McCartney worldview, without constantly using bitter experiences to validate my perspective.

In the end, what any person does is his prerogative. But given the current trend towards mass westernization (plus automation), and the disintegration of cohesive societies, it's best to be aware that what may have worked for let's say the avg Joe, born in 1950, may not be the case come 2050, in any society in the world.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
S_Parc
Veteran Poster
 
Posts: 2415
Joined: Fri Nov 12, 2010 7:01 pm

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