Kimiko wrote:What I read on here seems like American men are really angry and disappointed in American women.
"Seems"? You clearly have little idea what many American men have to go through while growing up in a society like America which is leveraged against them. If you wish to learn, then stay. If you have absolutely no empathy for what we feel, then please leave. America is already full of self-important, ice-cold women and we don't need any more of them.
Kimiko wrote:Well, I was raised in a biracial home (first generation immigrants), and I can tell you that foreign women or men are not necessarily "better" mates than Americans. If anything, I noticed Asian women, for example to be rather overbearing and sometimes calculating.
So? You haven't been to all the countries of the world. You only mentioned your own personal observations of people from a few of them. This doesn't disprove anything. I notice this is a typical scare tactic used in the American media. They find a few examples of bad things in a certain region abroad and then make the incorrect generalization that everything in that region is bad. For example, I once read an article about the options for recent American college grads and in it there was a sentence which was something like "Thinking of going to Europe? Well, think again. Look at all the problems in Greece and Spain..." Of course, problems in Greece and Spain do not say a damn thing about Slovakia or Estonia.
I am in Hungary and I find Hungarian women to be much nicer in general. Of course some are stuck up bitches like you'd find anywhere, but most are more traditional women than American women. They cook for their men on holidays. They dress like women, and they act like women, rather than bloodthirsty vultures who are only looking for social status. And most are actually polite when rejecting men. Also, it's socially acceptable for men to date much younger women here than they ever could in the US. Think about this from a man's perspective. Men prefer younger women. Men are happier where they can get younger women who are nicer to them. It's that simple.
People like to be where they have an advantage. Men have an advantage in many countries outside the US. Women clearly have the advantage in the US. Also being a "foreigner" abroad can convey other advantages (and disadvantages) as well.
Kimiko wrote:
American women of course do have their problems too- they bought into the radical feminist ideal of being some type of superwoman. Herein lies the problem, I feel.
There is a discrepancy between the hard won goals and achievements American woman have succeeded in, and the inability of American males to keep up with them.
Congratulations, that would be a completely socially acceptable thesis statement if you were writing a paper for any American college, but mere conformity isn't enough to see the truth. You say that your parents are first-generation immigrants, but few countries demand conformity as much as America does. The children of even first-generation immigrants in American usually lose most of their parents' traditions and culture and few learn the language of their parents well. Regardless of your eye shape or skin hue, you have been conditioned from birth to be an American woman.
Your statements do describe part of the problem, but your assumptions are the typical American feminist ones which lead to conclusions which always blame men and praise women (other ones are not tolerated in the American education system or media).
Indeed, many men in America are lagging behind women, not because of some innate flaw, but as the result of the influence of the education system and the media. Women are constantly praised in the media for simply being women and have endless options and support networks, whereas men are often vilified and blamed for the smallest flaws. Teachers in American grade schools and middle schools are mostly women who are feminists who preach feminism and praise girls and demean boys. Even by the third grade, many American girls are well on their way to becoming all-American super-bitches.
Kimiko wrote:
Now don't get me wrong, I tend to be somewhat old fashioned and believe that women should probably stay home with young children and raise them without them becoming latchkey kids. So I am flexible on my opinion on this matter. But why so much anger at American females from U.S. men? Has it ever occurred to some of you U.S. males that you guys have lost your chivalry, charm, even manliness? I for one have noticed it, though I have never argued with a man over it since I think many of them would deny my observations.
Tell me something, Kimiko. If you were a man and most of the time when you acted politely and chivalrously with women you were criticized or simply ignored, would you continue to do it? Furthermore, if you saw dominant men acting rudely to women and succeeding with them, wouldn't you question whether women wanted chivarly or not? This happens all the time in American life because most American women like the "bad boy" or jock-turned-businessman types.
Most of us here do indeed want to be kind gentlemen to women. But many American women (perhaps excluding you) act rudely to men even if the men are kind to them. Those of us here are simply tired of all that shit, tired of this double-standard, and tired of being American feminists' emotional punching bags. It's logical for us to move if we can get a better deal someplace else.
Kimiko wrote:As for myself, not only am I college educated (not that having a degree means everything)
Just so you don't go on with the assumption that most of the people here are uneducated, I should mention that many of us have degrees or are in college now. I myself have a degree in mathematics.
Kimiko wrote: Most American men don't talk to me, even if I am nice to them. They are kindly civilized, but don't seem that interested beyond casual talk. Some of them flirt with me, and I do respond positively, but they then stop and move on.
This is because they have been brutally shot down too many times by obnoxious American women. If you could ever feel what we have felt, you would understand. Your Persian boyfriend didn't have to deal with all this bullshit while he was growing up because he grew up in a man-worshipping culture which boosted his self-esteem instead of mercilessly tearing it down.
Kimiko wrote:
I have also noticed this phenomenon happen with other American women. They too have educations, are attractive, nice to talk to, but hardly any worthwhile, well raised men want to bother to ask the out for some reason.
Be very careful about what your standard for "worthwhile" is. Many of us here are fit, decent-looking, educated, and well-traveled, but that barely gets a man a cup of coffee in the American dating scene. I don't think you care so much about any of those characteristics as you do about the social status of the man. Is he important? Will your friends be jealous when you tell them about him? (Note that this implies that he fits some pre-established mold which has been promoted by the society's media.)
Kimiko wrote:
So no one understands the other, and nothing productive comes out of people of the opposite sex who might otherwise be compatible if they gave one another a chance.
Yeah, but it's much more often women who are doing the rejecting. Get a pretty girl to try asking out 100 random American men. I would guess that most of them would say, "Yes." Find a guy with the same level of good looks and have him try to ask out 100 random American women. Far fewer will say, "Yes." I guarantee it.
Kimiko wrote:
I have noticed young women these days to be very desperate to meet men, but feel the men are not in their league- NOT because they have to be "rich" but because they don't have the same education level, the same earning level, and they are crude and have no regard for appreciating females from their own country.
Well, poor them. They might actually have to f**k a guy who is one notch below their lofty expecations. American women are now reaping the consequences of artificially raising themselves above men in the media.
Maybe those women you talk about would like me. Maybe they wouldn't. I could care less. I'm never returning to America. I get far more respect and kindness here.
Another thing is what is your definition of "young"? If these women you're describing are in their 30s, then it's logical that men find them less desirable, despite any of their other achievements. All this "Sex in the City" "cougar" crap is an invention of the American media which preys upon the desperation of most American men. Nature dictates otherwise.
J.Adama wrote:
These are the women who insist that men become more sensitive. Then when men have become way too sensitive for them, they go back to saying that men should be more masculine. But masculinity is vilified and evil. In short, they dont think women should change at all, unless it is to become more masculine. But regardless men should do all the work and play the infinite guessing game balancing act between the level of masculinity and femininity each individual American woman will demand from him.
You hit the nail on the f***ing head. I couldn't agree more.
