Working with women

[OTB]

I'll start off saying I enjoy working with all my co-workers. I work with all women except for one guy who is gay. I've been in my department for almost 3 and a half years. We've had nothing but good times while working together. I'm always making my co-workers laugh and there is one who I talk to more than anyone in my department. She's 47 and a mom of three and she considers herself my mom at work.

Now, I'm going to get right to what I want to discuss. It may be a little long, but just hold on.

Here are some comments my "mom at work" has stated just playing around that I took offense to.

1. I need to be a woman

Why did she say this? Well, one day she needed me to do something for her while I was on a call. I told her to hold on and I would do it after I got off the phone. So she yells out to another co-worker of mine in the other aisle, "Kenny needs to be a woman so he can multitask." She has made other comments about multitasking in the past which I quickly refuted. She prides herself on this illogical theory. So, what was my response? I told her again, "Multitasking makes no sense. It's not efficient and you're more prone to making mistakes." I had to two other co-workers who agreed. That comment was unnecessary

2. That's your cue to date men

This really irritated me because it was SO unnecessary. What made her say this? One day I made a call and the woman I spoke to had an attitude. So when I hung up I said to her why is it whenever I call somewhere and I get an attitude it's always women. So her response was, "Maybe that's your cue to date men." WHAT? It was around her time to leave so I tucked it away and told her how I felt about the comment the next day in an email. She apologized and said she didn't mean anything by it. She then said are we cool. I said yeah we're cool. Our work relationship continued in the same way it always was. I didn't treat her any differently.

Now, other comments made by other co-workers concerning my dating life:

I'm picky (Made by my co-worker who is 50)

I'm looking for someone perfect (This was also stated to my manager while she was walking by, by my worker who is 33) UNNECESSARY!

I'm 31 and I should be married with kids (Made by my co-worker who is 44)

In thirty years from now she's not going to look the same (Made by "mom at work")

I should lower my standards (About three weeks ago by the one who is 33)

All this came from just making a comment about a girl or me discussing something with another co-worker and someone overheard the discussion, and then they become uberly curious to know what my type of girl is.

Starting to see a pattern guys?

Women can say what they want and be nosy about your life and see nothing wrong with it.

One thing I can say from working with them is that I never get personal. Even though I throw out a lot of banter I keep it clean and stay cognizant of what I say. Remember...I work with women

Let's continue.

Last month an incident occurred during our lunch. There was a girl walking by outside who flirts with me through email from time to time. I point her out to "my mom at work". She gets a kick out the emails she sends. So she said, "Is that her?" I said, "Yeah that's her." This girl is clearly not my type. She even said that.

However, HERE WE GO FELLAS, my co-worker who's 50 was standing by the window and said, "Well what about her?" I said she's not my type. She kept prying. She couldn't just leave it alone. "Well, why?" SHE'S NOT MY TYPE. She didn't drop it. She says, "Well what if she has a good heart. What if she's really smart?" That's fine and well but she's not my type. Why should I settle for that? Her body looks like she just doesn't care about physical exercise." Her response, "Well, maybe it's due to a MEDICAL REASON." "Maybe you're just being PICKY." Then my "mom at work" says, Thirty years from now that beauty is not going to be there." So basically, I should just settle.

Then my co-worker who is 44 comes out and says, "You're picky and YOU'RE HIGH MAINTENANCE." I didn't like that comment. The way I interpreted it was like I'm narcissistic and act like a high maintenance woman. So I called her out on it. We settled it. She clarified what she meant and I apologized to her for the things I said.

To end this, things became very quiet around the office after that. "My mom at work", the one who I talk to the most, became very quiet and aloof. I thought I had said something to offend her but she said no, she just wanted to keep the peace. She snitched on me to the one who is 44 and told her I called her something I didn't say. I brought this to her attention yesterday because it continued to bother me once I found out that she told her that I called her a derogatory name. She denied it and I said, "Ok, but that's the word. You're the one who told her."

The one who is 33 backed me up and said we've all said it behind her back. My mom at work was unaware of this which I tried telling her." There was another co-worker who is 32 and she told her I didn't say what she thought I said. Mom at work apologized for the misinterpretation.

That's it's fellas. I think that's long enough. You see the theme here.

Women can be troublemakers, nosy, and backstabbing.

Life lesson learned: DON'T GET SUCKED INTO THEIR NOSINESS AND ASININE COMMENTS!

[jamesbond]

If I ever have had any problems at work, it was with women. Most jobs I have had no problems with anybody. However at a few jobs I did have problems and it was always with women!

Your right, women are noisy and like to gossip. I have noticed that at my jobs the men worked very hard and didn't gossip but the women did talk behind peoples back and complained a lot.

I would love to get into a field that was all men, that is what I am looking to do now. I absolutely hate working with American women!

[Ghost]

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[ScarletRedLips]

That's a very good observation, and I have to agree with you. However, I am a female and I don't feel like I am this way at all, so I do believe there are a few girls that aren't this way. (I've never met another one though, but I'm nt very social so I don't think I am the only one out there.) How do we spot them? Well, this is just my hypothesis, but I think girls that are very social with other girls tend to be this way. I have never gotten along with other girls. I can't stand the things they talk about, and their friendship often seems fake because girls like to compete for the 'power' over the boys attention.

I think your coworker is thinking of her own insecurities when she says you are too picky. As for the homosexual jokes, I think she is just being imprudent, not intentionally offensive.

[Renata]

OTB women like gossiping it's a worldwide epidemic unfortunately ... that's nothing compared to my workplace though. When I get to work the women remove their hijab/head scarfs & replace it with a mini nun's cap that covers their head & neck then they brush their wigs out & put them on. Then 5 times a day they have to pray on the floor with a mat, that's fine but they tend to go into the bathroom & wash their hands & FEET in the sinks before prayer. Every time I need to use the ladies room I feel like I'm disturbing them, especially when I see them washing their foot in the sink. They seem uncomfortable too because I'm around.
You guys may like working in some places here. Women & men's offices tend to be seperated sometimes. There's no men on my entire floor. They have their own floor in the building.

[jtest28]

Dude, I knew a woman who was a bank MANAGER and ended up quiting her job to GET AWAY FROM THE OTHER WOMEN she had to work with.

[OTB]

@ScarletRedLips

As for the homosexual jokes, I think she is just being imprudent, not intentionally offensive.

Yes, never did I ever think she was trying to intentionally offend me or start unnecessary trouble. I just thought they were unnecessary comments.

You know what the outcome would've been if I told her she needed be a man...she would've been PISSED. When we talked about the comment about dating men I said to her, "How would you feel if I said that's your cue to date women?" Her response was, "I wouldn't get upset. Sometimes I think maybe I should try it." She doesn't know what she's saying.

[Jester]

OTB women like gossiping it's a worldwide epidemic unfortunately ... that's nothing compared to my workplace though. When I get to work the women remove their hijab/head scarfs & replace it with a mini nun's cap that covers their head & neck then they brush their wigs out & put them on. Then 5 times a day they have to pray on the floor with a mat, that's fine but they tend to go into the bathroom & wash their hands & FEET in the sinks before prayer. Every time I need to use the ladies room I feel like I'm disturbing them, especially when I see them washing their foot in the sink. They seem uncomfortable too because I'm around.
You guys may like working in some places here. Women & men's offices tend to be seperated sometimes. There's no men on my entire floor. They have their own floor in the building.

This is in a coastal city in TURKEY?

I had no idea things were so "Islamic" in a business environment.

The 5 times a day though is great brainwashing technique. A well-crafted cult.

[Renata]

OTB women like gossiping it's a worldwide epidemic unfortunately ... that's nothing compared to my workplace though. When I get to work the women remove their hijab/head scarfs & replace it with a mini nun's cap that covers their head & neck then they brush their wigs out & put them on. Then 5 times a day they have to pray on the floor with a mat, that's fine but they tend to go into the bathroom & wash their hands & FEET in the sinks before prayer. Every time I need to use the ladies room I feel like I'm disturbing them, especially when I see them washing their foot in the sink. They seem uncomfortable too because I'm around.
You guys may like working in some places here. Women & men's offices tend to be seperated sometimes. There's no men on my entire floor. They have their own floor in the building.

This is in a coastal city in TURKEY?

I had no idea things were so "Islamic" in a business environment.

The 5 times a day though is great brainwashing technique. A well-crafted cult.

Most of Turkey is secular. This came as a shock to me after I started working here at this particular place. I had no idea it was such a religious school. The men aren't praying they just work like I do. It's the women that are doing this stuff. You should see the look on thier faces when I walk into the ladies room & all of them washing their foot in the sink lol. I need to work out the times so I don't disturb them. I'm in Ankara now; the capital city.

[onethousandknives]

I worked mostly with women at my last job. My boss oddly was an older very highly educated black woman, very smart, and we thought similarly. She was cool to talk to, and didn't participate too much in the rumor/gossip thing.

Anyway, working with women, I do think they (speaking in generalities, as I said my boss was awesome) spend a disproportionate amount of time gossipping about coworkers/other people or just making personal calls/etc that really hurt productivity. In this regard I'd probably be apprehensive about hiring lots of women, like, more women than men, as it'd hurt productivity as they'd all form their little gossip huddle things.

Your mistake? Well, you talked to these women. (actually wait, you admitted your mistake at the end of your post, oops...) They're vicious as hell. They gossip like hell. I mean now you've talked to them and they'll expect you to maintain it, but yeah, on the job, don't get vastly involved in the workplace drama with women. I mean be courteous, have some conversations occasionally, etc, but for the most part keep to yourself in a woman dominated workplace. As unfun as some of the "bro-down" type guy places are to work at with the dirty joke talk and stuff like that, I'd say the female backstabbiness and gossip is exponentially worse.

[OTB]

@onethousandknives

Don't get vastly involved in the workplace drama with women.

I don't! There really isn't any drama in my department. It's pretty quiet except for my gay co-worker who is constantly talking on his cell phone in Spanglish. I pointed out in the beginning of my that I enjoy working with all my co-workers because there really is no drama. We work and go home. But from time to time comments are made about me being single and how I have to hurry up because I'm 31. It's a mystery to them. Why is this guy single? Maybe you're being too picky, maybe you should lower standards, you're looking for someone perfect, etc.

Even when they made those comments I didn't get upset. I tried to refute their comments in a calm and assertive manner. The one comment that pissed me off was the HIGH MAINTENANCE comment.

[deasil875]

My last job was over-run by bull-dyke managers. (And their mangina underlings.) They were bitchy, arrogant, incompetent, and just all around horrible scum.

A girl stabbed me in the back at one point and that spiraled into my leaving out frustration and knowing it was dead-end futility to stay there. In a rational society, women would not be in corporate workplaces.

Two major instances of "workplace" drama, one of them exactly like Ghosts. Did a brief stint at Sightly, a subsidiary of Google. And when I say brief, I mean one week. Our Trainer/Supervisor was this bombastic, wanna-be masculine butch lesbo. She would start maddogging and have nasty looks on her face when you didn't do something right and shoot snarky, nasty comments during orientation "ok you guys are boring, take a break." Everyone except me by end of week was kissing her ass showing compliance. During lunch break, I overheard her talking to the VP saying that everyone was adjusting except for me, and that I was going to be "a problem child that I'll make sure gets washed out" At the end of the workday on Friday I handed in my resignation to HR. I went right up to her after and said "I won't say it was a pleasure, because it wasn't. I heard you talking to the VP and you showed your true colors. I do not trust you, and refuse to work for an abusive, dyke bitch like yourself. I've handed in my resignation. Goodbye."

Second was a freelance orchestra gig I recently played. The contractor for the gig was a female. She micromanaged the gig to death swamping us all with emails before the rehearsal week began, asking for confirmation from everyone that the music pdfs had been received by all to "practice" before. Her emails went into my spam, and she ended up sending me nagging, snarky texts asking if I had gotten them and that she "was not going to ask anymore" As a pro, this shit is unnecessary, as most strong players can go into a rehearsal, sight read and have the music performance ready after 1-2 rehearsals. She was all nicey nicey to me at the first rehearsal saying not to worry about the emails and that I was playing very well. After the concert, she went apeshit on me, cussing me out with Shits, WTFs and every other expletive possible asking where my music parts were. After I gave her my music, she immediately walks off, and starts blowing off steam to the concertmaster "see what I have to deal with!" and immediately starts telling her about my email incident and what a flake I was, when OTHER PLAYERS were within earshot. EVERY music colleague of mine I have told about this incident agrees that she was very unprofessional. Also got wind of complaints from other brass section players how rude and snippy she was when asked simple questions about logistics and housekeeping (checks, parking reimbursement, etc)

Bottom line: women have no business being in management positions. They get way too emotional, bitch out and can't handle the pressure.

[Jester]

Your mistake? Well, you talked to these women. (actually wait, you admitted your mistake at the end of your post, oops...) They're vicious as hell. They gossip like hell. I mean now you've talked to them and they'll expect you to maintain it, but yeah, on the job, don't get vastly involved in the workplace drama with women. I mean be courteous, have some conversations occasionally, etc, but for the most part keep to yourself in a woman dominated workplace. As unfun as some of the "bro-down" type guy places are to work at with the dirty joke talk and stuff like that, I'd say the female backstabbiness and gossip is exponentially worse.

+1

Perfect advice.

[Jester]

Bottom line: women have no business being in management positions. They get way too emotional, bitch out and can't handle the pressure.

Truth.

[Seduction Sebi]

Hey guys,

I worked for one year in company in Germany. My team consisted nearly entirely of women. But I never had any problems. I mean, they were all ugly so I never had the desire to have sex with any of them.

Surprisingly, I always made my jokes about feminism and emancipation and the more I made them, the nicer they treated me. Fascinating