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I know most of you are suffering from loneliness and are craving affection, sex, and attention from a woman. We all want that and that's perfectly fine. We're men.
But we're told to do certain things to possibly find a girlfriend or wife in this country.
Solutions to the problems of finding a girlfriend/wife
Some would recommend:
Find someone at the gym
Bars (I don't recommend)
Malls/stores and supermarkets
Social events (concerts, parties, etc.)
Online "meeting" (as I like to call it)
Barriers to deal with
Attempting to approach and strike up a conversation can be perceived as desperate,
you're up to something, or you're a "nice" guy (aka not very masculine).
A lot of times women put no effort into interacting. No effort goes into exercising their social skills. So you're "game" has to be tight to make her come out of her shell.
My buddy's Dad said women have to protect themselves. They just have to. So a wall is put up which sends
out negative vibes which makes us keep our distance.
Approaching is not acceptable behavior in this culture. Only if you're at a bar or at a party.
Sometimes race can be a strike against you.
Most women give no signs of interest.
Putting aside the fact that most of us feel like we're not compatible with AW we still want to find someone.
Note: Of course, I'm referring to women we're attracted to and want to talk to.
Now how can any of those solutions work when you're dealing with those barriers?
So what's the solution for establishing a connection with a female in this country? Is there a solution?
Some people will say it's not that difficult because people are meeting other people. There are plenty of people who are in relationships or married.
I'm still willing to find a girl in this country but how? We suppress our attraction for females, we can't approach them, you can't flirt, you have to be super conscious of everything you do and say if you decide to approach someone who has caught your eye, you can't come off too excited because that would mean you're desperate, you can't do this and you can't do that. SO HOW THE HELL ARE YOU SUPPOSED TO CONNECT WITH A GIRL? There's all these rules for meeting women. It's all so unnatural.
You need to do these things to get girls in America:
1. Already have a good social network.
2. Be wealthy.
3. Be a bad boy.
Anything other than this won't get you much success.
I hope you have some kind of plan to start a business, get famous or become a successful investor.
I have no earthly idea why you won't go overseas because if you want it to work in America, you will have to work hard and bust your a** and get on your money/financial grind.
If you're a guy and making a lot of money isn't your kind of thing and you're not super ambitious, America will become a very lonely place for you.
Because women are only going to get pickier in America and women already have their own money, so they want men to make even more money now.
"Allow me to show you the Power Cosmic!" - Silver Surfer
The only options that have worked for me are:
The reason those work as you don't have to force your way into someones life.
When people go out and drink, they will often open up...somewhat and sometimes (depending on if there is immediate physical attraction). Also, if you go with friends (parties, nightclubs, etc.) and know people...you network. You meet girls through mutual acquaintances. This was the absolute best way that I met girls...hands down. I met my current GF that way.
If you are in the same class with a girl you are attracted to, you can always talk about class topics. If conversation goes well, you might be able to pair up and work on projects, etc. together.
Salsa Dancing should work too and I have heard people talk about it. I have never done that, but I can't see how that wouldn't work as well...especially if you are a really good Salsa dancer:).
The other options you listed are just not going to work for MOST people IMO.
Approaching a girl at the gym will likely get you a dirty look. They don't want to meet people at the gym, they want to work out, sweat, listen to music on headphones, etc..
Approaching women in random spots like libraries, grocery stores, etc. will also likely get you a negative response. Many women dress down when they go to shop, etc. and they have a daily to-do list that they want to complete. You are not on that list and cold approaching a girl in the USA will automatically get you creeper status...unless you are a WIZARD.
Meeting online always turned out TERRIBLE for me in the USA. The girls pictures weren't real or the pictures were 10 years old. They LIE, LIE, LIE. I end up having to find a polite way to ditch them immediately upon meeting. It's like they expect me to look past their physical appearance after they LIED to get me there in the first place.
I think that if you don't like strategically PLACING yourself in a position to meet women (being a bartender or host at a popular nightclub works VERY well btw), then best to forget meeting women in the USA.
Having money won't automatically get you women, unless you are a multi-millionaire/billionaire and you can prove it. Then, the girl might just use you for your money while they really pursue someone else that stimulates them in ways that you can't. People skills and physical attraction is more important than $$. I've known too many RICH men who can't get a woman to BE with them faithfully. If you are a boring, uninteresting rich dude...your gonna get used and that's it. I suppose if you are smart and rich, you can consistently buy the affections of women whenever you want to...but that doesn't appeal to me.
I suggest going the bad boy route.
It's funny. Being a dick and treating girls like shit actually becomes fun when you have enough experience with AW. Of course, these will be hard habits to break once I'm finally able to leave the US.
Being a bad boy is just about the only thing that will work. If you are intent on both staying a nice guy and staying in America, then I think you will have to search for a devout religious community and try to assimilate. Otherwise, we all know what mainstream AWs are interested in: bad boys, money, hot guys, etc.
Well I don't have a good social network, I'm not wealthy, and I'm not a bad boy but I don't put up with immature behavior from women.
I do have a backbone. However, I'm not going to conform just to have a girl.
Now, I have aspirations of creating a web design business. Money and status does make you more attractive to not only AW but women in general. Women want security! Women want to look up to their man. But I don't get why it's not enough to be a working man, let's say you make $40K a year, you have your own place, your own car, you're good looking, and you have good social skills.
I don't get something. If it's that complicated in America to even get a date, let alone a girlfriend, then how do all the guys in your average local suburban neighborhood that are all married, meet their wives?
What I hate is that in America, you are assumed to already have a partner/wife and not expected to be "looking" since everyone minds their own business. So "seeking women" feels out of the flow. It's a huge catch-22.
It's already been explained to you before that meeting women does NOT equal getting dates. There are many ways to meet AW. But if you aren't their type, they will reject you, friendzone you, tell you they have a boyfriend, tell you that they just got out of a relationship and aren't looking to date anyone right now because they are working on themselves, don't have time to date guys, or make up other stupid excuses.
They make may polite small talk, but it won't go beyond that. It won't get romantic. Lots of guys here have experienced that, including me. Some guys are the type that all AW friendzone. We may get lucky occasionally, but we can easily go out and meet 100 women and be rejected by all of them. If you aren't their type, meeting them isn't going to change that. The net result is still zero. For some guys, dating is a zero sum game in America, no matter what we do. I experienced this THOUSANDS of times, and so have other guys I've known.
Your only chance in the US is to meet a foreign girl that just arrived, or a spiritually oriented AW, both of which aren't easy, but are somewhat easier.
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"It takes far less effort to find and move to the society that has what you want than it does to try to reconstruct an existing society to match your standards." - Harry Browne, How I Found Freedom in an Unfree World
If they're like my generation, they met their wives in college or HS. If not then, they met them in their early work years. The second part, yeah, I've felt that as well. What used to happen to me over & over again- I'd get married (don't ask) or in a relationship & decent & good looking women would be in my face pretty much most of the time that I was.
Poss. solution (for the young guys who want to date here)- if you want women to fall all over you in the U.S., wear a wedding ring.
Those guys just lower their standards until they find a woman who meets those standards. It's easy to find a wife if you don't care what she looks like.
Getting married in this country isn't hard, but finding a quality wife is.
Exactly Hero! That's why I said, "I'm referring to women we're attracted to and want to talk to." It's difficult finding a girl who I'm attracted to, meets most of my standards and she seems approachable. Girls who I'm attracted to and seem to have that certain demeanor that attracts me never seem approachable.
My ex colleague is fat and bald and he's just found a very nice lady on Match.com.
Go for older women, milfs, shy girls, girls who never go to bars... there's loads of choice out there.
I quit my boring cubicle slave job and now I'm Happier Abroad...
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I wouldn't touch an American female of ANY kind with my worst enemy's dink... when it comes to females in the USA, AWALT. No exceptions.
Some may be "cool" at first but in a matter of months they WILL go to shit. And they WILL make your life a living hell. How many times do y'all have to get burned before you wise up?