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Why do friendships mean NOTHING in the US?

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Why do friendships mean NOTHING in the US?

Postby lovelybunny » August 15th, 2013, 5:25 pm

They won't last, they're hard to keep, and true friends are NOT even there for you in the US. I've discovered that 'friends' are NOT truly 'friends.' Why do friendships mean nothing in this country? I almost forgot: even for simple little misunderstandings they end, even if they profess to be 'your friend forever.' The opposite is true of friendships in most other nations. Why is that?
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Postby Jeremy » August 15th, 2013, 5:48 pm

Everyone's too busy working themselves to the bone. Always on the clock. I don't think I've had a real friendship since I was 11.
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Postby lovelybunny » August 15th, 2013, 5:55 pm

Jeremy wrote:Everyone's too busy working themselves to the bone. Always on the clock. I don't think I've had a real friendship since I was 11.


But even of the small amount of time you do have for friends, they're NOT genuine friends and they break up with you fast. Why?
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Postby celery2010 » August 15th, 2013, 8:45 pm

Yup, this is a real problem for guys over 30. Women still always seem to have close friends that they can gossip with and talk to about everything, but for dudes, it's hard to have a friendship where you actually talk all the time. Most other guys are busy. For lots of men over 30 in America, their best friend is their wife, or whoever they date. They might have at best, a few work-related colleagues and guys over for game night or poker night.

Compare this with Latin America or the Middle East (well the Middle East is explained culturally-since they have no access to women), but in Latin America, close friendships amongst men are active. Some Germans i've met will do anything for you and remember who you are. The only place I've tended to see that in America is New York City-- where once a friend- always a friend holds.
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Postby aozora13 » August 15th, 2013, 9:07 pm

celery2010 wrote:Yup, this is a real problem for guys over 30. Women still always seem to have close friends that they can gossip with and talk to about everything, but for dudes, it's hard to have a friendship where you actually talk all the time. Most other guys are busy. For lots of men over 30 in America, their best friend is their wife, or whoever they date. They might have at best, a few work-related colleagues and guys over for game night or poker night.

Compare this with Latin America or the Middle East (well the Middle East is explained culturally-since they have no access to women), but in Latin America, close friendships amongst men are active. Some Germans i've met will do anything for you and remember who you are. The only place I've tended to see that in America is New York City-- where once a friend- always a friend holds.


+1

I was thinking the same thing about friendships (having male friends) are much deeper than in the US. I do have friends over 30 and I am about 30 myself who are single. However, that is a rarity as most guys I know about 30 or early 30s have a girlfriend, wife or about to get married. I know that in Latin cultures, friends are close and the wife though very protective of her man is still more realistic about that bond than lets in the US when once you get married, access to your friends are basically nil which I have seen constantly with family friends and my own friends.
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Postby Maverick » August 16th, 2013, 3:44 am

celery2010 wrote:Yup, this is a real problem for guys over 30. Women still always seem to have close friends that they can gossip with and talk to about everything, but for dudes, it's hard to have a friendship where you actually talk all the time. Most other guys are busy. For lots of men over 30 in America, their best friend is their wife, or whoever they date. They might have at best, a few work-related colleagues and guys over for game night or poker night.

Compare this with Latin America or the Middle East (well the Middle East is explained culturally-since they have no access to women), but in Latin America, close friendships amongst men are active. Some Germans i've met will do anything for you and remember who you are. The only place I've tended to see that in America is New York City-- where once a friend- always a friend holds.


Ehhh I lived in the New York City area for the first 25 years of my life. I wouldn't say that it is much different from California (where I am now) as far as friends go.
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Postby jamesbond » August 16th, 2013, 11:40 am

celery2010 wrote:Some Germans i've met will do anything for you and remember who you are.


Did you visit Germany or do you have friends in the US who are german? I plan on venturing to Berlin in the near future and see whether or not I like it. If I like it enough, I might move there.
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Postby anamericaninbangkok » August 16th, 2013, 11:58 am

I call bullshit - AGAIN. Please don't tell me it's because of my age, either.

I've got five or six friends from my Air Force days that I've been friends with for 34 years. I've got a couple others that I've been friends with ranging from 20-30 years. Also, I have friends in Holland, Canada, and the UK I've been friends with for nearly 30 years. Most of these people I still speak with regularly, at least once a month. Some have come to Thailand and some I've visited. So I'm not sure Friendships Mean Nothing in the US is anywhere near true. Maybe for you, but that might have something to do with you or the friends you choose versus anything else.
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Re: Why do friendships mean NOTHING in the US?

Postby Hero » August 16th, 2013, 12:08 pm

lovelybunny wrote:They won't last, they're hard to keep, and true friends are NOT even there for you in the US. I've discovered that 'friends' are NOT truly 'friends.' Why do friendships mean nothing in this country?


+100. I can't even count the number of friends I've had who've just abandoned me in hard times. For example, when my father died 7 years ago, almost nobody sent me a card or condolences of any kind. Some of these people were actually fellow members of a church group that I belonged to. I guess they were too busy saying the rosary to tell me that they were sorry for my loss.

Then there are other people who had been my friends for years, but later on they won't even let me onto their Facebook friends list!! WTF is that all about?
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Postby Bane » August 16th, 2013, 1:32 pm

celery2010 wrote: The only place I've tended to see that in America is New York City-- where once a friend- always a friend holds.


I almost blew my milk out through my nose when I read this.

The complete opposite is true. In NYC, most people are only out for themselves, and while they may keep you as a "friend" for momentary convenience, as soon as they can they will step all over you once they see you as an obstacle to their success . Now, keep in mind, I'm talking mostly about Manhattan here. The other boroughs are better in this way. The place I used to live in (Sunset Park, Brooklyn) I actually found to be one of the more genuine neighborhoods in the whole city.



BTW Jamesbond, I love your new avatar pic!
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Postby jamesbond » August 16th, 2013, 2:05 pm

Bane wrote:BTW Jamesbond, I love your new avatar pic!


Thank you! It's Winston's face superimposed over another persons body that I found on the internet.

I thought it would give Winston a hip, cool look! :lol:
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