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I came to university 2 days ago and went on my first "bar crawl" yesterday. This experience made me appreciate my not so social life. I have to leave in 20 min for my induction but I will continue when I am done. When people say social life, the first thing that came to my head is people chilling and having a nice quite conversation to learn about each other. Boy was I in for a shock. I have to say if what I experienced is what people mean by "social life" then f*ck it I don't want it. It's simply not in my nature.
The night started out with a drinking game. My house mates had already drunk a lot of alcohol by the time we left the house. We then went to some pubs and within the sweat filled cesspit that is a bar, I was enlightened. By now I am master of my own decisions. I was offered drinks but I refused. I have become very good at resisting peer pressure.
The need to fit in will change the weak very quickly and easily. Choosing to resist or shunning it comes with a sacrifice. That sacrifice is lack of "social life". Those who are weak do quite well. They buy drinks, get drunk and chat to girls in the same state or worse. Some even smoke when they are in such a state. Alcohol seems to be a tool used by the socially weak to garner the courage required to have a meaningful conversation with a stranger. I don't need such a tool because I will have a meaningful conversation with a stranger if they are open minded to participate. In the atmosphere of a bar with all the loud music, shouting and sweat, it's strange to me how you can meet decent people.
Oh well my time is up. I will continue when I get back.
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Good for you for resisting peer pressure. You college experience sounds a lot like mine. My college was a 'party school' and trust me, if I knew this before I enrolled there I wouldn't have gone there.
A survey was done at my college asking students if they drank alcohol or not. 96% of the students drank and only 4% didn't drink. Guess who was in the 4% that didn't drink? That's right, me and my roommate. Did we feel like outcasts and loners? Yes we did but we didn't care, we went out on the weekends and played pool and basketball.
For some reason, guys need to get drunk just to be able to talk to girls. This is really sad and pathetic and shows just how screwed up this society is. I hate bars and clubs, with all the loud music, it's dark and crowded and the guys act like jerks and the girls are stuck up. Just how are you supposed to meet someone in that kind of environment?
It takes a strong person to resist 'peer pressure' and good for you for doing so. Studies show alcohol is harmful to your body and most college students binge drink on a regular basis!
Just try and find some like minded people to hang out with and forget bars and clubs and getting drunk, that's only for weak minded people!
"When I think about the idea of getting involved with an American woman, I don't know if I should laugh .............. or vomit!"
"Trying to meet women in America is like trying to decipher Egyptian hieroglyphics."
I have noticed the behaviour of people when not drunk is very antisocial. They are all on their phones. Lol I thought socialising was all about having a conversation with people. Yet most are too shy to do so while sober. Oh yea. One of my house mates is what I would consider a b*tch. I sensed she hated me from the first contact. She takes offence to everything I say. You know what they say. If someone dislikes you it matters not what you say. They will still take offence to it. The other 3 house mates are cool though. That's all that matters. I will talk more of this self conscience b*tch when I get home to my computer. She is considered hot by many weak man in as but I see she is weak and unstable. There is a saying. Beat the bush to startle the snakes. She threw a fit because I said some people have to drink to have fun. She thinks that's negative. When she got drunk last night her true personality came out. All the other house mates apologised to me in her behalf. This morning when she is sober, she "apologised" and said they have drink because its fun, not because its how they have fun. Both statements are the damn same. Once again, people will take offence to everything you say when they dislike you. I never forgive or forget so f*ck her apology. I am the kind of person who will live with the enemy because I have a master plan so everything in between means not much to me. Time to seek out like minded people. The best place I see fit to do this is through societies.
Not only is alcohol a tool for the socially weak, but it is a crutch too. You'll become so reliant on using alcohol to talk to girls that you'll forget the need to actually up your conversation skills and improve your self-esteem. If anything you will start to think that you will just need to drink some more and meet up with even drunker people if things go wrong. Eventually your mindset becomes skewed over to a belief that venues with alcoholic drinks are the -only- decent place to meet women when in fact the women who tend to flock there are anything but decent.
This is too common. I have had better conversation with stoners than alcoholics. In all honesty, if you are breaking the law (underage drinking), why not just smoke pot? At least it makes you more chill. Some things i will never know.
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Red. I'm going to give you better advice than this.
Keep hanging out with the fellas. Learn how to develop soft skills. This is good for networking after school. This is for money. None of these guys are your family but you won't know WHO you will need once you leave college. My biggest regret for my college days was not meeting more people and making more business contacts in different trade groups across the university.
Don't waste these opportunities. Not everything you do is for p***y. Think with your other brain. It's fine and all that you have "morals" and "ideology", but this is the real f***ing world at work. Prepare yourself to be a valuable business man. f**k all this emotional bullshit and be realistic. One of these guys might have a dad that would pay you 20,000 for a website. You will never know this sitting in your dorm room, playing with trigger jacking off on the internet all day and talking to Chinese girls at night. You need breaks from those girls sometimes, just to see if they still want you anyway. Outings like this are good times for balance plays like this.
Think Strategic! Be Strategic!
I totally agree - don't waste time with people who hate you - they will always. Its a shame she lives with you - I hope she moves out. Many women ruin flats and do move in a "bitter parting." Well, people are much unfriendlier now than in the 1980s when no-one had a cell phone.
"Woman is a violent and uncontrolled animal... If you allow them to achieve complete equality with men, do you think they will be easier to live with? Not at all. Once they have achieved equality, they will be your masters." Cato the Elder
I do try to get involved in "social" activities like card games and such. The 1 b*tch that hates me proved me right when I said some people drink to have fun by going to her room at about 8-9pm. The rest of us watched a movie in the other girl's room. This b*tch probably hates me because I see her for who she is. A b*tch. The first damn thing she said when we all were in the kitchen is "Don't use my stuff" when everyone else says they don't mind if you use their stuff as long as you clean it.
The night we went out some guy cornered her and she gave him her number. Later on the way home she said she is not going to text him and that she gave him her number because he cornered her against a wall. I could feel in her tone she was mad when I asked how that makes sense. Lo and behold this guy or some other guy is supposed to be coming over to f*ck her or some sh*t. We aren't allowed to bring someone else at the house without submitting a form. I could really f*ck her over for being a b*tch if I wanted to by reporting her to the accommodation officer when this dude comes and goes.
She always makes sly remarks when I am speaking to the other 3 house mates I have no problem with. I am very good at sensing hate in people. For some reason black people can feel it. You don't have to say a word. This b*tch is pure trouble. I know she is hiding the inner b*tch beast. Alcohol slightly released it the other night. I smile when I look at her and imagine what she would look like in say 5-10 years.
The other female house mate's dad is an accountant. I am cool with her so that's all that matters. The b*tch I talk about came from some broken family so she is no good to me strategically speaking. I also speak to the Shanghainese female on wechat using wifi in university locations. My faculty campus is a new high tech building so I can use wifi there when I am not at home. She is responsive and said she had a bad temper yesterday because her skype is always offline. She is the only woman I have been able to have meaningful and deep conversations with. I would choose a 5 mature woman over a 10 slutty uni female any time of the day. My goal now is to get a job. Have no idea where to start but I have to be quick. I just want to start my course. I realised young girls are just too antisocial and superficial to have meaningful conversations with when they are sober. I have so much to do including finding a job quick, saving up at least Â£800 to take 2 week trip to Shanghai and saving some money to find somewhere to stay during the summer holiday long long time away. As for making friends I will do this in the many societies. Yesterday I registered for the gym since we get free gym membership with accommodation. Breakfast time now lol. Oh before I forget I was impressed with how many other black comrades were doing electrical and electronic engineering or electrical engineering. Good they are going something useful instead of trying to be performers.
BLeh! I said fellas! Not hoes! Making friends with most females is a waste of time. You are basically auditioning for being their gay hangout friend or "friendzone" partner. Like Steve Harvey says, there is no such thing as making legit friends with females. Find some decent lads that you can start forming some inner circles with.
If you really want to f**k any of those lame broads running around, pretend you do not want them. Women cannot stand it when a man does not want them. Either that or shag an older woman and be done with it.
YES...you beat me to it. Great advice right here. Being sober around many of your peers that are not sober can give you many advantages. You'd have everything together while others will not. They will tell you things that they wouldn't tell you otherwise. You can gain much valuable insight and information from this type of networking. Because you are sober, you will remember it all...they won't. I always wanted to have the ability to read minds, but this is the next best thing....lol
Barely drank when I was an undergraduate in the UK. But as a postgraduate I worked by day, partied all night... not sure when I ever got any sleep.
Always good to be sober sometimes though, and just observe stuff.
Kind of nice that I did enough work at Uni to get a good career going, so I've partied through my 20's, 30's and now 40's. Always plan on getting a good career, then you can have a really decent life.
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