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Race And Dating In America

Discuss and talk about any general topic.

Moderators: jamesbond, fschmidt

Postby SilverEnergy » Sun Jul 28, 2013 5:57 pm

I'm black and I've been able to get white, asian and hispanic girls but it's all about location in the U.S. and who you know.

If you don't know many people as a guy, you can forget about dating in America no matter who much money or good looks you have.

But truthfully, it's hard for ANY race of man in America to get dates who isn't in the top 10-15 percent and it's only going to get worse.

Women will continue to get pickier in America.

One person posted on here that they knew men who were "9s" and made $100,000 and couldn't get dates in America.

That's unreal.

I'm not against marriage but DON'T get married in America or it's your a**.

But find SOLUTIONS, get your passport and head overseas.

Complaining about it won't change anything in America.
"Allow me to show you the Power Cosmic!" - Silver Surfer
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Postby Jeremy » Sun Jul 28, 2013 6:30 pm

SilverEnergy wrote:If you don't know many people as a guy, you can forget about dating in America no matter who much money or good looks you have.


This is true. American girls are so cliquish and uptight that a guy has to be introduced through friends first just to be in the running.

I've been talking to a "hot guy" (6'6", 210 lbs., fitness model physique, handsome face, tan) who says he has to approach HUNDREDS of girls in person just to get one lay. If you're not "hot," your odds through cold approaching are basically nil.

So much for girls caring about sex lol.
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Postby Falcon » Sun Jul 28, 2013 7:49 pm

Funny thing is, in some places like Mexico, being a white Anglo male is a disadvantage if you want to date the local women. Many mestizas in Central Mexico would prefer a chinito who's genuinely into their culture versus the average gringo with his sharp facial features and rawr rawr rawr accent. With the exception of AmericanInMexico and fschmidt, so many white guys here complain about Mexican women as not easy. :P Just check out threads like: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=19456

I see the same thing in Thailand to some extent. Just ask Ladislav.
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Postby Introvert » Tue Jul 30, 2013 5:03 pm

Maverick wrote:
mguy wrote:No hate maverick. I just find it ironic that we have these minority guys who'd give for what you have (normalcy). Just like that scene with saving priv Ryan and he goes "everyone has the right to go home, be with family, and ur throwing it away" I think u can get away with a priv session with a PUA it is not that bad at least from a minority perspective.


I did PUA for 5 years, man. I know all about it. I don't have problems picking up girls from bars. I don't have problems getting girls from social circles. I've dated plenty of girls in the past.

Here's why I don't want to date here anymore:
- You CONSTANTLY have to game. Even if the girl isn't hot, you always have to think before you do things or consider whether or not what you feel like doing is the best thing to do to get/keep her.
- You can't show any signs of insecurity.
- If you show you care too much, she'll call you clingy.
- They cheat constantly.
- They lose interest very easily, sometimes for no reason at all.
- When they become comfortable with you, they get fat.

And, of course, there's always the whole 50% divorce rate, 70% of which are initiated by women. This has been beat to a dead horse here. Do I really need to elaborate on it?

Even more, here are some of my personal experiences (or experiences of my friends):
- A girl I was dating for over a year called me by TWO other names in bed.
- A girl that I knew for a while lied to be about being single. We were having sex and her BOYFRIEND showed up at my house.
- A girl I was dating from 3 months, that I talked to for everyday and knew for longer, neglected to tell me that she had a child (I found out through a mutual friend). What's worse is that when she acknowledged the kid, I found that she treated him like shit and was verbally abusive to him.
- I googled another girl I was dating and found out the she was convicted of a felony.
- The old story about a girl cheating, divorcing the guy, getting the kids and house, and the guy having to pay child support and alimony (this happened to 4 guys I know off the top of my head).
- Many of my female "friends" lie to and cheat on their boyfriends and are proud of this.
- Generally, the best case scenarios that I see here in marriages (or even LTR) are the guys being hopelessly led around and treated like shit by their girlfriends/wives. BEST case scenarios (except for foreign wives, who seem to respect their husbands more....something that I see often because I'm in the military and a lot of guys here bring foreign wives back).

My best experiences, by far, were with foreign girls (some just visiting on a visa, others who had lived in the US for a while).

Trust me, getting girls in the US is NOT that big of a deal.

I have no interest in going to another country and taking advantage of innocent girls. I don't want to just f**k a ton. I'd like to get married and have a family in the somewhat near future. I'd like a woman that actually cares about my feelings and that will accept me for my insecurities. I want someone that is sweet, kind, and loyal. THAT is why I'm looking to date foreign girls. Frankly, I don't think American women will make good mothers overall and I don't want to raise my kids in this environment. So I'm considering other options.


And this is what PUA doesn't/can't/refuses to address. I thoroughly believe that guys that get into PUA start off just wanting a girlfriend. As in ONE. But when they start with game, they are told that they shouldn't want a girlfriend. Rather, they should want to up their numbers as much as possible. They are taught that love does not exist. After doing so many approaches and getting results (because PUA does work, just not in the ways one would hope), those guys become numb to the idea of love and romance. They get jaded BECAUSE what they have learned works so well. Some even become disgusted by how well it works.

And to the other point of having to game her everyday, yes - that is disheartening. You can't ever let your guard down and just love her... what you do to get her is what you do to keep her. That's why I completely agree with your last paragraph in bold. I feel the exact same way.

Sorry to sidetrack the thread. It's just that you brought up a few excellent points that many people don't talk about.

As far as the topic of the thread, I just count my blessings that I was overlooked. The way I see it, I dodged a bullet like Neo.
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Postby kai1275 » Tue Jul 30, 2013 5:16 pm

Falcon wrote:Funny thing is, in some places like Mexico, being a white Anglo male is a disadvantage if you want to date the local women. Many mestizas in Central Mexico would prefer a chinito who's genuinely into their culture versus the average gringo with his sharp facial features and rawr rawr rawr accent. With the exception of AmericanInMexico and fschmidt, so many white guys here complain about Mexican women as not easy. :P Just check out threads like: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=19456

I see the same thing in Thailand to some extent. Just ask Ladislav.


I do not think any man does well in Mexico without good Spanish skills. Even if you sound like a student from Spain with your accent, good Spanish is critical. Not just that, if your knowledge of Mexican culture sucks, you might as well stick to American Hispanics...at least they will be more tolerant of your ignorance. The white skins help alot but you cannot make too many shortcuts on language and culture and expect results. Some exceptions might be rich elite High society Mexican women that speak probably 5 languages fluently. They are easy to talk to, hot, and incredibly intelligent. Of course they are rich and might become stuck up with high demands later as opposed to being that way on initial approach.
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Postby Falcon » Tue Jul 30, 2013 6:44 pm

Yeah, Spanish is definitely #1, I've posted about that here: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=14191 .

But even some Anglos with very good Spanish skills report getting negative attitudes from anti-Anglo Mexicans.
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Postby kai1275 » Tue Jul 30, 2013 6:59 pm

Falcon wrote:Yeah, Spanish is definitely #1, I've posted about that here: http://www.happierabroad.com/forum/view ... hp?t=14191 .

But even some Anglos with very good Spanish skills report getting negative attitudes from anti-Anglo Mexicans.


My next question would be, how well do they know Mexican culture? Some of us in the US that grew up with many Mexican friends might know some "Tex-Mex" junk or Cali-Mex stuff, but it is not hard if you hang out in the right circles of buddies. One of the reasons why my other best friend who is from Monterrey likes me so much, is because I already knew so much about Mexican culture and could speak Spanish, Mexican style, before I met him in college. I learned it from all my high school friends, that were nearly all Mexican immigrants.
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