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Chat Log of conversation with Chinese woman

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Chat Log of conversation with Chinese woman

Postby RedMenace » Mon Aug 12, 2013 11:30 am

Obviously the names and date have been changed(except year and time) to protect the identities of all involved. Her friend's name has been changed to MEI. Where ever you see sasa its what she calls me(nickname from my real name).
Anyways what do you think is behind her emotional reaction?

Image
RedMenace
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Postby kai1275 » Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:07 pm

She sounds silly and immature. For what sounds like a closed minded country gal, her English is certainly better than usual. She does not appear to be a keeper from a quick glance or the kind of wife material you could take outside China. She comes off as perhaps too stubborn to be a good wife for a laowai/western man.

She also comes off as someone trying to hide lots of things too. She basically sounds "sha bi" (SB) and not worth bothering with, but there is possibly lots of context we are missing too.
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Postby RedMenace » Mon Aug 12, 2013 2:25 pm

kai1275 wrote:She sounds silly and immature. For what sounds like a closed minded country gal, her English is certainly better than usual. She does not appear to be a keeper from a quick glance or the kind of wife material you could take outside China. She comes off as perhaps too stubborn to be a good wife for a laowai/western man.

She also comes off as someone trying to hide lots of things too. She basically sounds "sha bi" (SB) and not worth bothering with, but there is possibly lots of context we are missing too.

Hey English is better because I taught her. When I started speaking to her she had to use her friend to translate. I think she acts all emotional during her menstrual cycle. That's what I mean when I said I have to beat round the bush to get to the information. I assume she is very conserved which is why she isn't direct. Mind you we haven't met in person.
Last edited by RedMenace on Mon Aug 12, 2013 4:46 pm, edited 1 time in total.
RedMenace
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Posts: 218
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Postby kai1275 » Mon Aug 12, 2013 3:36 pm

RedMenace wrote:
kai1275 wrote:She sounds silly and immature. For what sounds like a closed minded country gal, her English is certainly better than usual. She does not appear to be a keeper from a quick glance or the kind of wife material you could take outside China. She comes off as perhaps too stubborn to be a good wife for a laowai/western man.

She also comes off as someone trying to hide lots of things too. She basically sounds "sha bi" (SB) and not worth bothering with, but there is possibly lots of context we are missing too.

Hey English is better because I taught her. When I started speaking to her she had to use her friend to translate. I think she acts all emotional during her menstrual cycle. That's what I mean when I said I want have to beat round the bush to get to the information. I assume she is very conserved which is why she isn't direct. Mind you we haven't met in person.


If reading women's minds was that easy, few men would struggle. I don't think we have enough information to know exactly what is being discussed exactly. She obviously is feeling peer pressure from some people, that she needs to stop spending time or talking to you, or other laowai in general. She is conflicted about what to do in life, and sounds like she wishes she was one of those "homer" simpleminded Chinese people, which screams too immature to make her own path.

Sounds like she is conflicted about whether to dump you or not. Sometimes, you cannot get far at all with a Chinese woman until you meet them in person first within a few-handful of months of meeting them. Any longer than that, and it gets subject to long distance relationship fatigue.
kai1275
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Postby RedMenace » Mon Aug 12, 2013 4:55 pm

kai1275 wrote:
RedMenace wrote:
kai1275 wrote:She sounds silly and immature. For what sounds like a closed minded country gal, her English is certainly better than usual. She does not appear to be a keeper from a quick glance or the kind of wife material you could take outside China. She comes off as perhaps too stubborn to be a good wife for a laowai/western man.

She also comes off as someone trying to hide lots of things too. She basically sounds "sha bi" (SB) and not worth bothering with, but there is possibly lots of context we are missing too.

Hey English is better because I taught her. When I started speaking to her she had to use her friend to translate. I think she acts all emotional during her menstrual cycle. That's what I mean when I said I want have to beat round the bush to get to the information. I assume she is very conserved which is why she isn't direct. Mind you we haven't met in person.


If reading women's minds was that easy, few men would struggle. I don't think we have enough information to know exactly what is being discussed exactly. She obviously is feeling peer pressure from some people, that she needs to stop spending time or talking to you, or other laowai in general. She is conflicted about what to do in life, and sounds like she wishes she was one of those "homer" simpleminded Chinese people, which screams too immature to make her own path.

Sounds like she is conflicted about whether to dump you or not. Sometimes, you cannot get far at all with a Chinese woman until you meet them in person first within a few-handful of months of meeting them. Any longer than that, and it gets subject to long distance relationship fatigue.

Everything was fine the day before. She was happy when i spoke to her. Then the next day out of no where she said she doesn't want to speak to me and her friend. She probably had a conversation with her friend who told her a bunch of good things about me. So maybe she thought I was trying to get with her friend too and got jealous. I think its most likely long distance fatigue because I don't really have the financial means to meet her this year. She said she would come to me during her holiday but am not really hopeful. So right now I am just trying to keep things in order until I can travel to China.
RedMenace
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Posts: 218
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Location: United Kingdom

Postby kai1275 » Mon Aug 12, 2013 5:40 pm

RedMenace wrote:
kai1275 wrote:
RedMenace wrote:
kai1275 wrote:She sounds silly and immature. For what sounds like a closed minded country gal, her English is certainly better than usual. She does not appear to be a keeper from a quick glance or the kind of wife material you could take outside China. She comes off as perhaps too stubborn to be a good wife for a laowai/western man.

She also comes off as someone trying to hide lots of things too. She basically sounds "sha bi" (SB) and not worth bothering with, but there is possibly lots of context we are missing too.

Hey English is better because I taught her. When I started speaking to her she had to use her friend to translate. I think she acts all emotional during her menstrual cycle. That's what I mean when I said I want have to beat round the bush to get to the information. I assume she is very conserved which is why she isn't direct. Mind you we haven't met in person.


If reading women's minds was that easy, few men would struggle. I don't think we have enough information to know exactly what is being discussed exactly. She obviously is feeling peer pressure from some people, that she needs to stop spending time or talking to you, or other laowai in general. She is conflicted about what to do in life, and sounds like she wishes she was one of those "homer" simpleminded Chinese people, which screams too immature to make her own path.

Sounds like she is conflicted about whether to dump you or not. Sometimes, you cannot get far at all with a Chinese woman until you meet them in person first within a few-handful of months of meeting them. Any longer than that, and it gets subject to long distance relationship fatigue.

Everything was fine the day before. She was happy when i spoke to her. Then the next day out of no where she said she doesn't want to speak to me and her friend. She probably had a conversation with her friend who told her a bunch of good things about me. So maybe she thought I was trying to get with her friend too and got jealous. I think its most likely long distance fatigue because I don't really have the financial means to meet her this year. She said she would come to me during her holiday but am not really hopeful. So right now I am just trying to keep things in order until I can travel to China.


Well, there you go. The long distance fatigue can break even the most decent woman. Before you know it, they are acting like the women you dumped before meeting them! This is one of the reasons why many men refuse to date abroad, because it takes a strong person to make it work. I will be honest, even I felt like giving up a few times when I was away from my wife. It's just very f***ing hard sometimes. Even if I had enough time off to go back more and more, the travel fatigue was enough to irritate me.

Put yourself in her shoes for a bit with what you know about Chinese life. She is fast becoming a sheng nu and family pressure to hurry up and get married and have kids is probably driving her crazy. Combined with long distance relationship fatigue, it puts enormous pressure on her. Remember they decide quickly. If you are not able to take her on, she is going to "think Chinese" and move on without you.

Sad story indeed, but the good news is that if you cannot get her because you are not ready yet, (aren't you 19?), then there are many many more out there than will be when the time is right for you. It does suck to let a nice one go, but don't beat yourself up over it. Take the medicine and learn from it and your rebound will be even better. My wife is in the top 2 hottest Chinese women I ever spoke to, and as I met more of them, their beauty kept getting better as well as personality. I almost dragged a couple through it before I met my wife, and I knew them for years, and now that I know more about them, there is no way they would have been able to handle doing this. They were far inferior to my wife's qualities.
kai1275
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Posts: 1436
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2013 5:19 pm

Postby RedMenace » Mon Aug 12, 2013 6:58 pm

kai1275 wrote:
RedMenace wrote:
kai1275 wrote:
RedMenace wrote:
kai1275 wrote:She sounds silly and immature. For what sounds like a closed minded country gal, her English is certainly better than usual. She does not appear to be a keeper from a quick glance or the kind of wife material you could take outside China. She comes off as perhaps too stubborn to be a good wife for a laowai/western man.

She also comes off as someone trying to hide lots of things too. She basically sounds "sha bi" (SB) and not worth bothering with, but there is possibly lots of context we are missing too.

Hey English is better because I taught her. When I started speaking to her she had to use her friend to translate. I think she acts all emotional during her menstrual cycle. That's what I mean when I said I want have to beat round the bush to get to the information. I assume she is very conserved which is why she isn't direct. Mind you we haven't met in person.


If reading women's minds was that easy, few men would struggle. I don't think we have enough information to know exactly what is being discussed exactly. She obviously is feeling peer pressure from some people, that she needs to stop spending time or talking to you, or other laowai in general. She is conflicted about what to do in life, and sounds like she wishes she was one of those "homer" simpleminded Chinese people, which screams too immature to make her own path.

Sounds like she is conflicted about whether to dump you or not. Sometimes, you cannot get far at all with a Chinese woman until you meet them in person first within a few-handful of months of meeting them. Any longer than that, and it gets subject to long distance relationship fatigue.

Everything was fine the day before. She was happy when i spoke to her. Then the next day out of no where she said she doesn't want to speak to me and her friend. She probably had a conversation with her friend who told her a bunch of good things about me. So maybe she thought I was trying to get with her friend too and got jealous. I think its most likely long distance fatigue because I don't really have the financial means to meet her this year. She said she would come to me during her holiday but am not really hopeful. So right now I am just trying to keep things in order until I can travel to China.


Well, there you go. The long distance fatigue can break even the most decent woman. Before you know it, they are acting like the women you dumped before meeting them! This is one of the reasons why many men refuse to date abroad, because it takes a strong person to make it work. I will be honest, even I felt like giving up a few times when I was away from my wife. It's just very f***ing hard sometimes. Even if I had enough time off to go back more and more, the travel fatigue was enough to irritate me.

Put yourself in her shoes for a bit with what you know about Chinese life. She is fast becoming a sheng nu and family pressure to hurry up and get married and have kids is probably driving her crazy. Combined with long distance relationship fatigue, it puts enormous pressure on her. Remember they decide quickly. If you are not able to take her on, she is going to "think Chinese" and move on without you.

Sad story indeed, but the good news is that if you cannot get her because you are not ready yet, (aren't you 19?), then there are many many more out there than will be when the time is right for you. It does suck to let a nice one go, but don't beat yourself up over it. Take the medicine and learn from it and your rebound will be even better. My wife is in the top 2 hottest Chinese women I ever spoke to, and as I met more of them, their beauty kept getting better as well as personality. I almost dragged a couple through it before I met my wife, and I knew them for years, and now that I know more about them, there is no way they would have been able to handle doing this. They were far inferior to my wife's qualities.

This incident happened in march. I talked her back to normal after a day. I do understand her position. Why I promise her I will try my hardest to meet her within a year. Now she said she will wait for me. She's been very busy with work lately. Few weeks ago I had a 6hrs video chat with her. :lol: Its like an unofficial relationship. She doesn't explicitly state it but we both know what's up. :) Right now I am participating in a website project with her and her friend. I do the programming, she does the design, her friend does the project management stuff. This should buy me enough time and stop her from getting distance relationship sickness.
RedMenace
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Posts: 218
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Location: United Kingdom

Postby kai1275 » Mon Aug 12, 2013 8:05 pm

RedMenace wrote:
kai1275 wrote:
RedMenace wrote:
kai1275 wrote:
RedMenace wrote:
kai1275 wrote:She sounds silly and immature. For what sounds like a closed minded country gal, her English is certainly better than usual. She does not appear to be a keeper from a quick glance or the kind of wife material you could take outside China. She comes off as perhaps too stubborn to be a good wife for a laowai/western man.

She also comes off as someone trying to hide lots of things too. She basically sounds "sha bi" (SB) and not worth bothering with, but there is possibly lots of context we are missing too.

Hey English is better because I taught her. When I started speaking to her she had to use her friend to translate. I think she acts all emotional during her menstrual cycle. That's what I mean when I said I want have to beat round the bush to get to the information. I assume she is very conserved which is why she isn't direct. Mind you we haven't met in person.


If reading women's minds was that easy, few men would struggle. I don't think we have enough information to know exactly what is being discussed exactly. She obviously is feeling peer pressure from some people, that she needs to stop spending time or talking to you, or other laowai in general. She is conflicted about what to do in life, and sounds like she wishes she was one of those "homer" simpleminded Chinese people, which screams too immature to make her own path.

Sounds like she is conflicted about whether to dump you or not. Sometimes, you cannot get far at all with a Chinese woman until you meet them in person first within a few-handful of months of meeting them. Any longer than that, and it gets subject to long distance relationship fatigue.

Everything was fine the day before. She was happy when i spoke to her. Then the next day out of no where she said she doesn't want to speak to me and her friend. She probably had a conversation with her friend who told her a bunch of good things about me. So maybe she thought I was trying to get with her friend too and got jealous. I think its most likely long distance fatigue because I don't really have the financial means to meet her this year. She said she would come to me during her holiday but am not really hopeful. So right now I am just trying to keep things in order until I can travel to China.


Well, there you go. The long distance fatigue can break even the most decent woman. Before you know it, they are acting like the women you dumped before meeting them! This is one of the reasons why many men refuse to date abroad, because it takes a strong person to make it work. I will be honest, even I felt like giving up a few times when I was away from my wife. It's just very f***ing hard sometimes. Even if I had enough time off to go back more and more, the travel fatigue was enough to irritate me.

Put yourself in her shoes for a bit with what you know about Chinese life. She is fast becoming a sheng nu and family pressure to hurry up and get married and have kids is probably driving her crazy. Combined with long distance relationship fatigue, it puts enormous pressure on her. Remember they decide quickly. If you are not able to take her on, she is going to "think Chinese" and move on without you.

Sad story indeed, but the good news is that if you cannot get her because you are not ready yet, (aren't you 19?), then there are many many more out there than will be when the time is right for you. It does suck to let a nice one go, but don't beat yourself up over it. Take the medicine and learn from it and your rebound will be even better. My wife is in the top 2 hottest Chinese women I ever spoke to, and as I met more of them, their beauty kept getting better as well as personality. I almost dragged a couple through it before I met my wife, and I knew them for years, and now that I know more about them, there is no way they would have been able to handle doing this. They were far inferior to my wife's qualities.

This incident happened in march. I talked her back to normal after a day. I do understand her position. Why I promise her I will try my hardest to meet her within a year. Now she said she will wait for me. She's been very busy with work lately. Few weeks ago I had a 6hrs video chat with her. :lol: Its like an unofficial relationship. She doesn't explicitly state it but we both know what's up. :) Right now I am participating in a website project with her and her friend. I do the programming, she does the design, her friend does the project management stuff. This should buy me enough time and stop her from getting distance relationship sickness.


Are you capable of scraping 2-3KUSD-ish together? You could make a short trip for a week, and fly to Shanghai. Plant your flag and then go back home, and see what happens after that. Don't try to stockpile 10K+ and months worth of VISA permissions just to go see where her head is at. The hardest trip out is always the first one out. After that, you know more shortcuts and you always do it cheaper the next time.
kai1275
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Posts: 1436
Joined: Mon Apr 29, 2013 5:19 pm


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