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American Men Need More Friends

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American Men Need More Friends

Postby Taco » Thu Dec 12, 2013 6:44 am

Of all people in America, adult, white, heterosexual men have the fewest friends.

American Men Need More Friends
http://www.alternet.org/culture/america ... re-friends
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Postby Ghost » Thu Dec 12, 2013 2:05 pm

All that repression of men is going to explode one day. I recall once hearing on the radio that a woman should not date a man without friends. I immediately thought it made no sense since American men are spurned when they try to make friends and be social.
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Postby fschmidt » Thu Dec 12, 2013 4:07 pm

The article is written by a woman who has no clue. The problem is simple. When American men start chasing women, they become untrustworthy slime, unworthy of being anyone's friend.
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Postby HouseMD » Thu Dec 12, 2013 5:50 pm

fschmidt wrote:The article is written by a woman who has no clue. The problem is simple. When American men start chasing women, they become untrustworthy slime, unworthy of being anyone's friend.

Not really. Bros before hoes man. The only slime is a guy you can't trust, which isn't really an issue with any of my friends, they're all locked up in LTRs and have been for years. There's plenty of good people out there if you know where to look.
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Postby fschmidt » Thu Dec 12, 2013 6:47 pm

HouseMD wrote:Not really. Bros before hoes man. The only slime is a guy you can't trust, which isn't really an issue with any of my friends, they're all locked up in LTRs and have been for years. There's plenty of good people out there if you know where to look.

I don't believe this. The few decent Americans that I knew were destroyed (insanity, suicide, etc.) and the rest turned out to be backstabbing slime. If I could exterminate every person who considers themselves a member of American culture, I would do it without hesitation. I am reminded of the conversation between Abraham and God about Sodom and Gomorrah.
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Postby HouseMD » Thu Dec 12, 2013 6:55 pm

fschmidt wrote:
HouseMD wrote:Not really. Bros before hoes man. The only slime is a guy you can't trust, which isn't really an issue with any of my friends, they're all locked up in LTRs and have been for years. There's plenty of good people out there if you know where to look.

I don't believe this. The few decent Americans that I knew were destroyed (insanity, suicide, etc.) and the rest turned out to be backstabbing slime. If I could exterminate every single person who considers themselves a member of American culture, I would do it without hesitation. I am reminded of the conversation between Abraham and God about Sodom and Gomorrah.

My friends are good people. When we fall on hard times, we take donations from the group to help one another out. We're always there for one another when needed, and we don't say anything behind each other's backs that we wouldn't say to a person's face. But it is all intentional, for a few years back were all having a talk about how there was no community anymore, no friendship and support like their used to be. And we thought, why can't we make our own community? Something that stands where churches and extended family used to? We made a pact to stand by each other through thick and thin, to stay in touch, and to make time for each other. We're a pretty tight group, but new people keep being added over the years because once they get invited over, they want to be a part of what we've got going. We boot out any troublemaking newcomers, but it doesn't happen often. Wouldn't trade my group of friends for the world.
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Postby Ghost » Fri Dec 13, 2013 4:51 am

HouseMD wrote:
fschmidt wrote:
HouseMD wrote:Not really. Bros before hoes man. The only slime is a guy you can't trust, which isn't really an issue with any of my friends, they're all locked up in LTRs and have been for years. There's plenty of good people out there if you know where to look.

I don't believe this. The few decent Americans that I knew were destroyed (insanity, suicide, etc.) and the rest turned out to be backstabbing slime. If I could exterminate every single person who considers themselves a member of American culture, I would do it without hesitation. I am reminded of the conversation between Abraham and God about Sodom and Gomorrah.

My friends are good people. When we fall on hard times, we take donations from the group to help one another out. We're always there for one another when needed, and we don't say anything behind each other's backs that we wouldn't say to a person's face. But it is all intentional, for a few years back were all having a talk about how there was no community anymore, no friendship and support like their used to be. And we thought, why can't we make our own community? Something that stands where churches and extended family used to? We made a pact to stand by each other through thick and thin, to stay in touch, and to make time for each other. We're a pretty tight group, but new people keep being added over the years because once they get invited over, they want to be a part of what we've got going. We boot out any troublemaking newcomers, but it doesn't happen often. Wouldn't trade my group of friends for the world.


So you guys just met and just decided to form a community? There has to be more to it than that. How many are in the group? How is it organized? How do you all make it work?
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Postby Hackenfall Backslash » Fri Dec 13, 2013 5:54 am

HouseMD wrote:My friends are good people. When we fall on hard times, we take donations from the group to help one another out. We're always there for one another when needed, and we don't say anything behind each other's backs that we wouldn't say to a person's face. But it is all intentional, for a few years back were all having a talk about how there was no community anymore, no friendship and support like their used to be. And we thought, why can't we make our own community? Something that stands where churches and extended family used to? We made a pact to stand by each other through thick and thin, to stay in touch, and to make time for each other. We're a pretty tight group, but new people keep being added over the years because once they get invited over, they want to be a part of what we've got going. We boot out any troublemaking newcomers, but it doesn't happen often. Wouldn't trade my group of friends for the world.

If what you say is true, I wish I had met you guys growing up. Perhaps then I wouldn't be making the decision I am. The other posters are right; legitimate people are hard to find. American men especially need more friends but they won't reach out to other men. They simply refuse to do it. What you have is a blessing and something far more valuable than . . . shit, a lot of things. Oh well. No use crying over spilled milk.
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Postby dreamer82 » Fri Dec 13, 2013 6:19 am

I can understand why males don't get too intimate or reveal personal things. The internet has brought on a lot of bullying and pain. People can really f**k with you. I think before the internet people were more real before all the myspace and facebook bullsh*t. But then, the internet has brought us nice websites like this to find like minds. I'm reminded of a little story by Aristotle or someone like that. An old wise man was on his deathbed and one of his disciples came to him and told him his friends were outside and wanted to come in to see him. He replied to his surprised student, "Friends, there are no friends". Oh, and once a friend gets married, sayonara. His wife will make sure of that!
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Postby zboy1 » Fri Dec 13, 2013 6:49 am

dreamer82 wrote:I can understand why males don't get too intimate or reveal personal things. The internet has brought on a lot of bullying and pain. People can really f**k with you. I think before the internet people were more real before all the myspace and facebook bullsh*t. But then, the internet has brought us nice websites like this to find like minds. I'm reminded of a little story by Aristotle or someone like that. An old wise man was on his deathbed and one of his disciples came to him and told him his friends were outside and wanted to come in to see him. He replied to his surprised student, "Friends, there are no friends". Oh, and once a friend gets married, sayonara. His wife will make sure of that!


Dreamer, you are spot on! Before the pre-Internet days...it was much easier to make friends with people, and much easier for guys to stick together and look-out for one another.

After the dawn of the Internet, things started changing: people became more reclusive, sheltered and anti-social; Women became bitchy, manipulative and nasty. I don't know why, but I'm guessing the Internet Age opened-up the floodgates of vice and evil to impressionable people everywhere--eventually polluting the minds of everyone that came into contact with it.
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Postby Maverick » Fri Dec 13, 2013 7:13 am

Personally, I don't find it hard to make friends anywhere. There are many good, genuine people out there of both genders.

For some reason though, when you start to date women, they start acting all crazy and start playing games, even if they were normal when you were just friends.

Definitely not difficult to make good guy friends though, in my experience.
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Postby HouseMD » Fri Dec 13, 2013 9:19 am

Ghost wrote:
HouseMD wrote:
fschmidt wrote:
HouseMD wrote:Not really. Bros before hoes man. The only slime is a guy you can't trust, which isn't really an issue with any of my friends, they're all locked up in LTRs and have been for years. There's plenty of good people out there if you know where to look.

I don't believe this. The few decent Americans that I knew were destroyed (insanity, suicide, etc.) and the rest turned out to be backstabbing slime. If I could exterminate every single person who considers themselves a member of American culture, I would do it without hesitation. I am reminded of the conversation between Abraham and God about Sodom and Gomorrah.

My friends are good people. When we fall on hard times, we take donations from the group to help one another out. We're always there for one another when needed, and we don't say anything behind each other's backs that we wouldn't say to a person's face. But it is all intentional, for a few years back were all having a talk about how there was no community anymore, no friendship and support like their used to be. And we thought, why can't we make our own community? Something that stands where churches and extended family used to? We made a pact to stand by each other through thick and thin, to stay in touch, and to make time for each other. We're a pretty tight group, but new people keep being added over the years because once they get invited over, they want to be a part of what we've got going. We boot out any troublemaking newcomers, but it doesn't happen often. Wouldn't trade my group of friends for the world.


So you guys just met and just decided to form a community? There has to be more to it than that. How many are in the group? How is it organized? How do you all make it work?

That's really all there was to it. We would get hammered together and watch Carl Sagan and smoke pot and talk about what we wished the world was like, and then one day we were just like, "lets not be like everyone else. Let's have relationships that mean something." And we just sort of stuck to it. There's 6 of us in the core group, and 10 people that hang out with us regularly, plus a large group of irregulars that only know one of the 16 regulars. It's a mixed group, with 7 girls and 9 guys. The only real order to it is the core vs peripheral members. I'd take a bullet for the five that I've been hanging with forever, but I'd still fight for the newer ones if I had to.
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Postby Jester » Sat Dec 14, 2013 8:09 am

HouseMD wrote:
My friends are good people. When we fall on hard times, we take donations from the group to help one another out. We're always there for one another when needed, and we don't say anything behind each other's backs that we wouldn't say to a person's face. But it is all intentional, for a few years back were all having a talk about how there was no community anymore, no friendship and support like their used to be. And we thought, why can't we make our own community? Something that stands where churches and extended family used to? We made a pact to stand by each other through thick and thin, to stay in touch, and to make time for each other. We're a pretty tight group, but new people keep being added over the years because once they get invited over, they want to be a part of what we've got going. We boot out any troublemaking newcomers, but it doesn't happen often. Wouldn't trade my group of friends for the world.



HouseMD wrote:
That's really all there was to it. We would get hammered together and watch Carl Sagan and smoke pot and talk about what we wished the world was like, and then one day we were just like, "lets not be like everyone else. Let's have relationships that mean something." And we just sort of stuck to it. There's 6 of us in the core group, and 10 people that hang out with us regularly, plus a large group of irregulars that only know one of the 16 regulars. It's a mixed group, with 7 girls and 9 guys. The only real order to it is the core vs peripheral members. I'd take a bullet for the five that I've been hanging with forever, but I'd still fight for the newer ones if I had to.



Probably the most innovative effort I've heard of to deal with the problem.

Maybe hard for some of the loners here to conceive of how to get started with this.

I guess the keys would be hanging out in real life, being comfortable with each other, and mutual trust and respect.

I can see how you build those things if you've shared an intense combat-like experience together, like medical residency, for example.

I wonder what opportunities some of us others have to get this going.

This is interesting.
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Postby onethousandknives » Sun Dec 15, 2013 6:24 am

Make friends with foreigners. They usually got no friends here and are like, actually friendly. My Indian neighbors invited me over for dinner plenty of times. Never had an American invite me over for dinner...ever? My Indian neighbors drove newer cars, had a big giant TV, clean house, etc, but said they had no friends here in my state where they lived.

I had a Pakistani friend that was a good friend of mine, who moved out of state, and also a friend from Sweden who moved back to Sweden because he hated it here and had no friends and got very few dates and had friends back in Sweden.
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Postby Hackenfall Backslash » Sun Dec 15, 2013 7:27 am

I wish I had foreign friends.
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