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(Black Chick Rant ALERT) I never understood the fascination with bad/aggressive guys. I have always chosen the nice or nerdy guys. Maybe because I am a nerd myself. Technology for the win hahaha!! Yeah..that was lame ok but anyway, I hate how some women regardless of race say things like oh bad guys are better because he is more likely to be adventurous. It's like uh yeah, but he is also likely to cheat on you, not take you seriously, be considerate of your basic needs, and NOT marry you. I hate how when I'm out a guy who finds me attractive will be so aggressive, it's like you look really scary right now like you really don't understand. You look REALLY scary and intimidating. Anyway, the rant is now over I know many of you are happy now, haha.
But I just had to say this because I see some guys these days saying how they are trying to stop being nice and shy and they are paying dumb pick up artists(*cough JT Tran cough*) to change, which I don't understand because it's like those traits are REALLY attractive.
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I am generally not an asshole unless someone provokes me into being one. I consider myself to be a good person who makes a conscious effort to treat others how I would want to be treated. Having said that, I shake my head at women who automatically equate "niceness" with being "unadventurous" or "uninteresting". Or a complete pushover who allows everybody to walk all over him at all times. Who says that only assholes and sociopaths are capable of being adventurous? I'm sure I've done more interesting and thrilling things in life than your average lowlife who beats his girl every night.
Unfortunately, you are in the minority because most of your peers gravitate towards complete losers (and if they do end up with a good man, it's completely in spite of the man's character). I've seen this countless times with my own eyes. There might be a small percentage of American women who genuinely appreciate good men, but they are few and far between. I would rather seek out entire civilizations full of such women. This has the added benefit of ensuring that my future children get to grow up in a healther social environment, in which a man's respectability is actually rewarded and incentivized.
"To learn who rules over you, simply find out who you are not allowed to criticize."
PUA isn't necessarily a bad thing. I did it for a while and I know other guys that completely changed their personality and did much better with women.
To each their own.
I've decided that I'd like to be myself with women. Obviously, that will not work in the US and I will play the game to the best of my ability while I'm here. But it is by no means a long term solution, imo.
So just choose nice guys if you live in America. (I'm assuming. Please correct me if I'm wrong.) America is overflowing with nice, non-aggressive guys, nerds, dorks, betas, and other similar types. You should have no problem. And if this is what you like, I don't think going abroad will "help" you. Guys abroad are much more likely to be aggressive, not care about your feelings, and probably won't be nerds.
Grandlovie, thank you for this post and welcome to the forum.
Nice guys should win. Women today in this decadent culture we live in have the definition of nice completely backwards because their way of thinking is corrupted. Nice doesn't mean being a pushover, a doormat, desperate, or cunningly trying to lure you to bed. If a man comes off reserved, doesn't use profanity, and talks to them like human beings without the bravado he's perceived to be "nice". Why can't that be seen as normal behavior?
It's emasculating to be labeled as such just because you conduct yourself in a mature, masculine way and treat women the way they "say" they want to be treated.
Labeling a man a "nice guy" is a euphemism for saying he's not masculine enough. Hmmm...I probably could manipulate him and do whatever I want and he probably wouldn't say or do anything. I'll pass. Give me someone more adventurous and rough around the edges.
Humble men who are upright in heart and want to make them feel wanted and loved are dismissed as not living up to their standards of masculinity. But that's what women need. Men who are faithful and remained committed to the relationship. But a lot of AW need drama in their life so they seek out dead beat men that will possibly provide that for them. Then when the guy cheats on them and uses up their gold mine then they start hunting for a nice guy.
Look, I'm a nice guy but I'm far from being a pushover. I will put a woman in her place with the quickness if she happens to throw a nasty attitude at me or speak to me in a condescending manner. I have no tolerance for such behavior. So just because a man seems to be "nice" and carries himself with humility doesn't mean he doesn't have a backbone. Their way of thinking is too corrupted to even realize that.
Nice guys win with nice girls, sometimes. No one ever talks about where the nice girls have gone. It's all about the guys and how they need to "man up". Yes, that may be part of the solution. But why is no one addressing the lack of nice girls? Does everyone just assume that they are gone and that there is nothing to be done about that?
My Myanmar lady left me to go search for another bad guy. Well, the last one had about 10 girlfriends, but who cares, he was hot!
Still not convinced ladies want good guys, especially the hot ones.
I quit my boring cubicle slave job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
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Seriously? But how are they now? Are they aggressive? I mean JT Tran comes off as aggressive to me. You being yourself would work around me there are girls who like nice guys.
I am so sorry that happened to you she's a dumb skank. I can't speak for all women OBVIOUSLY...but even though I do like good looking nice guys I honestly don't care about looks. For me a guy can be unattractive physically, but if he's a nice guy he will get my number. I would rather date a nice unattractive guy than a good looking douche. But I agree that many women are shallow, but so are Men.
So long..sorry! In College honestly, a lot of guys except for the nerdy/studious guys no one really liked nice girls either. See I dress more covered up like I'm too shy to show too much skin. In college during Freshman year I felt like all the guys majority went to the non-studious girls and/or girls that dressed like playboy girls. I mean I did get a lot of play, but it never lasted. A lot of them talked about how boring I was because I don't drink or party and didn't give it up quickly. But I do agree that nice guys have it harder, but I think nice girls have it hard too. I think after my situation I realized that it's better to just go after people like me. I'm sure nothing would go wrong with a studious type girl. Aww thank you for saying that you are so sweet. And lastly I fee like most people are just compatible with people who are similar to them.
Thank you for welcoming me. And honestly I agree with your post completely. I don't know how anyone can think that because a guy is nice he isn't masculine? I mean that absolutely makes ZERO sense. Nice guys are much more masculine because I fee like nice guys in horrible situations handle things usually in a polite and respectful manner which is totally masculine compared to a douche who would have uncontrollable behavior in bad situations. Nothing is more attractive than helping others. Honestly I would have to date a guy who's similar to me in that passive way. I am very passive-aggressive more on the passive side so he couldn't USE me as a door mat because I am a YES type of person (excluding one night stands) it's hard to say no, hahaha. But..what do you mean by put a woman in her place? How? If I may ask. And I am assuming you have bad experiences with women? Am I right?
Ugh so true. I hope you find a nice woman woman who likes you for you. Also I feel like while partying and getting into some trouble may be considered fun and adventurous it shouldn't be the be all end all of adventure. I find working on a computer and trying to improve it(lame I know) as fun, going to a Science Museum or going to a concert or music festival as fun. We share similar experiences most things I consider fun is considered lame by many and I'm a known pushover which isn't really helping the nice person stereotype, haha.