Happier Abroad Forum Community

Fake smiles, laugh at everything I say, play with hair, they touch me a lot. Why do women go out of their way to do this?

Because they want you to validate their existence and femininity by complimenting and/or admiring them (ie, giving them attention / showing they have an impact on you). They hope to achieve this by performing certain rituals they were socialized to perform and they call it 'flirting'...they think it makes them more desirable

After all, female worth is measured by male attention. Your attention is worth more if you are a good-looking male, since it is expected that non-good-looking males will salivate at the very sight of a female.

Which is a ridiculous notion, in my opinion. But that's why they do it

Look down at her feet. If she is actually paying attention to you, her toes will likely be pointed toward you. If she acts like she is interested but her feet is pointed elsewhere, she's likely not interested in you.

Please note, body language differs from culture to culture and is not 100% accurate. What is acceptable or desirable in one culture may be offensive (i.e. prolonged direct eye contact) in another.

momopi wrote:Look down at her feet. If she is actually paying attention to you, her toes will likely be pointed toward you. If she acts like she is interested but her feet is pointed elsewhere, she's likely not interested in you.

Please note, body language differs from culture to culture and is not 100% accurate. What is acceptable or desirable in one culture may be offensive (i.e. prolonged direct eye contact) in another.

really?

Mr.Darcy wrote:

momopi wrote:Look down at her feet. If she is actually paying attention to you, her toes will likely be pointed toward you. If she acts like she is interested but her feet is pointed elsewhere, she's likely not interested in you.

Please note, body language differs from culture to culture and is not 100% accurate. What is acceptable or desirable in one culture may be offensive (i.e. prolonged direct eye contact) in another.

really?

Yes. Body language has been proven by extensive social psychology research and findings. Verbal is only 10% of communication, the rest is non-verbal. Best way to gauge incongruency (laymen for how full of shit they are) is if their BL matches verbal.

deasil875 wrote:

Mr.Darcy wrote:

momopi wrote:Look down at her feet. If she is actually paying attention to you, her toes will likely be pointed toward you. If she acts like she is interested but her feet is pointed elsewhere, she's likely not interested in you.

Please note, body language differs from culture to culture and is not 100% accurate. What is acceptable or desirable in one culture may be offensive (i.e. prolonged direct eye contact) in another.

really?

Yes. Body language has been proven by extensive social psychology research and findings. Verbal is only 10% of communication, the rest is non-verbal. Best way to gauge incongruency (laymen for how full of shit they are) is if their BL matches verbal.

Ya you are right we can know by body language about other person. And thanks for this info, would like to know some more.

I've never had a girl act that way around me. They all have a sourpuss face, won't look at me, and give one word answers while sounding annoyed (probably so I don't get the wrong idea). The few times a girl has smiled at or been nice to me, I've been completely taken aback. But even in those rare cases, there was never a flirty vibe.

Mr.Darcy wrote:Fake smiles, laugh at everything I say, play with hair, they touch me a lot. Why do women go out of their way to do this?

OK, This whole anti-american girl thing has crossed the line for what is reasonable. They just can't win can they?

If they pay attention to you and are nice to you it means they're fake. If they ignore you and are mean to you it means they are cold.

I have no sympathy here for the OP. American girls never touch me, and they usually do not get my humor. Honestly if they treated me as you say they treat you (I have trouble believing that you commonly receive such behavior from American women) I probably would have never developed the desire to live abroad.

JaiGrimstone wrote:

deasil875 wrote:

Mr.Darcy wrote:

momopi wrote:Look down at her feet. If she is actually paying attention to you, her toes will likely be pointed toward you. If she acts like she is interested but her feet is pointed elsewhere, she's likely not interested in you.

Please note, body language differs from culture to culture and is not 100% accurate. What is acceptable or desirable in one culture may be offensive (i.e. prolonged direct eye contact) in another.

really?

Yes. Body language has been proven by extensive social psychology research and findings. Verbal is only 10% of communication, the rest is non-verbal. Best way to gauge incongruency (laymen for how full of shit they are) is if their BL matches verbal.

Ya you are right we can know by body language about other person. And thanks for this info, would like to know some more.

The problem with body language is that common body language indicators have all been "learned" by the average layman. So that if you're slightly sociopathic like myself, then you can definitely "trick" people into accepting whatever "vibe" you want to give them.

Jeremy wrote:I've never had a girl act that way around me. They all have a sourpuss face, won't look at me, and give one word answers while sounding annoyed (probably so I don't get the wrong idea). The few times a girl has smiled at or been nice to me, I've been completely taken aback. But even in those rare cases, there was never a flirty vibe.

Yes, this guy gets it. OP, are you sure you're talking about American girls?

She finds you attractive, it isn't rocket science. PUA types call these things indicators of interest, or IOIs.

HouseMD wrote:She finds you attractive, it isn't rocket science. PUA types call these things indicators of interest, or IOIs.

no, they tease and play hard to get

Mr.Darcy wrote:

HouseMD wrote:She finds you attractive, it isn't rocket science. PUA types call these things indicators of interest, or IOIs.

no, they tease and play hard to get

Girls don't tease men they find gross or abrasive. You never see girls flirting with obese and unkempt men, nor do they flirt with unattractive older men. Basically, Western women view unattractive men as nothing but potential predators, and disgusting ones at that. They gain no validation from tempting such men, as their affections are assumed. To tempt them would do nothing but invite rape in their minds, a completely undesirable scenario, as they have already deemed such men unfit for mating.

If they are flirting with you, something about you must be desirable for them. You might not see what they could see in you, but it is there.

I have been told im good looking, but im black so that contradicts

Mr.Darcy wrote:I have been told im good looking, but im black so that contradicts