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It seems like in America, you have to be perfect to fit in

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It seems like in America, you have to be perfect to fit in

Postby Mr.Darcy » June 20th, 2013, 2:00 am

Also, to get girls. Girls can be awkard as f**k, shy, not health conscience, or etc and still be able to choose from the top men. Men have to be well oiled machines to even have a chance. Like I have some awkwardness characteristics about me because I am not perfect. The girl I was previously with was awkward and weird too, but I looked past that. I'm pretty sure she dropped me because I said one weird riddle and the grapevine hated me. You are a product of your environment. If everybody is treating you like a star than off course you're going to be confidence and cocky.
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Re: It seems like in America, you have to be perfect to fit

Postby zboy1 » June 20th, 2013, 2:33 am

Mr.Darcy wrote:Also, to get girls. Girls can be awkard as f**k, shy, not health conscience, or etc and still be able to choose from the top men. Men have to be well oiled machines to even have a chance. Like I have some awkwardness characteristics about me because I am not perfect. The girl I was previously with was awkward and weird too, but I looked past that. I'm pretty sure she dropped me because I said one weird riddle and the grapevine hated me. You are a product of your environment. If everybody is treating you like a star than off course you're going to be confidence and cocky.


Yes. And ever notice how American men act like total jerks and frequently put other men down--in order to be taken seriously (and be popular) with both males and females in the country ? Am I right or am I wrong in my observations of American men?
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Re: It seems like in America, you have to be perfect to fit

Postby Adama » June 20th, 2013, 3:56 am

Mr.Darcy wrote:Also, to get girls. Girls can be awkard as f**k, shy, not health conscience, or etc and still be able to choose from the top men. Men have to be well oiled machines to even have a chance. Like I have some awkwardness characteristics about me because I am not perfect. The girl I was previously with was awkward and weird too, but I looked past that. I'm pretty sure she dropped me because I said one weird riddle and the grapevine hated me. You are a product of your environment. If everybody is treating you like a star than off course you're going to be confidence and cocky.


They are focked in the head. All of them, from early on til they die.

I've said this many times. AWs will relentlessly search for a reason to dump and diss you. Period. She could have been seemingly crazy for you for months. That can change in a matter of minutes without warning. They are extremely susceptible to the opinions of other women and their gossip. One bad word from another woman (or better yet, if the other women gang up on her about you) can turn her against you.

Or she could just convince herself out of the blue that you arent good enough because of xyz. There are thousands of things that can cause an AW to pull the trigger.

I do not believe they have a true moral center or consciences. The same can be said for men, but most of those men simply have low IQ or some other anomalies.


At my last job, my female boss loved me. Over time, the women who worked there, who she was friends with, worked on her and chipped away at her once they had enough psychological ammunition to change her mind. Women will work relentlessly to slander someone. Meanwhile, they will smile to that someone's face and pretend to be best friends.

My advice would be: do not attempt more than casual conversation with American women, regarding the weather, celebrities, or something else relatively innocent. Do not attempt to forge a relationship that could lead to sex. Do not attempt to become friends with them (cause that means they will learn information about you which they will use against you later, or even currently behind your back). Do not express personal opinions on anything, especially not other people, other classes of people, politics, your likes and dislikes, etc.
Look for women who automatically want to please you because it pleases them. Any woman who seeks to please her man is a treasure. Even better if you don't have to ask but rather suggest.
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Re: It seems like in America, you have to be perfect to fit

Postby Adama » June 20th, 2013, 4:02 am

zboy1 wrote:
Mr.Darcy wrote:Also, to get girls. Girls can be awkard as f**k, shy, not health conscience, or etc and still be able to choose from the top men. Men have to be well oiled machines to even have a chance. Like I have some awkwardness characteristics about me because I am not perfect. The girl I was previously with was awkward and weird too, but I looked past that. I'm pretty sure she dropped me because I said one weird riddle and the grapevine hated me. You are a product of your environment. If everybody is treating you like a star than off course you're going to be confidence and cocky.


Yes. And ever notice how American men act like total jerks and frequently put other men down--in order to be taken seriously (and be popular) with both males and females in the country ? Am I right or am I wrong in my observations of American men?


You are right. A person has to be better than someone, especially when they feel insecure about what they have to offer (which is essentially admitting to themselves in a round about way that they have nothing to offer).

This results in kicking a man while he's down in order for them to feel good about themselves. Or in other words, if they can push someone else down, they become higher in a relative sense by stepping on that person.

This only works when the person putting others down has a real problem of their own (or is mentally stunted).

It is well-known that the biggest bullies are those who are the most insecure.

As Fschmidt would tell us, the problem most likely goes back to the relative unavailability of decent women in society.
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Re: It seems like in America, you have to be perfect to fit

Postby Teal Lantern » June 20th, 2013, 6:10 am

Mr.Darcy wrote:Also, to get girls. Girls can be awkard as f**k, shy, not health conscience, or etc and still be able to choose from the top men. Men have to be well oiled machines to even have a chance. Like I have some awkwardness characteristics about me because I am not perfect. The girl I was previously with was awkward and weird too, but I looked past that. I'm pretty sure she dropped me because I said one weird riddle and the grapevine hated me. You are a product of your environment. If everybody is treating you like a star than off course you're going to be confidence and cocky.


Who are some of these "top men" getting with awkward fatties? What are they "top" at?
не поглеждай назад. 8)

"Even an American judge is unlikely to award child support for imputed children." - FredOnEverything
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Postby Repatriate » June 20th, 2013, 10:18 am

What you see is hypergamy on full display and gone wild. Where middle class men become alpha male caricatures with bulging muscles shit attitudes and scene based lifestyles to get with a very small % of reasonably attractive and available women in America. These women for the most part are also into finding the highest value male but in American terms "value" is more about how this guy can entertain or titulate her from what is a boring middle class existence.
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Postby S_Parc » June 20th, 2013, 2:54 pm

In order to fit in, in America, one needs to be gay. And that's about it.

The gays have an actual culture, a society of sorts, behind the veil of the lies of heterosexual normalcy.

In reality, hetero men are the biggest losers of the land. They've convinced themselves that they're "mainstream" but in reality, have a permanent mid-life crisis [ not age dependent anymore ] as much of their lives are living a lie. Now that I'm in my mid-30s, I see this as the near total condition of guys who're hooked up to women (typically AWs, sometimes FWs), who believe that they have their acts together.

I suspect that some of the truly relaxed and confident men in my martial arts dojo, may be gay or bi. In contrast, the heteros always feel like they have something to prove to one another. Now granted, I expect many men in their 20s to have a dossier of insecurities but men in their 30s/40s with GFs/wives/kids should be a bit more well adjusted and confident but in reality, they're miserable and use non-work venues to escape from the horror which is their daily lives.

All and all Mr Darcy, don't feel bad. You don't want to be mainstream anymore. Those days ended in the 80s.
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Postby mrmillersd » June 23rd, 2013, 6:31 pm

Honestly, as an Asian in America I completely disagree. I have found it very easy to date western woman in HS and college. I didn't even grow up here, but I have absolutely no accent and am very charismatic. I am also a college varsity athlete, and exceptionally cultured person.


You dont have to be perfect, but you have to be at least SOMEWHAT manly....that means tall, athletic, confident-traits that are "alpha" man traits. Its simply natural that women want a tall handsome confident athletic man......


However, if you guys are saying its even EASIER abroad....Ill have to see for myself :) as i dont know anything BUT the american dating market
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Postby Mr.Darcy » June 23rd, 2013, 6:44 pm

mrmillersd wrote:Honestly, as an Asian in America I completely disagree. I have found it very easy to date western woman in HS and college. I didn't even grow up here, but I have absolutely no accent and am very charismatic. I am also a college varsity athlete, and exceptionally cultured person.


You dont have to be perfect, but you have to be at least SOMEWHAT manly....that means tall, athletic, confident-traits that are "alpha" man traits. Its simply natural that women want a tall handsome confident athletic man......


However, if you guys are saying its even EASIER abroad....Ill have to see for myself :) as i dont know anything BUT the american dating market


You asians are the model minority and have more potential than the other minorities. Whites do not feel threatened by y'all, so they like yall more than the hispanics and blacks. This might change once it is more apparent that the asian nations are catching up to us though.
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Postby Repatriate » June 23rd, 2013, 8:47 pm

mrmillersd wrote:Honestly, as an Asian in America I completely disagree. I have found it very easy to date western woman in HS and college. I didn't even grow up here, but I have absolutely no accent and am very charismatic. I am also a college varsity athlete, and exceptionally cultured person.


You dont have to be perfect, but you have to be at least SOMEWHAT manly....that means tall, athletic, confident-traits that are "alpha" man traits. Its simply natural that women want a tall handsome confident athletic man......


However, if you guys are saying its even EASIER abroad....Ill have to see for myself :) as i dont know anything BUT the american dating market


Women will always date the exceptions of any race. Unless there are some serious institutional impediments which block it like 1930-40's Nazi Germany or something. It sounds like you're the exception being an athletic and tall asian male however look at asian-americans in general in the U.S. How many of these tall and athletic types do you see? I remember in college most asian men and women were bookish or trying hard to fit into some other scene like hip-hop/raver mimicking black or alternative white culture instead of developing their own unique personality and social circle. Asian culture in America has created a race of low EQ betas. Women can excel ins1ide that beta framework in society as long as they latch onto a higher status man but for men it's a death knell for social life in ultra competitive U.S.
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Postby mrmillersd » June 23rd, 2013, 9:58 pm

my point is that i see TONS of sociall awkward, unculutured, unathletic nerds of ALL races get no girls. LOTS of guys in my dorm are typical americans-blonde blue eyes-but are beta, unathletic, and awkward.... I get way more girls then they do
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Postby S_Parc » June 24th, 2013, 3:45 am

mrmillersd wrote:my point is that i see TONS of sociall awkward, unculutured, unathletic nerds of ALL races get no girls. LOTS of guys in my dorm are typical americans-blonde blue eyes-but are beta, unathletic, and awkward.... I get way more girls then they do


First of all, what do you mean by uncultured? I know ppl who talk about a topics, ranging from eastern philosophies all the way to Latin dancing. Next, does athletic mean looking like Arnold Schwarzenegger or some toned up guy, who plays b-ball and tennis, from time to time. And awkward means what, again? Is this like the Univ of Chicago, where dorks talk about their essays on Plato during a baseball tournament, trying to look smarter than their peers at the Univ of Illinois?
16 years ago, the Best Picture of 1999, "American Beauty", telegraphed the message of Happier Abroad to the world.

Beware of long term engagements with AWs, you may find yourself in a coffin.

AB discussion thread

BTW, despite settling down with an AW, myself, the warning is still in effect.
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Postby Adama » June 24th, 2013, 4:35 am

mrmillersd wrote:my point is that i see TONS of sociall awkward, unculutured, unathletic nerds of ALL races get no girls. LOTS of guys in my dorm are typical americans-blonde blue eyes-but are beta, unathletic, and awkward.... I get way more girls then they do


Sure, I can mostly buy that. Socially awkward. Well, I think those just may be the shy guys. But many times, any person a woman doesnt like is socially awkward. I have had a couple of females spread rumors that I have Asbergers. Their reasoning was that I am anti social. How about I'm not social with those particular women cause I get a bad vibe. Isnt that possible? haha nope.

I do see that you are hung up on athletics, awkwardness, height, blondes and blue eyes though. Those may be your particular biased perception. But what do I know?
Look for women who automatically want to please you because it pleases them. Any woman who seeks to please her man is a treasure. Even better if you don't have to ask but rather suggest.
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Postby Mr.Darcy » June 24th, 2013, 6:39 am

What's funny is that most girls have worst personalities than awkward guys. It is like a chore hanging out with them. They can get away with this though because the slit in between their leg triumphs everything.
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Postby AnonymousAmerican » June 24th, 2013, 11:34 pm

@Mr.Darcy

The AW is a unique species. Treat them like that, as adama has said to do, and you will do fine while you try to plan your great american escape.
A bartender told me this while I was in Guadalajara Mexico:

"If you aren't careful here with the women, you will be married in a week."

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kMNPv_HXffQ

how I live my life.

how to survive in the US: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=19236
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