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Are western men who marry Filipinas usually losers?

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Re: Are western men who marry Filipinas usually losers?

Postby momopi » Wed May 29, 2013 11:10 pm

S_Parc wrote:In America, even superstar Kobe Bryant is now a loser, given the fact that Vanessa's taking more than 1/2 his NBA earnings. Even Bryant would have been better off with a Filipina wife, setting her up in Manila in a great villa, and then, only having her spend time in LA during the regular pro season.


I think they reconciled and are not getting a divorce. Regardless, even if he had and lost half of his earnings, there's still a long line of women who'd happily jump into his bed.
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Re: Are western men who marry Filipinas usually losers?

Postby Banano » Wed May 29, 2013 11:23 pm

perception is that marrying Filipina is so beta, they have one of the lowest standards when it comes to looks, in another words anybody will do
its very common to see 60 or 70 yo man with 20-25 yo woman. what does it tell you about Filipinas

no other country can compare, maybe Thailand is the closest


if you are under 40 I would not even consider Filipina, you can have them when you turn 60..then again if you so undesirable and have no other choice then go for it but make sure you live in her city or village, don't bring her back
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Postby Christianfilipinacom » Sun Jun 02, 2013 5:24 pm

Banano, It's a poor country, and there are many young people. Simple supply and demand explains your observation, just as the same equation with different variables explains the predicament of many men who seek female companionship in rich countries with few young people.

As for your practical advice, it's also not very helpful. In most cases, if you marry a Filipina, the absolute worst place to live with her would be in her place. Elsewhere in the Philippines or elsewhere in the world is a much better idea.

To understand the OP question is to recognize that happiness/satisfaction can only be achieved once you set your own standards for them, rather than looking for approval from others.
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maid?

Postby targetguy » Sun Jun 02, 2013 5:25 pm

:lol: A lot of pi women may start off poor but they have ambition like many and can be a career gal also which may end up not so good. I was married for 27yrs and things were ok until she was around other pi gals, and most career gals really don't need a man to support them and we divorced. The ones that go to the usa are looking foracareer and are usually ambitious so they are no maid for sure.
no scammers
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Re: maid?

Postby clowny » Sun Jun 02, 2013 6:18 pm

targetguy wrote::lol: A lot of pi women may start off poor but they have ambition like many and can be a career gal also which may end up not so good. I was married for 27yrs and things were ok until she was around other pi gals, and most career gals really don't need a man to support them and we divorced. The ones that go to the usa are looking foracareer and are usually ambitious so they are no maid for sure.


27 years...wtf. Did you know she was a "career gal" when you married her?
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Postby Hero » Sun Jun 02, 2013 6:54 pm

My Filipina gf had no hang-ups about sex. She gave me sex and bj's almost any time I wanted them. And she did housework and cleaning for me too.
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Postby germanguy » Sun Jun 02, 2013 7:51 pm

Christianfilipinacom wrote:As for your practical advice, it's also not very helpful. In most cases, if you marry a Filipina, the absolute worst place to live with her would be in her place. Elsewhere in the Philippines or elsewhere in the world is a much better idea.


Why?

That makes no sense whatsoever... Moving somewhere else in the Philippines where the girl doesn´t know anybody is just making everything even more difficult and complicated. If you like living in the Philippines and your gf/wife is not living in a dangerous area of Mindanao then why not live in her home town or some bigger town nearby? That way you will also get introduced to a lot of people which means you have a chance to make a lot of friends easily. I am not married to a girl from the Philippines but I am married to a Myanmar woman. For me it´s great to live at my wife´s hometown. I am very well integrated since she was able to introduce me to a lot of people. I guess if we had to live in some other part of the country it would have been a lot more difficult.
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Postby davewe » Sun Jun 02, 2013 8:00 pm

germanguy wrote:
Christianfilipinacom wrote:As for your practical advice, it's also not very helpful. In most cases, if you marry a Filipina, the absolute worst place to live with her would be in her place. Elsewhere in the Philippines or elsewhere in the world is a much better idea.


Why?

That makes no sense whatsoever... Moving somewhere else in the Philippines where the girl doesn´t know anybody is just making everything even more difficult and complicated. If you like living in the Philippines and your gf/wife is not living in a dangerous area of Mindanao then why not live in her home town or some bigger town nearby? That way you will also get introduced to a lot of people which means you have a chance to make a lot of friends easily. I am not married to a girl from the Philippines but I am married to a Myanmar woman. For me it´s great to live at my wife´s hometown. I am very well integrated since she was able to introduce me to a lot of people. I guess if we had to live in some other part of the country it would have been a lot more difficult.


The standard reasoning in PI is that living in her hometown means her family can show up any time at your home. They may show up to ask you for money, invite themselves to dinner or use whatever conveniences you have. Since your home will in most cases be the nicest in the family it will become a focal point. Since you have more money than anyone else in the family, you may become a money lender. I am not even talking about the "bad" families. Even among honest and good Filipino families, the standard is that the most successful member pays and no one thinks twice about calling you in advance before they come over. If you are good with this - great. Most Westerners are not.

The often heard rule of thumb is to live 3 islands away; she is still close enough to visit the family, but not so close as to make it easy for family member to drop by.

Of course YMMV.
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Postby Rock » Sun Jun 02, 2013 8:24 pm

Christianfilipinacom wrote:Banano, It's a poor country, and there are many young people. Simple supply and demand explains your observation, just as the same equation with different variables explains the predicament of many men who seek female companionship in rich countries with few young people.


No there's more to it than that. Consider some countries which on per-capita basis are poorer such as
- India
- Vietnam
- Cambodia
- Uzbekistan
- Laos
- Ghana
- Kenya
- Uganda
- Nepal
- Haiti
- Ethiopia
- Madagascar
- Others

Why don't any of those countries seem as extreme as Banano describes Phils? India is particularly bad and most of the others are still significantly more difficult for the very old and/or ugly foreigners who wanna get the very young girls in LTR.
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Postby Anonymous1 » Sun Jun 02, 2013 8:44 pm

Rock wrote:
Christianfilipinacom wrote:Banano, It's a poor country, and there are many young people. Simple supply and demand explains your observation, just as the same equation with different variables explains the predicament of many men who seek female companionship in rich countries with few young people.


No there's more to it than that. Consider some countries which on per-capita basis are poorer such as
- India
- Vietnam
- Cambodia
- Uzbekistan
- Laos
- Ghana
- Kenya
- Uganda
- Nepal
- Haiti
- Ethiopia
- Madagascar
- Others

Why don't any of those countries seem as extreme as Banano describes Phils? India is particularly bad and most of the others are still significantly more difficult for the very old and/or ugly foreigners who wanna get the very young girls in LTR.


but dont forget...many of these women who have no standards lool like skeletor
Image
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Postby germanguy » Sun Jun 02, 2013 8:48 pm

davewe wrote:
The standard reasoning in PI is that living in her hometown means her family can show up any time at your home. They may show up to ask you for money, invite themselves to dinner or use whatever conveniences you have. Since your home will in most cases be the nicest in the family it will become a focal point. Since you have more money than anyone else in the family, you may become a money lender. I am not even talking about the "bad" families. Even among honest and good Filipino families, the standard is that the most successful member pays and no one thinks twice about calling you in advance before they come over. If you are good with this - great. Most Westerners are not.

The often heard rule of thumb is to live 3 islands away; she is still close enough to visit the family, but not so close as to make it easy for family member to drop by.

Of course YMMV.


Well I am ok with people coming over to eat dinner with us... I have eaten dinner at other people´s homes so many times that it would be a major asshole move to not allow other people to eat at my home. Same goes for using "conveniences"... I guess you mean TV, Computer, stuff like that? It´s not part of Asian culture that the foreigner/rich guy has to pay for everything. When you visit somebody then it´s only normal they will offer you something to drink and eat. Of course this also means that you need to act the same when people come over to visit you. This is 50/50 balanced in my case... Might be different in the Philippines but I doubt it.

I have never borrowed money to anyone, nobody ever asked me. If somebody asked me I would only borrow money if it is a very small amount with a reasonable explanation behind why it´s needed. Of course you have to be aware that there is a big chance you are never going to get it back so that must be considered.

It´s part of Asian culture and traditions that husband + wife have to support the family, especially if they are poor. If you marry an traditional Asian woman then you need to know that. A decent family is not going to ask unreasonable things of you. A bad one however will. But that doesn´t mean that it´s part of the culture to trick and cheat man. On the other hand, there are no divorce courts so if one day you just decide to take all your things and run then the wife is going to be in a terrible situation without any money and nowhere to go.

These prejudices against people from the Philippines and SE asia come from foreigners who date/marry hookers or other "bad-girls"... It´s the sad truth that most Pinay/Foreigner relationships are based on nothing but money. That´s why you need to take the experiences of these people with a grain of salt.

I know lots of people in SE asia that have married into a fantastic family. Obviously these are not the ones that met their wife at Angeles or Pattaya.
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Postby davewe » Sun Jun 02, 2013 9:15 pm

germanguy wrote:
davewe wrote:
The standard reasoning in PI is that living in her hometown means her family can show up any time at your home. They may show up to ask you for money, invite themselves to dinner or use whatever conveniences you have. Since your home will in most cases be the nicest in the family it will become a focal point. Since you have more money than anyone else in the family, you may become a money lender. I am not even talking about the "bad" families. Even among honest and good Filipino families, the standard is that the most successful member pays and no one thinks twice about calling you in advance before they come over. If you are good with this - great. Most Westerners are not.

The often heard rule of thumb is to live 3 islands away; she is still close enough to visit the family, but not so close as to make it easy for family member to drop by.

Of course YMMV.


Well I am ok with people coming over to eat dinner with us... I have eaten dinner at other people´s homes so many times that it would be a major asshole move to not allow other people to eat at my home. Same goes for using "conveniences"... I guess you mean TV, Computer, stuff like that? It´s not part of Asian culture that the foreigner/rich guy has to pay for everything. When you visit somebody then it´s only normal they will offer you something to drink and eat. Of course this also means that you need to act the same when people come over to visit you. This is 50/50 balanced in my case... Might be different in the Philippines but I doubt it.

I have never borrowed money to anyone, nobody ever asked me. If somebody asked me I would only borrow money if it is a very small amount with a reasonable explanation behind why it´s needed. Of course you have to be aware that there is a big chance you are never going to get it back so that must be considered.

It´s part of Asian culture and traditions that husband + wife have to support the family, especially if they are poor. If you marry an traditional Asian woman then you need to know that. A decent family is not going to ask unreasonable things of you. A bad one however will. But that doesn´t mean that it´s part of the culture to trick and cheat man. On the other hand, there are no divorce courts so if one day you just decide to take all your things and run then the wife is going to be in a terrible situation without any money and nowhere to go.

These prejudices against people from the Philippines and SE asia come from foreigners who date/marry hookers or other "bad-girls"... It´s the sad truth that most Pinay/Foreigner relationships are based on nothing but money. That´s why you need to take the experiences of these people with a grain of salt.

I know lots of people in SE asia that have married into a fantastic family. Obviously these are not the ones that met their wife at Angeles or Pattaya.


I think you misunderstood what I and ChristianFilipina wrote. You asked why someone might feel that way and I told you why. This does not mean all Filipino families are bad, ask for money, leach off of the Western husband. Some do of course but many don't. As to whether it is a 50-50 relationship, that's debatable. The guy is one man surrounded by what might be a large family. The family may well be a good group but he may feel overwhelmed by the attention, the requests, etc. He may well be a guy wanting to enjoy expat life with his wife and kids, not have his house opened to the entire family.

And, just as many Westerners move away from their home town, not all Filipinas want to live in their home town. In most cases the town is a small one in the provinces with not much to do and no job opportunities. Any girl with any smarts dreams of something more. My gf loves her family dearly but moved away 5 years ago to pursue an education and better life. She has never spoken of the desire to return to her hometown. Actually I kinda like the area, but she recognizes that not being too close to the family is best and the opportunities in other areas of PI are greater.

Finally, the cliche of all these foreigners marrying hookers and bar girls and assorted bad girls is offensive and generally untrue. Not that I would have any issue with anyone who has a wife who used to be a bar girl, but there are many members here on HA married to Filipinas or with Filipina gfs - and they aren't bar girls.

As with all cultures it is always YMMV. I know several guys who live with their wives in the family hometown. For some it works and for some it does not. But I certainly wouldn't judge anyone in any country who wanted a little space between himself and his inlaws.
Last edited by davewe on Sun Jun 02, 2013 11:41 pm, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: Are western men who marry Filipinas usually losers?

Postby Taco » Sun Jun 02, 2013 10:58 pm

clowny wrote:..who could not get a western woman to love them?

I have started to think seriously about getting a filipina, because let's face it, all that a westernised woman is going to bring to your marriage is problems; nagging, drama, bickering, arguments about money, etc. Whereas a filipina could bring you the following (I hope):

-cooking
-cleaning
-ironing
-having sex
-sucking your dick (although im not really into that)
-shutting the f**k up
-children

In other words, basically a maid who you can f**k. Can anybody here whose married to a filipina testify that they do the above? Or am I dreaming?


Here's what I've experienced.

1. cooking - yes
2. cleaning - yes
3. ironing - yes
4. having sex - yes
5. sucking your dick (although im not really into that) - yes
6. shutting the f**k up - no, haven't met many women that were good at being quiet but she doesn't complain much
7. children - yes

Also, you don't have to pay for a wedding ring or take them on an expensive honeymoon.
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Postby Ghost » Mon Jun 03, 2013 12:40 am

I think it's just the opposite. Men who marry Filipinas are often winners when it comes to picking for a good wife and mother of his children.

I know I really like how many Filipinas look, how kind-hearted they are, and how nurturing they are. (Well, haven't been to PI yet, but want to go there in the next year or so and I'll be in Asia.) The relatively few exceptions are those in Manila/Luzon I think. Maybe some in other bigger cities. That's from those I've chatted with online anyway.
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Postby weiser » Mon Jun 03, 2013 8:26 am

It is a myth that most Filipinas are happy to marry a foreign man vastly older than themselves. They know they will be instantly branded as gold diggers and the men as dirty old perverts. All other things being equal, they prefer a man closer to their own age.

This type of relationship where the Filipina is very young, say 18-20 and the man 60+ is less common than the stereotype anyway. It is just that those couples where the age difference is massive tend to stand out, for all the wrong reasons.

If you are a man seeking a Filipina girlfriend or wife, just because you can get a very young girl. doesn't necessarily mean that you should. I've seen many cases where the older man (60-70) brings home his very young Filipina bride to my country and, as soon as she gains her permanent residence, she runs off with a boyfriend closer to her own age. Why wouldn't she? She has the same feelings and hopes as any other young woman in the world does.
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